When you get home, peruse the results of
this Google search. There was a story about
hazing at high school football camps on Dateline that seemed to
delight in repeating over and over that this poor freshman was
teabagged by the entire team as an initiation. I never thought I'd
see a Dateline story about teabagging, but life's a funny old thing.
― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)
five years pass...
Background: 23, good degree from prestigious uni, dream job. Virgin, never been kissed, never had a girlfriend.
I can't cope anymore with lovely girls telling me every single day that they can't believe I'm still single despite the fact they'd never be interested themselves.
I can't cope anymore with being a well-known socialite but leaving every party alone whilst everyone else is hooked up.
I can't cope anymore with people asking how many people I've pulled and slept with. The truth: 0 and 0.
I can't cope anymore with male friends going on about the random pulls they got on nights out and which girls are chasing them.
I can't cope anymore with female friends going on about which guys like them, how they don't really fancy someone but would pull them anyway, but would never pull me.
I can't cope anymore with female friends going on about how all men are bastards, how much they've been hurt by guys and how they want someone like me, yet for whatever reason would never actually go out with me.
I can't cope anymore with the most drunk of girls in clubs quickly turning their cheek if I try to kiss them having been grinding with them all night.
I can't cope anymore with taking newly met girls out dancing, buying all their drinks for some guy to just walk in and pull them.
I can't cope anymore with crying myself to sleep every night that despite everything I have achieved in academic, careerist and monetary terms, I cannot achieve the most basic thing in human life - love, copulating, finding a partner.
I can't cope anymore with thinking that I've gone through high school, university and a graduate scheme and have missed out on one of the important things that everyone looks back on, and not through choice.
I can't cope with living anymore, to wrap that up.
There's no point in going on.
I'm too scared to jump out of the top of my building or take an overdose of pills on the off-chance I don't kill myself and just get badly hurt, hospitalized and embarrassed for life.
I need a gun. If I had a loaded gun in my hand right now I would without any hesitation shoot myself and end it all now. I don't know where to get one. I'm based in London. I read in the newspaper last week (David Cameron's 'Hug a Hoody' thug) that all the inner city gangs have easy access to them, how do I approach them to get one?
― and what, Saturday, 29 December 2007 04:45 (seventeen years ago)