Describe a TV Show to Someone Who Doesn't Know It (And Lie)

Parks & Recreation: Titular characters Alex Parks and Sam Recreation solve crimes in a sleepy Los Angeles suburb.

Bones: Every week a new character at Miss Bones Retirement Community shares their story, through flashbacks, of how they succeeded in the world and made their "bones."

Unique Sweets: Spinoff from Bones starring Dr. Lance Sweets.

Castle: Network original drama about a Germanic Lord living on the periphery of the Ottoman Empire in the 14th century.

The State: MTV's close documentary-style look at power and authority in late Capitalism written by Seymour Hersh.

The Simpsons: a reality TV program about OJ and his kids trying to keep in touch.

The Hills: 10 people are put on a desolate hill top and made to make their way back to humanity. Without food, will they turn on each other, even look to barbaric acts such as cannibalism?

The Cleveland Show: Michael Moore's television project where he examines the failure and disintegration of urban life in Cleveland, OH.

Grey's Anatomy: The sexy, startling life of trail-blazing anatomist and surgeon Henry Gray.

Survivor: Osbournes-style reality show with 80s aor giants

The Soprano's: A reality show which follows a group of castrated men living out their daily lives.

The Wire: an intense, well-researched drama about avant-garde music and its socio-economic inequities viewed through the lens of the cerebral British magazine on the subject.

Californication: Follows American multiplatinum artists the Red Hot Chili Peppers as they record and tour behind their newest projects.

Weeds: Follows a landscape company and their search for a weed free lawn

Family Guy: The show is about a fictional fundamentalist Mormon family in Utah that practices polygamy. Family Guy stars Bill Paxton, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloë Sevigny, Ginnifer Goodwin, Douglas Smith, Bruce Dern, Grace Zabriskie, Mary Kay Place, Matt Ross, and Cassi Thomson.

M*A*S*H: a savvy team of interior decorators revamp a new mansion, apartment, shack or house with a budget of $4077 weekly

lol @ MASH

The Closer: spin-off based on Glengarry Glen Ross starring Mariano Rivera in the Pacino role

Two and a Half Men: After a terrible accident involving an experimental garage door, two men, formerly bitter enemies, must work together to dispose of a mutilated pair of legs without getting caught. This is the plot for every episode, each time an accident with the same experimental garage door, with a different victim.

Cougar Town: Zoologist Maxwell Town tries to balance his complicated family, his miserable dating life, and his work at the Bronx Zoo.

Jersey Shore: live webcam broadcast of the jersey shore.

The Big Bang Theory: Stephen Hawking's witty, casual weekly roundtable about the genesis of our Universe is one of Network's most watched television programs.

two and a half men - genius

Fringe - A hard-hitting weekly documentary series following the lives of ten men and women who have given their lives over to their political beliefs, serving in the "fringe" elements of both the far-left and the far-right.

Would watch that Fringe ^

Justified: Gritty, stylish show about backwoods typographers.

lol @ Justified

game of thrones: a children's show using the musical chairs to teach bathroom etiquette and reinforce potty training routine. featuring sean bean.

Charmed: Juvenile offenders are given a second chance at Miss Cathry's infamously rigorous and tough Charm School.

My Two Dads: Watch as Ned and Dan raise a teenage goth played by Emanuel Lewis.

^^ would DVR

sesame street: mediterranean open-air cooking

I Love the 90s: explicit HBO drama starring Charlie Sheen as a man addicted to nonagenarian sex

Jim Lehrer NewsHour: This is a porno.

lol

Hogan's Heroes: the travails of an old-school neighborhood deli trying to survive in a gentrified Brooklyn overrun with obnoxious foodies.

deadwood: the inside story of erectile disfunction

My Two Dads: Watch as Ned and Dan raise a teenage goth played by Emanuel Lewis.

The very special episodes are the ones to watch.

True Blood: The untold story of Mary, Queen of Scots

Welcome Back Kotter : gritty documentary about the release of prisoner Gabe Kotter who was wrongly imprisoned for a crime he did not commit.

Lou Grant: Young reformed hopefuls compete for the chance to win a scholarship from benefactor Lou Reed.

Planet Earth: each week, another frame of Duran Duran's breakthrough video debut is analyzed for hidden meaning.

No Reservations: Paripatetic host Anthony Bourdain travels to Indian Reservations throughout the U.S. and records and produces albums by local musicians.

The A-Team: an uplifting family dramady about the trials and tribulations of a high school knowledge bowl team

lolling so hard at jersey shore

Extreme Couponing: Travelogue set in the well-known Chinese province; hosted by Gary Cherone

The Brady Bunch: A fictionalized account of the lives, loves, and travails of the White House insiders that brought about the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act.

Iron Chef: Each week Alton Brown demonstrates how to get the wrinkles out of all kinds of unnecessarily unflat food, like lettuce.

haha!~

Mythbustes: Venkman and Spengler are back, and this time they're taking on Medusa!

Fox and Friends: Michael J. Fox discusses the weather with his neighbors.

Three's Company: A fateful plane crash leaves college junior Morton Eisenberg III in charge of his family's multi-million dollar textile company. Can the young executive navigate the oddball advice of his wacky board of trustees and win over his skeptical new employees?

The Biggest Loser: Dane Cook just can't win.

V: An ambitious attempt to bring Thomas Pynchon's sprawling 1963 debut novel to the small screen.

Fuck me, should have read the whole thread.

Doctor Who - Avian veterinarian Mary Tamm travels England's backroads, barns, and abandoned quarries saving the lives of wounded owls. Sunday at 7pm et/pt on Animal Planet

Family Affair: Sly and the Family Stone rely on the services of their manservant, Mr French.

Twin Peaks: light-hearted farce in which Bill Peak (Andre the Giant) and his twin brother Tom (Shaquille O'Neal) try and inevitably fail to get through doors without ducking their heads.

Leave it to Beaver - this is a porno

BJ and the Bear.

So totally a porno.

This thread made returning to work after a week off much easier to bear.

All In The Family: Louis Theroux follows and films the lives of an incestuous brother and sister.

Small Wonder: A dwarf with the power of healing lives nomadically and brings comfort to those in need. directed by JJ Abrams

Monk: a tiresome retread of Cadfael in which a medieval monk solves crimes that occur in and around his monastery.

Mystery Science Theatre 3000: Someone is killed inside a movie theatre in the year 3000, and it can only be solved...by science.

The Wire: A documentary miniseries by Ken Burns about the invention of the telegraph and how it transformed America forever.

Twin Peaks: A woman uses a boob job to advance herself in the entertainment industry.

The O'Reilly Factor: a hard-hitting news magazine show that deals only in fact and maintains a policy of "no spin."

DuckTales: The animated adventures of Ducktails, a teenage chillwave band and their sidekick The Neon Indian, as they travel into the Altered Zones to battle the evil lord Wavves and his robotic cat "Snacks."

Mythbusters: A team of historians and anthropologists uncover the origins and discuss the underlying symbolism and importance of the world's great mythologies, "busting" open a subject often seen as too academic for a popular audience.

Mad Men: a weekly public affairs debate program moderated by John McLaughlin

Malcolm in the Middle: television adaptation of beloved cinematic classic The Human Centipede.

The Prisoner: Recently freed P.O.W. John Drake moves to the sleepy Welsh village of Portmeirion to relax and enjoy his retirement. A recurring gag revolves around a white beach ball that blew away from him one day, but that he can never quite catch as the wind blows it by.

Dirty Jobs: a children's cartoon about a young Steve Jobs tinkering with electronics in his bedroom and concocting elaborate plans to avoid bathing

Maude: Simpsons spinoff porno

Ax Men: AMCs new comedy-horror about a duo of psychotically hilarious ax murderers and their many misadventures.

American Pickers: an historical drama set on a cotton plantation in the antebellum south.

Breaking Bad--syndicated tv spinoff of Breakin' movie series...

Making the Ban(ne)d--Hosted by C. Weingarten, needs no description.

The Price Is Right - a highbrow Sunday roundtable discussion show focusing on current economic issues.

Undercover Boss: Bruce Springsteen is a crime-fighting master of disguise.

Friends - a post-modern "cool" cartoon (think Ninja Turtles for the 21st Century) that centers on an ass-kicking group of righteous rats - the Friends - which stands for "Flying Rodents Incapacitating Evil Nazi Doctor Squirrels" - sponsored by the Anti-Vivisection League

friday the 13th: series based on the movies.

the real world: documentary series chronicling the transition into adulthood as post-adolescents grapple with quotidian realities such as housing, employment, and navigating the difficult yet rewarding terrain of mature relationships.

parker lewis can't lose: seven-time world poker alliance champion parker lewis takes on an array of amateur and celebrity challengers, on espn 2.

parking wars: reality show focusing on affluent neighborhoods where battles wage over the scarce street parking. who will win in this ultimate death match between NIMBY permit holders and the bridge-and-tunnel density-hawk trash who insist on driving to *our* restaurants and parking in *our* spaces? (the meter maids all agree: there will be hell to pay if you ticket an actual rich person.)

Britain's got Talent - this is a porno

The Apprentice - TV show about one person hired at a vastly reduced salary, and his attempts to induce up to nine other people to join him in the quest to cross the london footbridge in 10 weeks time.

Fingerbobs : This isn't a porno, oh wait...

Teletubbies: a documentary about the dangers of obesity as a result of watching too much TV.

The Weakest Link: A sitcom from the 1970's starring Robin Williams as a failing architect and hopeless romantic. Every episode ended with Robin screwing up his latest building designs before heading out across the Golden Gate Bridge whilst stuffing his hands into the pockets of his puffer bodywarmer, letting out a gentle and wistful sigh.

The Dick Van Dyke Show: that's right, another porno.

The Double Deckers.

(are we starting that separate thread or wot?)

House: PBS's fly-on-the-wall documentary following a yuppie couple who buys and renovates a house in a gentrifying neighborhood.

Celebrity Big Brother: CBBC show where some kid who is forever getting bullied at school gets Christopher Biggins to kick their asses.

Babylon 5: a reality show about a group of rag-tag rastafarians who go on a search for their roots, with hilarious results.

xpost

friday the 13th: series based on the movies.

Ha!

Law & Order: Two Fascist enforcers/bounty hunters - one named Law, one named Order - roam the post-apocalyptic future, enacting their particular brand of justice.

Futurama: futures traders battle it out on Wall St for the title of stock trader of the year.

Dr Who - Walthamstow GP suffering from both Schizophrenia and Alzheimer's goes on retreat to Skyros to find himself, herself.

Skins: offbeat family drama in the vein of Six Feet Under about a 30-something recently-ex Wall Street bigshot who returns to his Indiana hometown to work in his family's taxidermy business.

The IT Crowd: enthusiastic fans of Stephen King's bestselling novel journey on a pilgrimage to Derry, Maine in search of their own lost childhoods.

Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares: exciting spin-off of Garth Marenghi's Dark Places, where strange culinary horrors are taking place in a haunted kitchen above a demonic hellmouth