Terminator 5, aka Terminator Genisys

Great.

:/

if we let him run for president will he not-do-this fo us

No, no, this could work. Picture, if you will: a nanoswarm, created by the human resistance to infect the Skynet manufacturing plants, which triggers a line of doughy and ineffectual Terminators that have to stop mid-pursuit to catch their breath and adjust their trusses? It could be a hoot and a half.

he said he'd be back

"I have extensive piles."

this is where i mention one more time my sad dream of arnold in one last conan movie as the aging usurper king trying to hold together a fractured country that hates him. get john milius to write it! come on, life is short, let's do this.

"I have extensive piles."

hahaha, misread this as "explosive piles"

Im with goole here. The last Terminator was one dull, lousy movie.

Someone's seen Tron 2 and wants Arnie as the older version of whichever human dude the Terminator is based on, with a CGI-ified younger Arnie as the robot, I'm guessing.

I guess he could play the aging human that was the template for the T-101(?).

I read this as Terminal 5 and I was about to go on a rant about that shitty venue.

I read this as Terminal 5 and I was about to go on a rant about that shitty airport terminal.

Terminator Salvation had some great graphics

no it didn't

But it did have a giant robot that shit motorcycles.

that's true, I'd forgotten about those

they sucked, yet were awesome

http://comicbook.com/blog/2014/08/06/terminator-5-is-officially-titled-terminator-genisys/

"Plot details are scarce, but the film is rumored to be giving the franchise a soft reboot through the use of time travel, a staple narrative mechanic of the series."

let me guess, they're going to send another terminator back to 1984 so that Sarah now has to battle an army of terminators while only having Kyle Reese to fend them off?

I'm no doubt the only person in North America who cares about this but I'm hoping it continues the continuity from Sarah Connor Chronicles

haha i would have cared, back in 2009, see also Anticipate Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles with someone else...

On March 13, 2014, it was reported that J.K. Simmons was in talks for a role as a weary and alcoholic detective who has followed a bizarre case involving Sarah Connor and robots for more than three decades.[7] On March 25, 2014, Schwarzenegger revealed that he is indeed playing a Terminator character, in which human tissue has aged.[38]

I am probably the only human who liked Terminator Salvation or whatever it was called.

Oh dear god.

http://io9.com/terminator-genisys-insane-plot-reveal-is-a-total-nightm-1652315938

oh god terminator dad?

YOUNG LADY, I NEED YOU TO CHANGE YOUR BOOTS AND YOUR CLOTHES

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR EYES?

Daaaad!!!!!

psyched for the Doctor Who crossover

Talk to the hand, Terminator 5.

mother of dwagons and connors

Genisys and other trending baby names for 2015

Would prefer "Terminator: Genesis."
http://www.stereogum.com/img/regenesis_genesis.jpg

Terminator 6: R'vylāshönz

Terminator: 90s Startup

considering terminator salvation and t3 did pretty even money, and considering arnold's latest films have bombed horribly, i'm not sure why they're bending over backwards to explain his creaky old ass being in this thing

"hasta la vista, baby. have a nice day at school!"

Terminator 6: R'vylāshönz

Sarah Connor was a Terminator all along!

"I'll be back...with pizza!"

xpost When I started reading rumors of a really awful plot development in the new one, that's honestly the first thing I thought of.

i'd love to see the pie-chart of how many people involved in this movie a) didn't know how to spell the word genesis b) thought the misspelling looked cool and c) straight-up did not give a fuck.

No, "Dave" cannot sleep over. My programming is to protect you.

sry these are all horribly formed "jokes"

90% of all dialogue from Schwarzenegger's film career consists of horribly formed "jokes", so it's fitting.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/nba/nba/.element/media/2.0/teamsites/pistons/genisys_400.gif

http://media.aintitcool.com/media/uploads/2014/merrick/b1meupucyaetud5.jpg-large_large.jpeg

Ooh, scary.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q9kmpLAw4k4/TzI8ltje6xI/AAAAAAAAAJE/RDRC2luN6X0/s1600/u2-bono.jpg

Hahaha

I see they're going for gravitas.

If they're not aiming for comedy...it will be anyway.

is that, like, a propane gun?

terminator vs aliens vs predator vs robocop vs superman vs muppet babies

I keep awaiting a future where everybody is John Connor due to the time-fuckery

I missed the explanation of how the time machine in 1984 came to be there. Did Pops build it between 1973 and then?

Enjoyed Arnie being lumbered with all the long-winded technical dialogue. Jai's responses didn't work at all / ruined the joke though.

The skin it regenerates is human, so the tissue naturally ages. The robot underneath doesn't corrode.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, July 12, 2015 11:33 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok, fine. but why is he fatter

maria shriver is an excellent cook

Haven't seen this yet, but tbh I'm loving the idea of a movie where you could leave, having enjoyed it, and then a day or so later wonder "hmm, but where did the main characters get a time machine?" You'd think that would be a bigger deal.

I think there's a point in the movie where they say it doesn't really matter when time travel is invented, cos once it is they can just go back in time with the tech and teach it to people in an earlier timeline.

"What do we want?" "Working time travel" "When do we want it?" "It doesn't matter!

lol

watched this last night and jesus christ it is terrible.

my favourite 'wtf?!?' part is when john connor shows up in the present day and reese doesn't bother to ask how he survived being mauled by skynet right as reese was heading into the past - and this is right after reese and sarah have had their 64th conversation about how infiltration units mean you can't trust anyone. kyle reese, you are a fucking idiot.

i think this was the first thing i've ever seen jai courtney in. i don't think i've ever seen a less charismatic screen presence. he makes sam worthington look like cary grant.

Definitely. And michael biehn was muscly but wiry, like the physical form of a man whod been fighting and running for years. Courtney looked like a doofus who has spent his whole life oiling himself in a gym.

Which is what he is, right.

other things that bugged / annoyed / horrified me:

- they went to some lengths to keep the t-1000's morphing effects fairly consistent with they way they looked in t2, right up until it was being held under the acid and the fx guys just went 'fuck it' and subbed in a bunch of horrible-looking cgi as it cycled through its previous faces. also, why the fuck wasn't schwarzenegger's arm melted off by the acid?
- are we to assume that the t-1000 who killed sarah's parents then spent more than a decade trying to kill her? that doesn't reflect well on either the terminator or sarah tbh
- they play the cops theme tune when the heroes are getting their mugshots taken ffs!
- lol at poor matt smith getting like a total of 60 seconds of screen time
- schwarzenegger's austrian accent seems to have got more pronounced in recent years, which is a pretty impressive achievement after living for the better part of half a century in the usa.

and finally:

- WHO THE FUCK SENT BACK THE 'POPS' TERMINATOR? It's never explained!

oh, and one more thing - the scariness of the terminator exoskeleton is pretty much totally undermined when filmmakers choose to put them behind the wheel of a truck or manning a security post. terminators are fuckin' terrifying killing machines, not blue-collar regular joes doing mundane jobs and counting down until retirement

This was really just a romantic comedy featuring Terminators

It's too bad the sequels are likely canceled. The next one could feature a Los Angeles so overrun by Terminators that the robots have their own city.

romantic comedy suggests it had moments of romance and amusement, though, and it didn't - the closest it came was a naked couple awkwardly mashing their junk together while floating in a time portal and arnold saying 'theoretically' nine hundred times

Erections achieved

terminator: genisys gave you a boner?

Nah. This movie could be fun for a Rifftrax tho

as a longtime nerd, will i find anything to enjoy or pass?

You'll enjoy the ridiculousness of it. Or if not then you'll enjoy nerdfully picking apart the time-space plot holes.

Kind of sad they won't make a sequel to this that everyone can point at and feel superior to.

obviously, i thought it was terrible, but it's not going to retroactively affect my enjoyment of the first couple of movies or anything. it's probably worth a watch if you keep your expectations increidbly low and you're not going to have a nerd-rage aneurism about the movie ripping up the admittedly already fairly tattered) terminator universe rulebook

You'll enjoy the ridiculousness of it. Or if not then you'll enjoy nerdfully picking apart the time-space plot holes.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, October 9, 2015 4:39 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's just it though. I couldn't give a fuck about "plot holes" - the story on its face never stood up to close examination to begin with. The idea of humans being able to survive in post-nuclear annihilation ruins with barely any tangible food and somehow win a war with robots with superior firepower was always far-fetched.

the mythos is part of what made the first Terminator movies great, but the whole reason T1 is superior to T2 is because they don't spend a fucking half an hour talking about it. Reese gets it out of the way, and we move on with the movie.

Really, the problem with the newest Terminator is that it's so god-damned SILLY. The script is peppered with cornball "wink wink" jokes that make it sound like the screenwriters aren't taking it seriously, which is a cop out. Jai Courtney is just a black hole, one of the most boring actors in recent memory. I love Emilia Clarke, but she was completely wrong for Sarah Connor. She came across as a stroppy twenty-something with Adult Problems more than some beleaguered soldier.

The action sequences were also completely terrible. There was one car chase that looked like a screensaver from Windows 95, the CGI was so bad. the ending sequence was so protracted and ridiculous.

T1 survived on tight action sequences, great character moments (Reece's nightmares of war in the car, his bewilderment at pre-war life, Sarah's gradual transition to being a badass), the humor's there when it needs to be ("FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE"). T2 lost a little in its bombast but still had some iconic scenes, advanced CGI (for the time), well-choreographed chase scenes...

This movie was just a bunch of fucking white people running around for 2 hours

I wanted some sweet fan fiction and they take out a T-800 and T-1000 in the first forty-five minutes. Good enough.

this is my dad's favourite movie of the year

would make a great twofer with Pixels

that's just mean

every franchise gets the Batman & Robin it deserves

tho of all the franchises to find itself in dire need of a grim'n'gritty reboot...

they should get Cristiano Ronaldo to play a T-3000

Really, the problem with the newest Terminator is that it's so god-damned SILLY.

No, all these movies are silly. That is not the problem with this film.

This one is almost entirely shot like a television show - every frame is straight out of a mid-00s ensemble cop series, pick your favorite CSI / NCIS / L&O etc. Even the cast are all TV people! I cannot figure out what they spent the money on, unless it just costs a lot more to rent the Golden Gate Bridge than I think it does.

- they play the cops theme tune when the heroes are getting their mugshots taken ffs!

me otm tbh

yep. also did you ever find out where Pops came from? I'm struggling with that one too

Boston.

i’m sure it’ll be explained in the sequel

imo they just send people and terminators in a haphazard fashion as the future is constantly changing

feel like this would make a good board game. spend three metal points to build a terminator, spend one energy point to send him back to some time in the past which earns you two victory points. where do the terminators go? who cares! what matters is sending them.

it could be battleship-style, but with the caveat you can move the ships around

eventually every single character except sarah connor is a terminator

spoiler alert: at the end it turns out sarah was a super-advanced terminator all along, capable of reproduction, and skynet impregnates her and gives birth to itself

has anybody watched this pile of shit a second time?

Guilh

Guilty, i meant

Pretty sure I bought it a second time (albeit for about 50p) because I couldn't remember if I'd seen it.

Still enjoy the terminator cutting his way through Border Patrol motherfuckers like a knife through butter

that’s in dark fate! dark fate is a pretty good movie

Oh! Genisys is the one with gym-toned dumbfuck Kyle Reese! I'd forgotten that one existed.