"Edward Norton celebrates Earth's 400th Birthday with eco-friendly deals"

why did Groupon just send me an email with this title

happy 400th birthday earth i got you edward norton

"Edward Norton is a really fucked up creationist"

That makes Earth eight years old when the Pilgrims landed. Who knew?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1612

January–June

January 6 – Axel Oxenstierna becomes Lord High Chancellor of Sweden.
January 20 – Matthias becomes Holy Roman Emperor upon the death of Rudolf II.
January 20–November 4 – An uprising in Moscow expels Polish troops.
March 2 – False Dmitry III is recognised as tsar by the Cossacks.
April 11 – Edward Wightman, a radical Anabaptist, is the last person to be executed for heresy in England, by burning at the stake in Lichfield.
April 18 – Earth born, according to Groupon.
May 10 – Shah Jahan marries Mumtaz Mahal.
May 23–May 25 – A Sicilian–Neapolitan galley fleet defeats the Tunisians at La Goulette.
June 13 – Matthias, Holy Roman Emperor formally elected.

July–December

July 22 – Four women and one man are hanged following the Northamptonshire Witch Trials in Northampton, England.
August 20 – Ten 'Pendle witches' are hanged having been found guilty of practising witchcraft in Lancashire, England.
August 26 – A Scottish mercenary force is destroyed in Norway at the Battle of Kringen.
November 29–Treaty of Nasuh Pasha: Signed between Ottoman Empire and Safavid Empire
November 30 – Battle of Swally: Forces of the British East India Company and Portugal engage off the coast of India, resulting in a British victory.
December 15 – Simon Marius, is first to observe Andromeda Galaxy through a telescope.
December 28 – Galileo Galilei becomes the first astronomer to observe the planet Neptune when in conjunction with Jupiter, yet he mistakenly catalogues it as a fixed star because of its extremely slow motion along the ecliptic. Neptune is not truly discovered until 1846, about 234 years after Galileo first sights it with his telescope.

Date unknown

Jamestown: John Rolfe exports first crop of improved tobacco (seeds from Trinidad).
Nagoya Castle is completed.
Thomas Shelton's English translation of the first half of Don Quixote is published. It is the first translation of the Spanish novel into any language.

Earth: younger than the Universities of Cambridge and Oxford

Please note entry for April 18.

ah yes, lol

http://s3.grouponcdn.com/crm/earthday/header.jpg

;_;

norton hung himself in a planetarium for six week researching that role

from the expression on his face, Norton hung himself shortly after this picture was taken

What happened? I am confused.

why is the moon autistic?

idgi. is this really a thing, believing this?

i mean i know about creationists and the whole dino bones (or any "evidence" the earth might just be really damn old) were planted by satan to test the faithful stuff, but this is a bit beyond.

no, it's just people referring to Earth Day as "earth's birthday," and celebrating the 400th Earth Day, and combining the two without thinking about what that implies

The Moon is all like "How come there isn't a Moon Day, eh? Maybe I'll just go orbit some other planet and see how you like having NO TIDES"

i mean even the most extreme 'young earth' biblical theories estimate the age of the planet at 6000 years at a minimum

Norton was engaged to Courtney Love, so any irrational act he indulges in after that doesn't seem so extreme in comparison.

how did i not know that

Earth was birthed during a brainstorming sesh at UNESCO's 1612 convention at the Hyatt Regency, Crystal City, Va.

god i keep looking at those creepy earth and moon faces and laughing

Earth: "I say I say I say! The Moon has no nose!"
Edward Norton: "How does it smell?"
Earth: "Awful!"
Moon: "I do not wish to know that, kindly leave the theatre solar system!"

http://i1215.photobucket.com/albums/cc508/rabalba/562083_10150809470168708_702603707_11766796_1984921774_n.jpg

no, it's just people referring to Earth Day as "earth's birthday," and celebrating the 400th Earth Day, and combining the two without thinking about what that implies

How is it the 400th Earth Day?

are we all dreaming this

Best viral joek ever.

yeah nevermind i guess earth day has only been around for like 40 years. no idea, then.

all is revealed: https://twitter.com/#!/Groupon/status/191934941762830337

WTH that makes even less sense.

oh come on, this is the first thread i read after some absurd lucid dreaming???