Sixth form literary review: 'Mayfair's new prodigy' Vs 'How my little brother learned to be a whore'

Um you might want to mention that the first of those links at least is very much NSFW.

if only the thread title would have hinted at some NSFW action

probably written during work hours tho

That Harry Hughes review is my new favorite thing in the world.

Campbell had a long and varied career in journalism before moving to work for Tony Blair. During his youth he wrote soft porn for the sex advice magazine Forum under the name The Riviera Gigolo.

I seriously don't think enough people have read and enjoyed that Harry Hughes review. It is magical and hilarious.

the same cannot be said of the other thing

this... is true, that's just horrifying

I posted the Hughes review on Google+ and former ILX poster Fluffy Bear responded with "THE HAT" which I think sums the whole thing up quite nicely

ach it wd be funny but he lives in a world where that hat and that review are a-ok and i'm pretty sure the people who live in that world cd give a fuck about us pressing our faces up on the glass and laughing

plus that little shit will likely be a senior cabinet minister at some point before i'm dead

icy shivers

d'you mean j. hari or h. hughes

why would I care even a little bit if dude cares that I'm laughing at him or not

h hughes, and it's not that i care but more that it feels like laughing at an iceberg or some other passing natural phenomenon

in fairness, icebergs are also hilarious

it's a different issue for you Dan you live in the most egalitarian nation on earth

the frivolous upper classes are serious business here in Harry Potter Land

it's a different issue for you Dan you live in the most egalitarian nation on earth

well sure, if you believe the lip service

also I had the advantage of going to college with a bunch of ppl like this dude so it's not like these folks are on my "untouchables" radar (I reserve that for truly remote, unknowable ppl like... Beyonce) (lol)

i may have been using ironic hyperbole re: egalitarian nations

lol I figured, just covering bases

sorry i am building a whole story in my head where i laugh at this guy for being a giant tool then he has me thrown out of his restaurant and given a shoeing in a back alley by a bunch of guys with 12th century French surnames

just remember as you lie there, broken and bleeding, that at least you aren't wearing that hat

i wd secretly like to appear "raffish" tho

Weird that the giveaway that the photo above was taken well after my own schooldays is not the t-shirt or the haircut but that they are on the same person.

I concede it's not in the same league, but I offer this J4gger-esque review of some band's first demo:
http://www.music-dash.co.uk/releases/printarchive.asp?item=897

jaysus

who the heck writes like this?

That has to be a parody. I can't conceive of a mind that would write that seriously. But then I would have said that about Harry Hughes too…

"yet there is a gnawing streak" <-- best bit

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a gnawing streak
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question…. 10
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

…to TEXTURES

I'm an insufferable snob apparently, 'cause that description of luxury actually sounded soulless and largely ignorant and for such a la-di-fucking-da luxury/know-it-all site, he should know better than to call Blanc's place 'Le Manoir' or maybe that's the chic way the local gentry refer to it since they can't be bothered to expend too much energy uttering foreign words. Anybody actually taken in by that writing is a fool. Iow, "THE HAT".

dance with the susurrations of the night, y'all

and then I’m happy to find the roast chicken and jus in spring vegetable ‘risotto’ being spooned onto my plate.

SCARE QUOTE FINGERS

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wow reading these just reminds me how much i do not miss being stuck as a peer review/writing coach in college.

well not so much the incest fantasy, these were simpler times.

I am choosing to interpret that as the incest fantasy making you nostalgic for your peer reviewing days, when you would go through 10-20 of your classmates' incest fantasies a week

thats not what he said?

see! writing clearly and concisely is hard!

the great thing is that it is not at all outside of the realm of possibility

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lol

I got off to a bad start. On arrival in Mali’s very 70’s airport café/boat lounge – at that moment but a hazy apparition of very happy folk bedecked with confusing sartorial embellishments – I realised that my own luggage, which itself held a collection of hats and a tiny guitar, was still at Columbo’s International Airport.

o_O

‘Your hat. Where did you get it?’ The captain lisped in perfect English. He looked like a cross between a young Keith Richards and Mohamed Nasheed – the Maldivian president.

‘I found it in my attic. It’s vintage.’ I lied, too tired to explain. ‘Probably my grandfathers.’

‘Your grandfather?’

‘Yes. He liked hats.’