Chuckie, I feel for you.

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After the thread on Palahniuk-nyuk-nyah-hahaha, I realized that Chuck is *the* most horrible name EVER. Apparently some guy in the Netherlands named his kids "one", "two" and "three" (in Dutch of course). So have you heard stranger names? Dick Duck? Al Koholick?

― nathalie (nathalie), Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No-one ever believes me, but this is no word of a lie. Six years ago I was working at HMV in Edinburgh. Punter approaches the counter with product, looking particularly downtrodden and put upon. I serve him quickly, cos it doesn't look like he wants to stop and chat. He pays by credit card, and the lifelong reason for his distress becomes clear. Surname = Sprout. First Name = Russell.

― Andrew Williams, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As far as I know, Palahniuk isn't his real name. Paula and Nick are the first names of his grandparents hence...The father of the two Neville brothers who play play for Man U. is called Neville Neville.

― Michael Bourke, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A major market research firm is negotiating a worldwide deal with a major international parcel supplier. The research firm's chief statistician is at a meet-and-greet and is told he can be introduced to the head of research for the Middle East, a Turkish gentleman. With a bright eye and winning smile the statistician crosses the room and shakes hands with the Turkish man, newly arrived in Britain. The two exchange business cards and suddenly the deal is in jeopardy for the statistician has emitted a noticeable snigger, on being given a business card bearing the immortal name "UFUK KOC".

Said card is still enshrined in my old job's London office.

― Tom, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's an unfortunately named bloke at work called George Nazi (prounounced like Hitler would - he hasn't copped out and become a Nay-Zee). I suppose I should also mention cricket umpire Dickie Bird before somebody else does.

― Madchen, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

At college, the powers that be in charge of roommate assignments for first-years made Natalie Fingerhut and Prudence Cumberbatch share a dorm. They took their names with good grace. Also that year: Galaxy Craze (yes, she who writes well).

My psych teacher in HS was Richard 'Dick' Koch. When we got to the Freud unit the Smart Kids started taking the piss ruthlessly.

I wonder what T. Blair does when confronted with a joint meeting with Bush and Wim Kok...abstains?

― suzy, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe this thread should be linked to the lying thread since I suspect it will bring out the tall tale teller in many posters.

― Emma, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I used to work with a guy called Said Alami so when I had to use the internal phone system to get in touch with him it cam up as S Alami which always made me laugh

― Jonnie, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In the Albany county phone book, there is a LEGENDARY character in Troy named Haywood Jablome.

This is not a joke, I really had an old phone book from the 80s where he was listed, but apparently after some local shock rock DJs broadcast his number on the air, he changed to an unlisted number, as he vanished from later books.

― Kate the Saint, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ahh, Troy. The city of beauty.

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The career counselor at my high school was a woman named Burl Dick. Hee hee hee.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's a woman who works in our HR department called Itakeit Upthearse. I'm not kidding! Luckily for her, no one takes the piss, what with Anal Lesion working in the ad planning dept next door.

― NIck, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Since Pete is doing proper work today I will steal his daft name. He maintains one of his students was called Crimson Boner. I took this with a pinch of salt.

― Emma, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Didn't someone on the beeotch say they knew someone who went to school with someone called Oomintroll? Or was that a gag that flew under my radar?

― mark s, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no, that was me. it wasn't a gag. it wasn't my school either. it was thru friendsreunited.co.uk (or whatever its called). i looked at some friends school and there it was. i'll look again, and provide the evidence

― gareth, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yes, i was just idly flicking thru different years at other Bradford schools, when i came across Mike Oomintroll, who left St Bedes in 1990. it is a joke i guess (M-oomintroll???), oh well. there is also a Randy Goblin at the same school, i guess you can give a fake name.

― gareth, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My dad claims to have encountered a Jack Schitt in his business dealings. I tried to verify this on whowhere.com, where I found some actual people named "Schitt", but one of them has the first name "Dawg".

― Kerry, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i couldn't find Dawg, but i did come across Yue Schitt. fantastic

― gareth, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's also a John Schitt. I suppose he is sometimes known as Jack. "You don't know Jack Schitt? Man, he's quite a guy!"

― Nick, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My favourite, if we pass by the lovely student now working at some dead end job in London called Crimson Boner is:

Martin Hampshire.

Which admittedly isn't that racy until you discover he comes from the small village of Martin. In Hampshire.

― Pete, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I came across someone in my work last year named Nirmal Jhunjhunwalla. I had the unfortunate thought of introducing myself as Otie, but I refrained (Odie, Nirmal ... Garfield).

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nirmal (Nirmala for gurlz) is a very common Indian name.

― suzy, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Weirdly enough, that is the second Nermal reference I've come across today, the other being in an MC Paul Barman track. Which is obviously odd, as Nermal's existence hadn't registered in my brain for a good ten years before this.

I always hated the Nermal strips.

― Nitsuh, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This is because Nermal SUCKED ROCKS. His appearance marked the beginning of Garfield's decline; the Scrappy-Doo Effect strikes again.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nermal's just a terrible thing to name a cat.

The thing is, I used to really like Garfield. I'd read it every day. I'd have books of strips and watch the tv specials. Then when I was about 12 I was reading it and realized that it wasn't funny. At all. I looked through the books, and they weren't funny either. Garfield in the Rough? Not funny. That's when I realized I only enjoyed it cos it was about a cat, and then I started worrying about myself.

― Ally, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I second that, Ally. I think it was just a function of those books -- they were just everywhere, sitting around waiting for kids to get bored and sort of half-heartedly read through them. Eventually, you started to think you liked Garfield, when really you were just sort of used to Garfield. Assimilation via ubiquity, or something like that.

But yeah, I recall a specific moment when I read a Garfield strip and realized: this isn't funny at all.

I'm very much in favor of Fred Basset lately, as that strip doesn't even include any attempts at humor. Stuff just happens and then stops happening, and then Fred thinks something.

― Nitsuh, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's like Mary Worth except she does it better.

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think both my brothers and I all had that same Garfield experience, We must have like 10 of those damn books, and there the same 3 jokes over and over. Garfield is fat and lazy. Jon is a loser. And Odie is stupid.

Most unfortunate name goes to an Asian kid in my high school who's name sounded extremey dirty but actually wasn't at all: Suck-dith Poon-jas-tick-el.

― bnw, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Much embarrassment for teachers at my old school was caused by attempting to pronounce the name Muhunthan Balasegaram. I never got it wrong, becasue I am GRATE.

― DG, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I used to be a big Garfield fan, myself. One of my parents' cats was just like Garfield, too -- a big, fat ball of fur with a bad attitude who just liked to eat.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If there is such thing as a Garfield complex, I do believe my cat has it.

― JC, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My parents' current cat is more like Pokey the Penguin than Garfield.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Wednesday, 8 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I knew a tiny Vietnamese kid named Phuc Yu. Poor guy got teased mercilessly.

― Melissa W, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Me teaching a class -- first day, note one of the students has a first name of 'Bich' -- she's of Vietnamese background. I'm reading out everyone's names for attendance and get to hers. "Um, is Miss Tran here?" She then says that her first name is pronounced 'Bic' like Bic pens or razors. I am extremely glad for this information. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

my graduation, the entire population of the Bournemouth international center sniggers as one as Dominic Hunt goes up to receive his scroll.

― cabbage, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tom's old company has some quite exemplary names of itself, without having to resort to external clients - by far the funniest is the head of the South African office:

CHRIS P DUCK

You have to admire people who get to the top of their profession with supremely daft names...

― Paul, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jeez, has everyone had a Garfield phase? I used to absolutely love him - taped the cartoon show, bought the first 25 or so books. Then one day, I came to the startling realization that the strip was not at all funny anymore and it rarely had ever been. Jon Davis has two strips which he just keeps rewriting: Garfield makes fun of how dumb Jon is, Garfield makes fun of how dumb Odie is.

― palpable, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh yeah, and keeping with the thread, there used to be someone in our phonebook named Cao Dung. I think now it's unlisted.

― palpable, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

mountain legend of a bluegrass fiddle player who named his daughter Amanda Lynn

Bloom County was way worse than Garfield

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's patently impossible for Bloom COunty to be worse than Garfield. Bloom County was sarcastic and funny. Garfield talked a lot about how Garfield was fat and hated spiders and was not funny, save some the strips that featured Jon's disastrous dating attempts or Jon's mother.

Plus, Bloom County had Steve Dallas.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Pussyfox"

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No mention of George Foreman yet? And his children -- George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, ad infinitum? What's up with that?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Thursday, 9 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three months pass...

The strangest names I have ever heard belong to a pair of twins who were treated by a dentist friend in North Carolina. They were named Lemonjello and Orangejello (pronounced le-mon-ji-low and o-run-ji- low). I think that makes for a far stranger pair than Natalie Fingergut and Prudence Cumberbatch (who are respectively my wife and her friend).

― Rob Winters, Tuesday, 4 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The worst name for ANYBODY ever was thankfully inflicted on a female personality that would become a minor cramp on my esteem during my adolescence. And here's the story about that very girl a good number of posts down into this thread

― Brian MacDonald, Tuesday, 4 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I know everyone in the pub has heard this already, but at my old job we had an upholstery tutor called A Cushion, he was of french descent i believe. Also a "wacky" character at Gloucester Guildhall who was Michael Hunt, but actually refered to himself as Mike...

― carsmilesteve, Tuesday, 4 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hi, my name's chuchy, wanna play?

― charles p sycho, Thursday, 6 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

seven months pass...

My dad worked with a man named *Warren Peace*. Our family friend's name is *Dick Payne*. My friend's mother worked in a hospital ward where someone named their child *Female* after they saw it on the birth certificate, they thought they hospital had named her Fee-mal-ee.

― rebecca, Sunday, 28 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Crispin Cockhead

― rainy, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm surprised no one's thought of calling the nearest bar/airport and asking for some of these names yet.

― Justyn Dillingham, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah, and Garfield the comic may be useless, but the old Garfield cartoon is actually quite classic, mostly because it was written by the brilliant Mark Evanier (of "Groo" semi-fame) and was therefore one of the VERY few cartoons from the wretched Eighties that was actually funny. (Have you ever sat down and tried to watch all those cartoons you used to think were great? It's a depressing experience.)

― Justyn Dillingham, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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