The Rapture is happening May 21st, 2011 - so deal with it.

http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/7/2010/07/500x_screen_shot_2010-07-28_at_2.26.16_am.jpg

From the Nashville Scene:

People have been setting Rapture dates for a long time. Some 220 dates in all, by this site's count. Insular groups of faithful have waited with bated breath for hundreds of years, canceling credit cards and telling bosses to fuck off, only to watch the moment pass, their bodies disappointingly earthbound, their march of shame back into the office to beg that boss for their job virtually assured.

But for real, people, Family Radio, Inc.'s Harold Camping has got it right this time: May 21, 2011. Fans of Family Radio have paid for signs all over the country, according to The Tennessean, and Nashville's Allison Warden is taking care of us. Apparently there are 40 such billboards in and around Music City.

And the date: "It's a certainty," Warden said.

http://www.familyradio.com/images/rotate/End_of_the_World.gif

Lol at Save the Date. We don't want those hair appointments interfering with the return of Christ

Dude made the same claim back in 1996. His excuse was "i miscalculated".

Certainly, he's right this time tho!

Interesting timing. I've been reading Jonathan Kirsch's book about Revelation, and he makes the point that it's far more a Jewish work, than a Christian one, a point made by many, many others over several hundred years.

Good book, too: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d.html/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/178-9679585-0908503?a=0060816988

xp These guys are always miscalculating!! That's always their excuse!

At least when X-Day failed to happen the Sub-Genii were smart, they were like "Uh, Bob told us it just got postponed."
(with heavy implied subtext that it was all just a fucking joke anyway, of course.)

Kinda wish it was the 22nd now so i could check out lame excuse.

This is a very educational link: http://www.bible.ca/pre-date-setters.htm

Some others here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Coming_of_Christ#Specific_date_predictions disagree.

so what exactly happens when jesus comes back? all the blessed go straight to heaven, but the rest of us just kick it? satan is our lord? 1,000 years of peace and prosperity? i can't remember.

At least when X-Day failed to happen the Sub-Genii were smart, they were like "Uh, Bob told us it just got postponed."

"The manual page of the ddate program claims that the Church "declared that it had got the year upside down" and that X-Day will actually take place in 8661.[3] The most popular explanation for the failure of the prophecy in the Church is usually summarized with the statement, "the calendar is wrong and July 5th, 1998 has not really arrived yet."

awesome pagan party (there will be murder, mayhem and all kinds of horrible deeds) until October 21, when the Earth will be destroyed by fire iirc

xpost

nice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yDWXNKPtNw

wd be great timing, I won't have to decide on renewing my lease.

Numerology: If you divide 2000 by 3, you will get the devil's number 666.66666666666667.

Emm...

A False teacher named Shelby Corbett, of Bradenton, Florida has put up benches throughout town advertising the rapture will happen in 2007! She has little Bible knowledge and is tying to make money selling her book.

Much love for snarky fundamentalists.

Charles Spiegel, a retired psychology professor, preaches from a small town near San Diego CA that the ancient land of Atlantis will emerge from the Caribbean circa 2001 CE. Shortly thereafter, 1000 extra-terrestrials from "Myton" in 33 spaceships will land there and bring new knowledge to humanity.

This I can dig.

I wish it was 8 years ago so I could flood the thread with "Olio" videos

xxxxp thanks for the correction Shakey, I was going off hazy, incorrect memories. Those explanations are great and way better than whatever the fundies say when their predictions turn out wrong. Look out year 8661, the end is nigh!!

The date misses by just about 6.66 weeks the 30th anniversary of Blondie's "Rapture" hitting #1.

Salvation or triple your money back.

>>Charles Spiegel, a retired psychology professor, preaches from a small town near San Diego CA that the ancient land of Atlantis will emerge from the Caribbean circa 2001 CE. Shortly thereafter, 1000 extra-terrestrials from "Myton" in 33 spaceships will land there and bring new knowledge to humanity.

>This I can dig.

Wait, wasn't this concurrent with the Heaven's Gate/Hale-Bopp/Nike Cortez eunuch crew?

At least the new Britney album will be out by then...

xp (I have zero desire to ever live there again but damn I love SD's wacky mystical OTT cults, maybe I spent too many days surfing Swami's in the shadows of the Bahi'a or Self-Realization ashram, can't remember which one it is).

Swami's is awesome

My bday's just 10 days later. Can't Jesus wait 'til my bday?

shasta dude, i must've seen you out there. that was my north county zone (i am not north county)

unless you are v old like me i doubt it my broheemian blapsoddy

Heaven's Gate original website is still up btw
http://www.heavensgate.com/

http://www.heavensgate.com/img/hbhgtd.jpg

The group are long dead yet the domain is still going. How odd.

immortality is theirs

At what point of being alienated from modern life does this start to appeal to one, I wonder. What threshold do you hafta hit.

10 minutes of one of those housewives shows was enough for me

praise the lord

lol

Required reading for surviving the decade:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/2d/1964_When_Prophecy_Fails_Festinger.jpg

So you believe the rapture is on May 21st? Then sign an official deed that transfers all your earthly possessions to the poor and the atheists on May 22nd.

so what exactly happens when jesus comes back? all the blessed go straight to heaven, but the rest of us just kick it? satan is our lord? 1,000 years of peace and prosperity? i can't remember.

― tylerw, Tuesday, January 4, 2011 6:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

p certain he's going to announce it in a supermarket and get arrested for making the mineral water section start to turn. his lawyer will plead insanity against his behalf, especially as he keeps saying he's fucking jesus, he gets scared as he's never seen cars or lightbulbs before, and he ends up in a mental institution trying to figure a way him & chief & some dude who thinks he's danny devito can miracle their way out.

it's pretty obvious that the rapture happened a long, long time ago and that all the real god jesus elect people have gone off to their promised reward, and the rest of us are going to be boiling around like lice in this dungheap for what remains of eternity.

So you believe the rapture is on May 21st? Then sign an official deed that transfers all your earthly possessions to the poor and the atheists on May 22nd.

― StanM, Wednesday, 5 January 2011 07:34 (7 hours ago) Bookmark

Best idea yet!

haha that reminds me of the Father Ted episode where all the priests were on the airplane that was about to crash. and one priest offered the advice "let's all just sit here and pray to god, he will save us" and all the other priests didn't look convinced.

but seriously, are we going to get bombarded with this type of nonsense the closer we get to 2012 or what

i don't think 2012 is the thing so much as obama being the antichrist via being a muslim african

I was able to clear most of my afternoon, but the morning is still pretty busy.

Here's the sign in midtown Atlanta I just took a photo of:

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5044/5328087222_3627555703_z.jpg

is this why the birds are falling from the sky and fish are dying in the US?

jesus hates birds and fish?

good use of "cank" (,v., to troll) in that ad

so what exactly happens when jesus comes back? all the blessed go straight to heaven, but the rest of us just kick it? satan is our lord? 1,000 years of peace and prosperity? i can't remember.

actually want an answer to this question.

not because i believe the end is near, but because it shines a light on how certain groups of believers look at other peoples.

this fuckin guy

I'm assuming all believers are sad little people who find so little joy in the world that they harbor deep-seated psychological needs to believe in its imminent destruction

phrases like "sad little people" make you sound like Hugo Kalmar which is nagl

I am assuming that anyone who can point to a date when the Rapture occurs hasn't actually read the Bible.

― I HAVE ISSUES (DJP), Monday, May 23, 2011 6:02 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^ truth Wormwood

"But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." - Matthew 24:36

That's OK then.

Has anyone straight up quoted that phrase to Camping in an interview? Someone must have. I'd love to know how he skirted it?

He (or they, I don't know) tackle that throny subject right here...
http://www.familyradio.com/graphical/literature/nomanknows/nomanknows.html

Basically he's saying that because he's a Wise Man/True Believer, the Truth has been revealed to him and the rest of you just aren't Wise/True Believers enough.

Or...

The Bible is the living Word that requires the Holy Spirit to open the spiritual understanding of the person reading or hearing the words of the Bible. Therefore, since it was not God’s plan to open anyone’s understanding of many truths of the Bible until very near the time of the end of the world, it is only now that exceedingly important Biblical truths are being understood.

Sorted.

"But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." - Matthew 24:36

Guys, has it occurred to anybody here that Harold Camping actually saved our asses and continues to PREVENT the apocalypse by figuring out when it's gonna be and then Jesus has to keep postponing it to make it a surprise??

Jesus? I blame his dad.

Same dude.

I had that same thought, Hadrian

Oh, right, that's what it was. We just completely "misunderstood" all of his billboards with May 21, 2011 clearly printed on them. Our bad.

not to be all save-a-dummy but he was saying HE and his organization misunderstood, not that we misunderstood

gonna laugh when the world doesn't blow up

Oh lol, blame my skimming before coffee on that one.

Follower Jeff Hopkins said he spent a good deal of his own retirement savings on gas money to power his car so people would see its ominous lighted sign showcasing Camping's May 21 warning. As the appointed day drew nearer, Hopkins started making the 100-mile round trip from Long Island to New York City twice a day, spending at least $15 on gas each trip.

"I've been mocked and scoffed and cursed at and I've been through a lot with this lighted sign on top of my car," said Hopkins, 52, a former television producer who lives in Great River, NY. "I was doing what I've been instructed to do through the Bible, but now I've been stymied. It's like getting slapped in the face."

o_O

I would like to use a King James Bible to beat these people around the head. It could be the most meaningful and accurate interaction with Scripture some of them will ever have.

Every new story that comes out about these guys is like all of humanity getting slapped in the face.

basically Camping's saying that the Rapture happened and since none of us took the thorny path to salvation we all are left here to wait for the earth to burst into flames, Camping included...

methinks that in a thread so concerned w/ the psychic harm that his prediction has caused, this cannot be seen as anything but a dick move, as the message has changed from "kiss yr terrestrial existence goodbye" to "abandon all hope, ye are damned"...one can only hope that Camping's inability to get himself raptured will severely undercut his credibility among his followers as God's own appointed messenger...

also fun (irrelevant) fact: the number "144,000" getting batted around this thread...those are all Jews. Twelve thousand from each tribe. (Rev 7:4-8)

That's the magic Jehovah's Witnesses number, yes?

i'm sure there's gotta be some sort of allowance for harems, serving men, camels etc per each of those dudes tho right

Dudes i did see a UFO on Saturday at around 6pm, I swear. Maybe that was the 1/50,000 rapture people in my area?

guys

what if Camping IS Jesus?

jesus is camping...in my yard!

wait nope that's a homeless dude n/m

that's how he shows up iirc? Big test 4u

what if camping is the antichrist O_O

read yr malachi, the antichrist will be the next pope iirc

OTM

I'm totally gonna find any believers in the October date and find them on eBay or Craigslist...I could get mad swag, tho I bet they're selling some shitty cds/dvds

http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/254135_2087482467507_1258547521_2568647_4098158_n.jpg

Have there been any interviews with camping since this happened? Or, er, didn't happen?

Close enough:

Harold Camping, the Family Radio minister who inaccurately predicted that the world would experience Judgment Day last May 21, has suffered a stroke.

Camping, the 89-year-old head of the Oakland-based evangelical media company, suffered a stroke on Thursday night after a radio broadcast and was taken to a local hospital, according to a message posted on a Family Radio-oriented Yahoo group by Charlie Menut, station manager of Family Radio affiliate WFME.

oh shit guys

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Latest-News-Wires/2011/1020/Harold-Camping-avoids-press-despite-end-of-days-prediction

happy rapture everyone, let's make this one count

I wonder if this is the real reason they gave my son off school today. "Professional Development Day", my ass.

In the bathroom this morning I said to my wife, "Imagine if the Rapture actually does happen today and the only person who gets caught up in it is Ghaddifi?" This disturbed her.

^^ House of Jealous Lovers

so this guy is just really bad at math?

he's really good at convincing desperate people to send him money they don't really have to spare

Hope he's wrong again this time - I'd hate to have to remember my birthday this way

Anyone around? Did we make it through?

. . .

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/12/17/radio-preacher-who-predicted-doomsday-dies/?hpt=hp_t2

Mary

Why are atheists coming down on a man who did nothing to harm them?
Why is this like coming down on gays who do it in the privacy of their bedrooms or dungeons?
December 18, 2013 at 10:40 am | Report abuse | Reply

"Strong likelihood" that this is it, folks

http://ebible2.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/strong-likelihood-tract2.pdf

(ignore other thread bump. and this one too.)

wait did this actually happen and we're all dead now

i'm at a loss as to how you missed it