ILE Bulwer Lytton Contest

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He was the fellow who wrote " It was a dark and stormy night "
So write the worst best opening line to a novel.

― anthony, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, in other books. But please don't compare this to them."

― Sterling Clover, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For a long time I could quote the entire first page of Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita. As I knocked my head against the punkrock, I forgot it... Lo-li-ta the tip of the tongue taking a trip down the palate... Or something.

― nathalie (nathalie), Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"They are fucking = they are monkeys."

― AP, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

once upon a time this girl and guy fucked.

― Geoff, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

" It was my own tummy, so why was someone else inside it...I ate Dad. "

― Mike Hanley, Saturday, 11 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"If current trends continue, client demand for the kind of robust, enterprise-level solutions that we provide may begin a slow ramp-down at the end of Q3," muttered Dennis Longines, standing at the head of the long mahogany table in what we like to call the main conference room, wiping his hands absently down the front of his slacks.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 12 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two months pass...

i think this should be reivsed

― anthony, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one morning gregorio awoke and dsicovered he was a doompatrol.

― Geoff, Monday, 29 October 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

So. The Bulwer-Lytton contest's due date approaches.

But, more importantly, the Lyttle Lytton contest's due date approaches. This is the more clever variation on the above contest, where brevity beats out wordiness. Check out the 2002 winners for a particular honorable mention...

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 14 April 2003 02:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Good god, this thread is very much of its time and place, isn't?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 02:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Well I wouldn't know, Ned. I wasn't here yet.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 14 April 2003 02:15 (twenty-three years ago)

'Twas a rhetorical question based on some of the 2001 motifs contained herein. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 02:25 (twenty-three years ago)

fifteen years pass...

bumping a 15-year-old thread and (quasi-)self-promotion be damned, the lyttle lytton winners:

http://adamcadre.ac/18lyttle.html

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Monday, 14 May 2018 14:45 (seven years ago)

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