Indecent Recital--"boning up on the oboe"

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I have decided not to sleep with the woman, as I think it wouldn't be fair to my girlfriend. However, I came up with a little plan:

I have a video camera
I can wank
she can buy the resulting tape.

I have spoken to my girlfriend, and she is skeptical, but okay with it. I am pretty sure that the woman would be interested.

― Ashley Andel, Saturday, 31 August 2002 01:31 (twenty-three years ago)

: (

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 31 August 2002 02:09 (twenty-three years ago)

scandalous!

― ron (ron), Saturday, 31 August 2002 02:14 (twenty-three years ago)

i heart nu-ile.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 31 August 2002 02:17 (twenty-three years ago)

U DYKE

― msm, Saturday, 31 August 2002 02:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Have fun! Use lots of lube, she'll like that better!

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 31 August 2002 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

crisco, nabisco.

― Ashley Andel, Saturday, 31 August 2002 03:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Christ almighty, such smut!

― Andrew (enneff), Saturday, 31 August 2002 04:17 (twenty-three years ago)

You should offer it to everyone on ILx, think of the money you could make.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Saturday, 31 August 2002 06:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Ashley - do you like Ron Jeremy?

― david h (david h), Saturday, 31 August 2002 06:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Does anyone like Ron Jeremy?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 31 August 2002 07:09 (twenty-three years ago)

i like him, he has a big oboe

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 31 August 2002 08:05 (twenty-three years ago)

You like him because he has all-over body funfur

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Saturday, 31 August 2002 08:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Can you shove the n ew il* up your butt, and then it will be an indecent rectal?

― Queen nepotitihauca, Saturday, 31 August 2002 15:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I personally can't stand Ron Jeremy, because he sells creepy penis enlargement pills to people on late night television, claiming that there "is no gimmick, only pure medical science", or some dreck...shows obviously staged segments with "scientists" pacing around these bright, ominous beakers and smiling couples looking downward into supposed laps...he never discloses what the "medical science" is, and that rubs me wrong. I can't help but think of possible long term health problems and such.

― Ashley Andel, Saturday, 31 August 2002 16:46 (twenty-three years ago)

funfur?

― Ashley Andel, Saturday, 31 August 2002 16:47 (twenty-three years ago)

you know, it's springy, a bit scratchy, comes in various colors, patterns, gradients. hardens into a sort of exoskeleton when in heat

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Saturday, 31 August 2002 19:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a video camera
I can wank

You are a genius!

― Simeon (Simeon), Saturday, 31 August 2002 22:12 (twenty-three years ago)

what if she makes copies of the tape and sells them to all and sundry?

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 1 September 2002 06:31 (twenty-three years ago)

or posts them on the net

― anthony easton (anthony), Sunday, 1 September 2002 06:34 (twenty-three years ago)

then the circle is complete

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 1 September 2002 08:25 (twenty-three years ago)

You could get a friend to do this for you. That'd show her.

― Andrew Thames, Sunday, 1 September 2002 08:28 (twenty-three years ago)

The thought of having a video of me wanking off being readily available to millions of eyes doesn't worry me in the slightest, actually... Anyways, I have been looking into renting (to owning?) an oboe for about $50 a month for my girlfriend, so all this wank video talk has prompted me to make a video tape consisting of scenes of teddy bears and stuffed cats masturbating. (I have made puppets, I am going downtown to the supermarket today to buy the crisco, a "set" has been set.) I plan to intersplice footage of the dog crapping on one of the aformentioned stuffed cats into the finished product as well. I have labelled the tape "our little secret", and I am going to give it to the woman on Wednesday.

― Ashley Andel, Sunday, 1 September 2002 16:40 (twenty-three years ago)

ASHLEY I HAV AMATURE TAPE 2 TRADE PLS EMAIL ME CYBERDONG@NOTMAIL.COM

― nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 1 September 2002 18:10 (twenty-three years ago)

do i get a screening, you mad art wonder ?

― anthony easton (anthony), Sunday, 1 September 2002 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)

This is insane. Encode it as an MPEG4 video and I'll host it at ilxor.com ;)

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 1 September 2002 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

When Buddah walked over to Jesus, he noticed he was keeping Santa "Claus" from reaching his true potential. "What we need"he said" is to break the universe with our magical powers, so we can blow up billions of stupid plantes with like electrical currents and bombbabies!"

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Monday, 2 September 2002 06:22 (twenty-three years ago)

hey ashley, did you get the oboe already?

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 00:20 (twenty-three years ago)

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