defend the indefensible: bumper stickers

you're driving a car. why not use that opportunity to say something about yourself?

oops. you are now an irredeemable blight on the beautiful and pristine highway. you must commit suicide.

http://www.windowdecals.net/files/DisneyHansenActual2.jpg

"liberal" ones are even worse. "parody" ones are worse than that.

GROW THE HELL UP AND DON'T PUT STICKERS ON YOUR CAR.

my other post was about the millennium falcon

This = "I am actually an asshole and definitely can't park."

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41422xwBTgL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

"Honk if you hate bumper stickers!"

SELF-AWARE PARODY ONES ARE THE ABSOLUTE NADIR. there is not a "message" you should ever, ever put on your car.

Seriously people?

Posts
169
Member
772 days
started by TriAu on December 6, 2010
I have let this go on long enough without giving it a good rant, but I can no longer control myself. I am probably going to step on some peoples toes here, but I really don't care, and if you are one of these people beware, I'm going to track you down. There are a good list of things which I really don't like, and right now the my number one hatred goes to all of you idiots with "13.1" stickers on the back of your car. Seriously? It's 13.1 miles, it is not really that big a deal. Anyone who has done a whole marathon or an Ironman has probably run 13 miles as part of a training run, possibly as part of a brick workout. Anyone who has done a 70.3 did a 13.1 mile run after a 57.2 swim/bike. I did a sprint triathlon once but you don't see me with a 18.75 sticker on my car do you? No, the reason is because people are supposed to be capable of finishing races that short. People have become so fat and lazy it is suddenly an epic feat just to finish a 13.1 mile distance, no matter how long it might take you. So people remove your head from where the sun don't shine and take down your 13.1 sticker...

***side note***
I appreciate the half marathon, especially when it is run fast. I do feel most people who are out to run the fastest half marathon they can are not the same idiots who put 13.1 stickers on their cars. I just wanted to clear that up, I like people who are trying to get faster, hate people who brag about "just finishing" a half marathon...

***another side note***
If I were Lance Armstrong I would get 6 stickers that said 2574 (or whatever the tour distance was that year) in yellow and put them on my car...

http://www.trifuel.com/files/pictures/picture-15675.jpg

i brake for raggett

Matt OTM, but I don't have a problem with people who advertise their stupidity voluntarily. (yeah yeah, I do it all the time on ilx myself, whatever.) It simplifies things so you don't have to waste your time getting to know them and only find out later.

tbf, the first time i saw "Don't Drink and Drive - You Might Spill It" i did lol pretty hearty

Yes, they can be funny once, but to drive around for years with the same thing on your car? Idgi.

favorite recent quote by an athlete:
Charles Jenkins

Warriors second-round draft pick, when asked why he has no tattoos:

"You ever see a bumper sticker on a Maybach?"

Christ, I came into this thread on board with the bumpersticker thing and left feeling shame for ever getting a tattoo.

you're welcome

I'm alright with bumperstickers if your car has clearly crossed that threshold from "respectable thing to drive" to "undeniable piece of crap".

worst:

http://www.decaljunky.com/images/Product/medium/9179.jpg

Especially because it's always someone who died before their time:

http://www.customlabels4u.com/images-decals/memorial/car-sample.gif

Defense: when someone has like 20 bumper stickers (almost always some combination of aggro-political and "humorous"), quick way to identify the batshit insane.

^^ yes

I saw a "Democrats: Brave enough to kill the unborn but not our enemies" bumper sticker this morning.

Osama bin Laden humbly begs to differ.

i have this bumper sticker on my car

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/24/102652039_d5497edbd4.jpg

fuiud

Defense: when someone has like 20 bumper stickers (almost always some combination of aggro-political and "humorous"), quick way to identify the batshit insane.

hahaha This exactly describes some mom who cycles with her kids in one of those dutch bikes.

I saw a "Democrats: Brave enough to kill the unborn but not our enemies" bumper sticker this morning.

WTF

I think those "baby aboard" stickers are ridiculous. So what, you're supposed to be more careful? You always have to be careful. Maybe I'm missing something.

You're missing the part where most people are not careful and treat their car like it was some sort of magic carpet and they float along at 80 mph with one finger on the steering wheel and the other squarely up their own ass.

R.I.P. ones used to make me go "wtf it's your car it's not like a great memorial for this person" but tbrr when I see an "R.I.P. my daughter who died when she was five" one like the thing above I just start to choke up and hope that person feels a little better for having the RIP on their car

Anything that could possibly lead someone to straighten up while driving for even 30 seconds is a blessing.

aero, that is some empathy right there. my opposition to these things is grounded in the fact that they do make me choke up (esp. when they're about kids or young adults) and to be honest I don't want to choke up.

is having a coexist bumper sticker bad? is that whole design bad? i can't see an angle on it that makes whatever its potential offence outweigh its general good vibesy message. it doesn't even seem like, a self-aggrandising toast to one's own tolerance, or anything like that. i know i am going to bat for something that has a yin & yang sign & actively hurts your eyes but it seems p positive to me.

literally every fifth car in my town has the cOeXiST sticker, lol hippies

"baby on board" sticker is just code for "there is a baby in this car, in case you wanted to steal one."

the "baby on board" signs were invented cos of some accident where the crew searching thru the wreckage of a crash didn't realise there was a baby trapped in one of the cars iirc. they weren't originally intended to guilt trip fellow motorists.

not saying that is their main function now just filling in a bit of history.

Oh, I didn't know that. It makes much more sense.

Those people ALWAYS have to have that baby on board though - they can't just quickly nip out to the shops for something without the baby, just in case they're in an accident and the rescue crew see that sticker - "Well look again then, it must be somewhere in there, there's a sticker!"

It's usually a sign attached to the inside of a window with a suction cup -- not a sticker. Easy to remove.

i mean, i think it has transformed into a celebration of family no doubt - i don't think you could claim that people are still using it en masse purely in event of an emergency

people just don't care enough about the rescue of their basically disposable children, nowdays

It's very often a real sticker over here. Sometimes more than one: "(name of kid) on board"

Typical reaction: *drives dangerously closer* "what, HOW do you pronounce that?"

"Keyli on board" ("maybe it's their dog")

Keyli on board, £2000 ONO

One I remember circa 2000 elections: "Charlton Heston is my President."

http://www.libertystickers.com/static/images/Drug-test-the-cops.gif

http://i3.cpcache.com/product/1014824892/art_2_tr_sexiest_square_sticker_3_x_3.jpg

http://i3.cpcache.com/product/676571167/reagan_avenge_me_sticker_oval.jpg

My mom (aged 90) put a bumper sticker on her walker:

Everyone does better when everyone does better.

She's a socialist at heart. <3

I'm alright with bumperstickers if your car has clearly crossed that threshold from "respectable thing to drive" to "undeniable piece of crap".

grit of ad hominem (kkvgz) wrote this at 2011-07-21 19:36:18.000

My car crossed this line last year and I went ahead and slapped a bumper sticker on it.

Anyone else notice "NOT A LIBERAL" popping up a lot these days? Think that's going to be a popular one.

http://www.procutvinyl.co.uk/acatalog/paul_walker_skyline_sticker_decal_dude_I_almost_had_you.jpg

Saw one of these in the wild this morning.

recently realized the girl i've been crushing on forever has bumper stickers. not like, a peace loving wiccan amount but there are several. i'm currently reevaluating

friend of mine saw a new classic bumper sticker that said in simple white lettering,

"Would you mind if I removed your panties and had a sniff?"

lol at me starting this thread.

so lately i've noticed that most bumper stickers are like... completely incomprehensible. they're weird brands or logos that i don't recognize, can't even place or make sense of. does anyone else notice this? i think it might be a product of how facebook and the rest of the internet is creating epistemologically separate and distinct groups of beings that can't understand each other and don't inhabit a shared reality.. like these people are getting these bumper stickers that signify something that is just completely outside the realm of my existence and might as well be a foreign language. it's very weird. i feel like i used to be able to "read" most bumper stickers and like place the person or w/e.

i'll give an example. i see one of these new model nissan titan beard oil trucks next to me. driver's side cab has a sticker that looks like:

10
be
so

like....... wtf does that mean? how would i even know how to find out what that means? is it a sports thing? when did bumper stickers start being completely incomprehensible signs with no signifier available to me? is this partly a generational thing? it's disconcerting but frankly a little exciting... like i'm glad i don't know what your bumper sticker means as i live in utah and you're probably an asshole!

I’m just glad all The Chive related bumper stickers seem to have disappeared.

I saw a Kennedy/Johnson one the other day (wtf?)

yeah map I think it’s kinda like with those runners stickers that say “14.2” or whatever it’s like a secret club thing

If you add up all the bumper sticker messages ever printed and plastered on a car somewhere by someone, there would have to be nigh on to a million or more different ones so far. Condemning "bumper stickers" by citing one or two examples you personally hate is not a very scalable argument against them.

wow thank you for saying that

back at yuh!

https://i.imgur.com/XMyHo6L.jpg

was a toss-up between this thread and one of the Morrissey threads or whatever. idk.

also, didn't notice until they were driving away but there was a small Talking Heads logo at the top of the rear window