make up some fake, inscrutable adages and post them here

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because why should the sandbox have all the fun

flags post o fu (darraghmac), Thursday, 2 February 2012 00:39 (thirteen years ago)

guys don't make passes
at tupperware classes

flags post o fu (darraghmac), Thursday, 2 February 2012 00:40 (thirteen years ago)

if you can't pick a zit with it, don't get upset with it

The I-Need-a-Cure Singers (unregistered), Thursday, 2 February 2012 01:21 (thirteen years ago)

a three-legged man needn't suffer the runs

"renegade" gnome (remy bean), Thursday, 2 February 2012 01:25 (thirteen years ago)

i was gonna but

flags post o fu (darraghmac), Thursday, 2 February 2012 01:26 (thirteen years ago)

yeah, it's pretty annoying. maybe i delete it.

"renegade" gnome (remy bean), Thursday, 2 February 2012 01:27 (thirteen years ago)

the passing of a sixteenth bishop occurs only on a waxing crescent

"renegade" gnome (remy bean), Thursday, 2 February 2012 01:36 (thirteen years ago)

the truth whispered from god to bjork will come to truth when the krill grow legs

"renegade" gnome (remy bean), Thursday, 2 February 2012 01:38 (thirteen years ago)

it is what it is, a zit

textile in thighville (get bent), Thursday, 2 February 2012 01:39 (thirteen years ago)

You've seen one hongro, you've seen them all.

Aimless, Thursday, 2 February 2012 03:09 (thirteen years ago)

putting the kart before the mario

rubber belly hand necker (CaptainLorax), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:04 (thirteen years ago)

if you've never had it, you can't say you've never had had it

his hands are a dirty fountain through which lives spurt (contenderizer), Thursday, 2 February 2012 07:35 (thirteen years ago)

the oily baby never sleeps

his hands are a dirty fountain through which lives spurt (contenderizer), Thursday, 2 February 2012 07:42 (thirteen years ago)

thread of this guy

http://www.jrj-socrates.com/Cartoon%20Pics/Cartoon%20Network/Ed%20Edd%20&%20Eddy/Rolf_300.gif

his hands are a dirty fountain through which lives spurt (contenderizer), Thursday, 2 February 2012 07:45 (thirteen years ago)

one month passes...

clean linen oft hid a pissy mattress

deconstructive witticism (darraghmac), Friday, 16 March 2012 04:31 (thirteen years ago)

hmm that's scrutable tbf

deconstructive witticism (darraghmac), Friday, 16 March 2012 04:32 (thirteen years ago)

you've got to lick it before you click it

plastic surgery dizbusters (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 16 March 2012 05:05 (thirteen years ago)

a stick in the guts is easier than a kick in the nuts

Kony Montana: "Say hello to my invisible friend" (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 March 2012 10:37 (thirteen years ago)

absent friends make for bigger rooms

deconstructive witticism (darraghmac), Friday, 16 March 2012 10:46 (thirteen years ago)

if spring is a hat, then summer is a cape

Euler, Friday, 16 March 2012 10:47 (thirteen years ago)

The third harvest of the year often withers the scythe.

aonghus, Friday, 16 March 2012 10:48 (thirteen years ago)

bricks make the brother

Euler, Friday, 16 March 2012 10:52 (thirteen years ago)

why buy a book when it's springtime in Shanghai?

Kony Montana: "Say hello to my invisible friend" (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 March 2012 10:52 (thirteen years ago)

otm

ledge, Friday, 16 March 2012 10:56 (thirteen years ago)

People who live in glass houses should not grow trees

Mark G, Friday, 16 March 2012 10:58 (thirteen years ago)

A bird in the hand is worth it.

Mark G, Friday, 16 March 2012 10:58 (thirteen years ago)

Be Patient: God loves a ciggie.

Mark G, Friday, 16 March 2012 10:59 (thirteen years ago)

There are more things in your bag than there are in that dude's knapsack.

Mark G, Friday, 16 March 2012 10:59 (thirteen years ago)

Painting is next to Cleethorpes.

Mark G, Friday, 16 March 2012 11:00 (thirteen years ago)

Going Commando is a bad idea in a good invasion.

Mark G, Friday, 16 March 2012 11:00 (thirteen years ago)

I could do these all day, but I shall stop with one I actually heard one small boy say to a small girl.

"My dad says your mum's stupid"

Mark G, Friday, 16 March 2012 11:01 (thirteen years ago)

the yolk of oppression is yellow as the sun and as runny as the nile

deconstructive witticism (darraghmac), Friday, 16 March 2012 11:04 (thirteen years ago)

Many a fan has been fluttered in the face of an owl

Scary Move 4 (dog latin), Friday, 16 March 2012 11:37 (thirteen years ago)

If you want the butcher's best, be gracious to your guest.

ledge, Friday, 16 March 2012 11:38 (thirteen years ago)

[You're] as predictable as a wooden book.

(actually heard someone say this once)

Scary Move 4 (dog latin), Friday, 16 March 2012 11:39 (thirteen years ago)

Shepherds' pats on your cheese slats

Scary Move 4 (dog latin), Friday, 16 March 2012 11:39 (thirteen years ago)

Morning is showing picture of a pony to a milkman.

lag∞na beach: the real ∞range c∞unty (beachville), Friday, 16 March 2012 12:32 (thirteen years ago)

A mug from a place you've never been/is sure to catch the whole world's sin.

lag∞na beach: the real ∞range c∞unty (beachville), Friday, 16 March 2012 12:34 (thirteen years ago)

you don't stifle a fart by holding it in, but by destroying the source of the methane

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Friday, 16 March 2012 12:37 (thirteen years ago)

The tweaking midwife always spills the bongwater of the expectant mother.

Soggy Cheeseburgers (Deric W. Haircare), Friday, 16 March 2012 12:46 (thirteen years ago)

If you can't trust a man, then you surely can't leave your house

1986 Olive Garden (Z S), Friday, 16 March 2012 13:03 (thirteen years ago)

A fart a day can make your troubles seem square.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 16 March 2012 14:25 (thirteen years ago)

If you want to win, make your opponent sleep backwards

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 16 March 2012 14:26 (thirteen years ago)

five months pass...

Wear a scarf in the summer? Someone barfed on your mother.

the same dope water as you (how's life), Thursday, 23 August 2012 10:19 (twelve years ago)

"Just because it rhymes
doesn't mean it's true"

Mark G, Thursday, 23 August 2012 10:31 (twelve years ago)

step on a crack, call the council.

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Thursday, 23 August 2012 10:36 (twelve years ago)

talk like you're wistful. walk like you're full of wind.

how's life, Thursday, 23 August 2012 11:37 (twelve years ago)

one year passes...

Penny time is any time you huff a puff of rye.

how's life, Wednesday, 21 May 2014 20:55 (eleven years ago)

New friends sit on your lap
Old friends give you dap

how's life, Wednesday, 21 May 2014 20:58 (eleven years ago)

it takes a rabbit to scare a miser

coign of wantage (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 May 2014 21:01 (eleven years ago)

When a loved one dies, don't be sad
Cos you can take their stuff

Neanderthal, Friday, 30 September 2016 05:58 (eight years ago)

Always listen to your parents
And get a stenographer to write it down
Then later in life, when they're on their deathbeds
Body them with their lies

Neanderthal, Friday, 30 September 2016 05:59 (eight years ago)

and take their stuff

Neanderthal, Friday, 30 September 2016 05:59 (eight years ago)

an ex-gf was incredibly funny w these (she used to do them in the voice of steve earle's character in the wire) but i cannot remember any of them because none of them made enough sense to remember. just remember not being able to breathe.

florence foster wallace (difficult listening hour), Friday, 30 September 2016 06:03 (eight years ago)

men seldom make passes, much like inert gases

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Friday, 30 September 2016 06:19 (eight years ago)

find a penny on the floor
Ned Beatty will come through your door

Neanderthal, Friday, 30 September 2016 06:20 (eight years ago)

If you can't see the forest, you can't hear the tree.

Zachary Taylor, Friday, 30 September 2016 06:37 (eight years ago)

Bodhidharma would have been all over this thread

erudite beach boys fan (sheesh), Friday, 30 September 2016 07:29 (eight years ago)

When the wind blows, the wind knows

droit au butt (Euler), Friday, 30 September 2016 09:00 (eight years ago)

One sweater, never better
Two or more, your father's a whore

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 30 September 2016 09:04 (eight years ago)

Red sky at night, shepherds' delight
Red sky in the morning, horrible morning

Lennon, Elvis, Hendrix etc (dog latin), Friday, 30 September 2016 09:10 (eight years ago)

two years pass...

You dont react to the shark, you react to the other fish in the shoal

provisional ilx (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 10:47 (five years ago)

remember, when your pants are down around your ankles- that's the time to pull your socks up

provisional ilx (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 10:48 (five years ago)

when you're in a crater, stop gravitating

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 10:50 (five years ago)

No need to make any up, literal translations of extant proverbs from other languages will suffice. To wit:

'Whether you like it or not, drink up the holy water, Gregory!'

'Placenta ahead, war backwards.'

'Like the Turk and his gun.'

pomenitul, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 10:55 (five years ago)

Hm, let's see, reckon you can work out what at least one of these is meant to convey

The dog doesn't catch the mouse
Three monks have no water to drink
One turnip, one hole
The candle illuminates others, yet destroys itself
Nine cows and one cow hair

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 11:56 (five years ago)

Or the classic "people mountain people sea"

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 11:57 (five years ago)

first there is a people then there is no people then there is

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 11:59 (five years ago)

if you are a big tree you have a small hand

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 11:59 (five years ago)

happy knife, happy life

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 12:13 (five years ago)

Only a pony rolls a blank stone

L'assie (Euler), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 12:58 (five years ago)

win at bingo, watch yo twin go

a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 12:59 (five years ago)

a hand in the bush is better than being bankrupt

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 12:59 (five years ago)

seek not riches, seek out bitches

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 12:59 (five years ago)

sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes you just have the peanuts

a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:00 (five years ago)

win at bingo, watch yo twin go

― a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 12:59 (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

yo la tengo

provisional ilx (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:09 (five years ago)

life is a marathon, not a snickers

provisional ilx (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:09 (five years ago)

there's a mile of shit 'twixt the ox and the abattoir

hoostanbank de reason lyrics mp4 hd video download (unregistered), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:27 (five years ago)

an inch of foreskin, a pound of forebrain
a spoonful of glans, a head full of sense

hoostanbank de reason lyrics mp4 hd video download (unregistered), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:30 (five years ago)

you can't see the moon through a borrowed spyglass

hoostanbank de reason lyrics mp4 hd video download (unregistered), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:35 (five years ago)

We're always a tithe away from theosis.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:35 (five years ago)

It's better to have a swallow at the table than a stallion in a stable

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:38 (five years ago)

two burnt cakes does not one unburnt cake make

provisional ilx (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:39 (five years ago)

Two whereabouts do not a what make.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:42 (five years ago)

A whale can't see its own tail

The Pingularity (ledge), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:42 (five years ago)

A sack of shit is always too heavy

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:43 (five years ago)

↑ good one, it just rings eternally true.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:44 (five years ago)

you can't yoke an ox to a ploughing engine

hoostanbank de reason lyrics mp4 hd video download (unregistered), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:44 (five years ago)

A spoonful today will taste ok
A spoonful tomorrow will taste of sorrow

The Pingularity (ledge), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:45 (five years ago)

a chandler never askses
an axeman where his wax is
an axeman never quandaries
where a laundrer keeps his laundries

provisional ilx (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:46 (five years ago)

Refrain from peeing through a keyhole
And putting keys inside your peehole

Welcome To My Lifemare (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:53 (five years ago)

boil the lance before lancing the boil

hoostanbank de reason lyrics mp4 hd video download (unregistered), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 13:57 (five years ago)

^vg

The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 17 September 2019 14:07 (five years ago)

four months pass...

If your butt feels sour, use that internal power

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 12 February 2020 16:12 (five years ago)

four months pass...

even a watched clock never boils

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Monday, 6 July 2020 20:38 (four years ago)

A swallowed turd does not coprophagia make.

pomenitul, Monday, 6 July 2020 20:47 (four years ago)

Where there’s a will, there’s a corpse

Dan Worsley, Monday, 6 July 2020 21:24 (four years ago)

clean arsehole, clean mind

calzino, Monday, 6 July 2020 21:31 (four years ago)

two wrongs don't make a right; but two rights send you into oncoming traffic

I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Monday, 6 July 2020 22:40 (four years ago)

the mintier the julep, the prettier the baby.

the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Monday, 6 July 2020 23:52 (four years ago)


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