Thundercrack!

http://www.alcofribas.org/get/myspace/thundercrack1.jpg

"gorillas are different from little children, they ... have more ... hair."

http://asset.soup.io/asset/0613/7635_15cd_533.jpeg

you can watch this on youtube

used to be part of the scala cinema in london's 'classic' rep along w. pink flamingos, fritz the cat, pink narcissus etc - the print was virtually see-through

never seen it before. just downloaded it (two and a half hour version), and am watching it for the first time. amazing.

"wait, wasn't there a fire? wasn't your wife killed in a fire?"

"you're very observant, tom. is that where you got your good-lookin' body? from chasin' fire engines down the street?"

"bond, i uh... i find you very attractive. so attractive that i want to throw you out of this car!"

(i guess his name is bond, not tom.)

"who is it that speaks to me with the voice of a woman?"

"you wanna know how she died, stupid fool? she got it at a garden party one afternoon. she took her girdle off and she held a match to it as a sign of her liberation. but what she didn't know was that the girdle was flammable and would blow up in her goddamn face! it blew up right in her face, and her head was covered in flaming liquid rubber! everyone at the garden party started screaming. and then they threw their drinks on her to douse out the flames. only they'd forgotten how much alcohol they were drinking..."

"everyone is welcome at prarie blossom!"

"what about the potatoes?"

"here they are. two lumpy ten-pound bags."

"you're very cruel! i should go away... but i can't."

"why not?"

"because i would fall into the oven like the witch in hansel and gretel. that would leave you alone in the kitchen to eat all the cookies and peppermint sticks."

"and what would be wrong with that?"

"you would get sick! and no one would be around to give you an enema."

"my son was big for his age. he was to be doomed with bigness."

"too much talk in this kitchen and not enough action. start cookin' me now, honey, before i go rotten."

"everything is a story here, but i don't mind, just so long as i can clearly see the road to my mission."

"and what road is that, chandler?"

"highway 135 to waco, texas. the road to that girdle factory with the giant neon lettering branding the texas sky, branding it with fiery red letters that spell 'house of phillips unlimited.'"

"why would you want to go back to that place after the terrible tragedy that happened to your ... w-wife, sarah lou phillips?"

"because i want to forget sarah lou phillips and her father, leland phillips, creator of the house of phillips unlimited, but how can i when they're still manufacturing those girdles by the tens of thousands?"

"hasn't the government put a stop to the production of those flammable things?"

"well, there's a movement in the courts now to halt production until the company chemists can take out the volatile element. but until that time, those giant wooden looms are still churning out those stretchable death traps."

"has leland phillips no heart? what of all the women who don't realize they're purchasing a potentially deadly weapon?"

"leland phillips is said to have a heart of gold, and it's true. but they fail to mention that he's also got lungs of silver, a stomach of copper and kidneys made out of tungsten."

"what can free you of this crippling disorder?"

"the destruction of the house of phillips unlimited. all it would take is a ... coca-cola bottle filled with gasoline."

"that's dr. pepper country down there."

"well, now that you've got that off your chest, and out of your buttocks, what next?"

"she turned that massive head toward me and bared those giant yellow teeth in a smile of affection. i screamed! i screamed so loud that every creature in the circus went wild in their cages. the maintenance men found me lying by the calliope ... calliope, trying to sing 'i love you truly'. medusa was lying there in the sleeping bag massaging her breasts. they said it took four, four, four men from the, the looney bin to ... carry me away."

"you were put under observation?"

"for a whole week. then i was set free and i went back to work. only this time, medusa was observing me. every second. and she made little lewd gestures with her toes. made my flesh crawl."

"so, why is she so dangerous, if she loves you that much?"

"her love was forcibly repressed by the bars of a cage. when she realized she wasn't getting anywhere with me, she ... tried making love to señor tostada, her trainer."

"the way that gorilla looked at me, i knew exactly what she was thinking while she was gyrating"

"aw, come on, willene. i had to get broken in sometime. this way if things don't work out with you, maybe something will click with your husband."

"the one thing that made his life worth living has been crushed by the weight of his own testicles."

What the

i have been unemployed for quite some time

A classic! Haven't seen it in eons but I do recall something like "these look refreshing" in innocent reference to just-fucked zucchini and/or cucumbers and/or squash.

I thought I had seen this, but it turns out I haven't. I should rectify this situation.

"What have you got against beatniks?"
"For one thing, their bongo drums..."

cucumber bit:

"may i have something to eat?"

"by all means! help yourself."

"this looks refreshing. oh! it’s a cucumber. are you in the habit of peeling your cucumbers in advance?"

"yes, it, ah, ages the flavor."

"it certainly does. boy, does this taste odd."

"eat up! you’ll soon acquire a taste for it. i’d like for you to. it would make for a much closer friendship between us."

"i’m afraid i can’t finish it. would you like to share it?"

"no. i’ve already had it, thank you."

"do you mind if i throw it away?"

"not at all, my dear. most things of that nature are disposable. please throw it in the bag under the sink."

"why mrs. hammond! you’ve got a whole pile of them in here."

"call me gert, willene. i feel that you’ve gotten to know me more intimately. yes, those cucumbers did not age properly enough to suit my hungry lips. so i had to get rid of them."

I thought I had seen this, but it turns out I haven't. I should rectify this situation.

― emil.y, Tuesday, January 25, 2011 6:43 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

it's pretty great. unfortunately, the only full-length copy i could find to download was ripped from an old VHS tape. half-decent picture, but the sound is terrible, very hard to make out the dialog. doesn't seem to be available on DVD, though there is an official site set up to sell it when it they get the details worked out.

omg! That cucumber dialogue is eternal! Gave me welcome laughs at work today. I really need to spend time with this film again. Thanx for the memories!

"do you mind if i throw it away?" We're not worthy! love you, curt! xoxoxo

Oh contenderizer, you should check out George Kuchar's moving but still typically Kuchardian Video Album #5, a video diary documenting Kuchar's final visits with Curt McDowell.

hey, yr welcome KBJ. and yeah, i love the exchange about the cucumber, great line after great line. will seek out video album #5, as i know next to nothing about kuchar + curt (other than that i love this film).

I just remember that this was long, amusing, and that I'd rather see a film by George Kuchar than one merely starring him.