fuck cancer

ok, here goes.
after a long long day i have had a few glasses of red wine, so please bear with me.
on april 6th 2011 my wife was told "in error" that she had stomach cancer.
[long story - but this should have happened in my presence at some later pre-arranged time, but the fact was dropped while i was on childcare duties 30 miles away .. ]
given that my wife had previously been to see her GP for 2 years re ongoing stomach issues this came as no real surprise, but still, 2 years is quite a long time to have such concerns.
[turned out to be a stomach ulcer that had been left untreated .. resulting in the cancerous growth, but still the advise is that it has not spread beyond the stomach]
so after a 3 month stretch of radical chemo, to isolate and focus the growth, the surgeon today removed my wifes stomach, meaning that today is the beginning of a whole new life for us all.
so, the question is : are there ILX'r who have been through this process, as i have no idea as to what happens next !
how will she be able to digest food etc ?
and far more importantly, will red wine be no longer suitable as a method for her to deal with the daily demands of modern life ?
oh, and in the spirit of the original thread (i hate cancer) : fuck cancer.

as far as i could tell (i looked - honest !) , ile needed a proper 'fuck cancer' thread.

=( Best of luck to both of you

Oh fuck, I'm so very sorry to hear that. btw there is a 'curse cancer' thread but fuck anyone who holds this thread against you.

mark e, I am so sorry you and your wife are facing this. I know a few people who have had some or all of their stomach removed, for various reasons - each has certain foods that aren't processed well and so those are avoided, but digestion starts with chewing and nutrients are absorbed in the small intestine. One friend takes an additional enzyme with each meal, but the others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary. See if you can find a support group locally or on-line that can help with the questions/concerns you will both be confronting. I wish your wife a rapid return to health and strength.

while i understand and appreciate the concerns, can i just state the following : today is a great great] day.
the surgery went well, my wife is ok (as far as i know), and that is a massive, repeat massive thrill-buzz.
oh, and while red wine is not the answer to most of our daily stresses it can form part of our occasional parental release ..
(i would prefer a very loud listen-n-dance session to kylie, but hey, cant have everythintg ! )

others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary.

have heard this from others.
only time will tell.

ta.

Fuck cancer indeed, so many of my relatives are dead from or are have contracted some form of cancer.

My paternal grandmother had her stomach removed for the same reason back in the 1960s. Although her meal size was reduced, she still very much enjoyed food and drink; one of the first things she taught my brother and me when we used to go and visit as wee lads was how to make a "proper" gin and tonic for her. She lived until she was 90.

I really hope your wife can continue to enjoy life in a similar spirit, and that she's making a fast and full recovery from the op.

cheers bill.
cant believe that its only 7 days since surgery given that yesterday she was looking so good, and up and walking (aka "thank f*ck for the nhs").
and yes, the advise seems to be that she can eat-n-drink whatever.
there may be some food types that may cause issue, but hopefully, the main impact will be that meal times will be a lot more relaxed as opposed to gobble-and-go.

I guess it must not be too major to have your stomach removed since lots of people get their stomach removed who have a gastric bypass. I mean not too major compared to having your pancreas removed or your colon and getting an ostomy or something. I hope it goes well, I'm sure you will adapt in time and you will be just fine. SOrry to hear it

My grandfather is in the last stage of leukemia. I am trying to keep in mind he had a long and healthy life so far. But given that his life wasn't too great, it's difficult...

exactly one year on and shit gets raised to a new level of emotional chaos.

we weren't even able to get away for 7 days for some well deserved family time without a mad midnight 250 mile dash to a&e.

oh, and all the positivity and hope i displayed earlier in this thread proved to be fucking worthless.

outcome post chemo/surgery : stage 4. terminal. no more treatment.

we currently live in waiting rooms dreading the test results.

fuck cancer.

i'm really sorry, mark. my best wishes and support to you and your loved ones. and fuck cancer.

mark, I'm so sorry. fuck cancer.

I am at a loss for words. I... I wish I could take some of the pain away. Fuck FUCK FUCK cancer. I am so so sorry.

How terrible. I wish you love. Fuck cancer.

Mark, I'm really, really sorry. My best wishes to you and your family.

Echoing the above. Utterly terrible news.

emsley clan : -1

cancer scoreboard : +1

fuck cancer.

Mark, I'm so sorry; my condolences to you and your family.

oh Mark I am so sorry. sending you love and support in this time.

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

A hug and kiss for you, Mark.

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

― dayo, Thursday, April 26, 2012 8:35 AM (1 minute ago)

^^^ So sorry, Mark. Fuck cancer.

Sending you love and the tiniest lightening of this burden. I'm so sorry.

i'm so sorry mark.

Horrible news, very sorry to hear this, good thoughts to you and family Mark.

ta for the wired tlc ..

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

we were told back in december that there was a good chance of 12 months of settled life.

to say the last 4 months have been a living hell of health related shyte would be an understatement.

we have no let up from the hospital/a&e chaos, so in some ways, i'm glad that she is now no longer suffering, but damn, its heavy on those of us left behind.

how horrible, Mark. RIP, & I hope you too are able to find some peace in this.

mark i'm so sorry for you and your family's loss, i hope you all get all the love and support you need

Oh Mark, I'm so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the strength in the world over the next few days and weeks.

That is horrible to hear, take care of yourself, man.

Also: fuck cancer.

Oh my God. I am so so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how horrible the past year must have been for you. My best wishes go out to you and your family.

Damn.

My condolences.

mark, I'm very sorry. words on a message board don't do it justice.

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

I switched oncologists recently, going to the big medical center named after one of the Rockefellers. My new guy is the teacher who taught my two old guys.

We went down the list, talking about the medications I had been given, what my diet could be, drawing a DNA helix on the paper of the examination chair and saying 45 minutes of exercise based on my age x 5 - 2 or something. That last one, "What does running up and down stairs have to do with cancer?" made him literally stroke his beard and say "We don't know. Everything I've told you is basically an educated guess at best."

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

i have an uncle who is a highly qualified doctor in canada - and he basically told me this back last year, so while we were getting the 'we will cure you' story from various folks here, i've been quietly preparing for this outcome due to the insider information from him.

still, doesn't make dealing with the fallout any easier ..

good luck with your battle pplains - you have my heartfelt wishes and hopes for a more successful outcome.

for us, the big reveal was the discovery of an evil lump weeks after the completion of premium grade chemo that she underwent as that confirmed just how aggressive the fucker was.

(uncle confirmed that she got the best that was available .. so no complaints on that score)

Heartfelt condolences, mark. I'm so sorry that things turned out this way.

i'm so very sorry, mark.

Found out yesterday that mother in-law likely has pancreatic cancer. She got sick the day after we left for vacation, but apparently her doctor's been all kind of amazing and has run 6 months worth of tests in 2 weeks. From what I understand they think it's still in early stages, and possibly slow-growing though I'm still trying to make sense of everything so I don't exactly know all the details.

the worst part is that her Mum died of cancer when she was quite young, and her brother died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago, so it's just like AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

the gallows-humor lighter side is that because of a blocked bile duct she now has a major case of jaundice. She said over the phone that she was pretty green, but when she answered the door mr Veg and I were like, 'Whoa. you weren't kidding.' Wicked Witch of the West level neon green. It's really weird!

We visited with her yesterday - she's very scared, tired, etc, but still very much herself. I love her so much...it just fucks me up that she's dealing with all of this. Ugh!

bleh

AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

seriously.

hope they caught the fucker in time peppermint.

I know. I'd like to have her around for a lot longer :)

btw, my condolences to you, mark...a big DOUBLE FUCK YOU CANCER

cheers pepper.

borderline alcoholism + v. loud music helps.

a little.

<3 <3 <3

my mother in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer on Friday. Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart. My wife had to take an emergency red-eye last night and fortunately made it home before her mom died. now they're waiting for more tests.

fuck you, incompetent doctors, fuck you cancer, etc.

Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart.

due to the time, i am assuming you are US based pepper, cos this scarily similar to our situation.

3 years of 'problems' that were ignored cos it would have cost a few quid to send bh for a CT scan ..

so, yes fuck you incomp. doctors and fuck you tory policy to make doctors even more important in the decision making process.

once bh was escalated to the next level of care then it has to be said, the care was absolutely fantastic, but the fact of the matter is that he problems were ignored by the the GPs for 3 years .. and the GPs defence : 'bh is too young to get stomach cancer'

ok, time for more wine ..

hang in there, also check out the revive on the Steve Albini thread, very inspiring.

I was told just today that my aunt was in the final stages of her cancer, so I feel you. It's amazing how much money + resources gets pumped into research and how it's still such a crapshoot of who survives and who doesn't.

that’s so intense, Dee. sending you good feeling. fuck cancer

best wishes, Dee

Hope you can find the answers you need, Dee, but glad that you are in remission at least.

Andrew, I missed your earlier post, but much love to you and Jen and I'll try and get over for a visit in the new year. And, as always, fuck cancer.

dee, thanks for taking the time to share, as hard as it is. you're awesome for pushing through this. fuck cancer.

Lots of love, Dee - nice to see you back here, and fuck cancer.

And thanks Ailsa - we've got "see Ailsa more" on the to-do list when you're back on your feet.

just found out from my distraught mother that my last currently living, UK based uncle is completely fucked with cancer. Past the palliative care stage. literally weeks after feeling extremely fatigued and getting quite a sudden diagnosis of being terminally ill, and it has spread to his brain. He is one of these people that never has stopped. Probably was a millionaire. I fell out with him when I worked for his company and called him a cunt. But still feel very sad. Awful times when your whole family is fading out :(

ugh, my condolences

he was an electrical contractor and quite likely was exposed to lots of asbestos and other harmful dust in his working life.

I fell out with him badly when I worked for him, but still crying. He was an influential character in my life.

sorry about that, calzino. Wishing you and your family the best.

So sorry, Calzino

yep, sorry man

Ah, so sorry man, that's dreadful

Really sorry to hear, calz.

my condolences, calzino :(

Sorry Calzino, and Dee I'm glad for the remission and sorry for the loss at the same time.

Lost two folks I knew in the last month — one a high school classmate who I wasn't particularly close to but we had classes together and were friends on Facebook and she was a sunny person who I never heard a bad word about. The other was one of the two singer-songwriters in a band I was in for a couple of years in the early '90s. I hadn't seen him in person in ages, but we were connected on FB and he had remained creatively active, he'd had a bunch more bands. (Portland, Ore., folks may know him, his name was Eric Gregory.) Anyway, he wrote a bunch of songs I liked and was an A+ dude. The classmate had been fighting cancer for a year or two, the bandmate was diagnosed in August and died in October, oof.

Fuck cancer, the toll in my age bracket just keeps going up.

i'm so sorry calzino, hang in there.

so...fuck cancer. Mom has breast cancer, specifically invasive lobular carcinoma. because of her mother having it around the same age, mom got frequent mammograms, and last December was the first time anything abnormal showed up. After diagnosing it, they believed it was Stage 1, and easily treatable with surgery. Then the MRI happened and the tone of all of the doctors changed.

The cancer was significantly bigger than expected after the initial ultrasound, and they feared spread to lymph nodes. So she had a PET Scan, which suggested spread to axillary lymph nodes....and one distant one, in her chest (the mediastinal lymph node). You know where this is going.

A biopsy was ordered of the axillary lymphs which confirmed the cancer had spread there. Now looking Stage 2-3. But...they opted not to biopsy the lymph node in the mediastinal lymph. simply because they said there's two challenges, one there are risks due to the more invasive nature of the biopsy given the larynx and trachea are nearby, and that also the lymph node is small enough that they could easily miss cancer in the biopsy and give a false negative. Both original treating facility and second opinion at Moffitt clinic agreed it's better to treat this as if it is cancer and find out later that it is not.

so no surgery. This makes mom Stage 4. they are treating her with aromatase inhibitors. right now, Letrozole, and then she will add Ibrance as a secondary. the plan is to treat for 3-6 months and do another scan - and if that area in the chest turns out to be nothing and it hasn't spread to any other distant areas, that they might reassess and consider surgery. but they think the possibility that the lymph node in the chest is not cancer is 10% or less.

I do not profess to know more than doctors, but I did do a lot of research that suggested there are a ton of false positives for PET scans in this particular lymph node, because garden variety inflammation can trigger higher SUV scores. there was, in fact, a study involving 15 breast cancer patients with SUV scores above 2.5 and under 6.4 (mom's is 4.9), and the end result was only TWO of them actually had cancer in the lymph node.

I feel like the doctors are really just trying to expectation set and prepare for the worst and hope for the best rather than acknowledge there's a possibility, which I get. Mom is going to continue with Moffitt.

both sets of facilities said mom is not actively 'dying' at the moment, that she doesn't have a lot of cancer in her body, and that she can have quality years (plural) of life ahead of her depending on how treatment goes. the cancer is estrogen+, HER-negative. they do believe the aromatase inhibitors will do well.

it's just hard to see her go through this after beating lung cancer (she never smoked) just 3 years ago, and losing pop a year and a half ago. yet surprisingly she's been doing ok and thinking positively. I have mostly been staying positive and helping be a support system, but it definitely hit me hard a few times in the last few weeks. I just have a hard time facing my feelings on these things head on so they come at me late in the evening.

we have an appointment in May for a follow-up in Tampa and I'm taking off of work to go with her. my brother has FMLA approved to be available as needed. it all just feels too familiar - but I'm not going to let myself think like that.

anyways...fuck cancer. and especially fuck Trump for basically halting so many promising cancer researches with his cuts at the NIH.

Really sorry for your Mom's diagnosis. Wishing you and her strength and peace to go through this *again*.

Nice to see you around and hope your break was what you wanted.

Sorry to hear it...a friend of mine is starting treatment for stage 2, she's early '40s and otherwise very healthy, and the treatment plan is pretty brutal (5 months of chemo, then surgery, then possibly radiation), it sucks. Third person in our relatively small and young friend group to go through it in the last few years.

So sorry, Neanderthal...

Oh man, I'm really sorry to hear that Neando. Sending lots of love and good vibes your way. I'm glad your mom has you to help navigate this though, even if it offers small comfort.

Hope you both are coping okay as far as possible, and Jordan's friend also.

Neando I'm sorry to see this, best wishes to both of you and to you and your friends Jordan

All the best to your friends, Jordan.

My yoga teacher of many years (someone who has been v positive in my life and changed it for the better, just by teaching me as well as training me to be a teacher) got diagnosed with lung cancer. She just had an op and hopeful of a good recovery..

love to you & mom & fam, Neanderthal. scary medical shit is the absolute fucking worst and you’ve all endured more than your share already… just wow. hope relief comes sooner than expected.

and likewise wishing Jordan’s friend and xyzzzz’s teacher speedy recoveries

I should have revived this earlier, honestly, but older ILXors will remember Ally/allyzay. She is currently going through her own chemo treatment for breast cancer, and has been posting about it on her Instagram and elsewhere. The prognosis is good but yeah, fuck cancer.

Fuck, really sorry to hear, and to all who know Ally well (only met her once 20 yrs ago)

Thanks all. Very sorry to hear about all the others battling cancer above as well :(

Love to you all, especially Neanderthal

Indeed so.

very sorry, neando

Neando, Jordan, I am sorry to hear of this battle for your loved ones and friends. I never met ally but her presence here was enormous and I miss it still. Love to you all. Love to all.

sending love to u both <3

love to you Neanderthal.

and to you, Jordan.

and ally!

mom starts on IBRANCE today. I'm much more worried about this one because it decreases white blood cell count and that's something you have to keep an eye on.

complicating things is that work told me back in March they wanted me to go to the Philippines in June for two weeks for a training initiative, but it was not until TONIGHT that they finally confirmed the dates and that someone (not necessarily me but possibly) is going. I don't like the idea of being gone a month into treatment, but I think that will occur after first treatment cycle finishes and first 'off' week. but I'm also concerned about having just renewed my passport on their dime in anticipation, which they could use as ammo and say "you were never serious about going!". but I feel like if I'm honest, that my mother's health significantly changed after the assignment came up, they'll be cool.

the other issue is the other person who would go has a husband and kids and it's not exactly an easy adjustment for her to go. she's offered to go for me but I need to talk to mom.

idk. this is stressful. keep me away from google!!!

(main reason I don't want to be gone is if mom wakes up weak/not feeling well some mornings, I can typically tell and say 'uhh i think you need to go to the hospital/doctor', and without me, there is nobody to be that second pair of eyes. but possibly my brother could stay over for two weeks).

that is stressful! Stay away from google!!!

I feel like if I'm honest, that my mother's health significantly changed after the assignment came up, they'll be cool.

yes that's legit and I should think so

I'm not going :)...woo.

I'm relieved for you, and also hope all goes smoothly with your Mom's treatments.

Fuck cancer, aye. All best, Neando.

We're dealing with a recurrence for my MIL. She had surgery to remove a small lung tumor a few years ago and had been clear after that, but it's back and advanced. They have her doing the pill-based chemo, which I guess isn't as intense in terms of how sick it makes you but still pretty bad. They think she can get a few years still, but it is looming and of course having a big impact on the family.

Good luck to you, Neando and tipsy, in dealing with this stupid disease.

Fuck cancer. Lost a good friend this week - long-standing but managed breast cancer which suddenly and unexpectedly metastised to the meninges. It was a swift passing after her eventual terminal diagnosis (she told me the day that they she had three months left, she died three weeks later). She was the best of people and I'm entirely done with losing friends to this thing.

My continued best to everyone who has this bastarding thing around their life.

i an so sorry to hear about this, ailsa. sending you and all who loved her some good vibes

so sorry to hear of your loss, alisa... that sucks. I couldn't even imagine being told that life expectancy info.
I lost a work colleague a few years back from pretty advanced prostate cancer.. he called me about a work thing on a Thursday (he had just received the diagnosis) and passed away the following monday; just super quick. It was quite a shock

Very sorry, alisa. Wish you had more time with your friend.

Really sorry for your loss, ailsa.

v sorry to read this ailsa, ❤️❤️ to everyone going thru it in the thread

Thanks everyone. It's just so cruel, the suddenness of it. As per Andy's experience, I had a work colleague whose husband went to the doctor with a cough and was gone within a week. It's just terrifying and awful. I suspect that's a better option than a long drawn out painful wait for the inevitable, but none of it's ideal.

I also hate talking about this to family as my mum is also going through her own breast cancer journey and me going "mind my pal that was in remission, well, she died" isn't exactly the kind of news she needs to hear.

Sorry for your loss, Ailsa - I heard of her death from a few different directions, she sounds fucking ace.