Best sin / activity from "a range of activities that The Miracle of Frogiveness brands as sinful"

I am thinking "inventing evil things," because it makes me imagine a Satanic Edison tinkering over an altar.

I guess if a frog gives you something (other than a palmload of froggy piss when you pick it up) that's a kind of small miracle...

are we voting for which one of these is most fun/profitable/life-enhancing to do? cos I'm v. torn

I assume "whispering" means telling secrets and not just the act of speaking softly although I sort of wish it did.

I'm leaning towards evil-speaking too, I think.

Kept reading this as Miracle of Froginess and now I've noticed the typo

I am really curious about some of these, like why "incontinence" is a sin.

lol I hadn't noticed

Thank God typos are not a sin! But I think saying "thank God" is a sin.

cursing, self-will and every sex perversion are all pretty classic

"incontinence" means sexual incontinence I wd imagine. also pretty classic

"lack of understanding"

I'm thinking incontinence must be the like lack of self-control definition.

'speaking evil of dignitaries' presumably including ilx mods

NV otm

" Often used to refer to a lacking in moderation or self-control, especially related to sexual desire.[1] This concept is also called wantonness."

"foolishness" = pretty fucking harsh sin

Oh man "speaking evil of dignitaries" is so, so great, too. I bet it includes Scout leaders.

I speak evil of dignitaries on a daily basis, in the process of committing a dozen of those other sins.

I would say I've engaged in 15-20 of these in the past week tbh.

"indiscretion"

Not saying you've committed indiscretion, E. I have a couple times a day, without knowing, pretty sure.

lol

'every sex perversion' makes me lol, because it's like they have in mind all those people who say, "okay so sex perversion is a sin but what if I get off on angels? or fluffy rabbits. is that a sin?" They're like, EVERY perversion.

also I would like to know more about these:
despoiling
ignobleness
clamor

CLEARLY din is a sin.

a quiet world is a sinless world

filthy communications huh. Boy am I screwed.

I love that one because it makes me imagine a smutty telegram.

hah

I also took out "petting" – the most confusing verb ever. I'd hear Mormon leaders talk so much about how "petting" is a sin but they never explained it. I'm still not sure it's like handjobs or just steamy neck caresses.

I think of petting as rubbing through like 9 layers of tweed and crinoline.

"becoming a stumbling block"

This list would make a great weekend.

I would love a whole weekend of unholiness in masters.

unholiness in US Masters
http://content.hollywire.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/tiger-woods.jpg

lol

greediness for filthy lucre
http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00244/_Sex_Pistols_244801s.jpg

I don't understand why backbiting is included here when there's already a catch-all for sexual perversions.

MEMO

To: Young LDS church members
From: The Elders
In re: Petting

It has come to our attention recently that some younger LDS members are confused about the exact meaning of "petting" when used to describe acts between two humans of the opposite gender.

As an aid in assisting your understanding, we have prepared this handy guide.

Q: Is all petting done with the hands?
A: No. Petting is commonly done with the hands, but may engage almost any body part. The tongue, for instance, or the ball of the foot.

Q: Can I pet, or be petted, through my clothing?
A: Yes. The sensitivity of skin allows effective petting, even when clothing intervenes between the petter and the petted.

Q: Is all touching a form of petting?
A: No. God allows touching.

Q: How then, am I to distinguish between touching and petting?
A: Petting is not only deliberate, but repetitive, and progressive.

Q: Am I allowed to imagine petting someone or being petted by someone?
A: Not outside of marriage. Married couples are permitted to pet, by God's all-wise sufferance, provided they do not fall into the sin of Onan.

We sincerely hope this memo will save many young members of the church from falling into unwitting sin.

That is some Poe's Law shit there, Aimless.

Perhaps you are familiar with the anti-masturbation (with bonus homophobia) pamhplet To Young Me Only?

haha to young Men only
young me can't masturbate, she was a girl!

my fave is stumbling block, tho also the one i often feel most guilty about

also "FROGiveness"!!!!

http://www.scottramsey.com.au/playground/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/frog2.jpg

I forgive u, ribbot

xxp I can't help but hear that in the voice of Marlon Brando as Jor-El

display goldmine up in here

The factory and automatic release work on their own schedule.

lol

2 Nephi 26:20 And the Gentiles are lifted up in the pride of their eyes, and have stumbled, because of the greatness of their stumbling block, that they have built up many churches; nevertheless, they put down the power and miracles of God, and preach up unto themselves their own wisdom and their own learning, that they may get gain and grind upon the face of the poor.

they have stumbled because of the greatness of their stumbling block! Maybe that's your problem, Mordy? (Note that "Gentile" here just means "non-Mormon," confusingly)

grinding upon the face of the poor is a pretty great turn of phrase

I think the being a stumbling block thing comes from Leviticus 19:14, "Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God. I am the LORD."

Obv you're the expert on Mormons, but that's the traditional meaning of being a stumbling block: That you're tripping people up and helping them to sin.

oh well yeah BofM is just Bible fanfic – 2 Nephi is mostly just a rip of Isaiah with the occasional bonus "and it came to pass" in it, for flavor ––– I just like that they got the word stumble in there 2x, it is something your avg ILXor would apologize for. "I can't believe I said 'stumble' twice!"

grinding upon the face of the poor is a pretty great turn of phrase

― VegemiteGrrrl, Monday, January 17, 2011 2:18 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah. I have a feeling some of them might welcome such activity.

http://www.next-gen.biz/files/imagecache/article_content_360x270/nextgen/Companies/Activision/tony_hawk_grind.jpg

http://www.homesteadsupply.net/coffee%20grinder.jpg
When I was a kid, looking at the Habitat catalogue, I always wondered what these were for.

My housemate had one but I think she found it at a yard sale and it was so full of dust and weird shit I was too skeeved out to use it.

<3 this thread, gonna have to vote for "disobedience to parents"

as in, if i wasn't already, i'd probably be in a mental institution

She said, "How'd you like to waste some time?"
And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grinding upon the face of the poor

hahah

I don't see nothing wrong / with grinding upon the face of the poor

Based on how many times I was told to "be reverent" as a kid, I am thinking "irreverence" is a p big fucking deal!

http://www.latter-dayvillage.com/store/images/zazzle/i_can_be_reverent_poster-p228217374946793330vsu7_325.jpg

First GIS result for "be reverent" – try telling your Mormon friends to "be reverent" and see if they reflexively fold their arms! It worked on me long after I'd left the Mormon church ;_;

voted "slander"

I am freaked out by the coloring page from the Sunday School manual's lesson on reverence:

http://lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:2e15.jpg

It's got kind of a Man Ray vibe to it.

Hahaha Abbott isn't your family's dachshund trained to do a little prayer posture when you tell her to "be reverent" or did I just make that up in my mind?

oh my gosh I wish I knew!

ok I think made that up then.

"be reverent" is Mormon for "stfu kid"

Q: Is all touching a form of petting?
A: No. God allows touching.

this made me smile.

voting filthy communication.

Voted becoming a stumbling block.

Though clamor is high on my list

You need to do all of those most days, just to get by these days.

voted "double-tongued talk" — a fresh spin on the classic sin of equivocating. "lack of understanding" obviously the biggest dud.

despoiling

After minimal reflection I chose "fleshliness", based solely on its mouth-feel when spoken aloud.

If filthy lucre is bad is it ok if you polish the coins?

I like that "inhospitality" is on this list – it is such a fairy tale sin! Like if you commit it, frogs will come from your mouth every time you speak.

I want tot thank everyone for humoring me while I always talk abt Mormon shit.

Frankly, I love it. Genuinely curious and interested, am I

I tried convincing someone at work that the Mormon church is really the most boring and anesthetizing environment I have ever been part of, but they'd heard about all the "god is a space alien" stuff and couldn't be convinced it amounts to sitting still for 3 hours and hearing "read the scriptures and pray."

fleshliness ftr

cant believe u dropped hatred of god!

Sorry black metallers ;_;

I read that as "Hatred of Golf" for some reason.

Time to change the contact lenses.

"incontinence" means sexual incontinence I wd imagine. also pretty classic

wait waht

Every sex perversion because it hints and an endless and intriguing world of perversity just waiting to be discovered.

" Often used to refer to a lacking in moderation or self-control, especially related to sexual desire.[1] This concept is also called wantonness."

Although sexual incontinence as a phrase is putting some pretty gross images in my head.

Is it really an English-ism or only appears in old books? "Incontinence" meant banging all and sundry for a long time - centuries - before it meant "dodgy bladder".

I googled "sexual incontinence" and got about three items into the results before deciding NO

yeah that's probably one for Safesearch = Extreme Prejudice

So, will mr thread starter list out all the Sexual ones, or are ye gonna poll them on TMI?

"every sex perversion" is so way cheating

unless you have an open relationship...

and is there really no line-item for drunkenness, insobriety or what have you? only thing that might nibble at the sex perversions.

unless you have an open relationship...

― Mark G, Tuesday, January 18, 2011 8:35 AM (51 seconds ago) Bookmark

fucking eskimos

Well here's the full list Mr. G:

Murder, adultery, theft, cursing, unholiness in masters, disobedience in servants, unfaithfulness, improvidence, hatred of God, disobedience to husbands, lack of natural affection, high-mindedness, flattery, lustfulness, infidelity, indiscretion, backbiting, whispering, lack of truth, striking, brawling, quarrelsomeness, unthankfulness, inhospitality, deceitfulness, irreverence, boasting, arrogance, pride, double-tongued talk, profanity, slander, corruptness, thievery, embezzlement, despoiling, covenant-breaking, incontinence, filthiness, ignobleness, filthy communications, impurity, foolishness, slothfulness, impatience, lack of understanding, unmercifulness, idolatry, blasphemy, denial of the Holy Ghost, Sabbath breaking, envy, jealousy, malice, maligning, vengefulness, implacability, bitterness, clamor, spite, defiling, reviling, evil speaking, provoking, greediness for filthy lucre, disobedience to parents, anger, hate, covetousness, bearing false witness, inventing evil things, fleshliness, heresy, presumptuousness, abomination, insatiable appetite, instability, ignorance, self-will, speaking evil of dignitaries, becoming a stumbling block; and in our modern language, masturbation, petting, fornication, adultery, homosexuality; and every sex perversion, every hidden and secret sin and all unholy and impure practices.

I remember asking my dad if S&M was a sin for married couples and he was like: "UH...."

every hidden and secret sin ftw

I am pretty sure nibbling at it counts as a sexual perversion

Presumptuousness ftw!

oh wai...

Where would we be without irreverence?

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

SEX WIN SHOCKA