local businesses with horribly formed "names"

"dog barfs" (mobile dog hydrobaths service)
"rug rage" (floor covering specialists)
"final pest solutions" (pest control)
"ashmore exhaust no muff too tuff" (car wholesaling and motor vehicle parts manufacturing)

also there is a florist which has "GIVE HER ONE TONIGHT" in huge letters on the side of the building
and a plumber's van with "I'LL FIND YOUR WET SPOT" painted on it

from my hometown:
"24 Hour Custom Slaughter"

there used to be a shabby mexican restaurant called 'la cucaracha' but it is gone now
and an old motel called 'casablanca' that was painted pink

what is custom slaughter?

It was a place that would come cut up your livestock.

"La Cucaracha" reminds me of the Boise restaurant "The El Gringo," which advertised itself as "home of the six foot burrito."

The Framing Dragon

someone should set up a worldwide chain of creative advice bureaus for people who think things sound catchy.

Cutting Remarks - a hairdresser, presumably one who gives you insult-worthy haircuts

Nails That Are Noticeable

there is a gas station near our house, located on cutting blvd, called CUTTING GAS.

In Bremerton, Washington there is (was) a dog grooming place called Doggy Style

I guess that's pretty well formed, just in somewhat poor taste

In my town some bright bulb chose to open an asian fusion cuisine restaurant, naming it: fuAsian. <-- no joke.

The Framing Dragon

please tell me this is run by framers of Chinese descent

fuAsian is just plain hopeless.

There is a shop specialising in Indian confectionary here in Glasgow called "Decent Sweets". Ironically their sweets are actually delicious.

i admire their modesty.

Absolutely! It always makes me smile. In Glasgow "Nae Bad Sweets" would have been even better though.

http://cdn.randomfunnypicture.com/pictures/1771bad-restaurant-name-15.jpg

The drive-thru bottle shop at the Dick Whittington tavern down the road is called DICK LIQUOR

JIZZ FASHION

there's also Lick Her Store on oxford st in sydney

There was also a Big Duck n Fish company store in Malvern - it made big plates/ceramics.

electricsound posted this the other day on another thread:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2328/2444755092_9296a89496.jpg

There was a pub here that they did a horrible job of updating and unfortunately they renamed it Fubar

Hahahahah estela :D

This is my favorite named shop ever though some might think it horrible (THEY WOULD BE WRONG). In London by Waterloo station:

http://www.london-se1.co.uk/restaurants/images/040129_fishcotheque.jpg

The Jazz Butcher agrees...

http://flashback.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/l/f/lfb20934.jpg

http://www.hifi-writer.com/blog/graphics/sneeds.jpg

i just had a pang that maybe this thread should be deindexed because some of these businesses are quite small and probably run by perfectly fine hardworking people who might end up glum when they google their businesses hoping to find good reviews from the public. so if a mod reads this can you please do that?

meanwhile, "the groper and his misses" is a terrible name for a fish and chip shop.

OMG Taco

they have a "WTF Menu" where the "WTF" stands for "Wow, That's Fresh"

i-cream (an ice cream shop)

I've always thought that a little more thought should've been put into the name of Raper RV. Yes, I understand that it's your last name, but still.

'Fishcoteque' always makes me smile when I cycle past, there's that taxidermy place around Angel called 'Get Stuffed'

There's a builder's van I see in Exeter occasionally which has the legend "For a big erection, call 01392 [etc]". sadly I think the 'company' name is just his name appended with 'builder'.

There used to be a kebab shop in Leeds called Kebabylon, iirc.

In Northern Finland there is a swamp area whose name is "Äteritsiputeritsipuolilautatsijänkä"; it comes from the Sami language spoken by the indigenous people of the area. In the neighbouring town, someone thought it would be a funny idea to name a bar (which has since closed) after the swamp:

http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiedosto:Ateritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari.jpg

According to Wikipedia, they didn't answer with the phone with the full name of the bar, just "Äteritsi bar".

Sorry, the pic didn't work in the previous post:

http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiedosto:Ateritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari.jpg

Eh, looks like Wikipedia doesn't support hotlinking anymore.

Hopefully this one works:

http://www.veikkovasama.net/blogikuvat/baarin_nimi.jpg

in stokey
http://noisydecentgraphics.typepad.com/design/images/2008/01/31/dsc00125.jpg

haha

http://images.travelpod.com/users/emmab/italy.1206088380.big_tits_restaurantx_tampere.jpg

Here's another Finnish restaurant, though I guess it's more "painfully honest" than "horribly formed".

it comes from the Sami language spoken by the indigenous people of the area

I've always thought that a little more thought should've been put into the name of Raper RV.

I spent two years living in Missouri as a kid, was inundated with Tom Raper RV commercials ALL THE TIME.

there is one of those quasi-apple store reseller places near me named St0rmfr0nt which bugs the shit out of me. Would you open a store without googling the name to see if, oh I dunno, if might have some bad connotations first?

Maybe they only sell white Power Macs?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxoD_1I6S_A

this is about a shop on the other side of town although the company seems to be based in Shropshire and has a number of outlets in the UK

Lol at sellfridges. Crackle box - fishcoteque always made me smile too.

There's a textiles shop in town called 'Basket of Threads'. Before that, it was 'The Sewing Machine Box'. Ouch.

really grim chip shop called "fish plaice", looking at the pun on the shopfront is like seeing the ghost of a child in a dying old man's angry gnarled face.

(yes I'm aware Cook is the county)

I don't have a real-world example at hand, but I hate it when people can't come up with a company name and instead just cram the first few letters of the 2 founder's names together:

Davric Plumbing Supply
Robmar Consultants

https://www.its-behind-you.com/images/10Dartford_large.jpg

Desilu Productions (/ˈdɛsiluː/) was an American television production company founded and co-owned by husband and wife Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball.

Davlav combines the name and the business.

And out of the recesses of my M*A*S*H-ed mind floats the answer to what "B.J." stands for in B.J. Hunnicut.

Pieseas Chippy, Harwich.

If we can extend the thread concept to podcasts, I just learnt that right wing journo Katy Balls has a podcast named Women with Balls

Not local to me, but:
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tr723ZTDJYs/maxresdefault.jpg

Barber Streisand is bad.

Book Pasaage is actually kind of clever as these things go

idgi

Ditto.

like you are going to "book passage" on a ship, but also a book is something you read that has passages in it?

I don't have a real-world example at hand, but I hate it when people can't come up with a company name and instead just cram the first few letters of the 2 founder's names together:

looking at the local area on google maps recently i came across (googleproofing it) 'Naz-1sh alterations', guess what I read it as :/

xp my immediate thought was "back passage".

Yeah, back passage = arsehole

there's no way that that's what the bookstore was thinking

well, on re-reading the thread title, maybe the contention is that the bookstore is unaware of the connotation, but i don't really think "book" sounds anything like "back" or that the name of the store brings to mind an anus

you don't think it sounds *anything* like back?

Not enough to work as a pun, I think that's down to the vowel lengths being different.

Yeah I'm pretty mystified by "Book Passage". I'd grant it as an arse pun, though I agree the vowel isn't quite right here (maybe depends on your accent?).

My first thought was "book passage" on a ship - it's pretty antiquated language (would feel a bit arch saying I "booked a passage" on the ferry to France). Not sure what they'd be going for there. Having said that, "back passage" for anus is pretty dated too - it's a bit Carry On.

If it was like a really narrow bookshop ... like a passage between shelves? But it looks like a big modern building.

Perplexing.

To make up, here's a classic that I don't think's been mentioned yet (in no way local to me, but I did once drive past it)
https://live.staticflickr.com/97/246596908_7c0d89c705_b.jpg
(yeah it was challenge trying to search for this)

According to their website, "Book Passage" was originally the name of their mail order division before being adopted for the whole company. So "passage of books" seems to have been the intent.

I am firm that it is a non-filthy double entendre meaning "book passage" on a ship, and a "passage" from a book.

not exactly local but "Duke Cannon" always brings to mind someone launching dog turds at people

Yeah, they sell that stuff at my local Ace Hardware and it just makes me think of poop shooting out of a butt, so no thanks.

http://hipsterbusiness.name

local junk removal service: "Annie Haul"

that's awesome

https://www.hungryones.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/jus.fishy_.2792-1024x671.jpg

not the name of a business but a local crab shack has a sign on their building that reads “WHAT A LOAD OF CRAB!!” and every time i pass it i giggle uncontrollably

Changed from 'The Curry Smuggler' to 'Vlogs of Hyderabad' (?) Currently closed again for retooling

http://www.vlogsofhyderabad.com.au/victoria/

From that website

In contrast to other Indian eateries, Vlogs of Hyderabad was made with the explicit expectation to appear as something else.

LOL

“Horribly formed” is probably unfair but these tree surgeons made me smile: https://www.rootsmanoeuvred.org

1100 posts and no mention of Ruth’s Chris Steak House!

that’s not a local business, it’s a chain?

^

i've been wondering if this place has any regrets in recent months

https://i.imgur.com/SrBJolo.png

"very pizza"

Bake Me Home Cookie Road

https://i.ibb.co/YFK4thw5/IMG-9418.jpg

Potatoast in Worthing in case that doesn't show up

also this legendary place in Portslade...

https://i.ibb.co/wZdhDxJn/fishtucky.jpg

There’s a hardware store near us called Be In Queue DIY, which I think of as a close cousin to the white goods shop not far away called Sell Fridges.

lol that's great
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FKi6ETiXIAANsNu.jpg

Huff Septic

It's Bagel

There's a little gallery in my town called "Denouement Fine Art" that I always wonder if it's a self-deprecating reference to probably being someone's retirement vanity project.