ILX Variety Hour

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anthony and I were discussing variety shows and what a shame it is that they don't show them on TV anymore. The question then is, if ILX were a variety show, what would your act be?

― rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 29 August 2002 23:30 (twenty-three years ago)

reciting poetry-bad homoerotic poetry.

― anthony easton (anthony), Friday, 30 August 2002 00:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Terrible mysoginist 'take my wife...please' stand-up.

― petra jane (petra jane), Friday, 30 August 2002 00:45 (twenty-three years ago)

air theremin

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Friday, 30 August 2002 00:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Jandek covers

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 30 August 2002 01:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Comedic striptease. And speedreading.

― Andrew Thames, Friday, 30 August 2002 03:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I would hypnotise ducks.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 30 August 2002 05:29 (twenty-three years ago)

boxcubed I thought we already had our own variety show??

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 30 August 2002 05:34 (twenty-three years ago)

you were too hung up on real instruments, i felt boxed in...

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Friday, 30 August 2002 05:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Jel, I would pay to see that. I would have a northern 'good old days' schtick LIVE FROM THE CITY VARIETIES, LEEDS, dressed up Edwardian style with parasol warbling long lost sentimental songs. I would like a double act with Barry Cryer. He would be wearing a straw boater.

― Ellie (Ellie), Friday, 30 August 2002 08:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't like being on stage -- I'll be the curtain-raiser.

― Miss Laura, Friday, 30 August 2002 08:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I wd do a TAP DANCE complete with top hat and and sequins along the lines of Liza Minelli in perhaps CABARET.

I would do jazz hands! It would be an uptempo dance routine and end with fireworks!

THEY LOVE ME! THEY REALLY LOVE ME!!!

― Sarah (starry), Friday, 30 August 2002 09:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I am a non-escapologist.

― Rex, Friday, 30 August 2002 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Stupid one-line jokes, just like on ILx.

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Friday, 30 August 2002 16:19 (twenty-three years ago)

teleprompter

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 30 August 2002 16:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Joe Beasley & Cheeky Monkey.

― Venga, Friday, 30 August 2002 17:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll wear a tuxedo and sit in the balcony with some other ILX grey panther, booing and making cranky remarks about all the performers.

― Arthur (Arthur), Friday, 30 August 2002 18:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd be the potty-mouthed comic relief as well as the house baritone.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 August 2002 18:20 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

(poor) memory man!!

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd do Al Pacino's closing monologue from The Devil's Advocate.

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll tap dance and sing and when I get done it'll be all *crickets chirping silence* like with Daffy Duck.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be the guy drumming with all the buckets and other household items, such as frilly negliges.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Got the flamenco skirt on and flower in my hair...now I'll be doing the aria from Rigoletto....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm double-jointed in my thumbs and can do some of the hard yoga poses.

I'd be pretty shit at a variety show; maybe I could handle being a magician's assistant.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll amaze the crowd,
doing addition problems
by stomping my hoof

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i know all the words to 'surrender'! jel and i could play cheap trick songs

― geeta, Tuesday, 16 September 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

geeta, zoe, and i are going to start a band where we do over-the-top eurodisco covers of second-string '60s musicals

― smoky topaz (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

hell yeah!

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

God, I had forgotten I started this thread.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"Try to Remember (Where I Left the Quaaludes)"
"Rose's Turn (On the Dancefloor)"
"Sorry-Grateful (That I Went to Xenon)"

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

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