why are you planning on going to norway and committing a non-violent crime?

state-of-the-art gym with rock climbing walls

^^^^
closely beating out "private bathrooms" & "you get to learn how to ride a bicycle"

feel like if i was in prison w/ a state of the art gym, i might work out

I think a personal trainer would give me the motivation to work out more than a state-of-the-art gym

but I also wouldn't want to look bad in front of my unicycle coach, idk

I wish you could select more than one item

how long would it take before someone stabbed someone w/ a unicycle if they were allowed in american jails

how long does it take to fashion a shiv out of a unicycle?

(although on the plus side you could nonchalantly ride away after the stabbing)

how long would it take before someone stabbed someone w/ a unicycle if they were allowed in american jails

― iatee, Tuesday, July 26, 2011 11:08 PM (19 seconds ago) Bookmark

i was gonna say, it would take like 2 hours of americans having super posh jails before it became the clinical example of "why we can't have nice things"

if the unicycle were also a shiv I am not sure you would be so nonchalant in your ride back

american inmates would find away to stab one another with the free dentists

voted free dental checkups; dentists in the states are EXPENSIVE.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/05/11/article-1277158-0985D9B0000005DC-403_634x286.jpg

aforementioned prison

looks nicer than a lot of college campus buildings

ups

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/05/11/article-1277158-0985D9B0000005DC-403_634x286.jpg

this whole thing is just amazing

if the unicycle were also a shiv I am not sure you would be so nonchalant in your ride back

fortunately the personal trainers and state-of-the-art gym would help you develop the iron thighs necessary to hover over your unicycle shiv while maintaining your balance

i'm sure there's a workshop where you could customize your unicycle shiv properly.

also the guards (who are pretty much your frat bros for lyfe, esp after you guys won the prison hockey league 2 years in a row) would provide moral support

xp

how long would it take before someone stabbed someone w/ a unicycle if they were allowed in american jails

― iatee, Wednesday, July 27, 2011 1:08 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark

Australian precedent: Carl Williams Killed By Exercise Bike Stem

Williams' ex-wife Roberta arrived at the prison last night. A man who answered her mobile phone said ''f--- off, you goose''.

this whole thing is just amazing

Yes, it is. If only other countries would follow their example.

Also you missed an option for "comely woman" (see p2 or article).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGTzbj3fRSw

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/norway.jpg

i'm sure there are secret punishments inherent in all of these. like, the recording studio probably limits the sampling rate to 32 khz!

music classes are very heavy on Genesis

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

well-stocked library with CDs and DVDs (okay america prolly has this)

lol *chokes to death on laughter*

my knowledge of the american prison system is mostly based on tv

but the libraries usually seem okay

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

most u.s. prisons are running at 200% or even 300% capacity, recreation and libraries are generally the first thing slashed. there are some prisons where bibles are the only thing you get to read, most others rely on donated books. wisconsin actually tried to ban sending used books to prisoners a couple years ago. you think dudes in Red Onion are sittin back with a shelf of DVDs?

also, not to get on a high horse or anything, but jokes like this:

i was gonna say, it would take like 2 hours of americans having super posh jails before it became the clinical example of "why we can't have nice things"

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, July 26, 2011 11:10 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

are pretty horrible? i know its a just a joke and you dont really believe it, but i just think its gross and reinforces the idea that these guys are animals instead of people who have been brutalized by a racist prison system