Manchester

My friend lives in Didsbury and loves it, says there's loads to do, it's a big city but managable, claims people are a lot friendlier than in London. When I first visited I expected some grim Victorian monstrosity, but had a dead good time. So... eh. I'm sure there's some areas which are horrible, but you can't escape that.

here's a few thoughts + u can make of them what u will: the Times mag called it 'the new milan' in a front cover article 3 months ago, everything's within spitting distance of everything else, there is a free festival virtually every wknd. in summer, the whole 24 hr. license thing which means all the bars open late, de la soul's only uk gig this year was here 2 weeks ago, 'afficianado'; a free late weekly sunday clubnight at a bar in town, was '4th best club in the whole world'in the face last year, the house prices in even the 'trendy' bits is roughly a quarter of the prices darn sarf in an average area, think of all of that smithsneworderfactoryjoydivisionstonerosesmondaysoasisbuzzcocksdoves ...stuff that's just *in the air* all the time, to say nothing of the newer 'scene' of unabombers/mr.scruff/rae + christian/grand central etc. etc. there's loads of cool parks and the best art galleries, and dozens of ace cinemas/theatres. i mean i could go on.

the 'best' places are sometimes bang next to 'rough' places (cest la vie - it's a tiny town and good and bad sometimes bump) and this is why people who don't know the place have a shit time sometimes.

i could go on and on about the best places, but clubs: 'funkademia' 'fab bar' 'electric chair' 'keep it unreal' 'friends and family' (all in city centre)

bars : 'ponana' 'fat cat' 'zumbar' 'sand bar' 'revolution' (city branch, the 1st in the country all those yrs. ago)

places to live : chorlton (dead bohemian), the nice bits of whalley range, fallowfield (bit studenty), withington.

didsbury ? barge pole required. it's full of the rich and soul-less.

come to sunny manchetser ! it's great.

I'm not going back after being reminded of this.

... i would have time to explore its many art galleries, places of pop cultural interest and the UNICORN GROCERY which is apparently ALL VEGAN. but alas no!

Katie, the wonders of Unicorn are manifold. Cheap as chips, amazing variety, incredibly slow staff, and their Avocado Hummous is the tastiest green stuff ever.

As for Didsbury v Chorlton, Piscesboy's comments are dead on. Didsbury = vapid mc hollyoaks clones whose mummys and daddys pay for them to live like yp's all the way through uni. Orrible poshboys fucking around all drugged up and worldly. Tossers. Chorlton = the best delicatessens, a huge nature reseve near the Mersey, Chorlton Green, Battery Park Juice Bar, good bars, a Woolworths and more importnaly MY FLAT. Yay!

There's certainly a lot going on in Manchester, but Piscesboy: "the best art galleries": really? Compared to London? And I saw De La Soul the other week. In London. At a free festival.

Like Sheffield; if I go into town I think 'I'm glad I left, this place is an object-lesson in how not to do urban regeneration/ gentrification. And anyway, it's too hilly and it's *always* windy', but if I'm up by Weston Park or Broomhill on a sunny day I think 'this is the best place on god's green earth, especially the green; I could spend a fortune in Rare and Racy every day of the week *and* be out into the Peaks in an hour, wonder if I could get a job here?'.

God, I'm so northern.

*Not really; he's from Stockpot*. IME everyone from bits of Cheshire and Lancs within shouting distance claims to be 'from Manchester' and will only successively whittle this down to whatever satellite town and district they're actually from on repeated close questioning. *Not really, he's from Cheadle Hulme. This is another reason to like Manchester. Or hate it.

Although I have HAD ENOUGH OF EXPENSIVE BARS.

(Ans - anyone with a hint of sanity...)

I really don't get this 'sense of past glories' thing that people are referring too. I don't mget any sense of that at all - sure there are kids who look like Oasis - there are kids EVERYWHERE that look like that, you see them to a much lesser extent in London. There's a sense of city pride yes - which I don't see many kids having in London, perhaps in the garage scene or something. Maybe in London it's present in a "south london" "north london" way but as a whole... it's certainly not as bad as walking down Carnaby Street and having mods shoved in yr face every second. TOm says I should get offline now so BYE (ha ha I bet he stays online anyway and looks up pr0n)

Not sure about the sweeping generalisations aimed at Didsbury. None of the people I know who live there remotely meet Mr Jones and Gavin's descriptions. And it's got a cheese shop. Chorlton's slightly over-hyped and priced to match, but it's probably your best bet and if you're used to London prices you won't flinch.

Chorlton also boasts Kingbee, a second hand record shop which I greatly prefer to Vinyl Exchange. Piccadilly Records is marvellous, Beatin' Rhythm should fulfil your every soul-related need and the soon-to-be reopened Pelikan Neck is good for electronica. Can't say we boast the best art galleries but that's never been a priority of mine. We've got a pretty good "arthouse" cinema though.

Of course, that legendary Northern hospitality has its downside. "We like to share things" said the policeman who came to investigate after my flat was burgled a couple of years after I moved here. It's rough as hell sometimes, but what city isn't.

Seeing as no-one likes expensive bars, I'll recommend two pubs instead - the Peveril of the Peak in the city centre and The Beech in Chorlton.

Grim? Cheap shot. Spend a little time looking away from the obvious and you'll find a wealth of architectural treasures. Show me a city that doesn't relive past glories from time to time and I'll show you a city that hasn't got any past glories to relive. There's not really one single "scene" dominating at the moment, but that seems a pretty healthy state of affairs. "Madchester" was an exciting time but also a frequently bloody irritating one.

I've been here almost half my life and love it more every day.

And for yr poncey London stylings you only need to go to the NEU! REVAMPED! square with it's Muji and it's Wagamamas, now fetch me my Kensington High Street my good man. The Town Hall is also a beautiful building and beats Westminister into a cocked hat.

ALTHOUGH - I don't know anywhere in Manchester (the Trafford Centre doesn't count) which has DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION EUROMIX TWO!!!

I've gone right off Marple. Bollington is the future.

My parents have moved from the NORF now, so god knows when I will next be in the Manc neck of the woods..

I will always have a kitchen table for you to sleep on Starry.

I've lived in Manchester for just shy of 4 years now, and I'm happy most of the time. I've got a pretty clear list of what annoys me, and I only think about moving when those things happen a few times too often all at once. That would include:

a) Manchester city centre turning into Brannigans (eat! dance! cavort! drink alcopops from a brown paper bag! puke! get into cat fight in taxi rank!) out on the streets every weekend
b) not being able to get a taxi after 1-2 am
c) an antiquated bus system that can be infuriatingly rubbish, which you are forced to use because there's no other option (I don't do the tram anymore because of where I work...)
d) lack of nice chilled out places to have a small club or bars to hang out at on the weekends because the city centre is so concentrated - so you either get trendier-than-thou northern quarter places or have to contend with Canal Street, Portland Street or Oxford Road.

But there are also amazing things, esp. if you have a car to explore. The antique barn in Levenshulme is so cool if you're into collectables. Prestwich has great Jewish delis.

In the centre - great restaurants like the Koreana or the Armenian Tavern. Oh, and I love the German markets in Albert Square every Christmas too.

West Didsbury is much nicer than Dids proper - you've got the Gurkha Grill (ace Nepalese), crazy Wendy singing Elvis karaoke at the Thai-E Sarn and Hub, one of the best shops in town for gorgeous one-of-10-made clothes. It's leafy and quiet, but a lot of the properties are sooo tiny - and your money only goes slightly further than Didsbury Village. But a nice place to be.

Chorlton has lots going for it - the Barbakan deli, the Unicorn, Battery Park juice bar, lots of charity/junk shops, lots of buses into town, Safeway, lots of banks, Idaho (lovely tiny bar/restaurant across from the Chorlton baths), Kingbee Records. I don't go much for Beech Road these days (just try getting into one of the bars on a warm summer evening!) but it's nice to have it there. Prices are crazy if you're looking on or around Beech Road, but if you're creative and slightly flexible you can live nearby for much less, like we did.

pity afflecks is crap now.

And tell me more about Manchester. I miss that city so much.

yipyipyip. it's brilliant and very funny.

why did Graham say that? *scratches head*

That would make you pretty old then? Lived in a house right next to the West Coast Mainline, by the football fields. Some house, some place...

Levenshulme still isn't the nicest to put it mildly - have some very amusing (if scary) stories from there. Was great to walk to Maine Road from on a Saturday though, over Platt Fields.

My recollections of Levenshulme involve sleeping on someone's floor when I was um, "between houses", circa 1990. And chips in pitta, for some reason. I liked it more than Fallowfield.

Here are my incredibly cynical musings on the areas (I'll admit I get a bit confused where some areas end and others begin, meh).

Fallowfield - Home to the lovely people putting my record out, so I stay on floors and couches up there a lot. I simply can't stand the sheer amount of student cattle and the endless flyposters for either a)Stone Roses-based foam parties or b) Staggeringly atypical house nights which proudly list the DJ's names in huge letters despite not even their own mothers knowing who they are. This said, it's worth visiting for Trof, a superb cafe.

Rusholme - Ewwww. Ugly, depressing houses. It has the most unfortunate name in the world, if you're trying to get to Fallowfield or Withington on the bus you'll be stuck here for ages. Home of the lauded Curry mile, where the Asian community will gleefully overcharge drunk students for a tin of chopped tomatoes, acrid chilli, some out of date lamb and enough MSG to kill a Sarlac, before retiring to the kitchen to laugh their asses off with the chef about exactly how dumb the Future Stars Of Telesales are.

Withington - Equal parts Grim Northern and Leafy Lancashire. Plenty of knocking shops about, according to the residents. It's when you get here that you start getting proper pubs rather than the standard glass -fronted bars called esoteric things like "Imagibar" or "Fuc" which charge you three quid for tap beer they store in a pond full of human shit six miles away.

Gorton - One side of the main road is like a Mike Leigh adaptation of the Chavscum website. The other side is one of the nicest housing areas I've seen outside of "The Guardian's Cheadle Hulme".

Burnage - I refused to look at it much 'cause of the Gallagher connection. Seemed not quite so fookin' workin' class as the Brothers Chump would have us believe. Home of an incredibly crazy roundabout.

Didsbury - Bland. Can't remember a goddamn thing about it.

Wythenshawe - We have sussed this huge, huge place. Houses on the main roads are cool, if you are one of those people like me who'd rather wear a jumper knitted out of sleep-deprived cobras than talk to your neighbours. They're nicely set back, quite big for the price, especially if you find one of the ones previously inhabited by some poor old dear who's been shifted off to one of those prisons for old people with puse wallpaper and questionable medication policies. You're on the bus routes and near the motorway too, which is good.

If you get a house on one of the off-roads then you risk living next to one of those Jade-Goody-a-Dwarves who see nothing in wrong in calling their mud-encrusted 5 year old daughter a "fucking little bitch" in front of anyone stupid enough to be in the area. And despite the current fad, it seems that over 95% of those FUCKING ENGLAND FLAGS are being sold to the hapless knee-faced bonobomen who drive up and down the leafy streets in their rusty Escorts desperately looking for single mothers to recieve their poisonous, inbred seed.

For some reason it is nearly impossible to negotiate getting over the motorway between the Northern Moor and Wythenshawe no matter how many times you try it.

Moss Side - Not as bad as the 80's headlines, but still not the kind of place you'd take a group of 200 heavily armed Commandoes at night.

Whalley Range - Like a dark parody of what people think Moss Side is like. My friend who lived there couldn't get into his house a while back as a guy had had his face shot off on his doorstep.

Salford Keys - Absolutely marvellous, darling, if you like spending half a million quid of the money you've stolen from God working in fucking "media" on a pokey 3 room flat overlooking an industrial estate.

Hyde - Very cheap houses for some reason.

Ancoats/That end of town - More hipster twats on display every magazine put out ever. Good record shops. Possibly a connection between the two. It looks like a Joy Division bassline.

Piccadilly - Where the Chavs come to sit around and spit on the floor. Walk a little past the reams of rentboys and get yourself to the Crown and Anchor to peek a glimpse at Damon Gough, Mani and the guy who wrote the second (unused) verse of the Red Dwarf theme tune.

"Better get down, I'll see you soon.... down at The Palace, Levenshulme"

N, I didn't pull in The Cellar either (ever). Actually, the last time I was there, it was all "mopey mate stopping play on an otherwise excellent result of a Fresher's Ball". But hey, who cares? Bacvk in my time, Club Trop at the Academy held that reputation. Never went, it was all about The Bop for me (oh, those embarassing evenings).

I used to like To Amy With Love but then the TVOD msg board directed me towards Mr Amy's livejournal which made me laugh and laugh and laugh and then be repulsed and so I decided never to go again.

Ah, living:

1st yr: Owens Park (OP)
2nd yr: West Dids
3rd yr: Fallowfield, nr Trof and OP (ah, convenience)

I have a weird love-hatred for the place.

No really, didn't you read it? It became a huge joke with my mates for a while. An unstoppable spiel of spite, whining and assurances that he was by far the most important mogul in Manc (and we're talking about a night in the fuckin Retro Bar here!). I'd love to post a link but he's taken it offline. He came across as a pompous humourless unlikeable twit and lo, we headed to different clubs. Speaking of which, Manchester's clubscene is great at the moment - Homoelectric, Club Suicide, TVOD vs Chips and tons of lovely one-off things - not including the resoundingly awful Smirnoff experience thing the other week which Fannypack wisely cancelled.

Yours
Mr Lynskey's girlfriend

When it comes down to it I've barely met a single person involved in anything in Manc who doesn't think the world revolves around them. The Amy crowd are by far the least egocentric, most passionate and most eager to graft that I've met. But I suppose I'm talking from the perspective of having worked for him and with him on several projects and of having spent a lot of time with him socially rather than simply reading his LJ (if you haven't spotted my email address yet he happens to be my boss, my manager and also happens to be one of my dearest friends). But from what I've seen of Manc so far, the internet seems to be a place to swipe anonymously at anyone else involved in any other musical venture. The TVOD messageboard is frequently a disgrace, this shit that A La Mode went through a while back was bang out of line - really hurtful, personal insults posted anonymously that appeared *ooh* just after they booked Max Tundra. Go figure. And, Affectian, I hope your association with Music Is Better is nothing to do with this. I don't want to contribute to the cesspool of swipery the Manc scene, so let's just leave it.

That Smirnoff night was strange - we were distraught about the non-appearance of Fannypack and even more distraught about the bars closing ludicrously early. My friend was on last and had to play to a rapidly emptying dancefloor. I got stupid drunk on free vodka and probably made an unholy tit of myself.

As for the Smirnoff night, is it true that there were crowd barriers in case an overexcited crowd decided to bumrush the stage and rip the clothes off of Performance's tight taut bods?

Our next "do" (actually only the second one) is on 26th June (Saturday week), same place as before. Come along. It's free so you've no excuse.

When is it again by the way?

So that's June the 26th? 10 - 2 at the green room bar?

excellent

Unfortunately it's pork pie night that night

Pork pie night? What fresh hell is this?