slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

As far as I understand it, it's a BDSM Twilight fan-fic that got purchased by Stephanie Meyer's publisher, dickered w/ to remove copyright infringements and stand slightly more alone, and became an extra-big bestseller.

how did it get so popular? many of the folks I work with are reading it any talking about weiner-slavery in the lunch room and how to use ben wa balls, and how they're into submission. a: that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine and b: who is this targeted to and c: does it have a celebrity endorsement or marketing push i don't understand and d: i've heard it compared to both steig larsson and stephanie meyers and that makes me certain i will Not Go There

my mother in law was really excited to read this until I said, "I hope you enjoy vampire porn"; now she is not so excited

I leafed through a copy of it last night at the bookstore, and it looked pretty dull until I came to a list of SUPPLIES and RULES that included some variation of "nitrile gloves and "no defectation" and thought nope, not for me, not for little remy bean

from wiki:

The plot traces the relationship between recent college graduate Anastasia Steele and manipulative billionaire Christian Grey. Steele is required by Grey to sign a contract allowing him complete control over her life. As she gets to know him, she learns that his sexual tastes involve bondage, domination and sadism, and that childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual. In order to be his partner she agrees to experiment with BDSM, but struggles to reconcile who she is (a virgin who has never previously had a boyfriend) with whom Christian wants her to be: his submissive, to-do-with-as-he-pleases partner in his "Red Room of Pain."

lmao at 'weiner-slavery'

As far as I understand it, it's a BDSM Twilight fan-fic that got purchased by Stephanie Meyer's publisher, dickered w/ to remove copyright infringements and stand slightly more alone, and became an extra-big bestseller.

Exactly. It's really weird to me that this author isn't in any sort of legal trouble for borrowing so heavily from another work. I know a few public librarians, and they've all been shocked and disgusted at the popularity of this book because it's poorly written (apparently there's a lot of typos?) and basically fanfic.

Remy, I'm a little shocked that your co-workers are talking about this stuff at lunch!

So it's like The Story of O for deeply stupid people?

the hollywood pitch wd probably be Story of O crossed with Atlas Shrugged

The Story of O, The Oprah Magazine

Stedman, we hardly knew ye.

the most offensive line in the whole wiki is the phrase childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual

white, male, straight, & economic privilege left him a deeply damaged individual

I flipped to one scene in an airport bookstore out of idle curiosity and iirc it was a graphic description of him forcibly putting his wang into her pooper*

*ftr that may not have been what it actually was but now that I've typed that, I'm not deleting it

He put the wang in the pooper and drank it all up.

(sorry)

no you aren't!

http://static.rateyourmusic.com/album_images/fff0e18e796786245cb133b316809c7a/592373.jpg

This tumblr is funny, it has some choice quotes from the books.

Remy, I'm a little shocked that your co-workers are talking about this stuff at lunch!

Yeah, dude! Don't y'all have an HR department or somethin'?

The most egregious thing about this book's existence is that you know a slew of hack "writers" are gonna try to piggyback on the same idea (either via a million new S&M books or via writing barely-veiled fanfic of popular books and figuring out a way to successfully self-promote), a la the glut of post-Sense And Sensibility And Zombies trash.

meanwhile Jacqueline Carey is sitting at home going, "seriously, fuck all of you"

i wonder who she's sitting on these days?

Don Cheeseley and Brionie Grainchurch are gonna get it seventy ways from Sunday in Larry Cotter and the Chamber of Inserts.

double lol

I read this great thing from Erica Jong about it:
here is the link

“Argh,” she says, losing her virginity. This from a virginal contemporary college student, whose hymen is penetrated? The penetrator is one of the “Masters of the Universe” and he dresses in grey. And is named Christopher Grey, has gray eyes, wears gray ties, gray suits and speaks in clichés from badly-written romance novels (which are actually improving).

maybe she's a pirate?

“Argh,” she says, losing her virginity.

this is hilarious

I am interested in ebb and flow of the nation's interest in lite porny novels, though. It really seems to erupt at the strangest times.

Fear of Flying was a long time ago (that was definitely not a romance novel)

I love that she says "argh" like she's Cathy.

"Ack!" she says, losing her virginity as she crams chocolates into her mouth.

dying here

That's the kind of sound you make when you lose your keys down a storm drain, maybe, but not your virginity.

bleurgh!

Man, that would be some serious perversion, making your little virginal slave say, "Ack", when you're devirginizing her.

ACK! My hymen!

"Kloont!" she said, losing her virginity.

-- Don Martin's 50 Shades of Grey

what is the approved onomatopoeia utterance for losing one's virginity?

"Oomf?" "Guh?" "Owwie owwie owwie?" "Fuck you, you actual fucking clown." < blink > "POP!" < / blink>

Heavens! My virginity ;-)

Dr. Seuss's The 500 Shades of Bartholomew Greyins

Anyway, Erica Jong was mostly pissed about the gravy train/Hollywood adaptation aspect of the brouhaha around this book.

And its failure to be a proper "book of one hand"

A very cynical part of me says this is a calculated 'make' book in the way of Twilight, Julie and Julia, that David Benioff book about Soviet cannibals, the Dragon Tattoo, Hunger Games, Wimpy Kid, etc.

... this a book for pooping? or does that phrase mean something else?

Think again.

http://www.newyorksocialdiary.com/i/partypictures/05_16_12/erica/fiftyshades.jpg

Everybody Arghs

'make' = deliberately manufactured as a hit i.e. printed in huge runs on cheap paper and distributed in major lots w/ blitz/word-of-mouth advertising/in spite of reviews/tons. best comparison is, like, a blockbuster movie's PR campagin.

airport books?

Isn't there already enough anal probing going on with airport security?

and the sequels will tank

get ready for a lot of overwrought mainstream sex dramas; if someone isn't rebootying last tango, postman always rings twice and body heat right now, it's because the rights are tied up
c what i did there

actually if this leads to more "adult" (or even adult) romantic dramas, then i'm all for it

A friend who works in a theatre just informed me that someone left a whip behind at one screening (though this reeks more of "ironic" viewing than anything).

my sister works at a movie theater, and last night she told me they found a condom on the floor during cleanup. i was like "ew, those 50 shades fans are sick" and she said "no, it was in the theater for the Spongebob movie."

Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″ ($160.3 million).

"Fast & Furious 6" starring Jenna Jameson et al

xpost

wouldn't this have been more appropriate?
http://www.todaysponge.com/images/press-sponge.jpg

A friend who works in a theatre just informed me that someone left a whip behind at one screening (though this reeks more of "ironic" viewing than anything).

So people are going to this like they would to see the Chippendales strippers or go to a lol naughty sextoy sales night? #sadhousewives

a whip or whippits?

the Phish crossover market

Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″

lol @ medium of film

can't lie, I'll be buying tickets for the seventh chapter in the F&F franchise

excited about the revival of the EROTIC THRILLER genre

This lacks thrills though right?

its just an EROTIC

I'm sure people find it thrilling in exactly the same way Wild Orchid was thrilling

I remember my parents going to see Wild Orchid. A year or so later, when it hit cable, I snuck downstairs late at night to watch some of it and was pretty much like "so, this is what adults find hot?!"

Thanks to winning a VCR circa 84/85 at a fundraiser raffle, my father treated the entire family to some uncomfortable family movie nights with movies like Body Heat and 9 1/2 Weeks. My takeaway was that my dad is super shameless and a total hero.

Way to go dad

So, basically, this movie is book one, and there will doubtless be three eventually.

Ok, I have now read more of this thread.

Basically, Stevie D's review is otm.

they're going to break the third book out in to three separate movies though

The desolation of SM

applause

50 Shades of Armond: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/413741/50-shades-dull-armond-white

Enterprises such as 50 Shades of Grey and Gone Girl, designed to exploit modern moral confusion, also mean to rationalize political disorientation. Anastasia and Grey’s sadomasochistic love/hate symbolizes contemporary bewilderment regarding capitalist politics. Rich, empowered men like Grey are shown to lead and seduce us, while a new consumerist myth (replacing rugged individualism) suggests that our naïve affection — the opposite of buyer’s remorse — can redeem them, just as Bill Clinton has been redeemed and sanctioned by the mainstream media.

I think he is getting at something but not getting all the way there

armond white is quoting X and giving a big-up Eddie Murphy's Vampire In Brooklyn for the National Review

So Jamie Dornan has quit the franchise?

I resubmit...

http://www.atlasshruggedmovie.com/css/01-382188340005332013/default/assets/dvd_boxset.jpg

three covers with pictures of...bridges? and a clip art of atlas carrying the comfort inn logo.

have I posted yet with the idea that knowing who her parents are, this is probably like the fifteenth most screwy enterprise Dakota Johnson has been a part of. we just don't know.

Her mother lived with a pet lion in their house, who the hell knows.

Funny name for a lion.

and then this happened. shocked that he didn't get one donation

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1839613945/fifty-shades-of-poop

shocked that you're the one telling ilx about a bad poop joke

https://usatthebiglead.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/arkansas-fan-gives-the-double-bird-during-game-against-cal1.gif

can't lie, I flagged the poop joke post

sam taylor-johnson is out:

I forged close and lasting relationships with the cast, producers and crew and most especially, with Dakota and Jamie. While I will not be returning to direct the sequels, I wish nothing but success to whosoever takes on the exciting challenges of films two and three.

'exciting challenges'

http://blog.eljamesauthor.com/?p=1173

should have been called 50 Grades of Steele obviously

this might be my favorite ile thread title. always makes me chuckle

yet ANOTHER way 50 shades is ripping off twilight, stephenie meyer notoriously rewrote twilight from edward's perspective and then canned it after a rough draft leaked to the internet. legend had it that robert pattinson traded his copy for drugs, but that's probably apocryphal.

You knew this was gonna happen...

https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/12278656_10153726563164889_3445818379510825209_n.jpg?oh=52f1d1ea414599a6202aa5cd42e58ba2&oe=56F94ACD

http://m.imdb.com/title/tt4667094/?ref_=m_nmfmd_act_1

do you get it, the tie is an erect penis

they've been showing this on hbo... this movie is hilarious, constant lols

http://variety.com/2016/film/news/kim-basinger-fifty-shades-darker-1201689084/

butt room

lmao she actually wrote the three Fifty Shades books again, from Christian's perspective? Jesus GOD, that's like the "Megahertz" episode of Weird Science (tv version).

also managed to get an actual non-50 shades book published: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mister

Jezebel reviewed it, lmao

https://jezebel.com/e-l-jamess-the-mister-fucks-a-duck-1834456299

She has a new one about a Jewish mobster from Brooklyn who's addicted to sunglasses:

Fifty Shades Freed