reasons to leave a job when you're super-rich

from http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/print/2011/04/secret-fears-of-the-super-rich/8419/

Karen Weisgerber, a senior adviser at the center who also works with Kenny at North Bridge, describes an heir she counseled who had earned an M.B.A. from a top-tier school and was an obviously intelligent man. He nonetheless moved from one high-tech job to another. “At some point, something would happen at each job that those who have to work for an income would learn to tolerate,” Weisgerber says. “And he’d just say, ‘I don’t want to deal with this.’ Eventually he had to say, ‘I don’t have a career.’”

1. vending machine in break room replaced peanut butter m&ms with quotidian peanut m&ms

2. it's Tuesday

3. anxiety induced by shameful secret of mba acquired from second tier school

4. polo injuries

5. Meeting scheduled for lunch time.

6. reprimanded by human resources for signing emails as "his lordship"

^ lol

7. march madness picks were so bad that you know your co-workers will secretly hold it against you forever

8. Disabled toilet cubicle occupied.

9. office won't bend its "no pets" rule for your adorable new baby jaguar

10. Blue jean Fridays.

11. parking spaces in the shade all taken by the time you usually arrive at work

aka "reasons we have wanted to quit jobs"?

12. office has no-slaves policy

13. the toilet paper in the restrooms is too rough

14. democrats are in office and they're gonna raise taxes so high that your time is better spent complaining online full-time

15. your office door is not wide enough to move in your office desk hewn from a single cube of quartz

16. Sandwich artist polo shirt is too coarse, wrong shade of green.

17. your quartz desk looks kinda cheesy in an office building made entirely of quartz

18. no helipad access

aka "reasons we have wanted to quit jobs"?

I will admit I was super pissed when I couldn't bring in my jaguar but hey, I've got a mortgage *shrug*

19. have nobbed all the interns

20. "coffee swizzle sticks are NOT for cocaine use. thanks! :)"

21. you finally understood the message of virgo noir

22. walk to the restroom from your office necessitates walking past the hoi polloi in their cubicles, unambitious enough to work towards having their own offices

23. mail cart boy objects to "collar and leash" ensemble you ordered special

24. proposal to hire a washroom attendant who will hand out scented towels met with blank stares at weekly office meeting. "but I'll pay for it!" you said.

25. you couldn't come up with 200 votes in mingo county

26. bosses force you to use feces bag for horse you use to get from office to office

27. facebook blocked

28. Colleagues invite your valet out for beers, not you.

29. hard to find something for your palanquin bearers to do for the 4 hours you work

30. as a non-exempt employee, you're expected to put in at least 50 hours/week

31. "i can buy and sell all of you!" not appreciated during interdepartmental meetings, whatever its truth

32. cleaning crew wears white before labor day

33. "brunching with a sultan from dubai" apparently not acceptable for excuse from coming in four hours late drunk on pink champagne

34. foreign head of state dies; bereavement time not granted

35. middle-management hates it when you "make it rain"

36. strict no chorling policy

chortling, perhaps

37. inferior grade caviar in the snack machine

38. closest golf course to workplace is a public one

39. nobody found it funny when you converted a janitor's closet into a scrooge mcduck style "money pit"

40. people found it even less funny that you refused to remove janitor first.

41. elves at office xmas party clearly non-magical

42. can't enjoy "bring your daughter to work day" because of paparazzi issues

43. attendees at team-building weekend shocked to learn you've instead planned a battle royale style fight to the death

44. 'no segways indoors' policy chafes at your very existence

45. management refuse to dig a canal to the parking lot to accommodate your speedboat

153. A one hour lunch break is just not long enough for all 23 courses

154. orchids on coworker's birthday cake are (a) buttercream and (b) common

155. security won't let you use your wall street journal copperplate portrait on your ID

156. cafeteria makes you pay for refills

157. not one hundred percent sure because you only stopped in briefly for appearances but pretty sure there was wine in a...box at a birth luncheon

158. decided to devote yourself full-time to the monarchist group that declared you rightful heir to hapsburg throne

159. subordinates complain when you throw them bodily out of your office. jesus doesn't anyone remember uncle phil from the fresh prince around here?

160. as of today, everyone had seen all of your work outfits and you don't have time to shop for new ones

161. oak valley country club is finally taking new applications

161. portraitist deemed distracting during business meetings

162. secretary tells you two very angry colombian men came by asking about "the product" and you decide it might be a good time to lay low for a while

163. mistook mailboy for shoe shiner in bathroom, can't bear the awkwardness that will ensue when he delivers your mail tomorrow

164. filled with despair when told that the island you just bought is sinking back into the sea

165. embarrassed to park your ferrari in executive lot next to entry-level mercedes & BMWs

165. someone suggests that giving "the shocker" to people who can't bring projects in on time and under budget isn't really a good motivational tool

166. realize you can just buy your own health insurance

167. seeking employment in taller skyscraper next door.

168. you make the mistake of sexually assaulting a hotel maid in new york city when youre on personal business and dont have diplomatic immunity

169. batman pajamas with butt-flap tsk-tsk'd as casual friday attire

170. company's general counsel was actually really rude to you when you asked him to do something about your page 6 appearance. yes it was a 'blind item' but still.

171. turns out that the anthropomorphic bear you're great-grandfather came up with to sell floor wax is now the basis for a successful animated movie franchise, you're going to write the script to the sequel

173. you've run out of vacation days

174. had a really strange argument, co-workers didn't understand that making a first year suck you off in the back of the chapel at boarding school absolutely doesn't count as gay, that's one of the laws of this country.

175. ate six complimentary shrimp cocktails even though they didn't smell quite right, projectile vomited on arianna huffington during aol merger meeting

176. your trainer can only see you at 10:45 AM on weekdays after her Bravo reality show blew up

177. kiddie pool full of jell-o pudding falls outside of "sprucing up your cubicle with items from home" guidelines

178. new '2 buy-ins maximum' rule for poker nights with 'the boys from work' cramps your fast and easy all-in style

He nonetheless moved from one high-tech job to another. “At some point, something would happen at each job that those who have to work for an income would learn to tolerate,” Weisgerber says. “And he’d just say, ‘I don’t want to deal with this.’ Eventually he had to say, ‘I don’t have a career.’”

I know a couple of people like this except they have no money. Quitting jobs over minor annoyances is just strange to me.

179. no one gets the joke when you offer to pay for lunch and then pull out a milk jug full of loose change

180. your manager gets all misty eyed when he talks about how his ailing father fought at iwo jima, but nobody gives you the slightest consideration that you had ancestors fighting on both sides of the revolutionary war

181. your first project is due tomorrow

182. Someone has to oversee the building of the moat -- you can't trust contractors these days.

183. your hiring processes brought into question when it's discovered that the final step in the interview is answering three riddles correctly or else risk being imprisoned in a latvian dungeon for the rest of the applicant's natural life

184. office doors not tall enough for you to get through without removing your top hat

185. office doors not tall enough for you to get through without exiting your howdah.

186. If there's not going to be a helipad, the least they could do is make the runway long enough for you to land your learjet.

187. chair not entirely comfortable

188. someone farted

189. "Claims Analyst" not as glamorous as it sounds

190. this is like the seventh straight place in a row where i can't find a suitable dwight or a pam to play against my jim character and it's really getting fucking annoying.

191. Co-workers refuse to give you share of $100 lottery-ticket winnings even though you totally meant to put your dollar in last week.

192. Toilet seat in the executive washroom is gold plated rather than solid gold.

192. Salary won't cover cost of new clean clothes daily

194. co-workers can't count sequentially

195. Boss no longer amused by your wisecracking "I thought you meant 'As Slowly As Possible!'" excuse.

196. the annoying aspie who sits in the office next to me.

197. the job is going to be offshored to India or China anyway and life's too short to sit in an office with annoying co-workers and bothersome work-oriented tasks.

198. i have no respect for the managing partner b/c he got his degree from Brooklyn Law (and i got mine from Columbia).

199. It's Wednesday

200. they served peche a la creme in the office cafeteria for lunch today.