What is your favorite one post

it can be from anywhere, you only get one post to post about

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/n516837027_830174_2486-1.jpg
― King Boy Pato, Sunday, April 20, 2008 3:46 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Loving Longbert,

The physiological difference key between monotremes and the other mammals is which have given they their name; The Monotreme means “the single opening" in Greek and comes from the fact that their systems urinarii, defecatory and riproduttivi all are opened in a single culvert, the cloaca. This structure is much similar one to that one found in resisted them. Contrarily to the single cloaca of the monotremes, other females mammal have separate openings for the reproduction, urination and the evacuation: the vagina, uretra and the ano.

I think that is hot.

To hope of aids!
Rodman

― rodman, Monday, 23 April 2007 01:22 (3 years ago)

this is actually the central point of my thesis on gender relations, which is that ppl project their needs onto their partners and u end up w/women all tenderly makin love to your dong when u just want it to get beat the fuck up, and meanwhile dudes are all trying to jackhammer cervixes and fingerblast a broad with a hand covered in superbowl rings

― a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Thursday, August 6, 2009 6:48 PM (1 year ago)

Oh really I did not know that you felt that way, maybe if you mentioned it a bit more we would all know how you felt. Maybe you should also try trolling a few more threads like this so we could finally understand. Oh also maybe keep talking about how music is only good when there are lots of chords, I find that theory infinitely fascinating no matter how many times you say it, which is probably up in the tens of thousands now. Furthermore I would like you to continue to ignore the fact that none of the bands that you love would exist without the blues, even your precious Beatles and yes, even Genesis. Oh and one more thing I love how you never seem to understand how your basic musical prejudices end up breaking along racial lines, that is so sweet and not at all creepy. The end.

-- Dimension 5ive, Saturday, February 16, 2008 1:13 PM

Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus.

^^^this, far and away. its one thing to churn out crappy product, lots of aging directors do that (hell, young ones too!), but deliberately screwing up your past work - so that NO ONE can ever enjoy it again, that's a whole other level of unforgivable.

― Bizarro Morbius (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 18:44

I'm counting this as one, as it needs context.. from the OKCupid thread

"fun loving guy" = NEXT

― based god fillets with olive oil, cook for an additional 6 minutes (donna rouge), Sunday, January 30, 2011 11:20 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wow a guy who loves fun holy shit!!!

― based god fillets with olive oil, cook for an additional 6 minutes (donna rouge), Sunday, January 30, 2011 11:20 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark

almost all of these posts are classic obv but I should've been more specific, the posts you post on this thread can be from anywhere on the internet, any internet forums, they have to be your favorite

this psa is not directed at the first response

this is the only forum i read, so

Requiem wrote:
Co-dominance. It's how a really tall parent and a really short parent might have a medium-height child. Just like, theoretically how a fairly straight person and a leaning-towards-being-a-bit-you-know-what person might have a fairly gay child, while a very straight person and a fairly straight person are extremely unlikely to have a gay child at all. Co-dominance is a whole different barrel of fish though. It hasn't even been shown let alone established if a trait for homosexuality exists, let alone whether the alleles are simply dominant/recessive (like obesity and diabetes) or co-dominant (like height and skin colour), let alone where the trait of homosexuality lies on the genetic code (mmm, genetic engineering). There is so little known about homosexuality.

marto wrote:
What's to know? You stick your dick in another man's bum.

would read that canks thesis tbh

I apologise in advance, as this is too obvious, but if I have to ever think of one solitary post that, oh I dunno, encapsulates style, wit, panache, brevity and longevity, it is...

dont be a cheap ass, just buy a new fucking hat and have more than one favorite hat, you got to switch your style up, that way you always looking fresh

fuck washing a hat

-- LC, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 10:02 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

Mark G c+ping the "fuck washing a hat" post itt is like some kind of ILX endgame imo

why?

This is fun to think about. I have a particular post in my mind but this will require more thought, just to be sure.

really hoping for some luriqua itt

when i was 16 i.e. the age where you care about stuff like "authenticity" i liked the clash & the sex pistols & thought they were both "authentic" as fuck. then i got the stooges 1st album & after that i never listened to the clash or the pistols much. but now i'm 40 & i listen to, like, avril lavigne.

― (doorag), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:46 (8 years ago) Bookmark

stephen garza, if i could c&p

really hoping for some luriqua itt

― WD-40 (acoleuthic), Friday, March 18, 2011 7:26 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah 'hardrofl beyond zings' might be my favorite post ever. STILL UNDECIDED THOUGH but for posterity:

a G works with me and he sonned the hell out of me from 7:30 in the morning to 2:00 this afternoon, culminating at around 10:20. saw straight through me, deep through the bullshit. we were getting high and i started acting super-gay-crazy bitch-made devil-racist beast-mode and i accidentally painted an upside-down 7 on the wall and a cross then erased it!!!! WTF. all sorts of mystical negro type shit occurred that's too trippy to describe, and he told me my old girl realized i was crazy too and that's why we might never get along, and made me realize i never really got real situation or the finality of life never having brushed with death, like he was fucking the world and i was getting fucked, so he must experience it like the antithesis of tripping, and told me i'm an emo fucktard for not shaping up and getting pussy, and that it would be excusable if i were a real nerd. my fucking pot-hexed lack of memory is lapsing on 100 tons of hardrofl beyond zings. he also told me my age and height and birthday when i met him *:?

― luriqua, Thursday, September 6, 2007 11:44 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Describe yourself in just one word

should not end just now...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/kenjuggle3/radio.jpg
― ken c, Friday, 18 January 2008 13:00 (3 years ago)

YES

OMG I had completely forgotten about that.

Now, That's what this thread is all about.

Toot tooT!

― Owl Man, Monday, April 22, 2002 3:00 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Better than cocaine
This thread dispute between Nate and Trife resembles two hearty, healthy young chimps sparring
a) for territory
b) to see which of them is more mature
c) to see which can get the protection of 'the elders', sitting nearby chewing on twigs while being deloused by females.

Nate mentions cocaine, Trife steps into the clearing with a challenge that he has experienced neither the white powder nor, in fact, sexual intercourse (staking a claim to seniority by implying that he has already sampled both). Nate appeals to the elders to expel the aggressor but is met with indifference. Trife chases him into the brush with the cry 'eat my ass you clueless cum bubble'. As literature or evidence of intelligent life on earth, zero. A mark added for Trife's assonance and alliteration: 'ass' and 'clueless' have alliterative endings, 'clueless' and 'cum' alliterative beginnings, and 'cum bubble' is a nice piece of assonance. For humanity, though, bathos and probable deletion. 1

― Momus (Momus), Sunday, September 28, 2003 5:03 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark

its not bad homies
first kanye joint to please meh

― kl0pper, Thursday, August 30, 2007 2:13 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah! well you've also got "suicide" as merely "stupid pride", a somewhat hardline xtian sentiment which that indeed daring pantheism x astrology "gods are crazy / stars are blind" double whammy immediately vexes. and then yr everyday manichaean "be the devil and angel too" chaser. paris milton more like.

― rtccc (mwah), Sunday, August 27, 2006 1:17 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

funniest thing i ever read on ILX for some reason was a still image of a kid's face eating C3PO cereal and the comment "i used to eat these while making the same face". i think it was on that George Lucas crimes thread.
gawd knows why i found it so hillarious but i laughed til i cried hard.

OK, thread's gone to sleep, so here is the best one-post ever...

have you stopped to think that if you find the right girl now you'll miss out on all the wrong girls.

― estela, Tuesday, 23 October 2007 00:12 (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That Shakey Mo "individual meter data" thing leaves me in tears every time I see it. I just literally spit out a little coffee when I read it now and had to clean my desk.

Really, I'd be lying if I claimed otherwise (thread title counts in this case btw)

Britney can i get your sister jame spears Email

britney can i get your sister email why because she look intersting

― NAthaniel, Monday, April 12, 2004 8:57 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark

tbf jame spears did turn out to be pretty intersting.

"How dare you not appreciate the Scooby Doo soundtrack! I'll rape your pets!"

-- forksclovetofu, Thursday, May 15, 2008 5:43 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

as far as tits go, bigger is better. my gf has two round robust milky white 38Ds, with dark brown nipples that spread 3 in across her beautiful tit flesh. i've been with lesser woman and have not had similar pleasure, especially the ones that are all nipple. my cock too is a thing to behold. my gf measured it at 8.5 in of dark brown veiny mexican cock. uncut, of course. it took her about 2 yrs to be able to swallow it all. but she perfected the art of deep throating my shlong. i've seen other guys at the urinals and they see me. i'm blessed with a flaccid cock measuring almost 7 inches. most guys have little peepees peeking out of their flies. i have a snake. thank u very much!
― stephen garza, Friday, January 10, 2003 4:50 PM (8 years ago)

thank u very much!

lol wtf

see my first post itt. Aerosol otm

loco garza

uncut, of course

Of course

Technically a thread but the first post is all time

ORNALDO BLOOMPS FOR PRESIDETN
He took down that elephant thing HARDCORE. DAMMMNNN.
― DiMarceau Fishpower, Thursday, January 22, 2004 3:23 AM (7 years ago)

yeah that garza one is all-time

dark brown veiny mexican cock

a thing to behold

The guy from faithless needs to perform that post at nursing homes

Marissa is a one woman Beatles, yet, she is not a one woman Beatles.

Marissa is attractive, yet, she is not attractive.

― Plain Jane, Friday, 12 August 2005 18:03 (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol ^ need context

kelpolaris, meet Marissa Marchant.

Marissa Marchant, meet kelpolaris.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_juWiEK6dke0/SmIfPPC-HrI/AAAAAAAAACo/qHvTYoByRBk/s320/Michael+Sowa+-+Kohler%27s+Pig.jpg

he actually never her

miniature confession: I never actually figured out how that painting related to Marissa

???

Pinefox sez : "Too little interest in songwriting".

To me this is so far wide of the mark that it completely misses what early-Ramones are all about. The analogies with Brill building and early 60's girlpop songcraft has been trotted out so often wrt The Ramones that it's tempting to dismiss it out-of-hand. There is some truth in it though - I can hear the Shangri-La's, say, in I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend or Babysitter. That's not to say that this automatically makes the Ramones good, of course.

But they're better than good - they're masters. Their best songs are great because they are lean and simple - there's nothing that shouldn't be there. Couple this with a simple melodic hook(nothing fancy - 4 chords max. and another 2 for the middle 8) and a propulsive beat, and you have something irresistable. Add some elements of The Ramones 'own world' imagery (pick from : NY street images, retards, 'nam casualties, glue, girls)and you have genius.

Take "Glad to see you Go" from Leave Home - straight into a Beach Boys/Eddie Cochrane morphed melody and just listen to the way that the song shifts gear slightly on lines 3 and 4 of the verse as Tommy closes the high-hat a touch under the chords and melody. The shift into the chorus is sublime and the sheer rush as it comes back to the last verse from the middle 8 ("I need somebody good, I need a miracle") is like a ride in the space shuttle - on the outside.

Take "Rockaway Beach" - another point on the curve linking "Summer in the City", " Dancing in the Street" and "Baby on more Time". Again - great chorus, great lyrics ("Chewin out a rhythm on my bubblegum") and a sense of PLACE. In less than 3 minutes you feel exactly what it's like to be a teenager in baking hot NY - and you feel it every single time you hear it. That's great songwriting, Pinefox.

Rockaway, Glad..., Listen to My Heart, 53rd and 3rd, You Should Never Have Opened That Door are equals of "Please, Please Me", "California Girls", "My Generation" ..... the list goes on....if you can look past the "punk" thing which is really a red herring as far as The Ramones are concerned.

I guess it all depends on what you look for in a song - they're not Burt or Jimmy Webb, but they tell a story, crank up the adrenaline, and make their own world for 3 mins for EVERY SINGLE TRACK on the first 4 albums. That's classic.

― Dr. C, Sunday, July 15, 2001 8:00 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I never actually figured out how that painting related to Marissa - I think you're going to have to ask forks to explain that.

Marissa Marchant has a whole slew of posts that'd fit nicely on this thread. Golden years..

OK, OK.
1. Don't read him. Dubliners is blank and empty of significance, the Portrait is theocentric and tedious, Exiles is an embarrassing failure and never revived, Ulysses is a homely family homily in disguise, Finnegans Wake is a self-indulgent crossword puzzle no-one should bother with.

2. Don't get distracted by anecdotes - people rehashing some apocryphal story about something that JJ once said to WBY, or something one newspaper said about U. It's astounding how untrue most of these are.

3. I don't know that anyone else had, or has, registered the movement of things like him - objects, I mean, fluttering pieces of torn paper blown on a light breeze under a railway bridge or eddying back and forth on a tide; a door opening or closing on imperfect hinges; the sort of things amid which we (still) live.

4. Not just 'things' but social processes - how many times have I been out for a night in a boozer or three and been reminded of Sirens / Cyclops / Oxen, the way that he understands how gatherings work, how geezers get together, come in at five and pop back at seven, pass a newspaper report around the table and try to find the funniest things to say about it, while someone colourfully offers another round;

5. or those ordinary actions that I was so astounded to find in U, first time around - getting up and bantering while cooking breakfast (milk, cream, lemon - simply beauties), walking home drunk in the middle of the night - things no-one ever notices about Joyce.

6. Felicities: colons: rhythms: full stops. Periods.

7. Lists: catalogues: series: sequences: successions: which interrupt a narrative and lurch sideways, out of 'time' and into frozen textual 'space', for as long as they want, until they have become as extraordinarily funny as they care to be.

8. 'Humanity' - I mean, compassion, care for 'ordinary people', interest in things that others had thought beneath them, 'daily life'.

9. Yet not just a generalized wash of 'liberalism', perhaps - noteworthy enough in itself, next to so much of the rest of modernism - but something harder and more clear-eyed in its political calculations. Wells called the Portrait a book that only an Irish Catholic could have written, a quasi-Republican complaint, a Fenian yawp: what if the mass of historical data and learning in Ulysses and maybe beyond is really an immense, dense, complex political analysis, the pen as scalpel, 'lancet of my art', casually pricking the bulbous balloon of post-Victorian imperial culture?

10. Read him: Dubliners is hard as the side of an engine (Pound), the Portrait dares to denote childhood as no-one else had, Ulysses is all we need, the Wake might be what we need when we've just about, improbably, had enough of all we thought we needed.

― the pinefox, Tuesday, August 28, 2001 8:00 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(cozen has an equally good post about blue nile modelled on that one but pfox was the innovator)

that pinefox post was what convinced me to finally take a run at Ulysses...so so so otm

Wow, that is a brilliant Pinefox post

BULLSHIT FONGOLOID! Third album is their strongest, suck it.
-- Tynan DeLong (mhalberstra...), June 1st, 2006 2:24 AM. (TynanTynan!) (later)

miss tynan no joke

Ronan909: haha jean luc picard
SIMONTRIFE: you jean luc picard motherfucker
SIMONTRIFE: i am obsessed with him too ronan
Ronan909: that show is fucking hilarious
Ronan909: its so serious and up its own ass
SIMONTRIFE: have you seen the movie where he cries
Ronan909: imagine redoing the theme tune so they all kind of have to dance
Ronan909: and do stupid actions
SIMONTRIFE: we laughed so fucking hard i tht i was going to die
Ronan909: its so funny
Ronan909: he's extremely funny
Ronan909: so is ryker
SIMONTRIFE: his fake-french nephew has died and hes looking at this photo album in his little room
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: the clothes he wears!
Ronan909: tunics and kind of robin hood style stuff
SIMONTRIFE: thats also the movie where theyre going to hit the planet and data says 'SHIT!!'
SIMONTRIFE: bcz he has the emotion chip
Ronan909: data as every 8 year old kid in blockbusters forever
SIMONTRIFE: i agree totally star trek really is the funniest show ever
Ronan909: the next gen is easily the best
SIMONTRIFE: the whole ship looks like a mid 90s luxury car
Ronan909: people laugh at the old old one but thats passe
SIMONTRIFE: all that beige carpeting
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: its like a saab
SIMONTRIFE: yeah the old one has a much 'newer' aesthetic
Ronan909: and the suits are just homo
SIMONTRIFE: haha picard wd totally drive a saab
Ronan909: "make it saab"
Ronan909: he should do a commercial
SIMONTRIFE: hes the jacues lu cont of outer space
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: 'uh, jean luc?' 'call me patrick'
Ronan909: wouldnt it be funny if geordie was like a really strong black character
SIMONTRIFE: jean luc!!!
Ronan909: like obviously
SIMONTRIFE: haha well he is kunte kinte
Ronan909: the dad from fresh prince
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: can you imagine that giant body in one of those suits
Ronan909: the mental image has me laughing
SIMONTRIFE: i also like the politically correct storyl;ines
SIMONTRIFE: like when they go to the planet with the deaf president and everyone has to be very sensitive to the deaf guy
Ronan909: they're better than the stupid "crises" anyway
Ronan909: like "we're all going to die" followed by
SIMONTRIFE: and theyre always getting trapped in big clouds
Ronan909: "captain if i reroute the central engine then theres a one percent chance we can live"
Ronan909: "MAKE IT SO"
SIMONTRIFE: at least on the old star trek they actually went to planets and had monsters and stuff
Ronan909: "thank god we got lucky"
SIMONTRIFE: next generation is just cloud after cloud
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: "of all the clouds this one is the most enigmatic ryker
SIMONTRIFE: did you ever see the early one where they all get drunk and data fucks the blonde girl
Ronan909: have you ever read camus?"
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: "i am fully functional"
SIMONTRIFE: she asks him if hes... FULLY functional, and he spouts these meaningless robot statistics
SIMONTRIFE: hahaha
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: and did you see the movie where he fucks the borg queen!!!
Ronan909: the uncut version had him charming picard
Ronan909: yeah
SIMONTRIFE: i like data alot, hes a very funny actor
SIMONTRIFE: hes the crazy scientist in independence day
Ronan909: yes
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: its a hard part to play
Ronan909: incredibly hard
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: pre-'fuck it, what do you look like' thread
SIMONTRIFE: WORF!!!
Ronan909: ACH-NACH-SHMACH
SIMONTRIFE: remember how he always talked abt klingon sex
Ronan909: they really made klingon seem basic and primitive
SIMONTRIFE: 'a... HUMAN woman could not...withstand it.'
Ronan909: hahah
Ronan909: he was basically taunting ryker
SIMONTRIFE: haha they could never decide if they were space-russians or space-africans
SIMONTRIFE: haha ryker is a tool
Ronan909: yeah totally
Ronan909: po faced twa
Ronan909: t
Ronan909: he was kind of racist in it
Ronan909: always ready to kill some romulans
SIMONTRIFE: like when hes piloting that shuttle and ryker goes 'tough little ship' and worf goes 'LITTLE??'
Ronan909: speaking of which the romulans were fucking hilarious!
Ronan909: the haircuts!
SIMONTRIFE: ryker was totally a racist
SIMONTRIFE: haha 'bad vulcans'
Ronan909: and the big shoulder pads
SIMONTRIFE: 'vulcans, but bad'
Ronan909: we envy you humans and your "fashion sense"
Ronan909: it is unmissable
Ronan909: i watch it daily
SIMONTRIFE: they borrowed their shoulder pads from vivian banks
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: finally a concrete connection
SIMONTRIFE: i havent had tv in like three or four years but i remember them all
Ronan909: the irish guy is so funny too
Ronan909: colm meaney
SIMONTRIFE: i remember the movies better
Ronan909: chief o brien
SIMONTRIFE: yeah the irish guy!!! hes in a lot of movies
Ronan909: one of my friends gets called chief cos he looks like him
SIMONTRIFE: hes the jet pilot who dies in die hard 2, when the plane full of british ppl crashes
Ronan909: have you ever seen "the snapper"
SIMONTRIFE: i love how the terrorists kill the brits as a 'warning'
Ronan909: he plays an Irish dad in it
Ronan909: whose daughter gets pregnant at 16
SIMONTRIFE: 'next time itll be some REAL people!'
Ronan909: its so fucking funny
SIMONTRIFE: haha does he get mad and yell
Ronan909: he has slippers and dodgy cardigans etc
Ronan909: yeah
SIMONTRIFE: pregnant by worf
Ronan909: his wife goes but what about the neighbours
SIMONTRIFE: 'there is... biting.'
Ronan909: and he flings a cup of tea and goes
Ronan909: "AH FUCK THE NEIGHBOURS"
Ronan909: in a really funny irish accent
SIMONTRIFE: in retrospect his klingon sex doesnt sound very hardcore at all
Ronan909: no some girls make it seem tame
Ronan909: "there is slobbering and awful masturbation technique"
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909:
SIMONTRIFE: haha
SIMONTRIFE: calum is like ryker
Ronan909: "there is.......grabbing of pubic hair by mistake"
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: ryker thinks life begins and ends with white men
SIMONTRIFE: 'sometimes...the condom gets stuck in your pubes, and you have to stop for a moment... it is very stressful'
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: ryker is totally aryan nation
Ronan909: "a condom has not been found for klingons yet"
SIMONTRIFE: hes sucha prick!
Ronan909: "we use ferengi ear lobes"
SIMONTRIFE: its ridged for her pleasure
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: haha ferengi
Ronan909: FERENGI
SIMONTRIFE: space-jews
SIMONTRIFE: they were the bad space-jews, vulcans were the good space-jews
SIMONTRIFE: vulcans have thousands of years of culture and arts and are very solemn and wise
SIMONTRIFE: the ferengi control all the money and will screw you over for it
Ronan909: they love business deals
SIMONTRIFE: yeah, they worship gold
SIMONTRIFE: we havent even touched on THE HOLODECK
SIMONTRIFE: ryker was always like reenacting the civil war on it
Ronan909: redneck
SIMONTRIFE: and picard did that hilarious film noir detective thing!! what a goober
Ronan909: REG BARCLAY
SIMONTRIFE: honestly, is he like ten??
Ronan909: AKA *******
SIMONTRIFE: hahahaha
SIMONTRIFE: thirty-eight year old virgin
SIMONTRIFE: he was put in so fans could have a relateable character
SIMONTRIFE: 'number one, get me number thirty-eight year old virgin'
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: haha its all coming back now
Ronan909: deanna LOVES nerds
Ronan909: we're all not losers!
SIMONTRIFE: 'tea, earl grey, HOT'
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: she was kind of a bullshit psychic
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: she just sounded constantly moany
Ronan909: from hearing everyones pain
SIMONTRIFE: yeah
Ronan909: or else like she was having an orgasm
Ronan909: "captain, the cloud is leaving us"
SIMONTRIFE: her most-used word was 'ohh'
SIMONTRIFE: haha exactly
SIMONTRIFE: 'the cloud has father issues'
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: i swear to fucking god i think that was an actual plot
SIMONTRIFE: cloud with father issues
Ronan909: "the cloud is mating with that supernova, we're witnessing the birth of something we know nothing about"
SIMONTRIFE: hahaha
Ronan909: picard (rubbing lotion on head sternly) "deanna have you ever read camus"
SIMONTRIFE: they were such pussies!!
Ronan909: haha yeah
Ronan909: its so po faced
SIMONTRIFE: the old one really was so much more hardcore
SIMONTRIFE: like, they got in fights and shit!!
Ronan909: seriously imagine how piss yourself funny it would be if you had the theme music
Ronan909: and them all dancing to it
Ronan909: as the intro
SIMONTRIFE: haha
SIMONTRIFE: i want to dj with the theme music
Ronan909: like mock actions
Ronan909: at every change in note
SIMONTRIFE: haha ok ronan
Ronan909: you have a shot of picard pointing angrily
Ronan909: or ryker frowning
Ronan909: you know that old 80s tv show style
SIMONTRIFE: the intro is pretty gay too... the planets
Ronan909: yeah
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: and the ship, it DISAPPEARS
Ronan909: whoosh
SIMONTRIFE: WARP SPEED
Ronan909: MAKE IT SO
Ronan909: he should have said
Ronan909: make it go
Ronan909: or make it clap
SIMONTRIFE: hahah
Ronan909: they were all into such shit stuff aswell
Ronan909: on the holodeck
SIMONTRIFE: make it SO (clap clap clap clap clap clap clap)
SIMONTRIFE: yeah i know
Ronan909: "i've recreated a 1924 jazz club with no one in it"
SIMONTRIFE: youd think culture had just stopped
Ronan909: "i feel this is the best use of being able to simulate any event ever"
Ronan909: the holodeck, man i'd love one of those
SIMONTRIFE: they all listened to classical music and liked prancing around in medieval forests
Ronan909: ecstacy, early 90s grade
Ronan909: warehouse, scuzzy
Ronan909: music, loud, rave
SIMONTRIFE: haha speaking of ryker being a dick to worf you know in the movie when theyre on the ship
SIMONTRIFE: like, some stupid old british navy boat
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: as per usual
Ronan909: fucking anglophiles
SIMONTRIFE: and he makes worfs plank disappear and he falls in
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: idiot
SIMONTRIFE: and then data pushes a bunch of ppl in the water but nobody laughs!!!
Ronan909: and ryker is all "i can take a joke"

Ronan909: data's is funnier
SIMONTRIFE: i mean it was a lot funnier than when fucking ryker did it
SIMONTRIFE: yeah
SIMONTRIFE: so data like goes back to his room to cry
Ronan909: cos if someone did it to ryker he'd not be smiling in that fucking smug way
SIMONTRIFE: only he cant bcz he doesnt have the emotion chip
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: i really wd probably beat the shit out of him
Ronan909: he was in north and south too
SIMONTRIFE: THIS ONES FOR WORF
Ronan909: imagine the entire crew dancing to get low
SIMONTRIFE: 'number one'
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: haha
SIMONTRIFE: i can imagine like data doingthe running man
SIMONTRIFE: stop being so fucking SERIOUS
SIMONTRIFE: why is no one gay in the future
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: they have replicated the problem away thanks to ryker
SIMONTRIFE: the closest to gay wd be like ryker wd fall in love with some woman who turns out to be a shapeshifter
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: that would be hilarious
SIMONTRIFE: she shouldve turned into molten lava while rykers dick was in her
Ronan909: he's about to fuck her and then its like
SIMONTRIFE: dude that was an episode
SIMONTRIFE: except the lava
Ronan909: "ambassador tomalahawk, you ROMULAN SCUM"
SIMONTRIFE: her real form was this furry rat thing
Ronan909: "I was working undercover picard, i knew it was ambassador tomahawk"
SIMONTRIFE: haha
SIMONTRIFE: everyones a racist in the future
Ronan909: remember his son appeared or something
Ronan909: and it was a bug
SIMONTRIFE: i love the movie with kirk and the klingons
Ronan909: yeah
SIMONTRIFE: thats seriously my favorite movie of all time
Ronan909: kirk at least tried to sleep with women
SIMONTRIFE: its even better than wrath of khan
Ronan909: they made them assexual in the next gen cos they were so embarassed
SIMONTRIFE: kirk is fucking rugged
Ronan909: do you mean the one where kirk and co get framed
SIMONTRIFE: even when he was old he still was a pimp
SIMONTRIFE: yeah and sent to the ice planet!!
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: kirk actually fucks a shapeshifter in that too
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: shapeshifters are the modern day tranny
SIMONTRIFE: and bones is like rolling his eyes
SIMONTRIFE: 'here he goes again'
SIMONTRIFE: that movie is awesome
Ronan909: bones is kind of sexually dead
Ronan909: and just dead in every sense
SIMONTRIFE: it has the skank from sex in the city as spocks little vulcan girl
SIMONTRIFE: she overenunciates everything
SIMONTRIFE: well he is dead now
SIMONTRIFE: the actor
SIMONTRIFE: theres an old episode where he fucks a shapeshifter too
SIMONTRIFE: it turns out to be a monster that eats salt and has a vagina for a face
SIMONTRIFE: a vagina with teeth!
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: the old ones are all about weirdo mind control
Ronan909: and kind of eerie character warping
Ronan909: the new ones are like BIG MORAL ISSUES
SIMONTRIFE: kirk would make a good rapper
Ronan909: NO JOKES
SIMONTRIFE: i bet he refuses to go down on girls
SIMONTRIFE: bcz hes james t fucking kirk
Ronan909: warf would be a good rapper
Ronan909: it involves BITING
SIMONTRIFE: haha and in the klingon movie you learn at the klingon trial his middle name is TIBERIUS
SIMONTRIFE: 'i like earth bitches'
Ronan909: eastside boys featuring james tiberius kirk
SIMONTRIFE: lil kirk
Ronan909: "I Fuck All Races"
SIMONTRIFE: remember worfs son!!!
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: he was such a little shit
Ronan909: and his brother or cousin or whoever
Ronan909: who kept calling him a pussy for wearing his fancy earthman sash
Ronan909: in fairness they were right, that ship was full of twats
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: "perhaps i like twee anglophilia brother"
SIMONTRIFE: yeah remember like when worf goes back to the klingon home planet and theyre like 'wtf'
Ronan909: "but WESLEY CRUSHER, HE IS WHAT WE CALL A FOOL"
SIMONTRIFE: all the klingons cant believe hes hanging out with these total losers
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: ilxors as next generation
SIMONTRIFE: q was asexual though
Ronan909: so he said
Ronan909: he was actually quite cool
SIMONTRIFE: calum is like on the old star trek when theyd meet some god and he wd fuck with them but then in the end he'd just be a big baby
Ronan909: sense of humour
SIMONTRIFE: yeah anyone who makes picard so mad!!
SIMONTRIFE: 'STOP IT Q'
Ronan909: hahaha
SIMONTRIFE: i guess he is calumn
Ronan909: "Q I FEEL GREAT ANGER TOWARDS YOU"
SIMONTRIFE: 'Q I THINK WE SHOULD TALK THIS OVER'
Ronan909: "Q I AM FURIOUS, HAVE YOU EVER READ SARTRES"
SIMONTRIFE: kirk wouldve just kicked him in the teeth
SIMONTRIFE: he wouldve done that sideways kirk kicking thing where he lands on his ass
Ronan909: "q theres a line on jay z's the blueprint, it reads simply 'i will not lose ever FUCKER'"
SIMONTRIFE: the borg movie has a lot of hilarious stuff with picard talking abt herman melville
Ronan909: yeah haha
SIMONTRIFE: i guess literature just stopped!
Ronan909: he always shitted on about obvious contemporary literature
Ronan909: or culture
SIMONTRIFE: in the future nobody writes anything but self-help books
SIMONTRIFE: yeah i know
SIMONTRIFE: listening to bach
SIMONTRIFE: white supremicist
Ronan909: "in normandy, when they're bedding the horses, they are always sure to say why not my beautiful vicar"
SIMONTRIFE: hahaha
Ronan909: he is like captain MCDEPTH
SIMONTRIFE: remember when he gets trapped in the elevator and he sings frere jacques to the kids!!
Ronan909: i was just thinking of that
SIMONTRIFE: he wasnt even fucking french
SIMONTRIFE: he has a british accent!!
SIMONTRIFE: remember his vineyard
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: and geordie was so bored he was visiting his old boss
SIMONTRIFE: haha sometimes they wd drink wine on the enterprise
Ronan909: and play cards
SIMONTRIFE: theyre such 80s yuppies
Ronan909: ryker the jazz fan
Ronan909: GUINAN
SIMONTRIFE: they would have like those 80s cd players that are really huge
SIMONTRIFE: hahaha
SIMONTRIFE: 'captain i am detecting the prescence of whoopi goldberg in a stupid hat'
SIMONTRIFE: she looked like a fucking chess piece
Ronan909: picards voice is so funny
Ronan909: hahaha
SIMONTRIFE: they could play three dimensional chess with her!!
Ronan909: you know when he goes all slow and kind of contemplative
SIMONTRIFE: god they were always playing chess too
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: they played 3d chess in deep space nine
SIMONTRIFE: its funny to imagine teh rest of culture continued on without them but on the enterprise they just wanted everything to be old and european bcz they were white supremicists
SIMONTRIFE: like, everybody else in the galaxy is listening to get low 2450
SIMONTRIFE: theyre like a bunch of renaissance faire nerds
SIMONTRIFE: its a show abt a bunch of nerds who fly around in a spaceship
SIMONTRIFE: a bunch of rich white yuppie nerds
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: they just lamely stun them on that one
Ronan909: did they ever kill anyone
Ronan909: in the entire thing
SIMONTRIFE: maybe they like shot a cloud and then it gave birth
SIMONTRIFE: 'we're witnessing something very beautiful here...'
SIMONTRIFE: picard was like a shitty professor
SIMONTRIFE: he was always making the crew gather round to look at stuff they didnt care about
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: "have some malt whiskey lieutenant"
SIMONTRIFE: 'yemtemenos 8.... we finally made it'
Ronan909: hahaha
Ronan909: they were all rapt with interest though
SIMONTRIFE: haha they drank stupid yuppie wine
Ronan909: "captain i intend to take some rock samples for my studies"

SIMONTRIFE: they replicator was just one of the cardboard boxes of wine they sell at teh grocery store
SIMONTRIFE: they just put a piece of black plastic on it
Ronan909: "you do that lieutenant, WAIT, a cloud???? IN THIS GALAXY?"
SIMONTRIFE: i imagine them just going from cloud to cloud
SIMONTRIFE: uss retard
Ronan909: "cloud 9, i've heard of this one"

SIMONTRIFE: wtf was there mission anyway
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: "to eliminate clouds"
Ronan909: and take rock samples
SIMONTRIFE: 'hey... you...get offa my...'
SIMONTRIFE: to learn lessons from clouds
Ronan909: they just gave them a fake mission and threw wes crusher on board
SIMONTRIFE: to make the holodeck malfunction and almost kill everyone
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: to get rid of them all
SIMONTRIFE: it was secretly a reality show
Ronan909: cos they were the worst bunch of bores ever
Ronan909: they kept making faces when kirk or other federation cronies got lecherous or drunk or sexist.
SIMONTRIFE: 'what happens... when nine crew members stop being real... and start getting polite'
SIMONTRIFE: haha i know
SIMONTRIFE: they were like
Ronan909: you can see thats true cos they hate all the old federation guys
Ronan909: RAJON 5
Ronan909: what was with the dumb names of planets too
Ronan909: they sounded like washing up powders
Ronan909: LUSTRE 7
SIMONTRIFE: hard-on 12
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: BALDHEAD 1
Ronan909: captains log, supplemental
SIMONTRIFE: STRONGO 14
Ronan909: after rendez vousing with the venetian blinds on GETLOW 7
SIMONTRIFE: his captains logs were fucking useless too
SIMONTRIFE: always making shit jokes in them
Ronan909: we have found a primitive culture known as "fun"
SIMONTRIFE: or being really obscure
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: "the clouds have gone, for now, perhaps we were unable to understand them"
Ronan909: and then it got all wonder years
Ronan909: "we didnt realise it and neither did they but that day our crew and the moons of Raijilicus 4 were closer than ever.
SIMONTRIFE: 'i guess you could say we learned something from the rigelians... about ourselves'
SIMONTRIFE: or he would smugly mention another crewmember
Ronan909: this was truly a space miracle"

Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: my first cloud
SIMONTRIFE: captain, dr crushers brother has died on VIETNAM 7
Ronan909: "commander data meanwhile has not mastered the subtle art of bonhomie, but with my guidance, he shall continue to learn"

Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: they probably all sat around laughing at his captains logs
SIMONTRIFE: we sent you through that cloud to collection ion samples!!
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: "another cracker from jean luc"
SIMONTRIFE: 'look... hes crying!!'
SIMONTRIFE: god i know i sat around laughing at him
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: i want to see the one where he cries so bad now
Ronan909: there is so much mileage in mocking it though
Ronan909: what was his nephew called
SIMONTRIFE: 'he was.... so.... so... so YOUNG'
Ronan909: lilian
Ronan909: or florent
Ronan909: or something
SIMONTRIFE: he actually says that
Ronan909: lilian-florent
SIMONTRIFE: yeah something gay
SIMONTRIFE: omg dude how cd i forget this!!!
SIMONTRIFE: when he goes inside the ribbon that grants your wishes
Ronan909: hahaha
SIMONTRIFE: and his wish is to have a gay charles dickens christmas with his family!!!
Ronan909: and he's married to a victorian woman
Ronan909: hahahaha
SIMONTRIFE: what a loser
SIMONTRIFE: kirk is like chopping wood and getting back in bed with some green woman
SIMONTRIFE: picards is just little brats going 'pa-PA!'
SIMONTRIFE: 'faaaather...'
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: it would have been so cool if “relax” played and picard is in some brothel looking aroused and disgusted with himself all at once.
SIMONTRIFE: why is malcolm mcdowel in that
Ronan909: the intro and then picard is like "nooooooooo"
SIMONTRIFE: it really is a travesty
SIMONTRIFE: except when data says shit
Ronan909: THE NEXUS
SIMONTRIFE: hhaha
SIMONTRIFE: the enterprise is THE LEXUS
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: cruise control, faux leather seating
SIMONTRIFE: beige EVERYTHING
SIMONTRIFE: picard was like 'make it beige, number one'
Ronan909: its such a pathetic vision of depth
Ronan909: MAKE IT BEIGE, LIKE A FINE WINE
SIMONTRIFE: 'what color shd the spaceship be??' 'MAKE IT BEIGE'
SIMONTRIFE: like my shriveled old man hea
Ronan909: number one, i think you'll find the seats are plush leather
SIMONTRIFE: uss fleshtone
Ronan909: easy on the rear
Ronan909: uss pofaced
SIMONTRIFE: the old enterprise was cool
SIMONTRIFE: all grey and simple
SIMONTRIFE: the new one had like cup-holders everywhere
Ronan909: the bar in the new one is the worst
SIMONTRIFE: and stupid little ridges
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: it looks like the worst yuppie bar ever
Ronan909: MAKE IT BLAND NUMBER ONE
Ronan909: "aye aye sir"
SIMONTRIFE: they were such fucking yuppies
Ronan909: little did they know about warf and datas SEcrEt CrUnK parties in the holodeck
SIMONTRIFE: ;make it crunk'
SIMONTRIFE: worf probably listened to like tribal klingon music
Ronan909: "what in the name of fornicating clouds is going on here warf"

Ronan909: i can imagine warf as an industrial fan
Ronan909: front 242
SIMONTRIFE: 'it is too HARSH... for human ears... no melody... just rhythm'
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: insane clown posse
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: "its......too shit for human ears"

SIMONTRIFE: 'there is a lot of... sucking'
Ronan909: ha
Ronan909: there must be other characters
SIMONTRIFE: yeah we've hit the wall here
Ronan909: i am saving this without doubt
SIMONTRIFE: remember bajorans
SIMONTRIFE: nose ridges
Ronan909: horrible noses
SIMONTRIFE: yeah totally we have to make this into something
SIMONTRIFE: 'tasteful suburban bookstore, 1988'
SIMONTRIFE: 'macintosh computer, flying toasters screensaver'
SIMONTRIFE: 'magazine rack, macworld magazine'
Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: 'packaged biscotti, dry'
Ronan909: music, tepid indie
Ronan909: clothes, amusing v neck sweater
Ronan909: prejudices, multiple
SIMONTRIFE: music, tribal groove
SIMONTRIFE: music, moby, play
Ronan909: worf is like
Ronan909: place, klingon semen basement 2077
SIMONTRIFE: sting, new album
Ronan909: music, BEYOND HOLODECK COMPREHENSION
SIMONTRIFE: haha
Ronan909: sex, full blown, many clowns.
SIMONTRIFE: location, the very mild fetish club
Ronan909: klingon sex is unusual
SIMONTRIFE: sense of transgression from 'biting', third grade level
Ronan909: "it involves...........clowns"

SIMONTRIFE: self-satisfaction, high
SIMONTRIFE: 'klingon sex is... unusual... it doesnt... happen often... because i... live with my parents'
Ronan909: and ryker is like "get that clown back to calgon 7 immediately warf"
SIMONTRIFE: he would just smirk, 'nice little rimjob, worf' 'LITTLE Commander??'
Ronan909: worf got deanna in the end
SIMONTRIFE: in that same one he has to take the defense controls again and ryker goes 'sure you can remember what everything does?'
SIMONTRIFE: what a dick!
Ronan909: he pretended to be sensitive and care about clouds
SIMONTRIFE: haha she can predict his biting
SIMONTRIFE: 'ohhh'
Ronan909: the amount of her talking about other peoples thoughts you'd have to sit through
SIMONTRIFE: 'i sense... horniness... very much...'
SIMONTRIFE: ugh
SIMONTRIFE: worf had space-aids
SIMONTRIFE: didnt they have an aids episode?
Ronan909: did they
Ronan909: ryker disgusted by it
Ronan909: "FIRE PHOTON TORPEDOS, LETS KILL THIS VIRUS AND EVERYONE SUFFERING FROM IT"

SIMONTRIFE: thats a little too edgy
SIMONTRIFE: 'fucking faggots'
SIMONTRIFE: ryker was disgusted all the time
SIMONTRIFE: hes like a slaveowner
SIMONTRIFE: he was always either mocking someone lower than him or just grimacing in disgust
SIMONTRIFE: that dumb-ass smirk
Ronan909: yeah
Ronan909: and the beard
Ronan909: enson, clean my quarters
Ronan909: "and dont forget the underwear, hmph-haha"

SIMONTRIFE: he grew the beard to look manly

Ronan909: haha
SIMONTRIFE: brb!
Ronan909: no wonder wes had parted hair
SIMONTRIFE: i have to go!
SIMONTRIFE: its been fun
Ronan909: ok me too really
Ronan909: yes!
SIMONTRIFE: we will pick this up again
Ronan909: definitely.
SIMONTRIFE: more infantile star trek sex jokes
Ronan909: "have you ever read camus"
SIMONTRIFE: the final acceptance we are never getting laid again
Ronan909: haha
Ronan909: "theres a line on a beermat i read will"
SIMONTRIFE: making two hours worth of star trek sex jokes
Ronan909: its prob even worse than liking star trek
Ronan909: non ironically
SIMONTRIFE: yeah at least you can get star trek fangirls
SIMONTRIFE: like um
SIMONTRIFE: later ronan!!
Ronan909: see you!

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, August 5, 2004 8:50 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark

Just a bit of fun, so lets be cool.
I put together a number of threads and made a product out of it.

http://www.cafeshops.com/go_quick.11716560

Its not meant to be a profit making exercise, just a 'nice to have' if you want one.

Basically, its the threads "Car alarm", "Trucker hat/couch", "Four eared cat", "Sing House of Jealous" and on a darker tip, "Man on the roof".

Its $18, which is pretty much base price for this on Cafepress.

Unless anyone violently objects, its there if anyone wants one. It's not meant to be a 'harry potter' scale. I dunno.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, June 23, 2004 6:10 AM Bookmark

^^ I mean, it's got it all. Classic intro sentence, meta content and thread wtf meltdown with outcries and defections that simmers like a not-so-dormant volcano to this day.

"Just a bit of fun, so lets be cool."

all-time board description

ah, happy days. Sort of.

Love ya man, but just that first sentence kills me. Like you knew what was going to happen next.

what is hair, but the soul in spaghetti form? yes my children. come and let me warm you with my roller
― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, October 9, 2001 5:00 PM (9 years ago)

lmfao

That TNG chat is so classic.

any advance on the above? my answer is still the same obv