fuck cancer

ok, here goes.
after a long long day i have had a few glasses of red wine, so please bear with me.
on april 6th 2011 my wife was told "in error" that she had stomach cancer.
[long story - but this should have happened in my presence at some later pre-arranged time, but the fact was dropped while i was on childcare duties 30 miles away .. ]
given that my wife had previously been to see her GP for 2 years re ongoing stomach issues this came as no real surprise, but still, 2 years is quite a long time to have such concerns.
[turned out to be a stomach ulcer that had been left untreated .. resulting in the cancerous growth, but still the advise is that it has not spread beyond the stomach]
so after a 3 month stretch of radical chemo, to isolate and focus the growth, the surgeon today removed my wifes stomach, meaning that today is the beginning of a whole new life for us all.
so, the question is : are there ILX'r who have been through this process, as i have no idea as to what happens next !
how will she be able to digest food etc ?
and far more importantly, will red wine be no longer suitable as a method for her to deal with the daily demands of modern life ?
oh, and in the spirit of the original thread (i hate cancer) : fuck cancer.

as far as i could tell (i looked - honest !) , ile needed a proper 'fuck cancer' thread.

=( Best of luck to both of you

Oh fuck, I'm so very sorry to hear that. btw there is a 'curse cancer' thread but fuck anyone who holds this thread against you.

mark e, I am so sorry you and your wife are facing this. I know a few people who have had some or all of their stomach removed, for various reasons - each has certain foods that aren't processed well and so those are avoided, but digestion starts with chewing and nutrients are absorbed in the small intestine. One friend takes an additional enzyme with each meal, but the others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary. See if you can find a support group locally or on-line that can help with the questions/concerns you will both be confronting. I wish your wife a rapid return to health and strength.

while i understand and appreciate the concerns, can i just state the following : today is a great great] day.
the surgery went well, my wife is ok (as far as i know), and that is a massive, repeat massive thrill-buzz.
oh, and while red wine is not the answer to most of our daily stresses it can form part of our occasional parental release ..
(i would prefer a very loud listen-n-dance session to kylie, but hey, cant have everythintg ! )

others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary.

have heard this from others.
only time will tell.

ta.

Fuck cancer indeed, so many of my relatives are dead from or are have contracted some form of cancer.

My paternal grandmother had her stomach removed for the same reason back in the 1960s. Although her meal size was reduced, she still very much enjoyed food and drink; one of the first things she taught my brother and me when we used to go and visit as wee lads was how to make a "proper" gin and tonic for her. She lived until she was 90.

I really hope your wife can continue to enjoy life in a similar spirit, and that she's making a fast and full recovery from the op.

cheers bill.
cant believe that its only 7 days since surgery given that yesterday she was looking so good, and up and walking (aka "thank f*ck for the nhs").
and yes, the advise seems to be that she can eat-n-drink whatever.
there may be some food types that may cause issue, but hopefully, the main impact will be that meal times will be a lot more relaxed as opposed to gobble-and-go.

I guess it must not be too major to have your stomach removed since lots of people get their stomach removed who have a gastric bypass. I mean not too major compared to having your pancreas removed or your colon and getting an ostomy or something. I hope it goes well, I'm sure you will adapt in time and you will be just fine. SOrry to hear it

My grandfather is in the last stage of leukemia. I am trying to keep in mind he had a long and healthy life so far. But given that his life wasn't too great, it's difficult...

exactly one year on and shit gets raised to a new level of emotional chaos.

we weren't even able to get away for 7 days for some well deserved family time without a mad midnight 250 mile dash to a&e.

oh, and all the positivity and hope i displayed earlier in this thread proved to be fucking worthless.

outcome post chemo/surgery : stage 4. terminal. no more treatment.

we currently live in waiting rooms dreading the test results.

fuck cancer.

i'm really sorry, mark. my best wishes and support to you and your loved ones. and fuck cancer.

mark, I'm so sorry. fuck cancer.

I am at a loss for words. I... I wish I could take some of the pain away. Fuck FUCK FUCK cancer. I am so so sorry.

How terrible. I wish you love. Fuck cancer.

Mark, I'm really, really sorry. My best wishes to you and your family.

Echoing the above. Utterly terrible news.

emsley clan : -1

cancer scoreboard : +1

fuck cancer.

Mark, I'm so sorry; my condolences to you and your family.

oh Mark I am so sorry. sending you love and support in this time.

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

A hug and kiss for you, Mark.

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

― dayo, Thursday, April 26, 2012 8:35 AM (1 minute ago)

^^^ So sorry, Mark. Fuck cancer.

Sending you love and the tiniest lightening of this burden. I'm so sorry.

i'm so sorry mark.

Horrible news, very sorry to hear this, good thoughts to you and family Mark.

ta for the wired tlc ..

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

we were told back in december that there was a good chance of 12 months of settled life.

to say the last 4 months have been a living hell of health related shyte would be an understatement.

we have no let up from the hospital/a&e chaos, so in some ways, i'm glad that she is now no longer suffering, but damn, its heavy on those of us left behind.

how horrible, Mark. RIP, & I hope you too are able to find some peace in this.

mark i'm so sorry for you and your family's loss, i hope you all get all the love and support you need

Oh Mark, I'm so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the strength in the world over the next few days and weeks.

That is horrible to hear, take care of yourself, man.

Also: fuck cancer.

Oh my God. I am so so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how horrible the past year must have been for you. My best wishes go out to you and your family.

Damn.

My condolences.

mark, I'm very sorry. words on a message board don't do it justice.

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

I switched oncologists recently, going to the big medical center named after one of the Rockefellers. My new guy is the teacher who taught my two old guys.

We went down the list, talking about the medications I had been given, what my diet could be, drawing a DNA helix on the paper of the examination chair and saying 45 minutes of exercise based on my age x 5 - 2 or something. That last one, "What does running up and down stairs have to do with cancer?" made him literally stroke his beard and say "We don't know. Everything I've told you is basically an educated guess at best."

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

i have an uncle who is a highly qualified doctor in canada - and he basically told me this back last year, so while we were getting the 'we will cure you' story from various folks here, i've been quietly preparing for this outcome due to the insider information from him.

still, doesn't make dealing with the fallout any easier ..

good luck with your battle pplains - you have my heartfelt wishes and hopes for a more successful outcome.

for us, the big reveal was the discovery of an evil lump weeks after the completion of premium grade chemo that she underwent as that confirmed just how aggressive the fucker was.

(uncle confirmed that she got the best that was available .. so no complaints on that score)

Heartfelt condolences, mark. I'm so sorry that things turned out this way.

i'm so very sorry, mark.

Found out yesterday that mother in-law likely has pancreatic cancer. She got sick the day after we left for vacation, but apparently her doctor's been all kind of amazing and has run 6 months worth of tests in 2 weeks. From what I understand they think it's still in early stages, and possibly slow-growing though I'm still trying to make sense of everything so I don't exactly know all the details.

the worst part is that her Mum died of cancer when she was quite young, and her brother died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago, so it's just like AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

the gallows-humor lighter side is that because of a blocked bile duct she now has a major case of jaundice. She said over the phone that she was pretty green, but when she answered the door mr Veg and I were like, 'Whoa. you weren't kidding.' Wicked Witch of the West level neon green. It's really weird!

We visited with her yesterday - she's very scared, tired, etc, but still very much herself. I love her so much...it just fucks me up that she's dealing with all of this. Ugh!

bleh

AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

seriously.

hope they caught the fucker in time peppermint.

I know. I'd like to have her around for a lot longer :)

btw, my condolences to you, mark...a big DOUBLE FUCK YOU CANCER

cheers pepper.

borderline alcoholism + v. loud music helps.

a little.

<3 <3 <3

my mother in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer on Friday. Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart. My wife had to take an emergency red-eye last night and fortunately made it home before her mom died. now they're waiting for more tests.

fuck you, incompetent doctors, fuck you cancer, etc.

Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart.

due to the time, i am assuming you are US based pepper, cos this scarily similar to our situation.

3 years of 'problems' that were ignored cos it would have cost a few quid to send bh for a CT scan ..

so, yes fuck you incomp. doctors and fuck you tory policy to make doctors even more important in the decision making process.

once bh was escalated to the next level of care then it has to be said, the care was absolutely fantastic, but the fact of the matter is that he problems were ignored by the the GPs for 3 years .. and the GPs defence : 'bh is too young to get stomach cancer'

ok, time for more wine ..

hang in there, also check out the revive on the Steve Albini thread, very inspiring.

I was told just today that my aunt was in the final stages of her cancer, so I feel you. It's amazing how much money + resources gets pumped into research and how it's still such a crapshoot of who survives and who doesn't.

i don't know rrrobyn irl so i can't say much except i have enjoyed her presence and vibes and posts on this board. i hope she's ok at this time, this is terrible.

i'm sharing this here because its you guys. this is what i wrote on her wall on FB. feels appropriate to post it on ilx. this is where i got to know her and be friends with her! this has made me teary-eyed all day.

ROBYN! I know we don't know each other THAT well, but i feel like one-time ILX people know each other in ways that other people don't. I just wanted to say thank you for all the times you made me feel better or made me laugh on there! You have no idea how much stuff like that can mean! Raising little kids. Going through stuff. Hard life stuff. Sometimes it really helped to go on there and feel a little less alone. I'm sure you can relate to that. I know you have good people around you and that is so awesome and that insanely cute kid of yours is SO lucky to have you as a mom. You rock. Thinking of you.

Fucking awful

I’m not on FB so it comes out of the blue for me, who only knows her from ilx (where I’ve not seen her for a long time). She is one of the old skool ilchixors who were once a major presence here and now, not so much. I always felt a kinship with her, and felt her absence. I’ve had the same username forever; maybe someone on FB or otherwise could share my fondness for her and my best wishes.

Same; we are mutuals on a few socials but not FB.

I loved R and missed her posting. We met once in NYC in 2011 and she was delightful. This is too sad.

Hey people.

A mutual friend who is closer to Robyn and in better communication with her has been giving me updates and asked me to share a couple of opportunities here:

First of all, Robyn's colleagues at Delve are making a whole podcast for her. I don't know exactly where or when it will be airing, but they're asking:

We are creating a personalized podcast for Robyn. Please send a song that you think Robyn might like and a one-minute voice recording explaining why you chose the song.
Song: Send the YouTube link for the piece of music so we have the right version. We'll take care of downloading the full version.

Voice recording: Use your phone's voice memo feature [to record] a 60-second explanation [of the song].

Please send both to eric.dicaire @ mc gill.ca

Email without the spaces obv.

The second opportunity, set up by someone else, is a Spotify playlist being made that anyone can add songs to. That playlist is here.

I feel like both of these are places for ilxors to shine, and to share all the crazy good shit that Robyn was into and that you think she would love or has meaning for you in that way.

i see the playlist but it features no billy joel (yet) and i cannot figure out how to add to it : /

I’m sorry. Is this better?

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2wdqX99SutVr7KUL8pU4Nr?si=e1cb410c85e345f6&pt=13732e463600a30cfe49b449db3a0e66

Also I'm relieved to update that the Billy Joel is not actually ON the playlist, it's just being recommended by the algorithm or however these things work.

Oh god this is terrible news. From my very rare FB peeks I knew she had been ill but…
I never met her irl but she was so great to have around here and a person of such obvious quality
Dammit.

Haven't been here long enough to know rrobyn but her messageboard persona rules so hard I'm jealous of everyone who got to hang with her irl. my heart goes out to her & her friends.

Big love to dan m & warm wind and clear skies too <3

Only know of her as an old ilxor display name, one that was awesome to see. Very sorry to read this and best wishes to her family and the ilxors who knew her, especially irl.

Per her FB via her partner, Robyn passed late last night. I’ve no words.

Very sorry to hear. It's just terrible. So sorry to her family too.

just so sad! but i am going to remember how much she made me laugh. i'll always remember her. her son turned 10 yesterday.

im just so sad. at work today in a daze. thinking about my larger community of friends, many of whom were very close with her and her family.

I hope she’s surfing across the universe right now :(

❤️❤️❤️❤️ that made me teary Lex

just awful.

❤️, E! She always looked so happy in her wet suit!

i had no idea the lex was still here! wow, death really does bring us all closer.

A different Lex!

haha! okay. got it.

I have been a lurker for twenty years and still can’t shake the mixup 🤣

Longer than 20, oh lord. Anyway I’m the Toronto/red haired one. Hello!

Longer than 20, oh lord. Anyway I’m the Toronto/red haired one. Hello!

Longer than 20, oh lord. Anyway I’m the Toronto/red haired one. Hello!

ffm i know you’re not the Lex, just a different and equally rad one

Even if I click post 3x? <3

This is horrible news :( cancer is the worst

To quote myself from FB a bit, all the words I can manage: I don't know why, seemingly out of nowhere and without context, I posted these lyrics from Jane Siberry's "The Valley" on Facebook exactly eleven years ago. But it's a song that lingers, and has for me for years, and maybe it just had to be posted for it to hit right now. I have no idea if her fellow Canadian rrrobyn enjoyed Jane's work, but I feel rrrobyn's spirit here in these words, and where she walks now, I know she does so in good company indeed.

And every step you take
Is guided by
The love of the light on the land
And the blackbird's cry
You will walk
You will walk
You will walk in good company

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJpM--A9rDo

Robyn posted about her illness on IG, forthrightly and courageously. Her last installment indicated the prognosis had turned for the worse, still I wasn't prepared for this so soon. I felt about her the same way I feel about many of you - she was someone I considered a friend, kindred spirit and fellow traveller, even though we'd never met in real life or even directly interacted with all that much here back in the day. She made her mark in such a short time. My heart goes out to her family.

Hi all,

I just heard the news about Robyn and dragged myself out of ILX retirement to see if there was a way to get more information about what happened, and to generally commiserate with folks here.

I did not know Robyn well, but I met her on a few occasions - at a house party in Montreal with s1ocki, in Western Mass when she was passing through, and when she once visited us in Los Angeles and stayed in our house for the night. She was always so friendly, witty and fun to be around. I had seen a few IG updates about her illness but didn’t know much of the story, and hadn’t spoken to her in a number of years. This is the second person I’ve known to succumb to cancer in the last few months and it seems so utterly random, brutal and unfair. I wish her friends and family all the best. She brought joy to so many during her life, including all of us weirdos that congregate on this board.

hi adam, nice to see you, wish it was under better circumstances

Hi J! Hope you are well.

Terrible news.

hi adam :(

Motherfuck fucking fuck cancer

Dan :(((

fuck cancer. brilliant guy, the father of one of the kids i coach in climbing sometimes, passed after a long time with gastric cancer. in the spring i held his hands and told him i was rooting for him… but alas.

hard to see especially because my parents were both really sick as a kid and i have only recently been able to come to terms with how that experience altered me.

I'm really sorry for your loss, and your trauma.

Very sorry for your loss, tabes :(

and sending my best to you as well dan

same here, sorry for you both, hope you're doing ok. <3

Got a call from my mom this afternoon that family friend who I hadn't seen in over a decade but who I seriously admired and looked up to as a teenager passed from lung cancer, at just shy of 60. When I was weird kid who wanted to talk about books and film, she was one of the few adults who always took me seriously and engaged with me as if I were one of her adult friends, which meant the world to me at the time. Fuck cancer.

so sorry crypto

The friend of Jen's that I mentioned earlier died a fortnight ago just about a year after diagnosis, we're up to Dundee for some kind of commemoration tomorrow, but that will at least be some sort of closure.

...and one of her co-workers who was off with breast cancer for a while found out a month or so ago that it had spread to her brain. There was hope for some treatment - and then in this morning's staff meeting they heard that nope, the cancer is particularly aggressive, won't be happening.

ooof. Sorry to hear.

So sorry, Andrew