How Can You Think About (Insert Activity) When (Insert Tragedy) Just Happened (Insert Duration) Ago?

still self-threadbanned from Congresswoman Giffords thread, and also think this is a topic I wouldn't want to bog thread down with.

As expected, my first fb friend finally made a smug comment on someone else's thread decrying people who were making FB posts about football "when people were killed in Arizona". I was kind of offended by it because it insinuated all of us were insensitive, whereas I had been talking about the incident all afternoon and just needed a break from it from my overemotive reaction to it. I replied politely to this gentleman, but this is a topic I've often thought a lot about so wanted to discuss.

IE, what constitutes inappropriate action during a tragedy? Do the smug 'i care more than u'-isms come from years of social conditioning/fear of reproach? do any of you ever feel guilt that you don't feel bad 'enough' about a tragedy?

Tragedies occur somewhere to someone constantly. Some are better publicized than others. It is, imo, a sign of mental health to be able to distinguish one's degree of personal connection to any particular tragedy, responding appropriately according to that degree.

As sad as the Arizona mass killing was, its connection to the mass of Americans is oblique, almost to the point of being theoretical. It is the mass awareness of it that is the greatest single reason it is important. To react to it as if it were the death of a parent or good friend is not called for. A serious consideration of the meaning of it is appropriate. An understanding of the grief this has brought into the world is appropriate. Halting normal life beyond these few considerations is excessive, as I see it.

'during a tragedy' is a major point here. posting about football from 300 miles away while a tragedy is happening isn't 'during a tragedy'. (aimless just xp'd this more thoughtfully, as usual)

but yeah, in situations where you're actually involved, ime this attitude comes from people that are distant enough to be watching other people's reaction as opposed to dealing with/experiencing their own, i don't tend to pay it much attention. ps i always get the giggles at funerals.

like both of your posts.

i mostly get indignant when I see people directing others on how they should be reacting to anything. I mean HOW DARE PEOPLE POST FACEBOOK STATUSES ABOUT FOOTBALL, PEOPLE ARE DYING IN ARIZONA = "I care more about it than you, therefore I am a better person" from people that say it

shold have said "I like both of your posts"

I'm someone who prefers that life carry on more or less as before in the midst of tragedy. (Outside of immediate families, obviously.) I remember how CNN stopped their 11:00 sports report in the wake of 9/11, which seemed silly to me--for a few days, sure, but they shut down for good, and to this day they've never gone back to a regular sports report. Also in the wake of 9/11, I remember checking all three of the major networks the day that George Harrison died, to see which of them would take a break from 9/11 coverage--this was over two months later, but 9/11 still dominated the news--and lead with Harrison's death. CBS and ABC did not, NBC did. Not leading with the death of a Beatle seemed incomprehensible to me--were CBS and ABC afraid that they'd be viewed as insufficiently serious if they put a Beatles-related story ahead of 9/11?

yea, in that case I think it was entirely about appearances and seeing which network would 'blink' first. because there definitely was an audience for the emotional pornography a lot of the network began resorting to after the first month or so

like here's another example on a smaller scale, like 2001 followed one of the worst two years of my life (1999-2000) where I'd become almost a hermit and had just let things fall apart in my life. 2001 was a major turning point in my life as I decided to rejoin the living and made significant changes in my life. It was a major turning point for me, so I've always viewed that as a really good year for me personally.

So on New Years 2007 we're talking about what the best year was for us and I mention 2001 and I get this shocked look of how could I choose 2001. And well I rationalized yes, 9/11 was terrible (I in fact was terrified for weeks after it), but for me personally, the year as a whole was huge for me as a person.

The friend replied back kind of passive-aggressively that he didn't think "anybody" had a good yaer in 2001. Granted, if I had known someone who died in the attacks, I'm sure my viewopint would be way different, but ya know he almost wanted to crucify me for daring to say that I had a good year in 2001.

Letterman and SNL handled 9/11 right (and they were right there, as close as could be): they went on air immediately, were properly respectful and sensitive to the situation--Letterman in particular was clearly shook up--and then did their best to go forward and make people laugh. I still remember the way SNL had Giuliani come out to give them permission to do comedy; that was a great idea.

Maybe I'm wrong, I can't remember--Letterman may have take a week before he returned to air.

dunno if i have any healthy perspective to offer on this topic, other than suggesting that it's a reality that people mourn at their own pace... fuck people who tell you how to feel about ANYTHING, it's like people giving mersault shit about his ma.

I remember there was an infamous murder in Central Florida of this middle aged woman, who was first abducted and found in the woods later. And the guy was relatively composed for his television interviews, so many people in town started theorizing that he did it for that reason. It became pretty talked up that people thought he really did it and then not long after they arrested the real suspect. buncha assholes.

ie, he did it because he wasn't weeping on television

http://www.theonion.com/video/americans-observing-911-by-trying-not-to-masturbat,14366/

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant (make sure to catch the Obama bit on the crawl machine).

I can't understand why Congress will take a week off. There's shit that needs to get done.

like what?