people that hate(d) you for no reason at all

several years ago i was at an afternoon wedding in rhode island. after the ceremony, i was sitting at the bar with a friend when the father of the groom sat down next to him and told him "i don't like the way that guy looks." my friend looked at me and said "him?" "yeah, i want to kick his ass."

fighting the father of the groom (who was smaller, much drunker and 30 years older than me) is nagl, so i got up and wandered elsewhere. he later stormed out and drove off in the car that contained the couple's honeymoon luggage, and was ultimately tracked down at a bar by the best man.

never been back to ri.

good riddens

;_;

being drunk counts as a reason tho

not a reason to hate me as opposed to someone else tho

who can explain the inner workings of short drunk guys' minds?

There was a girl in my jr high – we would have been likely friends, as we both had the distinguishing characteristic "living a Beatles-obsessed life." Man, that girl just could not stand me. The only conversation I remember having with her was about whether jellyfish reproduced sexually or not – but something in that conversation set her the fuck off. She decided she was my enemy #1 at that point. I remember writing a letter to the editor about how the new city curfew was stupid – a point I knew for a fact was a 100% ideological match of her ideas. But a few days late this hilariously haughty rebuttal to my letter appeared in the newspaper about why "young Miss McCrack3n" was wrong on all counts and why the curfew was a fine rule indeed. It was baffling! She would never talk to me in person, but for the next six years I lived in town, every letter I wrote to the editor was met with a dark mirror, snide rebuttal! I started writing ore just to see if she would reply – I even wrote one about with something positive about her truest love, The Beatles, and she replied to slander their relevance to youth, and say they were a bad band! Anything to take me down. I realize now, as I type this, I may have had the nerdiest teen girl rivalry ever? Our friend circles overlapped a lot, though, and it did cause a lot of problems. "I would invite you, but, Rebecca said she would never be friends with me again if I did."

corrections: I guess she was libeling their relevance it youth, since it was a newspaper. Also I should make it clearer: Rebecca penned all the rebuttals. If she saw me in the hallway, she would do a 180. No idea still why the revulsion.

It's crazy how mean some girls could be in jr high/high school. Guys would fight and then move on but there were four year long running social battles between girls I knew in high school that I never fully understood.

From another thread

Was in VT/NH/ME the last couple days. It was very cold and I didn't see a single moose. Was out last night and some horrible old man out of nowhere looked straight at me and said "I want to stick a knife in your face and fucking kill you". It was the single creepiest thing that's ever happened to me and I'm really shaken up by it. Can't stop replaying it in my head. :(

― ENBB, Friday, January 7, 2011 7:09 PM (4 weeks ago) Bookmark

Guess that guy really hated me for no damn reason. I mean he was obv crazy but there was something about me I guess he really didn't like.

Abbbottt, I know... SHE WAS YOU!!!!

Or maybe I've been on the Black Swan thread too long.

i wouldn't assume that. he does sound crazy. you could have just been the first person he saw, when the crazy, irrational thought popped into his head.

(xp)

I think about that post from time time time, E, how fucked up that is and what a scary motherfucker he most have been.

perhaps abbbottt her mum was a jellyfish and had struggled with prejudice all her life

The weird thing is jellyfish reproduce both sexually & asexually, so we were both right, or wrong.

I knew a girl that saw a new kid at school for the first time, standing there, from a distance, and said "I don't like him he looks like he judges people"

I think about that post from time time time, E, how fucked up that is and what a scary motherfucker he most have been.

― http://www.wiltonandnoble.com/images/_lib/small-truffles-friends-cow-5008-225-1277740884000.jpg (Abbbottt), Friday, February 4, 2011 11:51 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

Yeah, it was awful. Every once in a while I will too and it freaks me the fuck out. I got really anxious and jumpy the other night after thinking about it.

hahaha omg at TST

That reminds me of a story that does not qualify..

I had parked up in a large carpark area, and had just got out of the car, a bloke is walking down the traffic aisle, and turns his head at 90degrees and shouts in my direction "you FUCKING!! Arsehole!". I stop. I obviously look confused, he immediately adds "Not You."

It seems he's having a domestic w/wife/girlfriend, 50 metres behind him.

I was on the shuttle bus at my college in 2004, and this girl, who I recognized from my ASL class, who had been very friendly to me in that class, said "asshole" seemingly directly at me as she walked by.

maybe I smelled? shrug

did she say it aloud or sign it

Everyone learned that sign from "Mr Holland's Opus" iirc.

hahaha, no she said it, very loudly.

I was only taking the ASL class to backfill an elective course so I could graduate with my Bachelor's. I showed up just enough to get a C.

I've always wanted to learn ASL.

The only thing I know how to say right now apart from a couple odd words is "I hope you die in a fiery car crash". Not very useful.

hahahaha! I was also taking German at the time, but that class I actually did well in. I've forgotten it all since.

we had to do skits frequently, we did a game show in German one week, and I recorded a four part a capella harmonized theme song for it. wish I still had it, a very proud moment that was!

Maybe she was just mispronouning ASL, San Te.

I used to play cards all the time at a friends house with this group of dudes. One of them was a real douchebag, wearing sunglasses and just an all around annoyance to play cards with...he took it all way too serious. So I needled him all day long (beer helped) and at one point he made some comment about how I was a dick, so i jumped over the tabled and cracked him in his eye. We are friends now.

kind of...he's still a douche to play cards with.

this guy in 2009 called me a douchebag to multiple people behind my back and assassinated my character simply because I was dating the girl he wanted (to fuck)

those are decent reasons tho

HE NEVER EVEN MET ME

That is like my husband hating Matthew Barney bcz he is another guy w/Boise roots who started dating Bjork.

The guy who was assigned to be my welcoming friend when I started at a new school. I guess he really resented that I was shy and took that as I didn't like him. So during the big welcoming lunch to the new students, I was left sitting alone. Then as a bonus he bullied me for 6 years.

smiths lyrics that most reminds me of this thread: "did i ever tell you by the way / i never did like your face."

i remember a kid telling me that he hated me in high school. he was drunk, but really serious about it. i never had anything to do with him in school and thought it was odd. but i kinda hated him too, so it made sense. i know for a fact that there were guys in my high school who hated me cuz i was a femme-y new wave guy who hung out with hot chicks. but i was also really big and had a million friends so they couldn't really do anything about it. there have always been a few people i've known all through my life who looked at me sideways a bit and who were always trying to figure out what my "game" was. they thought there was something fishy about me and they couldn't understood why other people liked me so much. those people didn't like me at all. and they were right too. i'm awful. and i would totally hate me if i wasn't me. but what are you gonna do. i'm stuck with me.

so i guess there HAVE been "reasons".

crazy people on the street don't really count. they are just looking for anyone to hate. though i guess some people do attract the crazy.

i actually do know someone who attracts negative confrontations with people and she doesn't have to do anything at all. it just happens. her aura or something? it's uncanny.

I've always managed to shrug off such irrational hatred as just the misguided whim of an obviously pitiful person.

whenever a rando inexplicably explodes at me for some minor inconvenience I have caused them (taking a parking spot they think they 'saw first' or w/e) I try to make myself shrug it off and go "eh, they're probably having a bad day, just looking for a low-stakes situation in which to blow off some steam", because you can drive yrself crazy going "what is it about ME that set them off???"; but it's harder when it's people you know/casual acquaintances within your circle/etc

I had someone call me a jerk once for what I did to her "friend". She never named the friend, I didn't know her, and when I asked "ok so what did I do" her reply was "you know what you did, I shouldn't need to tell you".

Never heard from again

I love that. It's like a minor Kafka piece.

story involving two ppl I know, relayed to me by a third party: girl walks up to guy at party, somewhat drunk, says "everyone thinks you're sooooo perfect, but you don't fool me... I'm onto you!!". third party, relaying story to me, assures me it must have been a case of mistaken identity, because "she seemed really mad, and I can't imagine why anyone would be mad at that guy, he's like the nicest person I know!"

This thread makes me want to hang out with scott seward!

I was standing out the front of our house when I was a kid and an old man drove by in a beat up car, stuck his head out the window, screwed up his face and stuck his tongue out at me. It has bothered me my whole life.

Aside from the immaturity of grade school where everyone loathed everyone because of hormones and such, I've never met anyone who has actively disliked me. I also think the whole ghetto logic mentality of "you're successful because people hate you" is a load of bullshit. There are some successful people that are truly hard to hate because they have charisma.

I once got a letter to the editor (aka me) that was the most backhanded compliment ever. It began, "I've quietly loathed your writing for years," but then went on to say he liked something I'd just written. I wrote back and told him quiet loathing was my favorite kind. Weird to think there are people you don't know out there hating you, but really I'd prefer to continue not knowing. (And I guess since it was related to my writing, there must have been some reason for it, but he didn't go into specifics.)

I was once told that I have "the kind of face you just want to punch."

there is someone who was peripherally related to a group of my friends, the overlap being a friend of hers dated a friend of mine. anyway her name is lauren, and one of my friends made the mistake of making some vague dismissal of young adult fiction (she's a young adult author) and also made the subsequent error of calling her "laurel", which really set her off. another friend mixed her up with someone else she was friends with, and she went apeshit on him. i never had anything negative to say about her, but the last time i saw her she gave my wife and i the evil eye at a party, which i guess was because my friend dissed YA fiction, messed up her name, and also accidentally destroyed a birthday cake she made for someone by putting his elbow in it. that's another story. i know why she hates him, i guess she just dislikes me by assocation.

The line Lou Reed deleted from his first draft.

"You're too viscous/Need to dust you with some flour..."

I went to an all girls school and towards the end of my freshman year 7th grade my friend broke up with me via a letter she'd put in my locker passed to me in the middle of social studies class (Latin America unit!) and without explanation. It was awful.
I also had to read this note to the entire class during MRS CHUNN'S MUSIC CLASS. (hope you google yourself mrs chunn) and then I thought I was probably going to die of shame. This was a big "thing" between my mom and my best friend's mom and I was eventually given an official forced apology. Things were never even remotely the same in my class, though.
This was the same year I had my locker searched because a nun thought I was on drugs (I wasn't, just a spaz) I cried for weeks on end about this, but then I transferred at the end of the year to a school where I didn't know anyone. Oh memories.

haha i just googled mrs chunn; sad there was no pic

We're all viscous to start with.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, February 7, 2011 10:30 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is kinda true though

She looked a little like Kathie Lee and I still can't believe she sent me up there pouring tears like a faucet and made me read a note that said "No one likes you."
I think her first name was Susan.

Maybe Diane? Elaine? I can't remember her first name, but I think she must have hated me for no reason to make me do that.

actually pre-teen girls are worse

I remember my class of fifth graders were a particular breed of evil. we ganged up on our teacher and made her cry. and then we threw her a party with like a lawn bag full of confetti. and then left it all for her to clean up (EXCEPT FOR ME: I STAYED BEHIND AND HELPED VACUUM--I COULD NEVER BE TRULY EVIL)

That is a horrible story about having to read that note. You would think that a teacher with a heart would maybe sense where the tone of the note is going and have a little sympathy and stop you. o_O at that whole thing

i like that confetti trick a lot, even if i was the victim i would be filled with admiration at the cunningness of it..

mrs chunn would have got a t tacked onto the end of her name if she carried on like that at my school.

I found a picture that I think is her, but I think it was enough to post her name. I should probably let this go at some point.
About 4 years after the incident, I made up with the friend. I guess today I try to forgive Mrs. Chunn.

Sorry, Mrs Chunt

Making a good start on that forgiveness, I see.

never_forget.jpg

one time in middle school my good friends V and Y and I were hanging out after class. We'd all been kickin' it and maybe were a little high or something, but basically it was good friendly time. My kid sister shows up, and V. just out of the blue starts railing on what an asshole I am. at first I think it's a joke or something – so does my sister – and then Y joins in, and they basically spend the next forty-five minutes dismantling my character, hobbies, appearance, whatever, piece by piece. for whatever reason (i'm 13, probably) i don't realize i can leave, until finally V. says to my sister 'you basically got the worst luck in your brother -- at least you're both adopted, so his DNA won't rub off on you' and Y laughs, and they tell me that i better leave or they'll kick my ass. i'm all "haha, that's so funny" until V throws a punch at my face and my little sister drags my hyperventilating ass back home. i'd been moderately popular until that point, but when i came to school the next morning i became the social pariah for the rest of year while V and Y became super popular. never ever ever knew what happened, or why V and Y turned on me, because i hadn't done/said/thought anything remotely bad until that afternoon.

please excuse my terrible writing, i just went through a mini panic attack reliving that

wow that is some bullshit

shit, I had a mini panic attack just reading it

yeah! i didn't realize until like six months later what had happened –– one day i was like 'wow, everything started sucking ass immediately after V & Y turned on me'

good lord, that's horrible

at my last job initially everyone thought i was a super wanker but i won them over w my sparkling personality

It never ceases to amaze me how the word of just one or two other people can completely destroy a kid's reputation at that age. One duo of popular kids singled out my best friend in 7th grade for no particular reason and decided to spread the rumor that he spent the night at one of their houses and pissed his sleeping bag. I was amazed at how many kids ate it right up, never stopping to think that there was no way they'd ever be hanging out in the first place.

it's kind of the privilege of the ones who do the bullying at that age to grow up and "get over it" and maybe even forget they ever did it.

this happens to me a lot, making me think I am only likeable for ~5 years:

5th grade girls, I had confided in them that my parents smoke pot.. a few months later, they (we were in a club we called ADVZAHSAST because those were our initials) knocked me from the group and I had to dodge them at recess because whenever I was in earshot they'd say to each other "Her Dad smokes what?" "Marijuana!" Fuck those girls. I googled one a month back to see if I could find her to glare at her from the comfort of my computer.

My revenge: I would sit in those samn grade 5 classes with a notebook and pen, look at them, giggle to myself, and write down what they were wearing (their reactions indicated I correctly guessed they'd think I was writing much worse things)

Was excited to meet my first Real High School Boyfriend, my friend was at college so we'd go to parties there, make out on his car, all that. He was really into Blur, as I was, so it felt like It Would Last. Except he High Fidelity'd me by dumping me for my best friend (he told me he liked Asians, I should've kept her far..) *and then* he told my best friend not to hang out with me anymore, and she was okay with it! Then they awkwardly both showed up while I was painting my bedroom on some lame Saturday night and made me go to the coffee shop with them while they told me that it was okay he'd dumped me for her and that she didn't hang around me anymore, and I shouldn't blame them? wtf. I felt kidnapped.

My revenge: she married him! (High Fidelity: Kissed me, kissed Kevin, married Kevin..) and I got to sleep around for 10 years and eventually marry the best man ever. In retrospect, he was a bit of a tool anyway, and she bugs me just to think about.

A week before my wedding I found out that the girlfriend of an ex-roommate blocked me on FB because I hadn't invited her to my bachelorette. Because it's not fifth grade anymore, I texted her and was met with a flurry of excuses about how her life is so hard and why wouldn't I think of her during this time and I thought we were such grate friends(?? she had previously deleted and re-added me on FB, she is nuts). Revenge: slept with her boyfriend long before she met him, and I think this is why she was so crazy with me. As a matter of fact, sleeping with that dude was good revenge for both of his crazy girlfriends that I had to deal with while he lived with me.. the other smashed up a bookshelf full of vases and whatnot. 0_o

I like this thread, even if it does reveal one common denominator ;_;

oh the FB blocker also made her boyfriend (my ex roomie and good friend!) delete me on FB so I emailed him pictures of her making out with a drag queen at a mutual friend's bachelorette. She's such a bitch but I still feel a little shitty about that one. 0:)

It never ceases to amaze me how the word of just one or two other people can completely destroy a kid's reputation at that age. One duo of popular kids singled out my best friend in 7th grade for no particular reason and decided to spread the rumor that he spent the night at one of their houses and pissed his sleeping bag. I was amazed at how many kids ate it right up

― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, February 7, 2011 5:35 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the piss?

Yeah, I've got one of these... people that hate(d) me for no reason at all ... no hold on, there's two of them now I come to think of it! With one of them, I don't know who it is because they've put stuff online anonymously... why they would do it, I have no idea. The other one is in some ways even more perplexing because it's a guy I met once or twice, in a (sort of) professional capacity, YEARS ago... I'm talking decades here! Nonetheless he seemed to develop some sort of weird grudge against me which he carried on for years and he never failed to stick the boot when he could. Thankfully it's all been quiet for the last few years so I assume he's got himself some kind of life in the interim period.

There is never "no reason at all" when someone hates you.

I suppose, no obvious or apparent reason

The reason can be entirely in their mind.

In my examples given, the dominant reason was that *they* sucked. imo. ;) but it taught me valuable(?) revenge skills!

I'm sure there are people who think I hate them for no good reason, but the truth is just that I'm a snob.

Yeah, conversely, sometimes when people hate you for "no apparent reason," the reason could simply be that you're a hateable person, or else are perceived as one.

;_;

no one hates me except my students but i know why they hate me and it's for their own damn good

the reason could simply be that you're a hateable person, or else are perceived as one.

Apparently!

i tend to be more a person who hates for "no reason at all" (which is really just some sort of inchoate intuition that someone is no good, and often has turned out to be correct) than vice-versa, though i have also been hated-on for no reason either. this personality trait went dormant during and immediately after college, but then i went to law school and went to work w/ lawyers and my spidey-senses returned stronger than ever lol.

inchoate intuition that someone is no good

Yeah, I like to believe that my own hating-for-no-reason is pure and reasonable because it is based on a sensed... haughtiness or glibness that leads me to suspect they don't care enough abt other people not to fuck them over? Whereas I like to assume that people who hate me for "no reason" are doing so because I am a big dork: graceless, badly-dressed, not cool enough.

Then sometimes I remember that they might actually dislike me because my shyness comes off as aloofness, i.e. haughtiness occasionally overcompensated for by bouts of glibness. In other words I am the people I hate for no reason, except less well-dressed. So I try not to think about that, obviously.

(which is not to say that there aren't people who I've taken against immediately who did turn out to be bad news, or that Eisbaer doesn't have a better intuition success rate than I do, or that my post is really anything to do with his)

My stepmother pretty much loathes me, always has, and for really no good reason. Her two kids -- who were adopted, thereby avoiding their crazy mother's genetics -- even commented a couple of times their incomprehension as to why she hates me.

It would bother me more if she wasn't so damn insane. She told my dad once that if he ever divorced her she'd kill herself and try to frame it to make it look like he killed her. INSANE. Before high school started for me, I tried living with her and my dad one summer; that was an awkward three months. One morning, late in the summer, I forgot to put a just-used bowl in the dishwasher (left it in the sink). She confronted me, screaming at me that I was "out to get her" and she wasn't going to let that happen. INSANE. Confused and shaken, I decided then and there that living with my mother and stepfather was a better option, lol.

I keep my distance to this day, though that means I don't get to see my father very often (who I'm close to). :(

well, "often" doesn't mean "always" (i dunno if it even means "mostly" since i don't keep running tabs on this sort of thing). at least two of my best IRL friends are people who didn't pass my initial sniff test. and most of the folks who have screwed me over the worst (or tried to) were people who i originally thought were OK. "trust but verify" is a better way to state my current credo.

but let's just say that a sufficient number of people who set off any inchoate intuitions about their badness have turned out to really be bad news.

I might be paranoid but any chance of deindexing this one? Realizing the acronym I used upthread could possibly lead people to me. Not a lot, but I just used it on FB and thought "oh shit!"

This is the only google search result for "ADVZAHSAST".

now they can find it even easier! two refernces

the only instance of this I can remember was a girl in band with me in junior high with whom I would have screaming arguments over nothing during rehearsals; this lasted for about a year and a half until at one point in eighth grade I stopped mid-tirade and said, "okay seriously, why exactly do we hate each other?" and she said, "um... I don't know?" and then we were band friends and on good terms through the rest of junior high and high school

in summation, teenagers are crazy

in summation also Luke?han love/hate sexula tension with TUba and glockenspeil

how's life: exactly. But it exists in a few people's heads, and I'd prefer those people to not find me on this board. Thanks?

I used subterfuge when referencing it on FB by switching a couple letters around, but yeah. I worked for investigators for 7 years; I'm big on privacy.

deindexed

thank you R :)

also I overlooked DJP's story, that's classic. Whenever I confront people who hate me it gets worse :D