A poll about cooking disgusting food

disgusting. at least with mediocre food you can get your calories/nutrients.

i take the passive-aggressive approach: i keep the mediocre food, lying to myself that i'm gonna eat it but then whoops aw man it's been in the fridge 2 weeks GOTTA throw it out, darn.

In the first scenario, are you then ordering a pizza and relaxing and letting your preteen daughters good-naturedly razz you for your incompetence in the kitchen?

keep the mediocre food, lying to myself that i'm gonna eat it but then whoops aw man it's been in the fridge 2 weeks GOTTA throw it out, darn.

Haha, I think this is my girlfriend's approach as well.

lol jaymc

disgusting
not only am i still hungry, but i have wasted a bunch of exotic ingredients

i have made multiple thai curries that were just plain inedible and i invested a lot of time/food/money in trying them out and having all of the necessary parts, etc. just sucks. everyone's cooking is mediocre some of the time. if you blew minds every day, there would be little mind left to blow when it mattered. or at least that's what i tell myself.

worst is cooking way too much of something just passable enough for you to pretend you'll eat it later, only to let it putrefy in tupperware until it is growing fur & ammonia crystals w/ a gathering effluvium of reek in the back of yr fridge.

xpost true! also you can throw some sriracha on average food + bam its ok

xp 'gathering effluvium of reek' is the name of my metal band

keep the mediocre food, lying to myself that i'm gonna eat it but then whoops aw man it's been in the fridge 2 weeks GOTTA throw it out, darn.

Haha, I think this is my girlfriend's approach as well.

― Tyler/Perry's "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" (jaymc), Wednesday, February 9, 2011 3:57 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

so this, then.

most recent examples of both from my experience:

disgusting: a new moroccan stew recipe (don't even know why I was making this, we have a really good moroccan stew recipe already) that had tons of spices, including a LOT of pepper, that ended up so spicy (not hot spicy, but just overwhelming clashes of the various spices) that we couldn't eat it

mediocre: baked tofu with a ginger/garlic sauce. my wife found the recipe and suggested we make it, which seemed odd because she is not big on tofu, but i said ok. of course she ate like three bites and said she'd had enough. the sauce was ok but didn't flavor the tofu at all so it was just bland hot tofu with an ok sauce. also it had corn starch in the sauce so it was unappealingly gelatinous. i got really hungry the next day and ended up eating most of the leftovers and then feeling gross.

xpost true! also you can throw some sriracha on average food + bam its ok

word, you can always add spices/salt/hot sauce. unless you're talking about baked goods, i guess.

xp^^ the passing of time handily 'forced' us not to eat any of the meatloaf recipe my fiance substituted in with freezer-burnt ground turkey instead of beef! SHUCKS.

brb, putting Tabasco on terrible cupcakes

Yeah, mediocre is at least salvageable as already noted.

Mediocre is worse. I'm happy to laugh about a culinary adventure so disastrous that it was irretrievable. Eating mediocre food is such a miserable experience.

brb, putting Tabasco on terrible cupcakes

There is only one dr. strongo

Eating mediocre food is such a miserable experience.

Good lord, it ain't the end of the world.

a new moroccan stew recipe (don't even know why I was making this, we have a really good moroccan stew recipe already) that had tons of spices, including a LOT of pepper, that ended up so spicy (not hot spicy, but just overwhelming clashes of the various spices) that we couldn't eat it

could you have added more water/everything else to balance out the spice ratio?

i've got lamb biryani still sitting in the fridge in the crock pot i made it in. was ruined by me using brown basmati instead of white (actually, gonna blame my roommate here. always gets oddball stuff cause "hey look, brown basmati i've never bought that before!!", y'know?). the rice NEVER got cooked (i stayed up til 2am hoping it would) and by the time it was underooked-yet-edible, that lamb was super overcooked.

No of course not! But I can get more joy out of (my own) disasters.

(xp to Ned)

worst thing is i tasted some of the lamb when it was perfectly done and it was really tasty, i was looking forward to having plates and plates of it.

could you have added more water/everything else to balance out the spice ratio?

― bows don't kill people, arrows do (Jordan), Wednesday, February 9, 2011 3:09 PM (1 minute ago)

maybe? i'm not a very improvisatory cook, i mainly stick to recipes and am not good at quick fixes like that. i think we were just grossed out and disheartened and wanted to give up on it.

always eat it. always. you'll learn from your experiences.

Chocolate fish, LJ. Chocolate fish.

i'm the same way, but my gf is the opposite, never uses a recipe. every now and then this has resulted in soups of gigantic proportions, via overspicing (although usually too much spice = maybe just enough).

Lots of soup is great -- divide it out, freeze it, set for those days when you just want to heat up something and eat it.

I make soup nearly every Sunday and do that for meal throughout the rest of the week.

a new moroccan stew recipe (don't even know why I was making this, we have a really good moroccan stew recipe already) that had tons of spices, including a LOT of pepper, that ended up so spicy (not hot spicy, but just overwhelming clashes of the various spices) that we couldn't eat it

could you have added more water/everything else to balance out the spice ratio?

instead of water, make a cream sauce or add plain yogurt. milk helps neutralize spices.

I'm still back on someone making a horrible cake and being all "... maybe if we put some thyme on it, it will help"

I might have a weekend project beyond memorizing spirituals

Chocolate CHEESE fish iirc

Gotta say the mediocre food is worse for me. It's just dispiriting. With the occasional ott failure, I can say "yeah that's an ingredient I need to leave to the pros." (best-worst example, octopus)

man see this is a thing where if the food is bad/mediocre after i've followed the recipe explicitly, i just do whatever i can to make it better. generally speaking if yr food is mediocre, adding lime/lemon/vinegar is probably a safe bet. acid is something that most ppl (in my observations) just don't add to their food like ever

xp otm, w/r/t failure: some shit is just next-level. but mediocre food is almost always salvageable!

I have to vote failure as worse, if only in memory of my dad's sad attempt at making roast goose stuffed with prunes for one very sad Christmas dinner

That...that just is wrong.

this thread = why i don't cook

don't blame the thread, you were already a bad cook

There is nothing that depresses me more in the whole world than a meal I've cooked failing horribly, especially when the ingredients were pricey/specially bought. I pride myself on being a good cook so failures just make ME feel like a failure.

But that said I dont follow recipes, so I like being cavalier and experimenting anyway. Not Tep-level "oh hey, smoked bananas!" crazy, but I like to have fun.

my failures are never disgusting, merely incredibly bland

i am by no means an adventurous cook tho

La Lechera needs to come talk to the group about octopus. It's one of her homemade staples for meals and snacks.

ha that makes it sound like she breeds them specially in her bathtub

LOL

You rang?

I love octopus and squid, and have found that it's pretty easy to cook -- squid in particular. Especially the squid I breed in my bathtub.

Argh baby octopi. I love seafood and i dont squick easy but I find it hard to get past the eating of those weeeny little suction-cupped leggies.

(I love calamari tho)

At least I don't make uighur salad like some people I know.

I mean, that is just gross.

trayce do u eat kangaroo

For some reason, I was really craving Triscuits the other day.

i go crazy for triscuits, they're so like bountiful and flaky and wheaty and salty and delicious

T/S: Triscuits or Wheat Thins? (which I always type as "Wheat Things")

i have been meaning to start that poll. do it.

Triscuits are amazing. So much better than Wheat Thins.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Triscuits have zero flavor and an unappleaing texture. Taste like something people ate before they figured things out.

are you from 1964? have you never heard of
SUNDRIED TOMATO TRISCUITS?
ROASTED GARLIC TRISCUITS?
ROSEMARY AND OLIVE OIL TRISCUITS?
GARDEN HERB TRISCUITS?

even regular triscuits have a subtle, refined, adult flavor

n/a otm

Triscuits: It's all about Cracked Black Pepper & Olive Oil, bitches

(sorry does not put these delicious Triscuit crackers in my mouth, Carl)

yeah i really should know about all the newer flavors of something i abhor, my bad. they have all those flavors for wheat thins, too, which starts with a non-cardboard texture and taste.

I tell you the one thing I am going to eat when I get to the US - Saltines. I want Saltines.

you make me laugh ... talk to me when you learn to appreciate a grown man's cracker, not a little boy's "wheat thin"

xpost

seriously only thought Triscuits were eaten by people with masochistic food neurotics, this has been enlightening.
if you like Saltines, think you should try Triscuits!

"billy, you ever had a grown's man cracker?"

i like the name triscuits because it implies that the bi in biscuit is a signifier of numerical function

while biscuits can only offer two scuits per serving, we offer three

Three dimensions of lack of flavour

prob because it is xps

biscuit comes from latin for twice cooked iirc

triskets - good for stackin' stuff on top
wheat thins- good for dippin' into crap

chicken in a fuckin biscuit

chicken stuffed w/chicken-in-a-biscuits then wrapped within an enormous biscuit

are you from 1964? have you never heard of
SUNDRIED TOMATO TRISCUITS?
ROASTED GARLIC TRISCUITS?
ROSEMARY AND OLIVE OIL TRISCUITS?
GARDEN HERB TRISCUITS?

Tbh, pretty much the only places I shop are Trader Joe's and a local produce/ethnic market, so whenever I do set foot in a trad supermarket, I always boggle at the extent to which soft drinks and snack products have diversified. Obv. there have always been different flavors of potato chips or whatever, but I feel like there's been an explosion within the last 10 years or so.

Looking forward to food scientists to develop the Quadriscuit.

I had to quit CIAB back in the nineties. I'd finish a box in one sitting.

quadscuits? quintscuits? hexscuits?

chicken stuffed w/chicken-in-a-biscuits then wrapped within an enormous biscuit

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, February 10, 2011 4:47 PM (15 seconds ago) Bookmark

chicken-in-a-biscuit in chicken in a biscuit

Tbh, pretty much the only places I shop are Trader Joe's and a local produce/ethnic market, so whenever I do set foot in a trad supermarket, I always boggle at the extent to which soft drinks and snack products have diversified. Obv. there have always been different flavors of potato chips or whatever, but I feel like there's been an explosion within the last 10 years or so.

― Tyler/Perry's "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" (jaymc), Thursday, February 10, 2011 4:47 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

laaaa deeee daaaaa

i will say that driving down to NC in december, we stopped at a gas station that had like 12 varieties of pringles and that kind of blew my mind. i guess i'm fairly up to date on my crackers but a little behind in the times in my cylindrically-encased processed potato products

Also, the flavored Triscuits are fantastic. And one good thing to do with plain Triscuits is lay a few out on a plate, put a small chunk of sharp cheddar on each one, nuke them for 0:20, and drop a pickled jalapeno slice on each one.

you should poll all the pringle flavors so i know which to try

I like making mini-ruebens with the rye triskets.

feel like we could use a really good meme about preferred eating styles, pringles, and disgusting food to tie this all together

oh well

lol

all you think about is meme all the time

No time to start a poll. U do it.

I lv both triscuits and wheat things. I don't care for the flavored varieties of either and I have tried MANY varieties. MANY bc Dominicks had a crazy sale on both ( $.99 each iirc) and I bought 10-15 boxes of them.

all you think about is meme all the time

BTW I love the sausage roll conversation I kicked off <3

...and this little piggy went meme meme meme all the way home.

The closest I've got to a foodfail recently was a rescue attempt of some venison sausages that were slowly going cryo in my freezer. I skinned them, chopped them into meatballs, quartered a bunch of mushrooms, made a shallots/beef stock/red wine base for what became a massive but merely acceptable stew in the sense that I didn't finish it all and removed a repurposed carton that was packing fuzz a couple of days ago. Cannot eat anything four days running that isn't spiced (protip: if the curry you've made is too harsh/overspiced, best thing for it besides a few spoonfuls of yoghurt/coconut milk is probably an overnight rest in the fridge).

Sausage roll orphans in the US: for an approximation of the British version, grab some puff pastry and some variant of Jimmy Dean (skinless 'links' or the sausagemeat), roll out the pastry so you can cut it into four-inch-wide strips. Before laying the links etc along the bottom of the pastry strips, brush some mustard or ketchup or onion marmalade or HP (up to you) along that edge. Roll the sausagemeat out into a similar shape if that's what you're using, and place it the same way as the links would be. Roll the pastry around the sausage and seal the pastry lengthwise with the tines of a fork, score the top of the roll on the bias like this ---> /////// then egg wash the tops before baking on a sheet at say 200c/375f.

foodfail

I forsee a tumblr/blog and book deal in your future...

I think the worst is when you cook a disgusting, inedible dish, but it is also made of the only food you have, and you have no more money to buy something edible, so every bite is a punishing but necessary chore.

during such occasions I urge myself to photosynthesize

haha "become a heterotroph you bad-cooking shit" would be a good mantra on such a day.

Will rep for Caraway Seed Triscuits omg omg omg. Wheat Thin(g)s are tasty also, but maybe a little less healthy-tasting?

My problem with trying to replicate sausage rolls is I want them to taste like Mum's or the ones from the bakery in Colac and they always end up disappointing me. Absence of Rosella sauce also deepens the sadness,

Hate it when I get distracted and accidentally overcook zucchini. Hate soggy zucchini, bums me out.

_all you think about is meme all the time_

This was an accident.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

just cooked some calamari squid rings as a side to some potato salad with some mixed mayo/sriracha. That's my first time trying squid and I found its texture and taste so repulsive I couldn't even swallow the first mouthful. It was so utterly repulsive and alien to me I binned the lot and it has killed my appetite for the rest of the afternoon. There is something deeply troubling about eating deep sea aliens to me, never again.