lame/stupid grafitti

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I'm feeling frivolous to-day, so gimme yer stupidest/most pointless grafitti. The stuff that made you think WHY did someone bother doing that. My picks (all sadly on now-demolished buildings) are:

"FREAK OUT '73" sprayed on a bus shelter near where I live. Sprayed there in, like 1993 or thereabouts. Why?

"ANDY GASH SMOKES THE HASH" sprayed in MASSIVE letters on a derelict factory on my train route to work. Assuming andy gash is/was the guy's real name, why not just spray "drug cops bust here" on yer front door.

Again, on my train route to work, there was this tiny brick shed in the middle of this enormous & VILE post industrial wasteland - filthy scum- ridden ponds, boggy etc. One day, someone sprayed, with great care & attention, and very neatly, the words "BONKERS RAVE". "bonkers rave". Jeeeesus Christ.....!?

As a supplementary question. Assume you find a patch of wet cement/concrete. What you write there will remain visible for 20+ years. What do you write? Off the top of my head I can't think of anything I'd put, but it would have to be something truly VILE!

x0x0

"Jerry Cornelius", Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I live in one of the world's capitals of dumm grafitti. Lots of hippies...lots of feeble anti-estab. sloganising...lots of "profound" stuff that people writ when they were, like, REALLY OUT OF IT ..."float away with your mind" (illustrated w/ some inepto paisley swirlings)..."I WAS BORN LIKE THIS, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE"...just feeb shit like that. Nothing actually very funny that I can think of, sorry, 'cept - you gotta know some local music stuff for this one but anyway one piece o' grf. is a very popular local landmark since, what, 18 yrs ago - THE CLEN. (actual name of band that it commemorates - The Clean).

duane zarakov, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I live in one of the world's capitals of dumm grafitti. Lots of hippies...lots of feeble anti-estab. sloganising...lots of "profound" stuff that people writ when they were, like, REALLY OUT OF IT ..."float away with your mind" (illustrated w/ some inepto paisley swirlings)..."I WAS BORN LIKE THIS, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE"...just feeb shit like that. Nothing actually very funny that I can think of, sorry, 'cept - you gotta know some local music stuff for this one but anyway one piece o' graf. is a very popular local landmark since, what, 18 yrs ago - THE CLEN. (actual name of band that it commemorates - The Clean).

duane zarakov, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

duh, sorry...

same guy, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The kids who live in our block of flats and spend their evenings playing with lighters, having water fights and allegedly intimidating pizza / curry delivery men have turned to graffiti. But bless their little hearts, all they could come up with was the word 'sex' sprayed on the wall in blue.

Quite sweet really in this day and age.

Emma, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love tofu, but I was pretty offended by seeing the word TOFU spraypainted on the walls at 924 Gilman in Berkeley. Tofu's not punk.

Otis Wheeler, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For years along the North London line, I think near Canonbury, you could see written in large black letters the legend GEORGE DAVIES IS INNOCENT. The vociferous campaign to free the so-very innocent GD reached a peak in 1976 (?), when protestors sneaked onto Headingley (?) cricket pitch and wrecked it by pouring oil all over it (crude? lube? salad? I do not know...), ACTUALLY DURING A TEST MATCH!!

He was set free, to great rejoicing. Re-offending — I mean, first-time offending, duh — within the month (armed robbery) he was sent down for twice as long as before.

(In the 80s, spray-painting wags started a GEORGE JACKSON IS INNOCENT campaign, agitating on behalf of an unjustly banged-up character in Brookside.)

mark s, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

on the wall next the train tracks between shipley and leeds, there is the slogan "democracy: choosing your oppressor".

there is also, i forget where (anyone else seen it?) the slogan "women are angry"

i went to slovenia once, and the walls everywhere were covered with "sonic youth" and "jesus and mary chain"

the billboard at hyde park crossroads, leeds is always defaced with anti-capitalist slogans. there are a lot of similar slogans around stoke newington and hackney

interestingly, in both bradford and certain parts of london, there are detailed transfer prints on the walls, with things like "support the peoples war in nepal/peru/kazakhstan"...

gareth, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

although i don't think any of the above fits the definition of lame/stupid graffiti. that, i guess, would be stuff like "degz woz ere 9t6" or something.

i've just changed the front page of surface vs depth, which now features a rather well known piece of graffiti just off the kingsland rd.

gareth, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Personally, I find all graffiti pretty lame except for obviously cool slogans like "Slayer Rulz".

Nicole, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Re: PeopleWar, yes yes yes! "Support Chairman Gonzales! No the the Death Penalty", and what looks like a stencilled Posado woodcut of ole Abimael himself, glorious leader of the Shining Path!! From Dalston Junction to Camden.

They're Maoists: before they bought their stencils (or whatever), they wrote slogans and signed them something like "CPGB (Maoists)", which I always felt probably didn't play that well in Stoke Newington (let alone Hackney = Little Vietnam).

But WAR ON DRUGS IS A SHAM/PERU WILL BE THE NEXT VIETNAM is kewl, and that's them too (I think).

mark s, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've taken to drunkenly scrawling "TURBONEGO NEVER DIES", in various misspellings, on doors. I hope this falls in with Nicole's definition of acceptable graffiti.

Otis Wheeler, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

More cricket-related graffiti - think it was the Oval cricket ground that used to have "Whatever Happened to Slade?" spraypainted in large letters on one of its walls...

Andrew L, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love tofu, but I was pretty offended by seeing the word TOFU spraypainted on the walls at 924 Gilman in Berkeley. Tofu's not punk

Especially since they covered up all the Fang grafitti in there with all that shit. I mean, Fang is fucking punk rock -- two classic albums, then the singer murders his girlfriend, goes to jail, gets out ten years later, and reforms the band with all new members cuz the old ones are scared of him. But then, 924 Gilman isn't punk rock at all, really. There's nothing punk rock about grape soda for a quarter, that's far more than I've ever gotten from punk rock.

Kris, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"SKATEBOARDING IS NOT A CRIME" - who the fuck said it was ? Man, are those dudes paranoid. This induced my friend Philippe and I to start our "Peeling Potatoes Is Not A Crime" campaign. Also, about 12-13 years ago, seemingly overnight, the city got covered with skater graffiti, which consisted of cute little skateboard drawings with guys' skater names above them. Names like KILLER or ZOMBIE - you could tell they had stayed up all night thinking them up.

Patrick, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Our resting (rusting?) geordie gets to the moral side of the question here, with our so-called help.

4 years ago a friend got an apartment on south 2nd st. in williamsburg brooklyn. It was a v. hip neighborhood to be moving into. "How's the place?" I ask him - oh it's lovely he says, hardwood floors, french doors, the works. One day soon after I go to visit him. The five flights of stairs reek of both animal and human urine, and are covered with amateurish graffitti. When I finally reach his door, gasping for breath, and knock, I see that his door's been tagged several times, but the most noticable is right under my knocking knuckles, in small, very clear writing, "Fuck You." Most likely inspired by a broken heart or a coke deal gone wrong, years later it is still Truly Vile.

Tracer Hand, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The list of toys in the NYC graf scene is too long to be of any worth -- The people who are good just get swallowed up.

Pois is a Toy.

JM, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

>"on the wall next the train tracks between shipley and leeds, there is the slogan "democracy: choosing your oppressor".

S'funny, I saw one on the same line somewhere a few years ago that read: "communism is watching"

I used to see the same piece of graffiti in an undrpass on my way to work everyday, in HUGE, gloopy letters: "BL IS A BASIC BOY" and next to it "LETS KICK SUM SHIT". Very curious.

I lived in York for a time and my favourite graffiti was written, very neatly on a wall next to a small patch of recreation ground. It read: "I HATE TO SEE THE KIDS PLAYING IN THE DOG-DIRT". I always had a suspicion it was written by dreadlocked journalist, arch-prankster and poor Chris Morris copyist, Victor Lewis-Smith, who lived in the area at the time.

DavidM, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Re: the communism and democracy grafitti: It just proves that Manics fans should not have spray paint. I mean, I do the same thing with a friend from work on my fridge with magnetic poetry, and the stuff that it says is so amusingly lame, besides the obviously FANTASTIC slogan I came up with for us, which was "UPPER WEST SIDE PORNO DRUNKS". The rest of them suck ass, they say things like "SANCTIFY BROADWAY WENCHES".

There is way too much stupid grafitti in NYC though, I'd have to carry around a notebook to catalog it all, or even pay attention to it at all. It's just that bad. It's like the worst grafitti you could possibly imagine. I've seen "DUDE" spray painted though, just "DUDE", and I found that very funny.

Ally, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On a wall adjacent to the Hammersmith roundabout, in letters two feet high and stretching forty feet across, was written 'CHRISTIAN GOLDMAN? CHRISTIAN GOLDMAN? CHRISTIAN GOLDMAN?'

I had some affection for this peice. It was as if someone had heard someone say something so preposterous that they hadn't simply repeated it back in bewilderment, but had dawbed their incredulity across a west London flyover in a two hour grafitti spree of anger.

I was bitterly disappointed when I learned three minutes ago that the real reason was this:

http://www.orbyn.com/archive/2001_04_08_index.htm

Magnus, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

People just put swastikas on the walls round here.

DG, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In the highway underpass near my place a wild scrawl always reminds me that there's "just once in the twilight."

Kim, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Swastikas are coool. Huh-huh, huh-huh.

duane zarakov, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Near where I used to live in Christchurch (Linwood - white trash area with lotsa bogans & skinheads) - "DIE NIGERS".

duane zarakov, Monday, 18 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yo gareth - a rather well known piece of graffiti just off the kingsland rd. - what does it actually say? i totally could not read it.

duane, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

re: George Davis - I've seen "G.D. IS INNOCENT' grafitti in Christchurch - like anyone there would've even known who the hell he was. Again , I blame Sham 69.

duane, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

duane, it says:

"TONY BLAIR. REG KRAY HAS SERVED 30 YEARS?"

when i was a kid i saw loads of NF graffiti written where i lived in Brighouse, WestYorks. i couldn't understand why there were so many Nottingham Forest fans in WYorks. it was some time before i was told what the National Front was...

gareth, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On the lamp-post by the bus stom we have the fantastic "Phyco Woz Ere", I like the idea of a kid being so honest that his nickname is Phyco. The spelling leaves something to be desirted but its almost a meta-commentary on how thick he is.

Pointless bridge for parkland walk in Highgate still has "White Riot 77" on it - and it looks old enough. And only two weeks ago the never open Crescent Cafe on Crouch End Hill had a complete graffiti make- over. Fucked if I know what it says but is damn purty.

Pete, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For a good part of the 80s WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SLADE?? was emblazoned in huge letters across the outside of the the Oval cricket ground. I'm not sure if it was a request for information or a lament for their artistic decline. Either way, it seemed a very odd thing to spend time painting on a wall.

Nick, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yet again, Pete, I am left wondering whether the spelling and grammatical errors in your post about shitty spelling are intended to be ironic or whether you are merely revealing what a phyco you are.

(Shit, now I must ensure everything I type is perfect.........)

Emma, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On the wall in Swanscombe Park, Kent, throughout the 1980s and getting more faded all the time, graffiti promoting Queen, Nazareth, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin etc., dating probably from the mid-late 1970s. I hope Lawrence Hayward's reading this ...

Robin Carmody, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Aaaah, that does remind me of coming home from junior school back in the 1970's, and seeing VAMBO ROOLS and GROUNDHOGS painted on various walls. It was years before I had any idea what it meant. One thing I'd love to see, because it must happen, is where someone starts off some slogan, and reaches a corner before they've finished - like, FREE GEORGE DA. The best grafitti ever, IMO, is where someone draws an "I" between the "To" and "Let" of a "To Let" sign. Peurile, I know, but it never has ceased to amuse me yet...

x0x0

Norman Fay, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

RE "CHRISTIAN GOLDMAN!"

This excerpt from the link provided (above, a bit) made me laugh:

Does this mean things have got so desperate for Mr Goldman that he's been obliged to memesplat the countryside?

MEMESPLAT! Ha! Excellent!

x0x0

Norman Fay, Tuesday, 19 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

eight months pass...
i see maker slite selout and sycik every where

gggf ffff, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

on the steps by kaikorai valley high, there is lots of grafitti like "stuck up slut patty", "tits and bums" and the like. it amused myself and duckling no end.

di, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Somewhere in Dunedin a few years ago, I remember seeing 'BLAME GREG' spray painted on a wall. Actually I quite liked it, I didn't think it was lame.

Another one I saw and remembered was scratched into a table at The Captain Cook:

'AB(lightning zig-zag)CD'

rainy, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hamish, duane, di and i were at this appalling gig with all these young limp bizkit-ish/punkish/death metallish bands - we were only there because a good band, that duane was drumming in, was supposed to be playing and we were sitting in a side room waiting around for the other band members. Anyway some of the young lads came into the room and one spent about half an hour writing something on the underside of a wooden chair with a black vivid. i thought it was gonna be deep metal band lyrics or something, but when we looked when they'd gone away we found...it was a cartoon about g.g.allin taking over the world and blowing it up, but some homos survived but then the all died of aids anyway. disturbing.
i can't find graffiti along the lines of "(girl's name) is a slut/whore/fat/easy" amusing or funny; it's just too sad and common and i always feel a bit crushed by it.
there was a tv show here in new zealand set in and "about" this small town and they read out some of this type of graffiti such and such (girls 1st + last name followed by some kind of is a slut type comment) and there was an uproar afterwards 'cause basically the whole town knew her family and her parents were watching and stuff.

elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Whatever happened to good old-school KNOB graffiti? Sometimes a crappily drawn dick is all that needs to be said.

electric sound of jim, Monday, 18 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...
driving through the midwest (esp. after 9/11) you see a few 'god bless america' grafitti on overpasses. It's kind of funny, breaking the law to praise your country. In Rome there is a ton of grafitti, both stupid and otherwise. The subway cars are totally covered like NYC subway cars were in the 80s, it's beautiful. But you also see a lot of stupid fascist crap. I walked by a grafitto that said 'Bush Boia' a lot, I think that translates to Executioner Bush? Also this time I saw a lot that simply said 'pace.'

teeny (teeny), Saturday, 6 March 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a photo of my friend Aimee standing in front of a graffiti-covered wall in Rome, but it's really difficult to tell what anything says. It seems that one piece says something about "kill USA or die."

kirsten (kirsten), Saturday, 6 March 2004 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm lucky enough to see the word SEMEN everytime I exit my apartment building.

dmofo (dmofo), Saturday, 6 March 2004 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, in the elevator in my building, someone has etched a crude drawing of two people having anal sex and scrawled, "HOMOS" above it.

kirsten (kirsten), Saturday, 6 March 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

instructive!

teeny (teeny), Saturday, 6 March 2004 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah. The perpetrator wrote this on the fresh paint, which covered up "Fuck you and fuck Bush up your ass."

kirsten (kirsten), Saturday, 6 March 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

There's someone walking around downtown Manhattan these days simply spraying the word "R A P E" on things. No explanation. I don't find it particularly clever, meaningful, insightful or arty.

I'm also tired of reading "EARSNOT" scribbled on things. I don't care what it means. It's crap.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 6 March 2004 03:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm lucky enough to see the word SEMEN everytime I exit my apartment building.

There isn't an arrow next to it pointing downward, is there? Or outward? Or up?

Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Saturday, 6 March 2004 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

The men's room in the IU library has scrawled on one of the walls:

If you "support" George W. Bush ...
... you might be a redneck ...

Only someone has since crossed out "you might be a redneck" and written in a caret and "you might be godly."

(Below this, FUCK WAR has been Magic Markered into ROCK GWAR.)

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 6 March 2004 05:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"godly"? DIE STAB HELL

Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Saturday, 6 March 2004 05:51 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the caret that gets me! But yeah, "godly" was an odd enough choice of words that it's probably why I remembered it.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 6 March 2004 05:53 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.osric.com/~jeremy/sanfran/sanfran0277.jpg

Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:03 (twenty-one years ago)

is that a shakily-drawn giant farting butt in the upper left-hand corner?

Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:03 (twenty-one years ago)

That would make sense, seeing as how "ILXOR" is written directly below it.

maypang (maypang), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Or wait.. maybe that was part of your joke, huh?

*retires*

maypang (maypang), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

from here:

http://www.osric.com/~jeremy/sanfran/sanfran0265.jpg

Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

anyone in the DC area still see tags for Cool "Disco" Dan (done just like that) (well in his own font i guess)? they were everywhere when i was there on a family vacation about 15 years ago.

g--ff (gcannon), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I blame myself


http://www.quartzcity.net/~chris/2003nyc/alexinnyc.jpg

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

don't cry

g--ff (gcannon), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

What's this about goats?

maypang (maypang), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I was taken with the expression "Throw the Goats!" for a while circa 2001/2002.x

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

At the church that I attended when I was little someone had spray-painted "Satan" on the parking lot pavement. I was so scared of it I would always make sure to not to step on it.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

My first girlfriend and I once spraypainted sheep on the outside of a newly constructed church. Her mother was a diehard christian so it was typical teenage rebellion kinda stuff, I guess. We thought we were pretty cool at the time.

maypang (maypang), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, I have to admit.. part of me still thinks it's pretty cool.

maypang (maypang), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:33 (twenty-one years ago)

My english teacher in 7th gade once told us of some grafitti where one guy had painted "bob is gay" and underneath another had written "no, he isn't" and a third had finished it with "yes i am."

My personal favorite was driving across Indiana and seeing about 2 solid hours worth of overpasses grafittied with "Believe in Jesus" again and again and again until finally I came to one which had Jesus x'd out and "yourself" painted underneath.

I think neckface "wins" this thread though.

bnw (bnw), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

My favorite is just a simple "I Love You"

A Nairn (moretap), Saturday, 6 March 2004 06:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont think its lame, but it has a weird pathos about it. in leeds, "WOMEN ARE ANGRY"

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 6 March 2004 07:03 (twenty-one years ago)

ugh, neckface sucks.

When driving across the country in the year 2000, somewhere near Burnt Prairie, Illinois, I saw an overpass painted with the following: "Amber is hot!"

hstencil, Saturday, 6 March 2004 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Ugh the worst is in the bathroom stalls in the Cultural Studies building on campus these huge (like covering the entire stall wall) pro/anti war debates, all in LCD terms + stupid insults from both sides.

Dan I. (Dan I.), Saturday, 6 March 2004 09:51 (twenty-one years ago)

eight months pass...
There is a cafe on the corner at the corner at the bottom of our street, that has closed down. On the side wall, the former owners pained a picture of a soup bowl. Somebody w/an aerosol can has sprayed a penis on it.

they painted a penis onto a soup bowl.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 29 November 2004 16:40 (twenty years ago)

Sign in men's room in my office building which originally read "Please take your newspaper with you," cleverly changed to read "Please SHOVE your newspaper UP YOUR ASS." LAME.

n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 29 November 2004 17:02 (twenty years ago)

they painted a penis onto my soup bowl would actually be the best graffiti ever, though.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Monday, 29 November 2004 17:06 (twenty years ago)

Sad to say, since I asked the original question, all three of the grafittied structures have been demolished. No more "Freak Out '73"! I'll try and get a pic of the now very manly soup bowl in the next few days.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 29 November 2004 17:07 (twenty years ago)

There's some badly spelt invective aimed at Saddam Hussein written on a railway bridge here in Ormskirk. 'Cause, you know, he pops by all the time...

Matt (Matt), Monday, 29 November 2004 17:15 (twenty years ago)

in a former hip music venue turned coffee shop:
"(local music critic) FUCKS THE DEVIL!" to which someone (and I can only hope it's the journalist in question) wrote back "I didn't know yer mom was the devil"


Will (will), Monday, 29 November 2004 17:29 (twenty years ago)

seven months pass...
My summary of this thread:

http://www.atarimagazines.com/whizkids/community/page3.jpg

get to thA CHOPPA / A++++++ SELLER (ex machina), Saturday, 2 July 2005 03:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://southsidecallbox.com/ilx/peoples-1976-sep.jpg

the underground homme (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 2 July 2005 03:50 (nineteen years ago)

One time I was in some bar in Cleveland's exciting Lakewood area, & I saw the following graffiti in the bathroom:

FUCK LAKEWOOD
ARTSIE FARTSIE FAGS
LOOSERS

I think of it every time I think of Lakewood, & almost every time I think of Cleveland.

PeterAbe1ard (PeterAbe1ard), Saturday, 2 July 2005 05:08 (nineteen years ago)


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