"Graham, are you in love with someone off Eastenders?"

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I <3 <3 <3 my new adopted cousin.

Graham, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

She's 7.

Graham, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Paging R. Kelly...

Dan Perry, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

What does <3 mean? I can't work it out.

jel --, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

<3

= Heart??

David, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

or maybe Graham just lobbed 3 ice cream cones at the poor little girl

David, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah! d'oh! But I like the ice cream idea better! Mine's got a flake in it <3-

jel --, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

only one? <3=

MarkH, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

<3~ curly wurly!

jel --, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

<3{£• = super wasabi-sundae w.cherry

mark s, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

STOP ABUSING THE TEABAG EMOTICON.

Dan Perry, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I see love and teabagging as some kind of continuum.

N., Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Shuch, creep.

I must point out that I'd only just walked into the room to watch it when she asked me this.

giggle

Graham, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

What is the etiquette on being on love with 7 year old girls, anyway?

N., Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it is AGAINST THA LAW-AH.

Pete, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

on love? You mean talking about it? I believe discussion topics may include kiss chase, bunnies, snogging, possibly hickies and that kind of thing. Teabagging would be off limits.

Graham, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Talking about hickies to a 7 year old??? Has the world changed or have I changed?

N., Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Has what hickies are changed or has Dastoor not changed one bit?

Graham, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Hickies = love bites?

Andrew L, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Well yes. Graham - you would talk to a seven year old girl about love bites?

N., Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know

Graham, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

what the hell is teabagging?

jel --, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

When you get home, peruse the results of this Google search. There was a story about hazing at high school football camps on Dateline that seemed to delight in repeating over and over that this poor freshman was teabagged by the entire team as an initiation. I never thought I'd see a Dateline story about teabagging, but life's a funny old thing.

Dan Perry, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

You willfully find these kinds of stories for your own amusement, don't you. PERVERT.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

If one can channel-surf willfully, then yes.

Dan Perry, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

(Thanks Dan)

jel --, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Sort of casts those first few posts in a different light, huh?

Dan Perry, Tuesday, 13 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

five years pass...

Background: 23, good degree from prestigious uni, dream job. Virgin, never been kissed, never had a girlfriend.

I can't cope anymore with lovely girls telling me every single day that they can't believe I'm still single despite the fact they'd never be interested themselves.

I can't cope anymore with being a well-known socialite but leaving every party alone whilst everyone else is hooked up.

I can't cope anymore with people asking how many people I've pulled and slept with. The truth: 0 and 0.

I can't cope anymore with male friends going on about the random pulls they got on nights out and which girls are chasing them.

I can't cope anymore with female friends going on about which guys like them, how they don't really fancy someone but would pull them anyway, but would never pull me.

I can't cope anymore with female friends going on about how all men are bastards, how much they've been hurt by guys and how they want someone like me, yet for whatever reason would never actually go out with me.

I can't cope anymore with the most drunk of girls in clubs quickly turning their cheek if I try to kiss them having been grinding with them all night.

I can't cope anymore with taking newly met girls out dancing, buying all their drinks for some guy to just walk in and pull them.

I can't cope anymore with crying myself to sleep every night that despite everything I have achieved in academic, careerist and monetary terms, I cannot achieve the most basic thing in human life - love, copulating, finding a partner.

I can't cope anymore with thinking that I've gone through high school, university and a graduate scheme and have missed out on one of the important things that everyone looks back on, and not through choice.

I can't cope with living anymore, to wrap that up.

There's no point in going on.

I'm too scared to jump out of the top of my building or take an overdose of pills on the off-chance I don't kill myself and just get badly hurt, hospitalized and embarrassed for life.

I need a gun. If I had a loaded gun in my hand right now I would without any hesitation shoot myself and end it all now. I don't know where to get one. I'm based in London. I read in the newspaper last week (David Cameron's 'Hug a Hoody' thug) that all the inner city gangs have easy access to them, how do I approach them to get one?

and what, Saturday, 29 December 2007 04:45 (seventeen years ago)

Call them racist names

robertwolf8080, Saturday, 29 December 2007 05:48 (seventeen years ago)

you don't need a gun
and
love is not the most basic thing in human life

emsk, Saturday, 29 December 2007 14:51 (seventeen years ago)

This is like emo Rudyard Kipling. Keep going, this is good material...

JTS, Saturday, 29 December 2007 23:19 (seventeen years ago)

no, emsk, love is the most basic thing in human life.

elan, Saturday, 29 December 2007 23:32 (seventeen years ago)

totally unnecessary for life, essential in life.

elan, Saturday, 29 December 2007 23:32 (seventeen years ago)

paging Dr. Maslow...

snoball, Saturday, 29 December 2007 23:37 (seventeen years ago)


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