Do you think marriage is a necessity?

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Well?

Do you worry about not getting married? Do you think your wedding day should be one of the best of your life?

Apologies if this question makes people think they should be getting married.

― Ronan, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

new answers

― Ronan, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am getting married in less than 2 weeks. I don't think it's a necessity, exactly, but I'm looking forward to it very much, cos I like parties. And my best mate makes very good speeches.

― Sam, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

haha I ask this q cos my bro got married on Saturday and my other brother was best man (I was usher, just for one day, though not in an mtv becoming way ba boom!). Anyway my brother made a great, though safe, joke in his speech, "I'd just like to assure the bride's family there's no question of any resentment at my brother marrying an English girl, in fact I've done some research and found lots of English people have been on our family tree, some of them even still hanging there"

Wedding humour=classic obviously because speechmaker has to play the game and not offend parents etc etc. The above example was a good risk that paid off.

― Ronan, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have unmarried friends who whine annoyingly about how no one should ever get married. curiously, my married friends are less interested in arguing that everyone live the way they do.

affirming your love for that special person in front of friends, family etc.: classic

expecting your wedding day to be the best day of your life: dud

― DV, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't worry about not getting married. What matters is the wuv, not the ceremony. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the inheritance rights and being each other's next of kin are kind of handy too.

― DV, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sept 14th is coming up closer than i think. I don't think its a necessity but it sure does feel good to spend the rest of your life with someone you truly adore and cherish...and they feel the same way.

― Chris, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nope, thought it was not for me. But then I did get married, so it just goes to show I'm flighty airhead who changes my mind way too much.

― Nicole, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

In response to Neds answer, do you worry about not falling in love?

― Ronan, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If I weren't in wuv I would worry about not falling in wuv. At least I always did worry when I ploughed myself a lonely furrow. so to speak.

― DV, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

no i don't think marriage is a necessity or worry about not getting married. i don't have any friends who are married except for those who are pulling a sham on the state so they can get a student allowance. my sister is married. i don't judge her for it, she and i just have very different lifetsyles.

― di, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i worry that i'm losing the ability to fall in love. currently most of my wedding thoughts center around how much easier it would be to buy a house with two people. not very romantic

― Ron, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't believe it's necessary but I fully understand why it's something people still want to do. Personally, I wouldn't do it unless there were likely to be children involved. I certainly do not believe my wedding (should it occur) will be the best day of my life. No-one needs that sort of expectation weighing on their shoulders. Plus that's like saying it's all downhill from there which is absolute rubbish.

― electric sound of jim, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nope I don't think getting married is all that its hyped up to be.Most of my friends live togehter for a while first so its just a legal issue after the wedding. I still think the right person will come along and we'll live happily ever after. At some point we can think about having the wedding to keep the family and friends happy.

― brg30, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

In these enlightened times that we live in, what is the point of marriage anyway? Isn't it an old bourgeois crux? For those in favor of the married life, did your parents have an enviable situation?

― Mary, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

did your parents have an enviable situation?

In the case of my parents, very much so. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've been at both ends of the spectrum: I furiously argued with a boy I was in love with in high school that I would never get married and solemnly bet him $1 million against my ever marrying. Later the idea of arranged marriages came to seem sensible because people appeared too egocentric and greedy. Now I just don't know ... marriage is beautiful but how could someone like me ever be good enough for it.

― martika, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

how could someone like me ever be good enough for it

Heavens, don't think like that, or rather, don't mistake the event for, as I noted, the wuv. Everyone deserves the latter. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"In the case of my parents, very much so. :-) "

That's not fair, Ned! You said you weren't bothered about marriage!

― Mary, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That I've said I don't worry about marriage doesn't mean I'm on the warpath against it. Also, my point is that my lack of concern about getting formally married doesn't derive from a fractured home life on my part. Seems to me that assuming that those who favor marriage come from utterly happy marriages while those who don't don't -- or alternately, that those who talk about happy marriages are covering up a fractured background and vice versa -- oversimplifies the situation. Look at Chris aka formerlypopsmcgee -- he's been very open about how his father made a mockery of the marriage he was in and made his home life and that of his mother's a living hell. And yet, he's getting married next month, and my best wishes to him for it! Call it a bourgeois crux if you want, but that's obviously something that is very important to him and to his fiancee. One can be very aware of the social situations and societal constructions that can create the state of marriage (take the sexist foundation in many Western wedding ceremonies themselves of the father of the bride 'giving away' the daughter to the groom, which presumes she has no free will of her own), and the problems that can arise out of it when a relationship (not the marriage, but the *relationship*) fails, and yet still wish to marry, to have a lovely wedding, etc. I don't see this wish as being a problem or necessarily something to be sneered at.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually I would be very surprised if there were any such thing as an "utterly happy marriage," seems about as likely as an utterly happy life... I'm just wondering if people who go into marriages do so with "eyes wide open" seeing how the divorce rate in the US is around 50% I think...

― Mary, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks Ned! He's right, I watched my father make a mockery of his marriage and it taught me something. I learned from his mistakes (even though he is yet to admit them). I remember when they got divorced I said to myself "I'm never getting married" and of course all these stats these days don't help the cause, but I think if you feel ready and willing to commit to someone the rest of your life, than all the power to ya! Go for it. Its a good feeling it is.

― Chris, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marriage is not a necessity. I am having a lovely (though imperfect) marriage and had a lovely (because imperfect) wedding, but I know many happy unmarried people, and I can imagine myself as one of them.

― Colin Meeder, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marriage isn't important to me but it obviously is to many people, especially religious ones. On the other hand, I reckon weddings are a cool custom: what with the costumes and the many roles for people to play and the food and alcohol and presents and dancing and photos. I love weddings.

― toraneko, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ten years pass...

ok dying at this: http://jezebel.com/10-types-of-men-that-women-definitely-do-not-want-to-ma-473051378

also the exchange in the comments

You know that last paragraph? That should have been the meat of the article. Your headline should have read something like "Why Marriage does not equal Happiness", or something to that effect. You could have discussed that in great detail. Hell, you could have won a Pulitzer writing about that.
Lindy West
Oh no!!!! My Pulitzer!!!!!!!!!!!

― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 02:25 (twelve years ago)

yeah, that was good. <3 lindy west

― I have many lovely lacy nightgowns (contenderizer), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 02:41 (twelve years ago)

Strange question in the thread title. I wonder what consequence of being unmarried would cause one to define acquiring a spouse as a "necessity"? The last I heard unmarried people can still accomplish all the actual necessary tasks of living, like breathing or eating. The benefits of marriage are, as far as I can see, something one may live without, if need be.

― Aimless, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 03:45 (twelve years ago)

i liked the bag of hair one. lindy west is funny.

― authentically inauthentic (Pat Finn), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 03:53 (twelve years ago)

all caps in suit of armor one is perfect.

― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 03:54 (twelve years ago)

and GREATHELM

― I have many lovely lacy nightgowns (contenderizer), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 04:41 (twelve years ago)

Yes, "greathelm" was the comedy word there.

― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 05:01 (twelve years ago)

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