I had this nightmare that rock critics were trying to beat me to death

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Everett True was hiding behind a door in my house, awaiting me with a bat. He swung. And I ran. Ran until I was in my backyard. But Michelangelo Matos was waiting for me. "If you submit quietly, I won't sic Jann Wenner on you," he sneered.
"Never!" I cried out, and began running, crying out for help. I saw Josh Kortbein crouching in the corner of my lawn. "Help!" I screamed.
"I'm with them," he said, his eyes narrowing as he got up from his position. So I kept running.
Mark Sinker was running at me with a sickle. I ducked, and it became stuck in the dirt. "Do you see what you've done?" he screamed, and stared at the sky.
Simon Reynolds smashed a large cinder block atop my head right before I woke up.

The worst part is, I'm not joking at all.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Monday, 19 August 2002 02:50 (twenty-three years ago)

mark surely said DO YOU SEE in capitals though

― ron (ron), Monday, 19 August 2002 03:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not a rock critic! take that back!

― Josh (Josh), Monday, 19 August 2002 03:19 (twenty-three years ago)

HA HA

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 August 2002 03:28 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a pity Robert Christgau wasn't there, you could have made like Thurston Moore and beaten him to death w/yr wanger. If you don't know the SY songtitle that probably sounded quite seedy.

― Andrew Thames, Monday, 19 August 2002 03:35 (twenty-three years ago)

"no muscle is stronger than the human heart"

"what about the weiner?"

― Josh (Josh), Monday, 19 August 2002 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Jess was the good angel saving Melissa from the Nasties.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 19 August 2002 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

again, i repeat, HA HA

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 19 August 2002 15:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Or not.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 19 August 2002 15:32 (twenty-three years ago)

It could have been worse -- there could have been doompatrol. Or that dog apologists, or pitchfork writers. The list goes on...

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 19 August 2002 20:35 (twenty-three years ago)

there could have been d**mp****l

I give it a week before he starts posting again.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 19 August 2002 22:28 (twenty-three years ago)

melissa do you really know what all those people look like or did you just mysteriously know who they were?

― duane, Monday, 19 August 2002 22:29 (twenty-three years ago)

i never remember my dreams, but i too had one with weapons & violent death in it last night.

― duane, Monday, 19 August 2002 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Was it like Mel's or were you doing the attacking?

― Graham (graham), Monday, 19 August 2002 22:33 (twenty-three years ago)

melissa do you really know what all those people look like or did you just mysteriously know who they were?

Just mysteriously knew who they all were.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Monday, 19 August 2002 22:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Was it like Mel's or were you doing the attacking?
i was being threatened but i think i pointed a gun at someone & someone got killed but they weren't even human it turned out after they were dead. it was all pretty confused & nonsensical.

― duane, Monday, 19 August 2002 23:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Better doompatrol than some other little shebas I can think of.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 19 August 2002 23:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I AM NOT A ROCK CRITIC

― Josh (Josh), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 01:30 (twenty-three years ago)

You wear glasses and write about post-rock = you are a rock critic.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 01:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't wear glasses! ha

― Josh (Josh), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 02:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Wearing glasses is secondary, you got yourself in the trap now indirectly admitting you do write about post-rock

― Chupa-Cabras (vicc13), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 02:20 (twenty-three years ago)

(Mel = greatest thing ever, btw)

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 03:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Wearing glasses is secondary, you got yourself in the trap now indirectly admitting you do write about post-rock

Mhaha, my little ruse worked perfectly. Now if only Josh would step a little bit closer to the tank full of sharks with laser beams on their heads...

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 11:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Mel = greatest thing ever, btw

But of course!

Josh is secretly Bettina what runs Thrill Jockey.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 14:35 (twenty-three years ago)

fuck off and die raggett

that's TEN

― Josh (Josh), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 14:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Lord, man! I thought the summer break was supposed to relax you when you're at grad school.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 14:45 (twenty-three years ago)

what are you gonna do? release the dogs? or the bees? or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

― Josh (Josh), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 14:47 (twenty-three years ago)

"I am not a rock critic"

translation: I am in denial. heheh

― nathalie (nathalie), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 14:48 (twenty-three years ago)

come on girls! shake that butter off those buns!

― richard (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

This image pleases me greatly. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 14:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks Josh, now trying to identify where that line comes from is going to consume me for the next hour.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 15:02 (twenty-three years ago)

(Or maybe five seconds; thanks Google!)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 15:03 (twenty-three years ago)

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