Are you obliged to hurry when there's a queue behind you?

If I've got tons and one person has one item, I almost always let them go ahead of me.

But in train ticket queues, no way in hell. If someone is in a SUPER URGENT RUSH it invariably means that they will ask 40,000 questions and hold up the entire line, so they can WAIT THEIR FUCKING TURN.

Yes, I get worked up about this, it annoys me. I hate queueing.

I think if someone is using the phone, then that's just too bad. Look for another phone or think "oh well".

Ticket queues in stations can be MENTAL though especially if there's not a dedicated complaints/info desk. You always end up behind some fucker who's been overcharged 20p for his travelcard and is giving the poor bloke behind the counter grief for half an hour about it. With automatic ticket machines I have on several occasions thought oh for fucks sake and asked if the people need help using it. I have not as yet been knifed.

Dave Q we'll make a Britisher of you yet!

I used to live somewhere without a phone and there was a block of housing department flats nearby where there were many people without phones. There was one phonebox nearby.

One night I went to the phonebox and there was a guy in there talking and two others waiting to use it. The guy on the phone was just chatting, not even having proper conversations. It sounded as if there were a few other people at the other end and there was a lot of "what did she say", "no come one, tell me", "ha ha", "what's going on" blah blah blah shite going on. Basically your normal, teenage, spend the whole night on the phone kind of stuff.

After about 15 minutes the other two got sick of waiting and both left. Another guy turned up, eventually got sick of waiting and left too. I had attracted the attention of they guy on the phone a couple of times during this time to let him know that I was waiting and he kind of scowled and ignored me. After almost 45 minutes and after tapping him on the shoulder again and asking him to hurry up (and I think I offered him 30c so he could call them back later) I finally just hung up on him.

He told me I was a bitch and hung around and then hung up on me as soon as my call was answered and then ran away. I was only talking to the operator asking her to connect me to someone anyway, so it didn't cost me anything and I just called again.

I still can't believe how inconsiderate and rude he was. He probably thinks the same thing about me. Difference is I'm right.

"to the north i go not"

I was told off for failing to observe queueing protocol waiting for a 53 in Woolwich recently; b-but I was checking the timetable!

In New York a few years ago I noticed everyone seemed very polite about queuing, except for the bus to the airport where surly Europeans were milling about - until the bus arrived whereupon there was scuffles galore.

Er, I just wanted an excuse to rant. Sorry. I don't normally mind people ahead of me taking too long, but I do get annoyed if a queue's forming in a shop or whatever and the person at the front is just gossiping with the staff. However when I'm at the front I get neurotic about taking too long and end up faffing even more than I would otherwise, eg over packing bags and pocketing change and the like.

Paris Metro gave me panic attacks, and that was when I was accompanied by someone who knew the language (yeah, so I spent seven years learning French, and a complete waste it was too) and the layout and so on, I'd rather not think about the horror of trying to navigate it alone. Shudder.

I went to the Crouch End cash point on Saturday morning and there was a guy using the machine and a lady waiting behind him in line. So Alasdair and I got in line behind her, and then when the guy was done, another lady came and got in the line behind us. So there are about 3 people in this line and a guy walks by, looks at the line, and exclaims, "For Fuck Sake!" and goes into the bank directly. Meanwhile the lady at the cash point is making impatient "tsk" noises with the machine. I'm standing there thinking, it's Saturday morning - 10:00 - people have got to learn to relax a little. Did that time you saved by hurrying not just get negated as you walked away from the ATM - forgetting to take the money that you had just requested. This is the problem with cities.

I''m only impatient with traffic when I'm in a bus! And also when I'm waiting for a bus to arrive. Maybe also with slow walking pedestrians on Oxford street etc.

It takes me roughly fifty seconds.

It seems to take everyone else about seventeen fucking minutes.

You are right, Kate. Who can explain this phenomenon?

Actually, no-one has much to do in Dunedin, so come to think of it, insisting someone go ahead of you is probably the equivalent of having a love affair in London. (Or is it just me?)

Someone tried to insist that I go ahead of them at a ROUNDABOUT yesterday. They were on the roundabout, STOPPED, signalling 'go, go.' That's ridiculous!

I could talk about this queueing thing for days. This is like a dream come true!

A few months ago I had a supermarket problem where old people would just walk into the queue ahead of me. It was really paining me - did I seem that unthreatening? I imagined their internal monologue as something like, 'stupid little chit. This little wisp of fluff deserves to be at the back.'

Sorry! It's just I didn't know you were a thief!

mark s why on earth did you buy THAT *points*
well, i asked for [whatever] but in quite a weedy and quiet way, and when the assistant handed me that i couldn't think of a reason why i didn't want it etc etc

That does mean you have to sit next to two strangers. The horror!

Queueing to get on a plane is the only form I have patience for. Something that almost made me fall over with exasperation: someone paying for something by cheque but using their debit card as a cheque guarantee card.

Another way to identify yourself as a newcomer to Brum involves putting your money in the machine on the bus and waiting for change (hint: you don't get any), and asking if the bus goes to Corporation Street. I did both of these in one go. I was well chuffed with that.

The reason for this, of course, is that they've no money in their account. Their debit card will be rejected by the mad machines, but a cheque will go through (either to push them into unauthorised overdraft territory, or offset against money due a couple of days later).