A Strawberry Patch, a Busy Housekeeper, and a Waterfall -- PART 2: The Meaning (*DO NOT READ UNTIL AFTER PART 1!*)

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READ THIS FIRST IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!

...

ok?

OK?

THE STRAWBERRY PATCH:
Size of fence = how sexually active you are. The shorter the fence, the more sexually active.
The number of strawberries you pick = the number of sexual partners you want in your life total.

THE BUSY HOUSEKEEPER:
Phone = Your LOVE LIFE
Door = Your FRIENDS
Faucet = MONEY
Clothes = CAREER
Baby = FAMILY

WATERFALL:
Those three words describe your orgasm.

(Spectra, Lyra... you were both right.)

...

Here were my answers:
STRAWBERRY PATCH: fence = waist high. 10 Strawberries
HOUSEKEEPER: Phone, Door, Faucet, Clothes, Baby
WATERFALL: Cold, grey, majestic

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 29 August 2002 16:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Evidently I am incredibly sexually active but desire to be celibate forevermore. I care about friends more than family more than career more than money and my lovelife not at all, although to be honest the clothes were more of a concern for me than the baby: the idea was that if I answered the door first I could say "go check on the baby while I bring in the clothes." My orgasms are ... quiet thin and misty. Oh Jesus. I reject these metaphors.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 29 August 2002 16:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Unsurprisingly, this is utter drivel. Just saying X represents Y doesn't make it so.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 29 August 2002 16:49 (twenty-three years ago)

hating strawberries = hating sex! wah! :(

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 29 August 2002 17:29 (twenty-three years ago)

hey, none of us choose to be this way, jel. And keep in mind, there are enriching benefits to the priesthood.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 29 August 2002 19:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I knew it! But now I'm disturbed by the fact that the strawberry field question reminded me of Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

― lyra (lyra), Friday, 30 August 2002 02:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm unhappy w/the height of my fence. Also I had the impression it was very forbidding, like someone wanted to keep me well away from those delicious strawberries.

― Andrew Thames, Friday, 30 August 2002 03:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Bah, it's all bollocks. I put my love life before EVERYTHING.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 30 August 2002 04:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, sounds about right. Close your eyes and think of Pasadena.

― Arthur (Arthur), Friday, 30 August 2002 04:34 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm disappointed, i am in a nabiscous paradox of horniness and asexuality

my orgasm = BARREL!!! swoon!

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Friday, 30 August 2002 05:19 (twenty-three years ago)

The number of strawberries = the number of sexual partners I want at one time ("if it's Tuesday, you must be Barbara"), or the number I want to have had at the end of my life? Three is not the appropriate answer to either of these questions for me.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 30 August 2002 06:34 (twenty-three years ago)

i cheated

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 30 August 2002 07:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Hahahaha my GINORMOUS Stalag Strawberry means I will never haf thee DURTY SEX ever! (Um, oops). But how does that work with the BIG SPLASHY WET orgasms eh!?

Career har har that is an amusing one: I wd get the clothes first because I find the laundry an unbearable chore, and want it over and done with ASAP and I'm not letting the fecking rain ruin it!

― Sarah (starry), Friday, 30 August 2002 07:46 (twenty-three years ago)

It's not how big your fence is, it's how well you knock it down and thus increase your chances of love.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 August 2002 08:12 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm sure my boyfriend would be thrilled to hear that I have a low fence which poses absolutely no barrier to my consumption of ALL the strawberries. But I suppose 'shimmering, beautiful and noisy' is as sensible a description of a (good) orgasm as any.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 30 August 2002 09:14 (twenty-three years ago)

it beats, green, dirty and noisy.........obviously I am secretly a Gollum lover.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 August 2002 09:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't fill out the first part but in my head my first answer was that I would have eaten all of the strawberries! That just means I'm greedy and lurve strawberries, I really don't want to sleep with everyone. I'm not a ho, no.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 30 August 2002 10:27 (twenty-three years ago)

i did fill it out and put down that i wanted to eat all the strawberries. i just wish now that i'd specified against the mouldy and wrinkly ones.

― angela (angela), Friday, 30 August 2002 10:41 (twenty-three years ago)

I mean if it had been a field full of rare japanese transformers i would have taken them all.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 30 August 2002 10:44 (twenty-three years ago)

oh no! i would pick the phone first but my fence was 50 foot high and i ate no strawberries!

― bob zemko (bob), Friday, 30 August 2002 10:46 (twenty-three years ago)

jel - YES EXACTLY!!

― bob zemko (bob), Friday, 30 August 2002 10:46 (twenty-three years ago)

That could have been a lot worse.

― zebedee, Friday, 30 August 2002 12:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I eat a few strawberries, but not too many as they're not mine

MWAH MWAH MWAH

― Graham (graham), Friday, 30 August 2002 13:01 (twenty-three years ago)

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