best reason to get a british-style divorce

• being forced to dress in a Klingon costume and speak in Klingon.
• maliciously and repeatedly serving your spouse's least favorite dish, tuna casserole.
• spitefully tampering with the TV antenna and throwing away your spouses' cold cuts.
• usurped your spouse's control of the washing machine and failing to appreciate your spouses's revulsion for “intensely farmed meat.”
• not speaking to your spouse for 15 years, communicating only by Post-it note.
• without justification flirting with any builder or tradesman, inappropriately touching them and declaring that your spouse could not stop herself
• insisting that your pet tarantula, Timmy, sleep in a glass case next to the matrimonial bed,” even though your spouse requested “that Timmy sleep elsewhere.”
• atrocious body odor
• repeatedly taking charge of the remote television controller, endlessly flicking through channels and failing to stop at any channel requested by your spouse
• being late home from work
• not being supportive in the kitchen
• hating the way your spouse breathes
• being obsessive in attention to detail and combing the fringes of the rug
• unreasonably demanding sex every night from your spouse, which is causing friction between the parties
• dressing up in your spouse's clothes and “stretching all her best outfits,"

some of the pronoun substitutions I made don't make sense, oh well, divorce me

can promise you no britisher wd have refered to "cold cuts"

here are two:

http://www.djouls.com/mafiagato/images/Coldcut_-_Let_Us_Play_back.jpg

it's such a shame that these details of people's personal lives are unnecessarily dragged into the light by the backwards british judicial systems! let's print them in the new york times.

# unreasonably demanding sex every night from your spouse, which is causing friction between the parties

Sounds like they're doing it the wrong way tbh.

Seriously, what is a cold cut?

cold meats.

I am cracking up at "intensely farmed meat"

not at all sure tuna casserole is a common uk dish, either.

also no brits have atrocious body odour or keep tarantulas.

I have met some of your software engineers and can provide multiple datapoints re: British body odour (these dudes put the "ew" in "odour")

i work with teenage boys i can back that up

dressing up in your spouse's clothes and “stretching all her best outfits"

http://blogs.commercialappeal.com/the_bloodshot_eye/indie/edwood.jpg

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

combing the fringes of the rug

dealbreaker

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

missed "gouging spouse's eyes out"