"Oh girl, you are as dumb as a sack of hair."

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What's the best line of dialogue you've heard on a television show?

(Prompted by the absolutely hilarious quote above, which was taken from an old episode of Law and Order.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 August 2002 12:09 (twenty-three years ago)

"Moe! Don't toss out that brine!"

(Maybe not THE best, but still close.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 26 August 2002 16:30 (twenty-three years ago)

"Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won't quit. they got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars??!!!? get outta here [scrawl]"

― Josh (Josh), Monday, 26 August 2002 16:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I remember a good bit in Taxi with Christopher Lloyd's Reverend Jim character:

someone to someone else, rhetorically: "Do you know how much it costs to spend forty minutes on the phone to Brazil!?"

Rev Jim: "Forty seven dollars and fifty cents."

someone else again: "How do you know that?"

Rev Jim: "You mean I was right?"

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 26 August 2002 17:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"When I was seven, I got dressed up as a little city gent, and walked into the Bank of England shouting "Fuck the Pound"."

― Christopher Lyons, Monday, 26 August 2002 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

mr garrison: "just remember kids, there are no stupid answers, just stupid people."

or myabe chef's diatribe about how racism isn't justified in regard to asian- or african- americans, only foreigners.

― matthew james (matthew james), Monday, 26 August 2002 18:30 (twenty-three years ago)

The doctor said i wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if i kept my finger outta there!

― petra jane (petra jane), Tuesday, 27 August 2002 05:18 (twenty-three years ago)

He's carrying a torch, but he's not worshipping IT - he's idolising ME.

― maryann, Tuesday, 27 August 2002 05:39 (twenty-three years ago)

can i just echo josh ?
that comes *very* close.

what's that 'brine' one ?
don't recognise, rings bells.

― piscesboy, Tuesday, 27 August 2002 13:52 (twenty-three years ago)

'brine' = another Simpsons quote, said by Homer in the bar.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 August 2002 13:55 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

"An F in English. But Bobby, you SPEAK English"
Hank Hill, King of the Hill

This makes me laugh. It's the deadpan delivery I think, the sound of incredulity and matter-of-factness rolled into one.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 05:29 (twenty-one years ago)

KotH has so much classic dialogue. The episode where Bobby practices kissing using Luanne's hairstyling mannequin head sticks with me the most: after Hank discovers him, he argues with Peggy (paraphrased): "This only happened 'cause you let him watch those damned Muppets! Frogs kissing pigs..."

― MC Transmaniacon (natepatrin), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

"I've made a huge mistake."

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 9 November 2004 05:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"You take one nap in a ditch at the side of the road, and suddenly they're declaring you this and that".

(Prof Farnsworth, Futurama)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"We have a saying around here, there's no future...in the past." paraphrase from My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 9 November 2004 05:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"Kill my boss? Dare I live the American Dream?!"

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

eleven years pass...

sack of hair line still all time

― HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS (BradNelson), Saturday, 26 December 2015 01:29 (ten years ago)

i think this is the first google result for "dumb as a sack of hair" and y'all should be proud

― HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS (BradNelson), Saturday, 26 December 2015 01:31 (ten years ago)

I love prefacing statements with "oh"

― lute bro (brimstead), Saturday, 26 December 2015 23:04 (ten years ago)

oh wrinklepaws

― Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 27 December 2015 00:28 (ten years ago)

"Oh, you" is one my favorite things to say

― lute bro (brimstead), Sunday, 27 December 2015 00:32 (ten years ago)

oh, i feel violent.

― black metal is emo for vikings (monster mash), Sunday, 27 December 2015 09:28 (ten years ago)

bye bye

― lute bro (brimstead), Sunday, 27 December 2015 09:36 (ten years ago)

one year passes...

caught this one the other night. all time.

i thought the last half-dozen lines of dialogue were utterly amazing too but i can't remember them now!

― goole, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 05:02 (eight years ago)

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