Do you know someone who is too touchy-feely or has nicknames for everyone?

I used to have this friend Kev who was one of those guys that was always rubbing your shoulders or touching people in some way. and he always had nicknames for people that he would make up randomly...hey "Christus the roman senator"....odd guy and annoying. we are not friends anymore.

i am okay with an occasional backslap or whatever, but i fucking hate friends who'll like grab you aggressively and be all HEY THERE etc

Has my dad possibly faked his own death, and is now living under an equally Irish alias in MA?

I make up nicknames for people on the spur of the moment and refer to friends with dumb animal endearments like "Kitten" and "Chickadee", also I am highly touchy-feely. So I guess I'm That Guy!

I feel you, chrissikins!

My old boss always had to think up short names for everyone, you could never be Alison or Richard, you had to be Ali or Richie - whether you wanted to or not - she thought long names were impersonal or something. She was American, might explain it.

My urge to kill anyone who shortens my name (FFS, it's really short already!) is probably worthy of inclusion on the irrational anger thread. Randomly touchy-feely people can GTF an' all, unless it's people I like and it's appropriate, like hugging hello or goodbye or a sympathetic arm-rub when I'm sad or whatever.

I am not friends with any bestowers of crap nicknames, but it seems like a terrible trope for "annoying office bastard" from so many TV shows, so for this I am v. grateful.

one of my favorite nicknames he bestowed upon our other friend was "Needledick the Bug Fucker"

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Rf9S3GkkeyI/SmiAjzTdnPI/AAAAAAAATUQ/cBEc0gI2GuU/s1600/daniel%2Bclowes.%2Bneedledick%2Bthe%2Bbug-fucker.%2Bpage.%2B001.jpg

HA!

you know this kid was a comic book artist....WTF.

That was a Dan Clowes strip that he did for, um, Weirdo I think.

george w bush

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2j0qfcNJS1qzz5rto1_400.jpg

these people are disgusting savages

re: nicknames - i have ONE acceptable abbreviation. anyone who calls me "al" gets blanked
re: tactility - DON'T TOUCH MY FACE, HAIR OR PHONE

my friend didn't like it when we started to call him Moncheechi.

closely related - when you offer your hand for a shake and people go in for a big hug instead, EVERY TIME. like maybe have you considered that i don't consider you a hugging sort of friend at this stage of the evening/our relationship/etc? follow my lead. this is basic.

this reminds me that i once had a group of korean students who were visiting specifically to improve their english writing skills, etc. they had to write a short narrative essay about pet peeves. one kid suggested skinship as a pet peeve. i didn't know what it is, but apparently, it's a konglish word (they use it when speaking korean, but it's basically a made up english word) to refer to friendly touching, welcome or otherwise.

skinship.

bush & merkel jpg is like something out of arrested development

i sometimes find people are weirded out when i offer a hand for a handshake....but i like to shake people's hand on greeting, i think it speaks well when others do the same too!

Unsolicited shoulder rubs are the worst. Especially when you are sitting and someone comes up behind you. Makes me wish I carried a sidearm.

When I went to church there were always these older guys who greeted each other (and me) with these hand-crushing shakes and shoulder-punchings. It was all very 'We're so manly, not gay at all, no sireee!'

And then yesterday in a work staff meeting there's one guy who keeps touching everyone he talks to on the thigh

But then I'm a cuddlesome bug, so they can't resist, obviously

omg I realised my co-worker was a touch-talker last week. sat next to him at a play and he would touch me on the arm or leg everytime he talked to me...hate hate hate it. Dude, Im looking right at you, what the fuck do you want from me???

i make up nicknames for everyone ;_; but physical contact with people who aren't v close friends makes me nauseous

I'm more comfortable with handshakes than hugs. I associate hugs with close immediate family and friends and handshakes as a sign of respect to nearly everyone else.
As for cutesy nicknames, I cannot stand that crap. Things like Awesome!Dave (Yes, with the exclamation in the middle) bother me to no end.

Obviously there are levels of propriety that have to be respected, but I like a bit of friendly physical contact. Unearned nicknames can be a bit irritating, yes.

xp

ME = NERDY/PEDANTIC:

That was a Dan Clowes strip that he did for, um, Weirdo I think.

Nope. Straight-up Eightball.

i make up nicknames for everyone ;_; but physical contact with people who aren't v close friends makes me nauseous

I'm sorry, I'll stop goosing you every time I see you ;_;

yrs,
Forbsey McSpazmo

hahaha

I have a bad habit of nicknaming everyone but it's stuff like monkeyface and stupidbutt, just passing 'affectionate' names for friends and whatever.

often my nicknames just consist of adding 'crazy' or 'big' in front of someone's name, or shortening it to the first letter and adding something like 'dude' or 'man' after it

the code ~revealed~

lol sounds like truck driver handles

ten-four v-girl

comin' in loud and clear, crazy e-dude

Ha yeah we all seem to do that - H-man, S-dogg, Jimbo, uhh... me.

Actually I get called Trarse a lot.

You will need to explain that one.

I dunno, my mate Ange came up with it. Trayce. Arse. Trarse. *shrug*

oooooooooo kkkkkkkkkkkk

I get 'Ad', never 'crazy Ad-dogg' but y'know

used to call this guy i knew ad-pop, like ad-rock but he liked twee music. these days he is a well known politician.

The double-clasp handshake is a good move, as is the handshake-pat on shoulder. I like it when people do it to me, and I tend to do it to others unless its blatantly clear I shouldn't. I didn't know this was such a cause of consternation!

Puts me on the backfoot immediately, because it's such a salesman move. If it happens to me socially I'm always immediately sizing the person up, like "okay so how much of a douche is THIS guy going to be" without even realizing it.

But of course if it was you we'd be bros :)

People who touch me only touch me once.

that must make your relationship frustrating

lol!

I have a habit when drunk of semi-flritingly patting guys on the arm and stuff, I should watch myself a bit more, I did it to a barely-known workmate last weekend when I bumped into him in chapel st lol oops.

Its just, he had a giant lipstick splat on his face and I thought it was funny! SO I went "har har lippy on yr face!" *baffs arm*.

I guess it's all about intentions at that point. I try my best not to come across as a salesman or a PUA, but if someone is being slimy it's easy to figure them out, tactile-ness or no. xp

Went to an Alcoholics/Narcotics Anonymous picnic once (was dating an AA member) and all the NA people greeted everyone with a hug, like, it was their thing. As an awkward repressed Brit this was definitely o_O to me.

as a not-especially-repressed american, that's definitely o_O to me.

like, a big part of what keeps me from being addicted to drugs/alcohol is the fear of the huggy-treacly recovery culture.

"And Midge, if you ever feel the need to rage you just call me ok, I won't even get sexual or nothin'. Unless thats what you want? .... that's not what you want, is it".

With close friends I don't mind touchy people as I'm pretty touchy with people I'm close to myself. If weirds me out when people I've just met hug me though - wtf is that? WE ARE NOT AT THE HUGGING STAGE FFS.

omg the nicknames. my best friend hangs with this other group of people I don't particularly like and they all have THE WORST nicknames. There is this tool Dave-0 who is the worst. His brother is called The Stee$h and his other brother - The Free$h. If you say hey it's good to see you he busts out with "It's good to be seen!" God I hate him. Just typing all this is working me up.

re: unsolicited shoulder rubs -

my violin teacher when I was little used to do this ALL THE TIME. He'd come up behind you when you were playing and just start rubbing. I think at the time it was sort of weird but years later I thought about it and it seemed REALLY WEIRD. Pretty sure he was just a friendly old dude but it was still a little o_O, I think.

i noticed recently that when kissing on the cheek i always touch the waist of the person i'm kissing. is this is a step too far? (i do it with guys, too.)

depends on duration and whether it's sides or front and back

you've gotta steady yourself, don't want to accidentally lean in too far and overbalance all over them.

people who do this shit are normally incredibly passive aggressive and bossy in my experience. "We really have to catch up one night because, you know, I really love you guys and we just don't hang out enough, you know, as a group".

Yes we do. Everyone does. Except not you.

i noticed recently that when kissing on the cheek i always touch the waist of the person i'm kissing. is this is a step too far?

cheek-kissing is a relatively new thing to me and i am terrible at it.

i think i accidentally touched my 87-year-old landlady's boob when she came in for a hug. she's like two feet shorter than me; i didn't know where to go.

i also fear that i may once have inadvertently grabbed an ilxor's ass while engaged in this process

i have nothing to add to this but that comic above was amazing

who made it??

oh wait it says right there

my violin teacher when I was little used to do this ALL THE TIME.

i once had a creepy voice teacher -- he didn't last long -- who kept wanting to touch my abdomen during breathing exercises. i was like 9 years old and even then i knew that i didn't some stranger touching me so close to my pelvis! for the rest of the lessons, my mom came in and kept an eye on the dude.

didn't *want*

Yeah see I studied with this guy for like 7 years. I can't remember if he started doing it right off the bat or if it started later. I man it obv never went beyond shoulder rubbing but I always felt a little weirded out by it even though I knew that it/he was harmless.

The Crown Prince of Inappropriate Touching, beginning at about 0:16:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9pEom0enlE

In the '90s I worked in an electronics shop. One day this bloke came in and picked up his computer. I took it out to the car with him and he asked me to grab his keys out of his front pocket (his hands were full). 15 years later I'm still not quite comfortable about that moment.

http://i.imgur.com/CpqZ5.jpg

oh yeah and there was that massage therapist in ho chi minh city who kept touching my nuts and wanted a massive tip.

i think i accidentally touched my 87-year-old landlady's boob when she came in for a hug.

You probably made her whole week, dude.

Last week when I was at a bar waiting to meet S- this girl was sitting at the next table and struck up a convo with me... by the time her and her friends left she decided I was awesomepals and gave me a big mwah on the cheek, which completely startled me.

I am totally ok with friends hugging/kissin me tho.

Also lol @ the IT crowd pic Jim hahaha.

i think i accidentally touched my 87-year-old landlady's boob when she came in for a hug.

EVERYONE is two feet shorter than you; that excuse isn't gonna work forever, dude.

;)

Hahah wait, I dont remember mookie being that tall! It was a long time ago tho and I might have been a bit drunk.

i seem shorter when sitting

Hahaha. Yes that doesnt help.

Well, I always look like a giant to little old ladies, and I'm only 5'6"!

I hate casual touching, but I will put up with it if it's part of the culture of the group I'm with.

I expect full gamut of ass grabbing, hand shaking, shoulder squeezing and boob grazing when eventually meeting fellow ILXORS...I think this thread pretty much nails it, lol

and that's just from trayce

Hurray!

I will offer all this grabbing and squeezing to anyone who is interested tbqh

where do I sign up

I'm willing to help Trayce out here--I may not like casual touching but I have no problem with groping fellow ILXors. When are we going to have this Fondle FAP?

massage therapist

I was one, actually, but it didn't change my perspective on casual touching. (It did bring out my latent bisexuality, though.)