If necessary for your survival, do you think you could resort to cannibalism?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

like in an "Alive"/Donner Party scenario

Poll Results

OptionVotes
yes 36
no 5


congratulations (n/a), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:05 (thirteen years ago)

i think i probably could

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:06 (thirteen years ago)

only if it meant eating you

desk calendar white out (Matt P), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:07 (thirteen years ago)

I dunno. I definitely couldn't "prepare" the meat (cut up another person), but if it were served to me and I was on the verge of starvation I'd probably give it a go.

Johnny Fever, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:07 (thirteen years ago)

yes and i'd also be the dude who's enjoying it a little too much and making the rest of the plane crash survivors really uncomfortable

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:12 (thirteen years ago)

wouldn't do this

Disco Bob & MC Criminal (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:18 (thirteen years ago)

not into killing other people - who determines who goes first, etc. is a fucked up process I would refuse to participate in.

Disco Bob & MC Criminal (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:18 (thirteen years ago)

what if a dude JUST DIES on his own and you realize you have to eat him before he goes bad

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:19 (thirteen years ago)

If it were an Alive situation then yest I would do it without question and I don't even eat meat in general.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:19 (thirteen years ago)

That is to say that if the people were already dead * really think it would be a no brainer for me. If they were alive as Shakey is describing it would be totally different.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:20 (thirteen years ago)

I wouldn't kill someone (probably) but yeah, if someone else prepared the meat I could imagine being able to eat human flesh.

emil.y, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:21 (thirteen years ago)

*om nom nom*

emil.y, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:21 (thirteen years ago)

i wonder what would be the choicest cut of manmeat

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:21 (thirteen years ago)

Your username possibly provides an answer?

beanz meanz lulz (snoball), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:22 (thirteen years ago)

I get really cranky when I don't eat, I could prob eat human flesh after...3 days?

iatee, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:23 (thirteen years ago)

not that I *want to* but if I were on a desert island w/ no food and a dead body, sure, 3 days

iatee, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:23 (thirteen years ago)

i'm a vegetarian cuz i want to avoid killing things but in an Alive situation the moral permission to find out what people taste like would probably be the one bright spot of the entire scenario

their private gesture for bison (difficult listening hour), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:23 (thirteen years ago)

more curious about the people who think they just absolutely couldn't do it, even if it was someone who was already dead. seems like an underestimation of what truly facing death by starvation would be like. but i'm pretty sure there were people in the donner party who refused to partake and died of starvation.

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:24 (thirteen years ago)

not that I *want to* but if I were on a desert island w/ no food and a dead body, sure, 3 days

pretty sure by 3 days that meat has gone bad

Disco Bob & MC Criminal (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:25 (thirteen years ago)

I am choosing to parse "an 'Alive' situation" as meaning "whenever you hear the Pearl jam song"

voted yes

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:25 (thirteen years ago)

Yeah, idk. Eating someone who is already dead just doesn't seem that bad to me if it means I get to live. If it were all frozen and stuff it probably wouldn't even be really gross. I read that book a bunch of times (why I have no idea) and I think they cooked some of it by laying it out in the sun and drying it out.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:25 (thirteen years ago)

weren't there people who made it out OK without having to eat their buds in both alive/donner party?

Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:26 (thirteen years ago)

AS far as Alive goes, I don't think so. Everyone that refused to eat their friends wound up dying. I think.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:26 (thirteen years ago)

I have also seen that movie several times but I know why I did that - Ethan Hawke never looked hotter than he did playing a sunburned unshaven cannibal.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:27 (thirteen years ago)

as long as we're talking dead bodies, if you're an atheist its sorta just one of those biological reactions that you just have to get over, sorta like 'can two siblings get married if they agree to have no kids'

iatee, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:27 (thirteen years ago)

the donner party story is pretty involved and confusing and most of what we know about it comes from (often conflicting) stories from people who were there who had their own motivations etc., there were two different groups (one who camped out waiting for rescue and another that tried to continue on to california and get help) that resorted to cannibalism, etc so i don't know if there's really 100 percent reliable info about who did what exactly

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:28 (thirteen years ago)

like the group that was trying to get to california ended up killing their indian guides and eating them but there's conflicting info on how close to death the guides were before they were killed (ie was it a mercy killing scenario or not)

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:30 (thirteen years ago)

sunburned unshaven cannibal

read this as 'sunburned buttshaven cannibal'

preternatural concepts concerning variances in sound and texture (contenderizer), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:31 (thirteen years ago)

What I think now, in the comfort of my home, with a full belly and a nice cuppa, is probably irrelevant should this situation ever arise.

Aimless, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:32 (thirteen years ago)

i remembered reading some book which i think was alive where the church gave them post facto dispensation to eat their pals, but that some of the dudes didn't need it because they abstained, and i always imagined the pope doing a little aside like, "this applies to everyone except timmy and jeffy, who unlike SOME people, don't fill up on snacks before getting rescued."

Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:33 (thirteen years ago)

If necessary for your survival, do you think you could resort to cannibalism?

http://www.catholicvote.org/discuss/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/romney-santorum.jpg

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:33 (thirteen years ago)

With relish.

Jeff, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:34 (thirteen years ago)

obviously we want to respect the dead but i think if my loved ones were trapped w/ my dead body i sure as hell would rather they live than me get a decent burial.

one thing i wonder about is if i just died one day in the house, after a few days would my dog start chomping on my nose and cheeks or would he sit with my body and starve to death

also i really wonder whether its possible for me to predict exactly what i'd do if i crash-landed in the andes or was trapped in a tiger cage or whatever

the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:38 (thirteen years ago)

What I think now, in the comfort of my home, with a full belly and a nice cuppa, is probably irrelevant should this situation ever arise.

cuppa WHO

iatee, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:38 (thirteen years ago)

the idea that respecting the dead = preserving their dead body as long as possible is ultimately cultural and prob a good thing to trend away from

iatee, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:39 (thirteen years ago)

I was going to say something about some people living by the credo of not doing to their loved ones in death what they wouldn't do to them in life but then I saw the massive rationalization for necrophilia lurking behind that statement and now I am just looking at my subconscious like this:

http://hellinahandbasket.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/skeptical-baby-looks-askance.jpg

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:44 (thirteen years ago)

I put human flesh on my rider just so I have a little every night in case I do at some point find myself having to subsist on it

same old song and placenta (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:46 (thirteen years ago)

I am imagining you with a huge Dagwood-sized placenta sandwich, chomping away merrily backstage while the apocalypse rains down

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:48 (thirteen years ago)

"...can you push stage time back 10 minutes and get me some bromo? that placenta reuben's really rearing up on me"

same old song and placenta (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:50 (thirteen years ago)

how much does a lb of flesh go for these days anyway?

the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:53 (thirteen years ago)

oz of prevention iirc

same old song and placenta (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:55 (thirteen years ago)

xpost Would it be bad after three days? You hang game for longer. I think you've cut and prepared and hung that juicy human flesh in a cool, dry place, you're OK. If, on the other hand, you've got a whole corpse and you're in the rainforest then it might be unappetising fairly quickly. But if you were in the rainforest you might be able to find something else. Cannibalism as a necessity seems to arrive in icy circumstances, where there is no opportunity to forage for anything else, and where the meat must keep pretty well. I think your cooking options might be limited, so a carpaccio or a tartare might be the best way to serve it.

Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:57 (thirteen years ago)

Sorry: that should be "I think IF you've cut and prepared …"

Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:57 (thirteen years ago)

if you starve in a rainforest I kinda think you must be a little stupid

Disco Bob & MC Criminal (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:58 (thirteen years ago)

Just in case anyone finds themselves stranded in a rainforest over the weekend, here's quick guide to finding food.

Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Friday, 6 April 2012 18:02 (thirteen years ago)

God, "a quick guide". I keep missing words today.

Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Friday, 6 April 2012 18:02 (thirteen years ago)

I dont value being alive enough to eat ppl

Lamp, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:04 (thirteen years ago)

you say that now

the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:06 (thirteen years ago)

i'm pretty sure the industrialized food chain has made cannibals of us all in very fractional ways.
there's some food guidelines for insect parts allowed in veggies/fruits, but there should also be guidelines for allowable human body parts.

Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:07 (thirteen years ago)

It's not the fact of being alive that would make you eat people, it's the fact of starving to death. You don't just disappear in a puff of smoke, you die a long, lingering, painful death.

emil.y, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:07 (thirteen years ago)

what's the cutest animal you guys would eat? rabbits, pigs, lambs?

Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:08 (thirteen years ago)

Yes, yes, and yes

Jeff, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:08 (thirteen years ago)

zooey deschanel? butters from south park?

Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:12 (thirteen years ago)

I don't think it's about the cuteness, really. More the companionship. Though cats are incredibly cute.

emil.y, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:13 (thirteen years ago)

personally, this one gets my vote:

http://www.animal-forum.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/spiderc.jpg

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 19:15 (thirteen years ago)

i believe some so-called "cute animals" actually routinely engage in cannibalism

http://www.thatcutesite.com/uploads/2009/09/puppy_nose_bite.jpg

the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:37 (thirteen years ago)

i bet there's a weird inflection point where if you've actually decided to eat one, the animal's cuteness now works against it.
like if you had to eat ethan hawke or willem dafoe (i dunno if dafoe was in alive, i just think he'd taste really gamy and scaly.)

Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:41 (thirteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 30 April 2012 00:01 (thirteen years ago)

how much does a lb of flesh go for these days anyway?

― the late great, Friday, April 6, 2012 1:53 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Check ManBeef.com.

challoped potatoes (j.lu), Monday, 30 April 2012 00:28 (thirteen years ago)

EASILY

balls, Monday, 30 April 2012 01:19 (thirteen years ago)

Would you kill the dog or the annoying group member first?

I know my answer.

Choad of Choad Hall (kingfish), Monday, 30 April 2012 01:21 (thirteen years ago)

every time you are swallowing your saliva you are engaging in cannibalism THINK ABOUT IT

dayo, Monday, 30 April 2012 01:21 (thirteen years ago)

WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT YOUR BOOGERS

dayo, Monday, 30 April 2012 01:21 (thirteen years ago)

p. sure i'd just leap into a crevasse -- i'm a shitty cook anyway

mookieproof, Monday, 30 April 2012 01:22 (thirteen years ago)

i have enough trouble rationalizing continued existence even before factoring friend-meat into the equation

mookieproof, Monday, 30 April 2012 01:31 (thirteen years ago)

no, I always keep a Clif bar in my backpack anyway.

the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Monday, 30 April 2012 02:00 (thirteen years ago)

not sure i'd even need to be starving, if they were already dead and cooked nicely. if they were a member of the group that i didn't like, it would even be a handy cover for just, y'know, killing them.

diafiyhm (darraghmac), Monday, 30 April 2012 07:41 (thirteen years ago)

best option would be to survive a fiery plane crash that happens to cook your fellow passengers amirite?

dayo, Monday, 30 April 2012 10:06 (thirteen years ago)

does soylent green count? soylent green is people btw.

fishermen are coveted by whores & stoners (Pillbox), Monday, 30 April 2012 12:10 (thirteen years ago)

SPOILERS

Race Against Rockism (Myonga Vön Bontee), Monday, 30 April 2012 14:25 (thirteen years ago)

ffs mods can we get that poster deleted that isn't even out over here yet

diafiyhm (darraghmac), Monday, 30 April 2012 14:27 (thirteen years ago)

not into killing other people - who determines who goes first, etc. is a fucked up process I would refuse to participate in.

― Disco Bob & MC Criminal (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, April 6, 2012 5:18 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ you, my friend, are going first.

one dis leads to another (ian), Monday, 30 April 2012 21:36 (thirteen years ago)

i wrote a ten-minute play about cannibalism in lol college.

the central question that i have, as a skinny dude, is whether or not i'd be more likely to be eaten first or less likely. on one hand, i would be skinny and weak in the first place and when instincts turned primal and angry burly dudes started flashing their canines at each other, i'd probably go down quickly. on the other hand, no one would want to eat me because it would be all bony.

Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Monday, 30 April 2012 21:39 (thirteen years ago)

if you were a brony nobody would eat you because you would be all brony

dayo, Monday, 30 April 2012 21:42 (thirteen years ago)

save derpy, eat a brony

one dis leads to another (ian), Monday, 30 April 2012 21:45 (thirteen years ago)

I think the answer to your question, ZS, turns on whether we're eating people who die naturally (in which case you'd get et) or killing people to eat them (in which case I would).

Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Monday, 30 April 2012 21:45 (thirteen years ago)

my haunches look srsly delicious, i've decided.

diafiyhm (darraghmac), Monday, 30 April 2012 22:14 (thirteen years ago)

rip darraghmac he was eaten for his delicious haunches

dayo, Monday, 30 April 2012 22:17 (thirteen years ago)

fingernails and bone marrow is still vegan right?

Philip Nunez, Monday, 30 April 2012 22:21 (thirteen years ago)

Yes, without question. I might not even wait till I was hungry.

we are not bemused (onimo), Monday, 30 April 2012 22:27 (thirteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 1 May 2012 00:01 (thirteen years ago)

one year passes...

American settlers 'turned cannibal'

Bees Against Racism (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 17:51 (twelve years ago)

laura ingalls wild er

j., Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:11 (twelve years ago)

Crazy thing is that they prob didn't need to eat human flesh. America's coastline was a bonanza of naturally available foods: ocean and freshwater fish, shellfish, game and gamebirds, but also scavengable stuff like mushrooms, berries, kelp. The colonists were highly suspicious of such foods and shockingly ignorant of most survival skills.

Aimless, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:23 (twelve years ago)

NO THEY HAD TO

j., Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:26 (twelve years ago)

yr all a bunch of savages smdh at these poll results

four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:31 (twelve years ago)

one year passes...

Was reading about mass cannibalism during the Bolshevik grain requisition Povolzhye famine in '21. The more morally defensible cannibals rationalised eating the dead to survive, but fucking cannibal cafeterias run by human hunters, profiteering during a famine is too much to take. I'd guess similar grotesqueness occurred during Mao's great leap forward as well.

The stealing of corpses from cemeteries became so common that in many regions armed guards had to be posted on their gates. Hunting and killing people for their flesh was also a common phenomenon. In the town of Pugachev it was dangerous for children to go out after dark since there were known to be bands of cannibals and traders who killed them to eat or sell their tender flesh. In the Novouzensk region there were bands of children who killed adults for their meat...

Moreover, the craving for human flesh which starving people can easily develop once they have eaten it was not peculiar to any social class. Hungry doctors often succumbed to eating it after long spells of relief work in the famine region, and they too stated that the worst part of the experience was "the insuperable and uncomfortable craving" which they had acquired for human flesh.

festival of labour (xelab), Sunday, 29 June 2014 20:08 (eleven years ago)

Well, once you've killed and eaten a human being, seeing all those people just walking around has to be maddening, like those old cartoons where the starving man on the raft floating mid-ocean imagines the guy on the raft with him's head turning into a roast turkey or whatever...

Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 29 June 2014 20:11 (eleven years ago)

I love that old cartoon sight gag, it is brutal and funny at the same time.

festival of labour (xelab), Sunday, 29 June 2014 20:33 (eleven years ago)

I like the South Park episode where all the adults get snowed in and they resort to cannibalism _that night_

Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Sunday, 29 June 2014 22:36 (eleven years ago)

that is a great ep

do u like green ez & jam (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 June 2014 22:38 (eleven years ago)

five years pass...

During an 1874 election fight in Tranmere, a 'local cannibal' allegedly attacked a canvasser with no provocation - he 'chawed' him and bit off part of his lip. A newspaper report concluded that 'cannibalism cannot be tolerated, even in Tranmere': pic.twitter.com/ftaNIXB8Jv

— Victorian Election Violence UK (@VictorianEV_UK) April 15, 2020

'cannibalism cannot be tolerated, even in Tranmere'

classic bantz

calzino, Wednesday, 15 April 2020 10:48 (five years ago)

If I can eat ass, I can eat calf

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 11:00 (five years ago)

what if it’s not necessary for your survival and you just fancy sampling a bit of long pig

asking for a friend, like

He is married to Brogmus, Linda. (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 11:38 (five years ago)

I think eating members of Longpigs is quite permissible tbf

calzino, Wednesday, 15 April 2020 11:56 (five years ago)

brb gonna start a ‘which longpig would u eat’ poll

He is married to Brogmus, Linda. (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 12:13 (five years ago)

lol these poll results are v revealing

crüt, Wednesday, 15 April 2020 12:51 (five years ago)

At least five ILXors are liars.

coviderunt omnes (pomenitul), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 12:52 (five years ago)

Poll is eight years old, those five have probably been gobbled up by now.

Hey, let me drunkenly animate yr boats in about 25 to 60 days! (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 12:53 (five years ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.