The greatest hits of LZ Granderson, CNN.com columninst

This guy appears to be the king of being a well-intentioned knucklehead. Let us celebrate him here.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/05/19/granderson.black.women/index.html?hpt=C2

This is tame and not really objectionable until he starts blaming black men for racism against black women.

I mostly know his work at ESPN, where he writes strange articles like this one:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=granderson/070312

i didn't realize this guy wrote non-sports columns!

Heck, I haven't slept with a woman of any color in years because, well, I'm gay.

thanks for letting us know!

here is the ever-classic "Parents, don't dress your daughters like tramps" article:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/19/granderson.children.dress/index.html?iref=allsearch

noble enough sentiment, horrible horrible HORRIBLE execution

here LZ recommends instituting nu-Jim Crow laws, only applying them to everyone instead of only black people:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/12/granderson.ignorant.vote/index.html?iref=allsearch

again, there is a nugget of reasonableness there that is drowned by a veritable tidal wave of WTF???????????

OMG how does this guy have a real career? Also, NAGL to call the 8 year-old the "sexiest", even if it serves your point.

he writes like he's never actually talked to another person

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/05/granderson.goldberg.trump/index.html?iref=allsearch

here he inverts his usual style by getting the grandiose conclusion-jumping out of the way up front, then tying it into an entirely reasonable point about how experience shapes perception and how any sensible/serious discussion of race needs to take that into consideration

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/03/02/granderson.sheen/index.html?iref=allsearch

I read this through twice and the only reaction I could muster was "... well DUH"

CHALLENGING OPINIONS on music!

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/02/16/granderson.grammy.generations/index.html?iref=allsearch

in this op-ed piece, LZ tells us how a PSA featuring Barbara Bush the Younger endorsing gay marriage is a death knell for President Obama

yes, really

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/02/02/granderson.barbara.bush/index.html?iref=allsearch

a wholly sensible piece? GET OUT

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/06/07/granderson.circumcision.ballot/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/05/31/granderson.rape.abortion/index.html?iref=obinsite

bold opening paragraph, LZ

http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/01/opinion/granderson-right-lane/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

... help me, I agree with this column entirely

yeah, but that's some high-school newspaper shit, though. How is he getting paid by CNN?

this column is otm but generally this guy is pretty unbelievable

yeah, but that's some high-school newspaper shit, though. How is he getting paid by CNN?

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Tuesday, November 1, 2011 12:00 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

you answered your own question fyi

the "story highlights" and photo captions on cnn.com never fail to amus

the "story highlights" and photo captions on cnn.com never fail to anus

Editor's note: LZ Granderson, who writes a weekly column for CNN.com, was named journalist of the year by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association and is a 2011 Online Journalism Award finalist for commentary. He is a senior writer and columnist for ESPN the Magazine and ESPN.com and the 2009 winner of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation award for online journalism. Follow him on Twitter at @locs_n_laughs

editor's note: despite what you may be thinking, this guy is pretty good

i went down to get breakfast in the cafe in the lobby of my old office building and there was this TV placed on the wall so when you were walking out the door you would be staring right at it, and one day i turned around and LZ was on CNN and i was all "LZ!!!" -- idk why it stuck w/ me

haha goole OTM

http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/110913115527-lz-granderson-portrait-left-tease.jpg

I have an enter key.

It's on my keyboard, right there.

I really like to use it.

the "story highlights" and photo captions on cnn.com never fail to amus

haha I love these. they will do six bullet points to sum up a 200-word article.

this guy is such an idiot <3

is his real name LZ or is LZ short for something

I hope it's just LZ

It is short for Lulz.

http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2011/11/16/my-first-thanksgiving-with-white-people/?hpt=hp_c3

YOU GUYS

AMAZEBALLS IS THE ONLY APPROPRIATE WORD FOR THIS

Why was it white?

Why was it smooth?

Kickin' in the front seat

Sittin' in the back seat

hold on who eats potato salad on thxgiving

white ppl amirite

what a bizarre & terrible column! if it wasn't for bland white people potato salad, he wouldn't be the adventurous eater that he is today? okay!

i think he may have confused "potato salad" and "mashed potatoes" based on the visual description.

what a bizarre & terrible column!

Create a macro for that, you're going to need it.

i was thinking that, but i'm not really sure how that's even possible

xp

it is possible because lz granderson is really stupid? idk.

my family eats potato salad on Thanksgiving

i mean, "smooth" is not a word i would ever attach to any version of potato salad.

well it's one thing to be stupid. it's another thing to not know the difference between mashed potatoes and potato salad.

having grown up in a state where 80% of the meals aren't considered healthy unless they contain cans of cream of mushroom and cream of celery soup, I can believe that someone would serve cold mashed potatoes as "potato salad"

man... the idea of lz granderson not having come across smooth mashed potatoes on thxgiving and then sitting down at this table and being like "what is this demon smooth potato salad?!?!" is insanely hilarious

holy lord the comments

ps he'd never had pumpkin pie before that?? damn

I loved that his first reaction upon seeing the food was "wow these people all hate each other"

also lol @ the idea that EVERYONE cooks chitlins

i love the photo they chose, too -- "here, eat a white person's pumpkin pie"

#
Mikequerey

So....what about the white guy who goes over to have his first thanksgiving with black people? Gasp! Is there no such thing? Seriously though, if blacks want equality they're really going to have to stop segregating themselves and playing the race card.
November 16, 2011 at 11:20 am | Reply

#
Speculator

Why is it all you ever write about is blacks and gays? Just because you are both doesn't make you any less of a bigot and a racist!
November 16, 2011 at 11:20 am | Reply

jesus christ this country

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

I dont care for Thanksgiving if you eat Pork, Chicken or Fish! This day is about celebrating with family and friends and being thankful for being able to do so! I don't care if you are White, Black, Purple, Blue, Tangerine or Yellow as this is insignificant! Come on Granderson stop wearing your ethinicity on your sleeve as I am also African-American and don't care what is served as long as there are good people to break bread with. You need to check yourself!

Speculator

^ otm

pro-tip: don't go too deeply into LZ's comments as they are destined to be super racist/homophobic

Man_of_GOD
Never trust a man who believes another man's butt is a vajina! I spelled incorrectly because CNN will block it!

November 16, 2011 at 10:28 am | Reply

Dumb article

One of the stupidest, most pointless things I've ever read.
November 16, 2011 at 11:27 am | Reply

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9kpTvm6CYA

okay granted sometimes you will find hilarity like crut's example

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

LB

Have to be honest when i first started reading the article I was offended, Im white.

okay I lolled:

Charlie

I don't read his columns anymore. I just jump down to the comments area and call him a racist.

omg

Sweat Potato

For Thanksgiving our family goes a more traditional route. We invite Native Americans over and give them blankets with small pox on them. Happy Thanksgiving!!! Ahhh, the memories.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Gigi

I am disappointed at this article as it is from an award winning journalist.

Mikequerey
#

bob

Thanksgiving is a travesty. It is basically celebrating the genocide of millions of natives at the hands of the evil white people
November 16, 2011 at 11:13 am | Reply

Darryl

You're education must not have made it past kindergarten...I learned what Thanksgiving was about in Grade One. – Go back to school idiot.
November 16, 2011 at 11:20 am | Reply

this is easily one of my favorite comment sections of all time

Steve

Not too many people made it to the end of the article, I see.
Reminds me of when Shirley Sherrod was embroiled in a racism scandal.

classic finish to this one:

Narcosis70

Very nice story. I'm afraid, though, that some people are missing the point entirely. This isn't a story about race at all, it's about culture. As a white American, I'm sure I would feel just as awkward as the author were I to attend a large holiday meal with a family in France, Germany, or Italy.
November 16, 2011 at 11:09 am | Reply

*
ItsAlwaysAboutRace

Wake up and remove the sugar coating... This writer is ALWAYS about a race card, nothing more and nothing less. LZ Granderson is the biggest POS writing for CNN. EVERYTHING spewing from his mouth is about race, racists, or the ever so common – I was wronged before I was born BS. It's people like him who create issues today because they live in the past and open wounds for the less educated to grasp and run with. I wish they would remove this clown from writing all together...IMHO – 99% of the time, the finger pointer is normally the one with race issues.
November 16, 2011 at 11:15 am | Reply

i am having too much fun with this

hamlet

Just for the record, I'm white, and we have collards at Thanksgiving. Infact, I'm eating some right now... Not sure why this writer thinks only blacks eat collards and/or soul food.
November 16, 2011 at 11:07 am | Reply

*
Open-Minded

He stated in the article that it was because of his limited world view at the time.
November 16, 2011 at 11:09 am | Reply
o
jo

at the time? He's still shut in a racist, gay world.
November 16, 2011 at 11:11 am |

omg "a racist, gay world"

^ needs the voice of Don LaFontaine

yes!

"in a racist, gay world / one man / will have his first thanksgiving / with WHITE PEOPLE"

http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/110913115527-lz-granderson-portrait-left-tease.jpg

terrible, racist, gay, homo, awful, thanks, giving

http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/07/opinion/granderson-welfare-strip-club-law/index.html

(CNN) -- I believe it was the great American philosopher Kenny Rogers, who, while meditating on the nuances of Darwinism, gave the world this piece of advice:

"You got to know when to hold 'em/Know when to fold 'em/Know when to walk away/Know when to run."

Any Democrat who might want to challenge a Republican-led effort to ban welfare recipients from spending federal aid in strip clubs and casinos needs to fold 'em.

Walk away.

Run.

(CNN) -- I don't know if it's sexism or wisdom or just plain fear, but men have been socialized to avoid saying two words in the presence of women.

The first is "fat."

I know I don't go there.

And I don't see a good reason why any man should.

When women use the word around me I pretend not to hear it, and if asked a question with the word "fat" in it, I sneeze in my hand and then ask for a tissue. Juvenile, yes, but it allows me to change the subject without having to answer the question. And I don't ever want to answer that question.

Speaking of questions, the second word we should all stay away from is "weave."

^^ erma bombeckian

Glenn Greenwald discovers LZ Granderson. The result is not pretty.

Oof that is a doozy even for LZ

haha LZ. poor guy.