jjjusten gettin' hitched thread: where i ask questions, share insights, and do my best not to panic or fuck this up

sorry for the self-indulgence, but shit dude this is complicated and i just realized i am under the 4 month to go point

btw cake cutting fees can lick my nuts.

also somebody let me know if this seems like a sane list of places to register at: macys, target, bed bath AND BEYOND

cake cutting fees?

Just ask Dan to do it with his mighty sword.

eh don't panic after eight years of marriage you'll realize all those fees weren't really worth it.

I might add Amazon to that registry list. We ended up asking for money instead, because we had a dinky apartment and wanted to move. Got enough for a security deposit and a mover.

yeah so for the uninitiated, most places will charge you a cake cutting fee if you bring in yer wedding cake from elsewhere to kinda big up their preferred vendor. we have a local bakery that is 100+ years old and the bomb that is run by a totally awes dude that i have talked to a bunch about this, so i figured whatever on the cake cutting fee, but then a dude i know in the wedding industry informed me that the cake cutting fee is per knifestroke, so that $3 fee is actually at least $390 if all our guests show up. fuuuuuuck off

xpost oh shit i never even thought of amazon

can you avoid cake cutting fees if you replace the cake with an asterix style fondue cauldron?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_c-TD6UFd2PU/SRCd0tz8-_I/AAAAAAAAAIE/IVwIknoDceY/s320/Asteric+Cheese+fondue.gif

yeah so btw, you know how every wedding nowadays has cupcakes? not in fact blatant hipsterism, its thx to bullshit cake cutting fees. (themoreyouknow.jpg)

a friend of mine had a sundae bar instead of cake. i imagine they'd charge you a scoop fee.

i shouldnt make this sound so aggro, most of this has gone really smoothly and well under budget, its just all these weirdo nickel and dime things that make me go all hulk when i hear about them

like really? yer going to charge me for the chairs and then seperately for the stupid doily things that go on them? NO ONE IS GOING TO RENT YOUR CRAPPY DENTED STAINED CHAIRS ON THEIR OWN

My mother-in-law made and cut our cake. It was awesome.

Had a friend do a sundae bar too. It was a nice change.

sneak around it by getting pie instead

wtf, cake corkage

Cakeage

yw

hey despite what people tell you, registering is not actually fun but mostly sucks and makes yer brain hurt

spent hours doing it yesterday at macys and when we finished the consultant looked over our registry and told us that generally you need twice as many registered items as guests (which would be 260!) and i asked her how we did and she told me that we had 47. also we apparently didnt have anything for over $100 which is a no no i guess.

when she said "oh you havent picked out your fine china yet" i did my level best not to actually laugh openly

fuck it, just do what you want

^ this is my general wedding advice across the board though

there's so much bullshit stuff you "have to do" for weddings that you don't actually have to do

i mean, basically the consultant is trying to tell you need to register for crap you don't even want, because ... ? because of math?

Fuck cutting a cake, just have guests dig in with their hands like zombies at a funeral.

also we apparently didnt have anything for over $100 which is a no no i guess.

I think this probably benefits Macy's more than you or your guests.

Cake Cutting Fee?

(rhetorical, there)

is henry going to be the ringbearer y/n

n because i dont really want to have to delay the wedding while he passes the ring

i of course mean "passes" in the biblical sense there

btw dude did u get the save the date card? we havent gotten any of them back so i am assuming my mailman just threw them away

i thought the total # of things was weird too, but then i realized a) bridal showers and b) im a slack asshole so normally im the dude stuck buying from the registry when all that is left is like a britta cartridge refill and a $500 set of champagne flutes so i kinda get that

as for the $$$$ stuff i checked w/some other married folks and apparently thats pretty much the category for the "i havent given you a gift since birth" rich distant relatives plus we're old people now so i guess people want to give you nice stuff and not like a non stick spatula (although dont think that isnt on that list dudes)

btw dude did u get the save the date card? we havent gotten any of them back so i am assuming my mailman just threw them away

wait i'm supposed to send it back?

i am terrible at this sort of thing btw

when she said "oh you havent picked out your fine china yet" i did my level best not to actually laugh openly

― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, January 26, 2011 12:02 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark

Yeah, I didn't register for china or crystal or any of that crap.

I don't know if this is a regional thing but we hardly got anything off the registry lists. Almost ever single guest gave cash.

no no you dont need to send it back, i meant that i assumed i fucking blew most of the addresses so a bunch of them would get returned, you are in the clear

the main problem i had wrt china and crystal is that its like 99% super ugly

the main problem i had wrt china and crystal is that its like 99% never used.

lol x-post yep and also I honestly couldn't think of when I'd ever use it

I have a set of awesome martini glasses that someone gave me as a shower gift that are some of the coolest glasses I've ever seen that I occasionally use to drink soda out of because otherwise they'd still be in the box.

hahaha like 90% of our successful registering were like oxo kitchen gadgets and glasses appropriate to the drinking of booze. they did have crystal shot glasses which i will not lie were kinda hilariously tempting but i was reminded that i am to minimize my prank instinct wrt wedding registry

I don't know if this is a regional thing but we hardly got anything off the registry lists. Almost ever single guest gave cash.

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, January 26, 2011 11:20 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

"Every single guy there was either named Petey or Pauly. All their daughters were named Marie."

LOL Well, I am from Long Island but afaik there were no actual mobsters there. At least I don't think there were . . .

Oxo kitchen gadgets are great.

we got very little cash from our guests. I've had friends that got like $20000. WTF.

fuck it, just do what you want

^ this is my general wedding advice across the board though

― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 26 January 2011 17:07 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^this (though also: what your future spouse wants)
We messed around a bit with plans to keep other people happy and there wasn't really any point. Do what feels right.

Fuck a cakeage charge - never heard of such a thing.

Try to put all the organisational crap out of you mind just before and during the wedding & you'll enjoy it more. Don't sweat the little hassles that are bound to crop up (wish I'd taken this advice myself).

well obv. that's a collective "you"

next time I get married I am gonna pull that cliche groom thing and just "cool, whatever, where and when do I show up". there will be bbq, though.

x-post - Yeah. I don't think it was quite $20,000 but it wasn't that far off. I won't lie, it was pretty great.

What n/a and onimo said is totally right but not always the easiest thing to do depending on how much family is involved in the planning and what kind of family you have.

also, quincie otm

christ we got like $1500.

btw I posted an a wedding website that n/a's wife also posted on (no, not the knot) only I didn't realize it was her until she posted pictures and I was like - oh hey, they look familiar! small internet world.

We didn't have a wedding list. We'd lived together in a furnished house for a couple of years and didn't really *need* anything - we just asked people to get whatever they wanted but to check in with my wife's sister, who was keeping track, to make sure we didn't get doublers.

That said, I think wedding lists are really handy when buying for other people and I'm sure some people were annoyed we didn't have one.

all the weddings i've been to lately have been pretty bro'd out affairs, totally sweet.

lol my wife got so much info from that site

Totally. It was actually a pretty good resource.

awwww it looks like it was an awesome day! geat pictures and I too am stoked for GAME OF CHAIRS!
any chance you know where those birdie placecard holders came from? I am currently coveting for my own wedding haha

It really was an awesome day

just wait until I start uploading some of the later reception pictures, lol

GAME OF CHAIRS

― Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, May 23, 2011 11:13 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

YES

3691 is great. YAY!!

also wtf @ the people below naming their kid atari (sorry i hope they are not friends of yrs!)

I'm imagining it took a few shots to get GAME OF CHAIRS pic where there wasn't at least one person grinning.

Actually no! The woman all the way on the right had a mini giggle fit before the picture was taken, but once that subsided we were good to go. There's also a smiley version of the same picture.

xpost When were you taking pictures later, Dan?! You seemed very busy dancing and being happy.

I just remembered John's commentary about the super-pregnant bridesmaid and figuring sure, we could handle the birth right there if was had to (hahaha NO), and the super-inebriated woman who came up to ask me to dance (I complied).

Also the person from K's side of the family yelling out, "Thank you for bringing a Middle Eastern man into our family!" omg roffling to myself hardcore right now

GAME OF CHAIRS ZOMG I am not NEARLY clever enough but I did have the "HBO series" thought instantly upon seeing the pic.

holy lol I don't remember the Middle Eastern man shout, that is amazing

How did you miss THAT?! So totally hilarious/potentially offensive. In other words, perfect.

well remember I was drinking heavily

being in a wedding party is kind of a wild thrill ride, in my experience

Oh, I remember, dude. You were *adorable.*

ok so people asked for playlists, so heres the dinner music one i put together (alphabetical by title at the moment because i am lazy)

Act Naturally - Buck Owens
Little Heaven of the Seven Sea - Al Shaw & His Hawaiian Beachcombers 3:19
Any Time - Buddie Emmons
At Last - Etta James
Baby, Baby (I Still Love You) - Cinderella (no not that cinderella you jerks)
Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) - Nancy Sinatra
Been So Long - The Pastels
Bei Mir Bist Du Schon - The Andrews Sisters
Believe What You Say - Ricky Nelson
Beyond The Sea - Bobby Darin
The Birth Of The Blues - Frank Sinatra
Bloodshot Eyes - Wynonie Harris
Blue Velvet - Bobby Vinton
Book Of Love - The Monotones
Buono Sera - Louis Prima
Caffeine Patrol - Speedy West & Jimmy Bryant
Can't We Be Friends - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Chances Are - Johnny Mathis
Cheek To Cheek - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Close Your Eyes - The Five Keys
Come On-A My House - Rosemary Clooney
Cool Water 2:52 Frankie Laine
Cry 3:04 Johnnie Ray & The Four Lads
Crying In The Rain 1:53 Carole King
Dang Me 1:51 MILLER, ROGER
Don't You Lie to Me 2:59 Hudson Whittaker
Earth Angel (Will You Be Mine) 2:56 The Penguins
El Rey Y Yo 2:12 Los Angeles Negros
Every Day I Have the Blues 3:09
Fever 3:22 Peggy Lee
Flippin' the Lid 2:05 Speedy West & Jimmy Bryant
Gee Whiz (Look At His Eyes) 2:21 Carla Thomas
The Glory Of Love 2:32 Big Bill Broonzy
The Glory Of Love 3:10 The Five Keys
Go To The Mardi Gras 2:45 Professor Longhair
The Great Pretender 2:42 The Platters
Green Onions 2:55 Booker T. & The MG's
He's Mine 1:59 Alice Wonder Land
Heart 2:37 Petula Clark
How High The Moon 2:07 Les Paul and Mary Ford
I Got A Sure Thing 2:39 Ollie & The Nightingales
I Got A Woman 2:54 Ray Charles
I Got Loaded 2:29 Peppermint Harris
I Have A Boyfriend 2:07 The Chiffons
I Heard 2:30 The Mills Brothers
I Love My Baby 2:52 The Phaetons
I Never Cared For You 2:33 Willie Nelson
I Only Have Eyes For You 3:22 The Flamingos
I Walk The Line 2:45 Johnny Cash
I Want To Be Evil 3:32 Eartha Kitt
I'm Blue (The Gong-Gong Song) 2:33 The Ikettes
I've Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now) 2:57 Otis Redding
If I Can't Have You 2:51 Etta James (feat. Harvey Fuqua)
In Dreams 2:49 Roy Orbison
It Mek 2:12 Desmond Dekker & The Aces
It's Too Soon To Know 3:01 The Orioles
Jan Jan-(w Fabulous Counts) 2:18 Fabulous Counts
Jezebel 3:11 Frankie Laine
Just An Old Fashioned Girl 2:55 Eartha Kitt
Last Night 2:39 The Mar-Keys
Lawdy Miss Clawdy 2:35 Lloyd Price
Little Star 2:44 The Elegants
Lonely Avenue 2:35 Ray Charles
Lulu's Back In Town 2:44 Lyle Ritz
Make 'Em Laugh 3:18 Donald O'Connor, Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds
Make The Night A Little Longer 2:31 The Palisades
A Message To You Rudy 2:38 Dandy Livingstone & Rico
Mink, Schmink 3:05 Eartha Kitt
Money Honey 2:58 Clyde McPhatter & The Drifters
Oh No Not My Baby 2:38 Maxine Brown
Only You (And You Alone) 2:41 The Platters
Paper Doll 2:37 The Mills Brothers
Private Number 2:41 Judy Clay & William Bell
Rock Me Baby 2:16 Lou Johnson
Rockin Chair [1947] 3:08 Louis Armstrong
Sh-Boom 2:27 The Chords
Since I Don't Have You 2:44 The Skyliners, with Lenny Martin & The Orch.
Snatching It Back 2:41 Clarence Carter
Story Untold 2:22 The Nutmegs
These Arms Of Mine 2:34 Otis Redding
They Can't Take That Away From Me 4:40 Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Time Is Tight 3:17 Booker T. & The MG's
Way Out There 2:51 The Sons Of The Pioneers
What A Man 2:43 Linda Lyndell
Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera) 2:07 Doris Day
When You Dance 3:00 The Turbans
Why Don't You Write Me? 2:51 The Jacks

pardon the formatting

and this is the dance portion in order, which is a lot easier now that i figured out how to pull lists out of itunes without doing it manually like an idiot:

Stronger - Kanye West
Rag & Bone - The White Stripes
Super Bon Bon - Soul Coughing
Can I Kick It? - A Tribe Called Quest
She Will Only Bring You Happiness - Mclusky
Little Triggers - Elvis Costello
Just A Friend - Biz Markie
So Alive - Love & Rockets
Alex Chilton - The Replacements
Delirious - Prince
Danger! High Voltage - Electric Six
Easy Love - MSTRKRFT
Umbrella - Rihanna
Beautiful World - Devo
Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me - The Pipettes
Another Perfect Catastrophe - Firewater
Funnel Of Love - Wanda Jackson
The Way You Move (Featuring Sleepy Brown) - OutKast
Hot Hot Hot !!! - The Cure
Stickshifts And Safetybelts - Cake
Pop goes the world - Men Without Hats
Thrash Unreal - Against Me!
Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
We Used To Be Friends - The Dandy Warhols
Hoarding it for Home - Mates Of State
Mother Popcorn, Pt. 1 - James Brown
I used to dance with my daddy - Datarock
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - Eurythmics
Gold Digger (feat. Jamie Foxx) - Kanye West
Gulf Shores - Bonnie "Prince" Billy
You're No Rock N' Roll Fun - Sleater-Kinney
Cold As Ice - Foreigner
Hybrid Moments - The Misfits
ATLiens - Outkast
Rock With You - Michael Jackson
The Hope That House Built - Future of the Left
Chick Habit - April March
Crash - The Primitives
Scenario - A Tribe Called Quest
Fun For Me - Moloko
Ace Of Spades - Motörhead
Letter From Belgium - The Mountain Goats
Lakeshore Drifter - Cecil Otter
Tiny Dancer - Elton John
Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt. 1 - The Flaming Lips
Funhouse - Pink
Possum Kingdom The - Toadies
Car - Built to Spill
Don't Bring Me Down - Electric Light Orchestra
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap - AC/DC
Take A Chance On Me - ABBA
Whiskey You're the Devil - The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem
Bottle Of Smoke - The Pogues
Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
Everyday (Is Halloween) - Ministry
Blue - The Jayhawks
Magic Number - De La Soul
This Is Love - PJ Harvey
Sold! - Enon
Just Dance - Lady GaGa
Far, Far Away - Wilco
Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
adeadenemyalwayssmellsgood - Future of the left
Oh! - Sleater-Kinney
Mood To Burn Bridges - Neko Case
Birth, School, Work, Death - Godfathers, The
Leeds United - Amanda Palmer
It's Oh So Quiet - Björk

man I'm dancing just reading through it :D

lol @ gin blossoms

Ok let's be clear, that was a request from the bride, who unlike me is not old and decrepit was of the teen years in the 90s

Thank you for sharing the music list, John!!!

no problem!

oh and i suppose:

processional

All Over Again - Johnny Cash

brides entrance

We are Going to be Friends - White Stripes

recessional

Lovin' Spree - Eartha Kitt

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/247402_10150204891772320_507527319_6998263_6949935_n.jpg

doing my best to abuse the help, who also happens to be my good friend shaun

haha shaun rules

we have a theme of pictures like that, lemme see if i can find the one from 5 years ago

Shaun did a great job w/ photos and always seems like a nice dude to me

oh yeah:

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v291/134/73/545080589/n545080589_1430782_7644.jpg

haha NICE!

oh and:

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v291/6/27/13944302/n13944302_46464959_6890.jpg

so great

hahaha i forgot how many of these i have

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v291/6/27/13944302/n13944302_46464894_9783.jpg

it's like a sitcom in photos

totally want to drink with shaun, screw you jjj j/k

what VegemiteGrrrl said!

Shaun and JJ Go To White Castle, The Pub, The Bridge, A Wedding, White Castle Again...

:)

oh man, u guys and the wedding playlists.

my best friend got married in fall '91, and naturally the leadoff song was Twin Peaks theme.

I like your playlist! We spent half the weekend working on ours. Interestingly, the only overlap is Bei Mir Bist Du Schon by the Andrews Sisters. We had It's Oh So Quiet (but Betty Hutton's version) but I think I took it off. My fiance is not quite as gin-blossoms flexible as you were, though I got a little Britpop window (Hand in Glove > Babies > Annie > Love Fool > You & Me Song) to satiate my 90s needs.

gotta million wedding photos to go through but just for a taste

http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/267880_10150324833360590_545080589_9836112_5501819_n.jpg

I love this picture

I wish there were more royal wedding photos like this. <3

i could probably do a spotify playlist of my wedding ceremony music if i wasnt too stupid to understand how to use spotify huh

you could probably just send spotify fiend dan the list

Lol it is true, I am a fiend

Had two weddings and neither had music and dancing. One was in Vegas with a reception at Carluccio's, it was a cute restaurant but no place for dancing, no music allowed. The other was at a wedding venue in Austin but only allowed music and dancing for outdoor receptions, had an indoor reception. I had always wanted mariachi's to play a short set then have a playlist. After two divorces I believe music and dancing usher in good luck. Couples I know who had both are still married and going strong.

2 sets of friends getting married in the fall so i get to relive a bunch of this stuff from an afar/advisory capacity. this just in: wedding industry assholery has not improved in the last year.

shocker!

ps: should we talk offline about the Aug 24 wedding I will be in town for and possibilities of hanging out that weekend/the following week?

no

i joke, fuck yes we should! is it anyone i know getting married?

no, it's a dude I sang with in college who wasn't at my wedding (two of his groomsmen were at my wedding though; dunno if you remember L4rry, the loud Vietnamese dude from Houston? He was a groomsman, and his partner Br3nt sang in the chorus).

logistics are likely to be... INTERESTING because my parents are threatening to kidnap me talking about an extended midweek boating trip

btw, thanks for being married, John, so it wasn't a total sausage party last weekend when we got drinks. enjoyed meeting your lady.