OPO: your kid/s or your partner

i should have added some speculation options for those of us without kids and/or partners

fwiw: i don't have kids but i could definitely see picking my husband over my kids.

easy choice for hypothethical kids

quite.

in theory I would pick the kids every time

the rationale is that we have already experienced a ton of things in life and the kids haven't had the opportunity yet

this is a fucked up question

why?!

oh come on, you have to see why someone might find this question upsetting/disturbing

i don't have kids but i could definitely see picking my husband over my kids.

lol. get back to me on that one.

you can't see how asking people to imagine a gun pointed at the heads of the people they love most in the world is kind of fucked up?

yeah at least make it a knife or something

xp no, actually, i can't. it's just a hypothetical question. no one is being forced to answer!

I thought you said a gun was involved

there's a sniper behind all of you right now! answer the question!

to clarify: i realize that this is a pretty common hypothetical scenario and you need to frame it in particular terms for the 'life or death situation' component. it being an ilx poll is kind of fucked up, though, like seriously posing an either/or thing for people to choose. but yeah, obviously no one is being forced to answer, and i will be happy to post on this thread without clicking a poll option.

kids, easy

thinking about it a different way, I wouldn't want to be with someone who valued my life over our kids' lives

the biblical answer is spouse fwiw

about ten years ago, my mom told me it was a pretty easy, if close, decision: husband (my dad) > kids (three of us, no pref among) > her parents. basically, i think this is the nicest sentiment of all, and i hope to follow in her example.

See here now, young lady, there was no call for this poll. None at all. Guns and threats, dead wife or kids. Why, I've half a mind to just not vote. We'll see how you like them apples, now won't we?

How did you feel when she told you that, Pete? Obv you weren't a kid anymore, do you think it would have made sense if you'd asked that question and gotten that answer when you were...10? 15?

no suicide or kill 'em all option?

http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2011/4/27/15/go-the-fuck-to-sleep-22590-1303934067-0.jpg

obviously I'd kick the gun out of the guy's hand jackie chan style

The Bible is not so big on caring about anyone except male heads of households, iirc.

It's a pretty easy decision to make when you turn it backwards and think, How would I want my spouse to decide?

When I was eight, my mother told me that she'd pick my step-dad over me, and I gotta tell you honestly, that did a number on me a little bit.

But the poll also left out the "Keyser Soze" option.

I would kick the gun out of the terrorists hand and put him in a choke hold

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYEwId_5Cho

I would totally choose my kids over my wife and she feels the same way. Living without either of our kids would just be such a bleak, useless life.

thinking about it a different way, I wouldn't want to be with someone who valued my life over our kids' lives

^also, this

would probably say the (hypothetical) kids- mainly because I would hope she would choose the same if it were between them and I.

I think anyone who chose their spouse might not have a relationship left after it was all over, and there's def a perception of anyone who doesn't say "kids" as being cold or even broken like as a parent or something. Moms and dads both, although like everything else, the venom and column inches that would devoted to a woman's offense wd prob be greater. But that's a race to the bottom if there ever was one.

Also I am...intrigued by the discourse around choosing the partner option. After all, THAT is the person you chose to complete you, who needs your support and needs to support you and be completed too. Kids win us over by the "miracle" of our having created life and by their sheer dependency and I'm glad we live in a world where those things are privileged but...I don't know how to frame the "but", I just feel like there is one.

How did you feel when she told you that, Pete? Obv you weren't a kid anymore, do you think it would have made sense if you'd asked that question and gotten that answer when you were...10? 15?

― you're in the club and the light hits your ass like pow (Laurel), Monday, June 27, 2011 5:34 PM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark

i felt really moved when she told me that!

a) it was obviously like str8 from tha <3, and thus was something authentic about my mom, and so, felt like a nice (albeit strangely/counterintuitively) personal moment between us,
b) it made me feel like super good about LOOOOVE, and
c) they raised us in an extremely supportive, though minimally doting way, so it felt like an extension of that, which has always absented me from some HUGE PRESSURE that friends w more hyper-doting parents feel.

i dont know about how it mightve felt when i was 10/15 instead of 19, but it didnt really surprise me at all, so i think it wouldve been ok?

c) they raised us in an extremely supportive, though minimally doting way, so it felt like an extension of that, which has always absented me from some HUGE PRESSURE that friends w more hyper-doting parents feel.

This part. For a lot of people, the "childhood" experience that either they had, or they feel they should have had, or feel they need to give their children, is one of perfect love and protection...or at least that kids should feel like it is for as long as they need that. Definitely once you take that stance, certain non-kid-centric options are logically closed to you.

actually now that i think about it, i'd use my licensed firearm to defuse the situation

What kind of gun do you have, Tracer Hand?

it is magical gun that only kills the guilty

That's what I'm packing too.

i'd go with hypothetical kids at least in part because i'd expect a partner to understand that.

#2563 'hope ms mac doesn't lurk' - yes dear i'd kill you over some imaginary ppl

yah well at least yr not killing her at the behest of imaginary ppl

i'm not sure it's useful to distinguish btwn ilxors and 'imaginary ppl' tbh

i am single and childless precisely because of this issue

it is akin to the reason why kitty dukakis and i never got together

I choose my son. I'll be blunt, these days I could easily live without my wife, I would miss my son dearly

it's a powerful question though, I don't want to make the decision in my own head, let alone vote or post about it.

i am single and childless precisely because of this issue

it is akin to the reason why kitty dukakis and i never got together

― mookieproof, Monday, June 27, 2011 3:47 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The odds of ever having to make this kind of choice are pretty slim, chief.

I vote hypothetical kids. Unless Elle McPherson circa 1985 comes through a time machine to marry me, i can't imagine any chick is worth killing my kids over.

chiefed by bill magill in an ilx beef

imo you give yr kids life, you can take it away. their existence is a privilege you can revoke.

j/k choke slam all the way

imo you give yr kids life, you can take it away. their existence is a privilege you can revoke.

Thank you, Bill Cosby.

this is such a stupid fucking thread. not people's discussion in it, just the question and the poll and the framing. sorry just1ne but it's totally thoughtless high school truth-or-dare special-episode-of-24 shit. also hetero privileged. some qs are just stupid. you seem like an ok lady but step it up a little

hetero privileged = gay couples can't raise kids?

don't accept that having kids or partners in any way = "hetero privileged"

is a dopey thread tho

not that that's such a bad thing...

Oprah did a whole show on a stupid question like this.

at worst the premise is just boring. of course most ppl with kids would choose to off their partner before their kids because (as DJP says) "[the adults] have already experienced a ton of things in life and the kids haven't had the opportunity yet". i.e. parents have a stronger (and mutually understood) duty to protect their kids than to protect each other. it would be more painful/difficult/interesting if the question were, "who do you love more: your kids or your partner?" because love (as opposed to duty) is supposed to be absolute and unquantifiable, at least at the level of immediate family. although I guess the number of people who hate their baby daddies/baby mommies is greater than the number of people who hate their kids.

an even better poll idea would be "would you rather drink a cup of your own blood or a cup of your own spit", but I fear the results.

(xpost my "i.e." should be an "also" because those are two separate arguments really)

I really don't see what the problem with this thread is. Fair enough, it's a complete hypothetical, but that's the point: it's a complete hypothetical. People seem to be reacting like just1n3's actually forcing them to choose in real life. And yeah, the only thing hetero-privileged here is the assumption that gay couples can't have children.

(Though there really should be an option for the childless or you end up with a bunch of people like me happily clicking the 'easy option: partner' button. I hate kids, though.)

And if you hate the thread just because you think it's a silly question, then... have you read ilx before?

otm

sorry some ppl got mad about voluntarily considering an unpleasantness o_O

And if you hate the thread just because you think it's a silly question, then... have you read ilx before?

― emil.y, Tuesday, June 28, 2011 12:13 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

It doesn't get any more OTM than this people

seems silly to answer this question if you dont have kids tbh. how would you know!

your kid could be a real jerkoff

fuck you, my imaginary kids are precious darlings

in theory I would pick the kids every time

the rationale is that we have already experienced a ton of things in life and the kids haven't had the opportunity yet

yes, like the ptsd and lifetime of therapy they'll experience after witnessing one parent shot in the head at the others behest.

guilty lol

an even better poll idea would be "would you rather drink a cup of your own blood or a cup of your own spit", but I fear the results.

Do you have a box available.

I drank a cup of spit once, it was awful and I immediately vomited.

This is unrelated to the creepy rapist guy box joke!!

That's al;so really the sort of story I should have learned to keep to myself by now, sorry world of socialized adults.

was kinda hoping that was a joke abbbbbbt. no? ;_;

by which i mean http://gallery.drfaulken.com/d/2971-1/puking_rolleyes.gif

because mostly it would be warm right? which just http://gallery.drfaulken.com/d/2971-1/puking_rolleyes.gif

sorry sorry!

looooool

this thread just got a lot better

looking forward to the "T/S: drinking a jar of piss vs. eating a plate of vomit" poll

whose piss

run's piss

Spouse, because kids don't help with the rent. But they are tax deductions. Tough question!

You sick fucks. I CANNOT imagine sacrificing a child. But people get less upset over child murder than they do about murder of an adult. I guess because killing a child is easier. How horrible.

But people get less upset over child murder than they do about murder of an adult.

umm, no. but they are p easy to take out.

easier to clean up, less blood

my mom told me it was a pretty easy, if close, decision: husband (my dad) > kids (three of us, no pref among) > her parents.

my mom said similar to me as a kid. i suspect her reasoning was rooted in so. baptist couples sunday school classes.
ideally i would say partner, but i guess it's pretty hard to know for sure if you don't have any kids (which i don't).

here's a question: are you more to blame for choosing an asshole for a partner, or having kids who turn out to be assholes?

partner

depends on how you choose your partners &/or raise your kids, right? in general, i'd say we're more directly/blamably responsible for our choice of mates than the long-term quality of our offsprings. but yeah, depends, depends, depends...

my mom always said she'd pick us kids over anyone in the world, including our dad, including herself.

You sick fucks. I CANNOT imagine sacrificing a child.

What, you don't have as much imagination as GOD?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4f/Rembrandt_Harmensz._van_Rijn_035.jpg

no shame in admitting an inferior imagination to the entity that came up with liza minelli imo

It's true, I'll never be as good as Judy!

You sick fucks.

too evil eye scared to vote or even think louder than a tiny whisper in the back of my head

(not evil eye -- but whatever evil presence of which i still have knee-jerk superstitious fear)

al tiftach peh :/

whose piss

― edit piaf (electricsound), Monday, June 27, 2011 7:39 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

run's piss

― hawns, Monday, June 27, 2011 7:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

Brought some serious fuckin' lols.

Can we go back to picking either the Beatles or the Rolling Stones?

theres an upcoming hit nbc tv show about this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfPVoiQKFvk

whilst drinking other ppl's spit is not my preferred way of spending an evening, drinking yr own is fine, just yr brain playing tricks on you

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Hypothetical partner over hypothetical kids, I guess I'd have picked.