Talk To The Bookshelf Cause The Carpet Ain't Listening

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Talking to/at inanimate objects - classic or dud? What do you talk to most (swearing at counts)? What would you be most worried if you heard someone talking to?

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 13 September 2002 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)

What about computers?

― lyra (lyra), Friday, 13 September 2002 23:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Well for non-voice-recognition stuff they count too. We decided most electrical goods were basically OK to talk at though even there there's a hierarchy i.e. TV everybody does it, standard lamp uh...

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 13 September 2002 23:31 (twenty-three years ago)

i talk to everything.

― anthony easton (anthony), Friday, 13 September 2002 23:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I shout at my work computer all the time, tho this is usually because of nothing but my own idiocy.

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 13 September 2002 23:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I talk to my car sort of as if it were a horse.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 14 September 2002 00:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I talk to myself about my gadgets "Oh, it's in the wrong mode, bleh". Does that count?

What would you be most worried if you heard someone talking to?

Sushi

― Graham (graham), Saturday, 14 September 2002 00:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Nothing wrong with conversing with the inanimate. I often say things like "stupid bloody thing", when I trip over object X.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 14 September 2002 08:03 (twenty-three years ago)

"Hello Logs"

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Saturday, 14 September 2002 08:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Talking about the inanimate to a pretend audience is a different thing though Jel. If you said "oh you, you're always tripping me up", that's more what I'm talking about.

― Tom (Groke), Saturday, 14 September 2002 08:13 (twenty-three years ago)

ah, I see...I have the cat and dog to use as the audience, and I have alot of conversations with them. So, I guess I haven't really used the inaminate as an audience (yet).

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 14 September 2002 08:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I talk to my bed when I get in it on a cold night - sort of the standard --oohhhh , ahhhhh, make me warm quickly, mmm I love you pillow - ohhhh , ahhhh - that sort of thing.

― gazza, Saturday, 14 September 2002 08:19 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

I've been known to apologise to inanimate objects if I bump into them.

I find it's acceptable to talk to electrical appliances and teddy bears, but unacceptable to talk to furniture (unless you're apologising) and clothing. But that's my opinion.

― Rumpie, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

I talk to everything. Lately it's pots and pans and things, but that could just be because I'm cooking more. "Would you MIND staying on the stove, please? Thank you."

I can only guess how much more peculiar I'm going to get when I start living alone again.

― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

I talk to my couch.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

I suppose it's only a matter of time before I start talking to my Damp.

I hope it's a good conversationalist.

― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:04 (twenty years ago)

Hmm, don't think I've spoken to any pots recently. I forgot to add, it's acceptable to address any object with "Ah there you are!"

― Rumpie, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:06 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, yes. See also "If I were a pot/pan/corkscrew/macaroni stop water go through, where would *I* be?"

― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

I often address found objects with "There you are, you wily (checkbook)."

When I'm doing something and it isn't going my way, I always say, "fuck you, thing" .. like the Addams family - except Thing wasn't really inanimate. In fact, thing was kind of the definition of animate.

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

If you hurt yourself on something or trip over something and say "Ya bastard," are you talking to the object?

― Rumpie, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

If you say it to the object, then yes.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

Hmm, so you need to be facing the object?

― Rumpie, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

Only if the object is deaf and needs to lip-read.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

Shit, I'll talk at anything that'll hold still long enough. And you have to admit, some days even the inanimate objects have it in for you -- these are the days when you should get back under the covers & stay there. Assuming your bedding hasn't tried to strangle you in your sleep.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

I argue with inanimate objects

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

I sometimes warn my coffee maker not to fuck with me this morning.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 18:44 (twenty years ago)

"Would you MIND staying on the stove, please? Thank you."

I do this kind of thing a lot, especially during those Cyclical Days, when I can be heard shouting at my hair to JUST FUCKING GO IN THE ELASTIC or at my shoes to JUST STOP FUCKING BENDING AT THE HEEL YOU COCKS, or at my keys to just get into the fucking lock and stop fucking about. You have to whisper with keys though, or they break on purpose, just to leave you standing outside your shop with the alarm going off and no way to get in or out. Oh yes they do.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

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