Why didn't anyone ever tell me...

... that if you buy croissants at the grocery store, they taste 1000x better if you put them in the toaster oven for a minute or two? Years of disappointment that could have been avoided.

i can't believe u didn't know that

why didn't anyone ever tell me that HealthNut bread was so. good.

here's something else you should know: once the croissant is warm, put some butter on it.

Now wondering what else I don't know..

the flavored rice you can buy (like $2 for a packet of rice and some powered chicken flavor or whatever) is like 5x better if you add Sriracha hot sauce to it

Last year I found out that there is a piercing device built into tubes that have a foil cover! Years and years of getting annoyed and looking for a knife to do the piercing could have been avoided.

I can't believe you didn't know that!

My dad didn't know either, it's nurture not nature.

why didn't anyone tell me daisy duke is not a real person

That is sad.

did you know aluminum foil boxes have flaps on the side you can push into the roll and then the foil doesn't come flying out of the box when you try to tear off a piece

^^ was thinking this exact thing, revolutionary to me but my friends laughed at my delight

the flavored rice you can buy (like $2 for a packet of rice and some powered chicken flavor or whatever) is like 5x better if you add Sriracha hot sauce to it

you are piling msg on top of msg . still probably doesn't amount to what's in a bowl of pho, but man. no matter how much i hear that alleged effects of msg are all in the head i swear that when i eat stuff with msg in it i feel like i am vibrating for a half hour afterwards. not sure if that is a healthy reaction to have to foodstuff

no cancel that . there is no msg in rooster sauce.

but i still wanna scold you for eating powdered chicken

Things you were shockingly old when you learned

get the fuck outta here! I totally did not know that about tin foil boxes!

I never knew chickens are actually all -uni-gender - they only become roosters when you feed them alfalfa

believe it. just like the thing about aardvarks and two-legged termites.

The tin foil thing (which I think is also standard with, like, plastic wrap and wax paper and whatnot) is like a Magic Eye picture. Once seen, you can't believe you'd been missing it the whole time.

i'm not eating that stuff on the reg but when you want a cheap and quick way to make chicken-fried rice it's not bad

i'm not judging. not celebrating either. just looking for a void in which to fulfill my schoolmarmish tendencies

I dont need any god damn cardboard side push in to keep the roll in place- no body does it better - they know me - I keep it in avery timew
I WIN ALL

The tin foil thing (which I think is also standard with, like, plastic wrap and wax paper and whatnot) is like a Magic Eye picture. Once seen, you can't believe you'd been missing it the whole time.

i am so bad at geometry and related euclidian arts that i can't even close a box of pizza properly. wouldyabelieve that expecting me to understand that aluminum foil box post is pushing the limits of even this superman

Latham Green is the Carly Simon of aluminum foil box manicuring

I still cant do magic eye pictures. :(

me neither. I think its impossible if you have a dominant eye.

Last year I found out that there is a piercing device built into tubes that have a foil cover! Years and years of getting annoyed and looking for a knife to do the piercing could have been avoided.

But using the pointy thing in the lid to pierce the seal is something that gives me an inexplicable rush of pleasure. Such a small thing to do but so satisfying. Sometimes I wish I had some gross fungal infections so that I would need more tubes and have the chance to do it more often.

holy shit that tin foil thing

I also learned that you can make a "mask " of tinfoil if you want to be mr wrinkley robot!

that's so sexist. why can't someone be ms. wrinkley robot? you insensitive clod

http://img1.tvloop.com/img/showpics/18/2b/l33d940d20000_2_8329.jpg

The Latham Greens of this world would have the ladies in crinkly wax paper I suppose

do they even make wax paper in muted pastels?

make yr own!

http://www.ehow.com/how_5110150_make-wax-paper.html

pretty sure we did this in elementary school, but with colored crayons

^^ sorry for use of "royal we" . it's been a long afternoon

wait did you bring up carly simon cuz once you know that mick jagger sings on you're so vain that's all you can hear every time you hear the song? like the magic eye of pop songs. you probably didn't mean that. but that blew my mind years ago. i literally had my mind blown. i had never ever ever heard him on that song and now he's all i hear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6UAYGxiRwU&feature=related

probably the single most amazing moment in my life. sitting in a car with my brother and he says something about mick and i go huh? and he says mick! he's singing right now! and i listen and the clouds part and my mind is on the floor of the car. life is so fucking staggering.

haha ha

is the verdict that it's actually about warren beatty??

and have people sampled the beginning very much??

Magic eye pics never work. Somehow, half of the people in the world are playing a massive trick on the other half by saying that they can see images and 3D pics. There are no pics there at all.

How did you people arrange this massive deceptive joke? Do you laugh as we non-seers squint and cross our eyes at random blobs?

I wish someone told me about those tin foil flaps before I fucked up my current roll! WTF?

Bloody hell! Mick Jagger is singing on "You're So Vain"! I'm going to phone my sister and tell her!

Magic Eye pictures, pah...I bet if you do see them they are just as disappointing as movies in 3D.

wait did you bring up carly simon cuz once you know that mick jagger sings on you're so vain that's all you can hear every time you hear the song? like the magic eye of pop songs. you probably didn't mean that. but that blew my mind years ago. i literally had my mind blown. i had never ever ever heard him on that song and now he's all i hear.

haha i played this for my mom and her face was literally O_O

you probably didn't mean that.

nah, i was actually referencing Latham Green's braggadocio re: aluminum foil cartons "nobody does it bettter". but yeah, how did jac get him to sing on that? take it to ilm, boys

Yeah, there's absolutely nothing exciting about Magic Eye pictures outside of that revelatory moment when you finally see it. Then it's like, "Oh, look, a vaguely 3-D football. Yay?"

the 2D background usually gives away the plot before you even have time to cross your eyes. look at the stylized pattern of waves and seashells and starfish...now give a thousand-yard stare and slowly move away from the seascape and...OH SHIT IS THAT A DOLPHIN? never woulda guessed.

There are a lot of nifty opening devices built into packaging that i just completely ignore. "Peel Here" "No thanks, i'll just stab it with a knife"

yeah screwdriver too

it's like how english muffins always seem stale until you toast them, and then they taste delicious

― Garyln (La Lechera), Wednesday, June 15, 2011 11:02 AM (18 minutes ago)

also true of stollen which I thought was desiccant for the mouth until I toasted a piece

really relived that YKK doesn't stand for "Young Klux Klan"

in the mouth a desert (until toasted)

English Muffins should never be eaten raw.

Oh, screwdriver or hammer...will remember that. It's just that a butter knife is a multi-functional tool, in that it's good for scraping paint bits off hard floors.

Speaking of Elvis Costello, howzabout the fact that his first album was basically Elvis Costello and the News?

Except it was Clover, without Huey. I don't know if that means the same personnel as The News, but still..

how did huey lewis feel about this?

this technique is nearly useless nowadays but: instead of trying to tear off that sticker/plastic strip at the top of cd cases, unhinge the bottom of the jewel case and it'll come off no prob.

^^^

This was such a happy revelation when I learned it.

Yes! I still remember the person who taught me how to do that.

is there an equivalent for dvd cases?

with dvds i just use the tip of a steak knife or something else very thin and sharp

so...no

if someone knows a tip for getting open those thick plastic cases that lots of crap comes in (eg electric razors, gps's, ipod nanos etc), i'd be eternally grateful.

Flamethrower

ty!

In case nobody ever told y'all that the little 2 1/4" Swiss Army knife is the most useful tool in existence, let me be the first.

Also, it's not too hard to get it through airport security if you have a carry-on with a metal-framed pull-out handle.

I have had so many of those confiscated by airport / museum / amusement park security, I've lost count

It may be harder now -- I haven't tried in a few years. I left it at home last year on the LV/NM trip.

i remember when my sister taught me to pinch both sides of a bag of chips at the top and pull until the bag popped open. it was as if god had shown me how the planet had been made.

open banana that way too

What were you doing before?

eat ing them peel and all

http://honolulu.jollypeople.com/files/2009/12/021304stomp.jpg
xpost

open banana that way too

I just pull the stem back and down

Oh, y'all know about the peeling a banana from the bottom thing? Apparently, this is how apes do it in the wild or something? And they use the stem as a handle? At any rate, you don't get the stringy bits when you do it that way.

supposedly if you blink slowly and repeatedly at cats, it'll relax them and they'll do it back at you. haven't got this to work though. maybe my cats are duds.

it helps if both you and the cat are high

ah those lil fuckers must not be inhaling then

the blinking at cats thing is true - well narrowing your eyes, they see it as a sign of respect. Might not work with lions/tigers etc.

Totally works. Blinking and squinting (and yawning) are signs that you're relaxed and that, in turn, relaxes the cat.

cats r classic

I think it's a submission thing, as in you're allowing them carte blanche to smack you in the face, and thus are admitting they are the dominant animal. The reason why this doesn't always work is that some cats just want to take the opportunity to smack you in the face.

Oh, y'all know about the peeling a banana from the bottom thing? Apparently, this is how apes do it in the wild or something? And they use the stem as a handle?

yeah, you pinch the top (other end from the stem) to open it. but you have to deal with that bitter spike thing that otherwise gets left at the bottom.

how did huey lewis feel about this?

― resonate with awesomeness (jel --), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 15:30 (53 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

He felt pretty good, he got a free holiday..

Had to check my jacket immediately after reading that zipper/YKK thing...and, yep.

my zipper is made by "Best Brands and Family SHletershoud"

Oh and here's something else - don't bake with tinfoil underneath the stuff you're baking if you can possibly avoid it. For shielding, wrapping, sure - but for underneath I found out that parchment paper is 1000x more effective. Nothing sticks to it! Your fish sticks and pizza crusts will be perfectly crispy brown and not get torn to pieces or have embedded bits of foil. This revelation was life changing!

this technique is nearly useless nowadays but: instead of trying to tear off that sticker/plastic strip at the top of cd cases, unhinge the bottom of the jewel case and it'll come off no prob.

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, June 15, 2011 10:31 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark

Oh man, I'll never forget when my dad showed me this and WHOA, I can never go back.

In case nobody ever told y'all that the little 2 1/4" Swiss Army knife is the most useful tool in existence, let me be the first.

Also, it's not too hard to get it through airport security if you have a carry-on with a metal-framed pull-out handle.

― Mr. Patrick Batman (WmC), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 15:46 (2 days ago) Bookmark

I have mine on my keyring and twice (actually four times) now I've put it in the box for the scanner thingy and it's got through. Gets lost amongst the keys I guess. (note: I haven't done this deliberately, just noticed afterwards because as WmC says these things are amazingly useful and I would be sad to lose it).

Oh and here's something else - don't bake with tinfoil underneath the stuff you're baking if you can possibly avoid it.

Actually, loads of people use the wrong side of the tinfoil...

Apparently there's no difference between the sides.

I was pretty surprised to learn that green tea and black tea (and all tea for that matter) are the same plant.

"this technique is nearly useless nowadays but: instead of trying to tear off that sticker/plastic strip at the top of cd cases, unhinge the bottom of the jewel case and it'll come off no prob.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, June 15, 2011 10:31 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark"

who buys CD's anymore

what is the difference between balck and english walnut I leanred!?

Not as famous as "You're So Vain", but I'm a huge Pet Shop Boys fan and it was only long after Boy George's "Crying Game" was a hit that I found out Neil Tennant sang the back vocals. His voice is so distinctive too.

Just found out that holding down control enables right-click on a mac! Only had it 3 years.

Apparently you can open a wine bottle by putting the bottom in a shoe and hitting it against the wall. The cork should pop out. Never tried it myself though.

Just found out that holding down control enables right-click on a mac! Only had it 3 years.

Or just buy a 2 or 3 button mouse

I was doing the crossed-eyes Magic Eyes thing with ordinary pictures ten years before the Magic Eyes thing happened. (I told you I was a bored and lonely little kid.)