how to become a batik master in five easy steps, by newt gingrich (aka newt gingrich's plan for saving the american economy)

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via http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/1995/aug/10/the-teachings-of-speaker-gingrich/?page=2 via max

Say you want to learn batik because a new craft shop has opened at the mall and the owner has told you she will sell some of your work. First, you check in at the “batik station” on the Internet, which gives you a list of recommendations. … You may get a list of recommended video or audio tapes that can be delivered to your door the next day by Federal Express. You may prefer a more personal learning system and seek an apprenticeship with the nearest batik master. … In less than twenty-four hours, you have launched yourself on a new profession.

Poll Results

Option	Votes
You may prefer a more personal learning system and seek an apprenticeship with the nearest batik master.	6
First, you check in at the “batik station” on the Internet, which gives you a list of recommendations.	3
Say you want to learn batik because a new craft shop has opened at the mall and the owner has told you she will sell so	0
You may get a list of recommended video or audio tapes that can be delivered to your door the next day by Federal Expre	0
In less than twenty-four hours, you have launched yourself on a new profession.	0

― dayo, Friday, 18 November 2011 20:09 (thirteen years ago)

tbf a lot of this turned out to be fairly prescient:

You wake up to a wall-size, high-definition television showing surf off Maui. (This is my favorite island—you can pick your own scene.) You walk or jog or do Stairmaster while catching up on the morning news and beginning to review your day’s schedule. Your home office is filled with communications devices, so you can ignore rush-hour traffic. … When you are sick, you sit in your diagnostic chair and communicate with the local health clinic. Sensors take your blood pressure, analyze a blood sample, or do throat cultures. The results are quickly relayed to health aides, who make recommendations and prescribe medicine. … If you need a specialist, a databank at your fingertips gives you a wide range of choices based on cost, reputation, and outcome patterns. You can choose knowledgeably which risk you want to take and what price you want to pay.

― The Uncanny Frankie Valley (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 18 November 2011 20:31 (thirteen years ago)

^^^ reads like a David Brooks column

― lumber up, limbaugh down (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 18 November 2011 20:37 (thirteen years ago)

Gingrich predicted not only the internet, but the hipsterkraft movement

― pass the duchy pon the left hand side (musical duke) (Hurting 2), Friday, 18 November 2011 21:49 (thirteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Sunday, 20 November 2011 00:01 (thirteen years ago)

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