Blue Saturday

thread of mumbling to myself. you can play too.

Playlist, shuffled

Popol Vuh - Hosianna Mantra
Actress - Splazsh
Paysage d'Hiver - Kristall & Isa
v/a - Mystic Records Presents We Got Power - Party or Go Home
Alva Noto - Xerrox Vol. 2
Debris - Static Disposal
Pere Ubu - The Modern Dance
Pussy Galore - Exile on Main Street
Decayes - Not Yet!
Ulver - Nattens Madrigal
Edgar Varèse - noise interpolations from "Déserts"
Orbital - Brown Album
The Fall - Escape Route from the Wonderful and Frightening World of
John Beltran - Earth and Nightfall
Celtic Frost - To Mega Therion
Expo '70 - Animism & Black Ohms

add zoloft and low-grade hangover, play freecell, lean back, stir

freecell is fucking tedious tbh.

spent a lot of time this week watching young people going about their business, wondered why the fuck they were bothering for the most part. humans' sense of a worthwhile life/survival is pretty fucking tedious tbh.

i mean we are ape-y and not much imbued with magic or wonder

have been semi-inclined to go to Beverley and get properly drunk and lost today, out of spite and dickishness really, but this feels like a more satisfactory and less damaging way of getting some of that out of my system. damn i love a temporary solution tho. temporary dissolution.

okay, "Remind" is proper classic. lolstalgia. here is a notable story from the annals of Hull history

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145635.ece

the other weekend we decided there should be a giant animatronic goat-fucker alongside the railway line just before the station, with a neon "Welcome to Hull" sign over it

i missed the last d off of "Edgard", I know

lolstalgia. jaysus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMFspaHFl3Q&feature=related

in the service of full disclosure, obv. there's not much more ridiculous than middle age, but youth is probly one of the things

http://www.sabotagetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/Hull-Fair-7.jpg

so in love with the decent past but this picture could've been took anytime, really

city lost to time, city that fell from grace with the sea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px5RkcwxkZQ

oh Hessle Road

half fucked now but still classic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6bWJd44i-o

best band ever btw

http://bill.terebenthine.free.fr/images/spiders_from_mars.jpg

This is the 2nd best band from Hull ever. They were still Quite Good.

http://bill.terebenthine.free.fr/images/spiders_from_mars.jpg

man this tension between wanting to escape and knowing i won't escape very far, tawdriness in advance, wanting a pub with chet baker on the jukey or at the least Stock Aitken and Watermang's "SS Paparazzi" - lolstalgia again tho - can't even get a pint of Double Diamond anywhere now, not sure they still brew it - or that i want it tbh

not sure how much of this is the medicine flexing its muscles either but

not cut out for another 5 - 50 years of this really and pondering whether maintaining a facade of functional dignity is doing anybody any favours when i shd be beatniking it out in the wilds of this hilarious city

http://www.heritagepubs.org.uk/images/pubphotos/Hull-OldeWhiteHart-MainBar.jpg

Allegedly - tho you know history and publicity make bitch liars and memory is quite rewriteable - this is where we started to win the Civil War. Charles was keen on coming into the city and securing the arsenal and the docks but local capitalist plutocrat guys got together in this pub and told the mayor to lock the gates and tell him to get tae fuck. which he did, against his will. this pub is really cosy and still pub-esque, which y'know is an increasingly rare fucking commodity in the 2K10s. also where i heard some dude being accused of being "racist against gays".

Pubs I have loved: the Piper, the Gardener's, Hockneys when it were old and working man's clubbish, the Golden Ball, the Engineers, the Mint, the Black Boy, the Olde White Hart, the Schnapps Bar, the Empress, the Star of the West RIP you were a beautiful dump, the Station, the Turnpike and that stupid sports bar at the back where I watched us win the play-offs and got so splattered by half time I didn't remember a fucking thing about it, also where I watched Eubank fuck up Watson but missed the fatal punch and said something unfortunate about him not getting tagged that hard

interrupted because our joel just texted to inform me that a pet shop in town is selling bird food labelled "6 fat balls for wild birds"

and I KNOW HOW IT FEELS

http://www.eyorks.com/hullpub/

this virtual pub crawl is kinda sick-making with lolstalgia. the probable siberian wind knifing ice-sleet into yr face is doing a good job of keeping my safe in the house tho. am gonna cheat and make myself a little sump'n sump'n now to tilt the balance. might as well be hung for a whole pen full of sheep etc

honest to god there used to be a fishing tackle shop on Anlaby Rd called "Master Baits"

ginger beer, is there anything you don't mix with?

one can't help but feel that social evolution is something of a pig in that it discards all use for male libido about 30 fucking years before yr male does

NON-ALIGNMENT PACT YES BANG ON TIME

am looping that fucker

don't know when i, when i'll be conte-eh-eh-ent btw

really tho motivation is a funny thing. i dunno that aristotle was right about the unexamined life not being worth living but fuck i seem to see a lot of unexamination going down. ruminants. being a ruminant is plenty cool if you like cud tho. absolutely don't despise peoples alignments with themselves, just am wickedly out of sync and not getting how to get my groove "back" ha like it's been there since what 10? 5? seem to remember being reasonable centred playing army on the grass square at the top of our street but even then i was more of a cloud watcher rilly.

you reach this point when you think "man i am all ego self-centred aspie not good for people observer only bollocks" and that's a thing that you can be, one doesn't like to think it about yourself but we aren't all cut out for being productive and reasonable and loveable guys really

ginger ale not great with sambuca fwiw

got no real issues with the rest

yeah that seems true, wdn't mix sambuca tho tbh. ginger beer, not ale. I like ginger ale but it's a pretty low key mixer? have an unopened bottle that i might bring into play when the ginger beer runs out unless mrs v comes home and slaps me upside my head

which wd be a dece excuse tbh

we should totally go out on the lash, darragh, it would be most excellent times imo

no issues with that either, but no aristotle pls

i don't do aristotle in the pub, or anywhere else really, dude was shit

most tedious fucking philosopher ever award or maybe leibniz or that twat brother of Henery James's's

i forgot the old fake irish bar appendage to the mainbrace in my list of much loved pubs, and the mainbrace itself, spent a glorious new years eve in there one time off my swede on mushrooms thinking i'd got a glowing sign on my head saying "this dude's on mushrooms"

i miss hallucinogens

booze is a ready, loving, companiable buddy for ALL TIME tho

it was all-encompassing dismissal of discussion of all higher modes of though tbh

For drinking purposes, that is. Time and a place, time and a place

exackly

sport and giant animatronic goat-fucker tableaux are ideal pub convos tbh

don't even take my "oh pity poor me i is so sad" face to the boozer, it is NOT THE PLACE

i wouldnt trust booze with my money or missus but i'll go drinking with him alright.

not that i is so sad, i am kinda focused and edgy and probly not real level-headed but sadness is sort of not there except an impending "i like where this relationship is going" gif sadness and wondering hmmm can i keep up a veneer of not-great for another 10 years or so until the kids are all safely launched

goat fucker convo def has icebreaker value

he is an hull legend. shd definitely feature in the publicity blurb imo, also he is one of those dudes where everybody you meet knows somebody who knows him

but this is like the biggest village in the world so

six degrees of separation in hull = about 3

fond memories of P4ul H34ton allegedly fending off Poll Tax bailiffs with an air rifle from his Grafton Street mansion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sNffR-yTA4

our civic anthem

reckon a goatfucker or similar on the sound bridge would put achill on the map

Ok, on phone, in body lotion section of an actual irl fancy dept store, and my full attn is required. Continue at yr own pace will check validity of the remainder of thread later

suddenly I have Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough" with the lyric changed to "Just Can't Get It Up" stuck in my head as a good idea for a Weird Al song

am not even dressed yet but gotta admit the water on the windows did inspire a bit of "oh sweet (not)..." earlier. mostly just glad to be the not at work though evne if this afternoon fails in my quest to do anything productive 4th week running.

lucky I have the new Radiohead album to listen to, high spirits ahead!

We're all haunted houses.

I’m feeling more like a bouncy castle right now tbh, albeit one that knows its steadily leaking air

“Let the music smother me / whole weekend recovery”

Love to you all, this has been a good weekend but I don't remember the last one.

i'm gonna keep it off the "Ironic" thread but gosh, i love a theatre kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWHpIP1-kUI

https://x.com/AckAckGunz/status/1941243622806237522/photo/1

feel like i havent asked whats up in a while and now that neither of our teams have gibbs-white we could at least jointly commiserate on that score

I'm rooting for youse to trounce Forest's latest vexatious litigation even though I'm still not fully convinced MGW is the full package

Anyway I'm well given I've still never fully overcome my habits of self-sabotage and I hope you're well too?

at 11:37 this morning in the 30°C with the dogs walked several hours ago to avoid same, and nothing to do today- very well indeed ty ty

Yeah i woke up half seven had a walk into town to buy a vape and get my hair cut and now I'm going to laze the Saturday away in whatever way seems best, which at the moment is just enjoying a pint in the shade and digging the summer

Already managed to meet some old lad who asked me to get him a taxi as he sits outside the Gardeners mumbling about being lost cos he got let out on bail this morning

Summer is the best

we're all either heading from or heading to the next prison

is the kind of thing i feel one says itt

I feel that's correct

Anyway love everybody today is going to be a saturated technicolor Saturday and blue is just a welcome tint in the mix

OK last post was the shrooms kicking in

Ah fuck the pub is playing all bangers, Fugees, TLC, "It Wasn't Me" lol ffs

Ah fuck they're playing "Fantasy" i think the shrooms are messing with me

Oh God ODB i still miss you

Apologies, the Haworth is surprisingly empty still, youse guys are copping it until my pub friends turn up

Or until karaoke starts at the Masters, either way

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/49667/old-man-eating-alone-in-a-chinese-restaurant

The best kind of solitude (nb the soup does not contain mushrooms, I don't think).

good updates

ive moved to another garden since and am relaxing watching a youngfella with more life than sense mow the fucking lawn

SEARCHING FOR THE HERMIT IN VAIN
I asked the boy beneath the pines.
He said,"The master's gone alone
Herb-picking somewhere on the mount,
Cloud-hidden. whereabouts unknown."

^^ another good and short poem about the best kind of solitude, from 9th century China. (Possible mushrooms involved in the herb-picking, I’d guess)

I’ve done shrooms and I’ve been to the bar but I’ve never been on shrooms at the bar
I don’t think I could handle it

Friends came in, we've been laughing about stuff, including Diana Ross's penalty kick in 1994.

It's just the right kind of dose I hope, gentle enough to be still capable of interaction, but everything beautifully curled at the edges

Time to curl those edges for another swirly Saturday

I was listening to "The Next Time Might Be Your Time" but then some lads came to sit out here so I turned it off out of respect

Sometimes I'm on a raft in the middle of the ocean and really tired of watching the shark fins circling

Take a leaf from infinite wealth imo (and ilu, stay the course!)

<3 I'm staying, think of it as observing the clouds of nonsense drift across my sky

Actually tbh that was a lie, days like these I am striving to find a way to peace with/ignore the sharks

Pepe Kalle is god

Had to google: wondered if this might be an Aztec or Mexican mushroom god.

All of the above tbh

Sitting in the sunshine with a Murphys listening to "Roger Milla" is a great way to start a weekend

the only darker pint i ever found a taste for

that Guinness export stuff is so good, Murphys just never made an impression on my tastebuds.

I've had a couple of Nigerian Guinnesses and I didn't hate them but they don't taste like stout and they're probably best if you get them icy cold

for me the Nigerian Guinness is sweet oblivion that goes down smoothly and doesn't upset the stomach

My brain is very broken and I'm very tired of it

sorry to hear that :(

i've had a really shitty couple of months but i sort of went back to basics and am definitely feeling better for it, or at least i feel like i can better cope with life when the waters get choppy. more sleep, a bit of exercise, trying to eat healthy food, spending time really getting lost in music, trying to turn these things into solid habits to displace the bad ones that really weren't helping. trying to be happy within myself. hope you can find your own way out of the fog somehow nv

Those are all good strategies and I do my best to adopt them. The last couple of weeks I've just let myself wallow and it's stupid of me.

There's a real lack of mental health care nowadays. I spoke to a GP last week and she was really good and understanding but she basically told me I wasn't ill enough to get a psychotherapy referral. So it's another round of CBT or nothing, and CBT just doesn't cut it for me.

Ah friends I've sailed such a long way out. Alles gut but here i am

<3

The soldier came knocking upon the queen's door
He said, "I am not fighting for you any more"
The queen knew she'd seen his face someplace before
And slowly she let him inside
He said, "I've watched your palace up here on the hill'
"And I've wondered who's the woman for whom we all kill"
"But I am leaving tomorrow and you can do what you will
"Only first I am asking you why"
Down in the long narrow hall he was led
Into her rooms with her tapestries red
And she never once took the crown from her head
She asked him there to sit down
He said, "I see you now, and you are so very young"
"But I've seen more battles lost than I have battles won"
"And I've got this intuition, says it's all for your fun"
"And now will you tell me why?"
Well, the young queen, she fixed him with an arrogant eye
She said, "You won't understand, and you may as well not try"
But her face was a child's, and he thought she would cry
But she closed herself up like a fan
And she said, "I've swallowed a secret burning thread"
"It cuts me inside, and often I've bled."
He laid his hand then on top of her head
And he bowed her down to the ground
"And tell me how hungry are you? How weak you must feel"
"As you are living here alone, and you are never revealed"
"But I won't march again on your battlefield"
And he took her to the window to see
And the sun, it was gold, though the sky, it was gray
And she wanted more than she ever could say
But she knew how it frightened her, and she turned away
And would not look at his face again
And he said, "I want to live as an honest man"
"To get all I deserve and to give all I can"
"And to love a young woman who I don't understand"
"Your highness, your ways are very strange"
But the crown, it had fallen, and she thought she would break
And she stood there, ashamed of the way her heart ached
And she took him to the doorstep and she asked him to wait
She would only be a moment inside
Out in the distance her order was heard
And the soldier was killed, still waiting for her word
And while the queen went on strangling in the solitude she preferred
The battle continued on

30+ years ago i had one (1) erotic dream about SV

i refuse to condemn my subconscious for it

(also 99.9F° is a great album and iirc eerily presaged fiona apple's last record)

Something has gone badly wrong yet again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOj0HoXYiYQ

I am contemplating getting the bastards tho

30+ years ago i had one (1) erotic dream about SV

one for the out of context thread that

im west at a wedding with time to mooch about town a bit theres a soft niceness to it, or a nice softness to it