my dream team

phew, possibly my biggest post evah!

Well, I'm not going to construct a carefully proportioned team, but people who came to mind: in goal, either the Czeck keeper with the wig or the Swedish one who used to pretend to throw the ball out and then hude it behind his back, as if he was playing with a dog. In defence I want Des Walker at his Forest peak, Paolo Maldini of a couple of years ago and the best marshaller of a defence I've ever seen, Franco Baresi. In midfield, Paul Gascoigne of about ten years ago, Jairzinho on the right in 1970 form and on the left (my small-time favourite) Harold Jarman of 1970s Bristol Rovers 'fame'. Up front, the one and only greatest player ever by a mile, Pele. Actually, I'll put Denilson in: the most entertaining dribbler I've ever seen, even if he never achieves anything. I'm a couple short - I guess a right back and a competitive midfielder, but none are leaping to mind just now.

b-but what abt raven on the wing?

that has to be the most english dream team EVAH

3 English players = most English dream team?

(Most Liverpool, yes. Mr Cabbage I applaud you! )

[but I fear for you when the Dalglish-hataz turn up tomorrow :( ]

sorry i got it wrong most british dream team

5 = english, 1 zimbabwean, 1 welsh, 1 Croat, a spaniard, a scot and one Dutch master.

Obviously I watch more English games than any other so there will be players from the English league. And my two top teams Liverpool and Chesterfield have been watched more than others hence the large number of those players. Other near misses = Beardsley, Totti, Baresi and Pele (not seen enough of him, just always the same few clips over and over again, similarly for Maradona)

I saw Mark Williams in Wimbledon 2 weeks ago. He was about to get into his Bimmer avec page 3 model girlfriend and was invited into the pub to talk to some Dons fans. He seemed to be bearing up; ludicrous salaries tend to have that effect :-/

Schmeichel

Thuram
Pearce
Sammer
Paul McGrath

Hagi
Roy Keane
Le Tissier
Beckam

Cantona
Klinsmann

The real England team:

Keeper (crusty yet dependable): Joe Strummer
Backs (experienced old hands): Neil Tennant, Linda Thompson, Peter Hook, Damon Albarn
Midfielders (endless energy): Norman Cook (capt.), Tjinder Singh, both of Basement Jaxx
Strikers (go for the jugular): Polly Harvey, Luke Haines
Subs (flashy newcomers): Mike Skinner, Craig David, Damon Gough

add to my near misses, Athletico Madrid's young wonder Fernando Torres. Saw him vs Sevilla last night anmd he was grebt, apart from getting sent off for diving.

rinat dasaiev ('cause nobody mentions him any more)

rob jones (so unlucky. if he'd stayed injury-free we'd have seen less of g. neville)
paolo maldini (classy skeletor-alike. do women really find him attractive?) sami hyypia (unflappable. bigger than dolph lundgren)
stefan henchoz (for the h-force telepathy. and the red-cheeks)

zinedine zidane (the best monk lookalike to ever kick a ball)
steven gerrard ('cause he's ours)
diego maradona (the best ever. also a mentalist)
johann cruyff (the coolest player ever?)

kenny dalglish (childhood hero)
marco van basten (the finest striker of all time. bad hair)

definitely don't include Peter Enckleman in the near misses though

hannibal, face, BA, murdock

I hate Dagliglish. (Hi Jerry!)

what about dalglish?

no, not a pedant, a 'dalglover'.

but why do you hate him PF? I mean I didn'tr vote for him as a person#, or indeed a manager. As a player he was marvellous.

and indeed Pf where's your team? Waddle on the wing?

Cabbage - the PF has fallen under the malign influence of SteadyMike who maintains that KD's success is due to his unfeasibly huge arse which gave him an unfair advantage in backing into frail Everton defenders for 10 years.

and in a way he's right. But he used it so well, but he never used it to pass with, or did he?

Dr. C's Chelsea dream team :

Keeper : Bonetti shades it from Eddie N.

Right Back : Ron Harris. Well, would YOU tell him he didn't make the team?

Left Back : Tony Dorigo. Awesome late 80's/early 90's. Couldn't defend, but had a favourite trick of taking the ball up to the oppositions winger, knocking it ahead and beating them for pace. Even Franz Carr succumbed.

Centre backs : John Terry and David Lee. Terry will be special if can avoid jail. Lee should have been - crocked against Spurs in about 1998 and last heard of at Bristol Rovers or somewhere.

Midfield Ball Winner - Johnny Bumstead. Chelsea through and through, fan's favourite, never ever gave up.

Midfield Playmaker - Mickey Hazard/Alan Hudson. Mickey Mars Bars until half time giving Alan longer in the pub.

Right Midfield - Pat Nevin obviously.

Left Midfield - Paul Canoville - THAT hat-trick against Sheff Wed in the League Cup in 1984 lives on. Chelsea's first black player.

The front two. Zola. The genius- still fucking special.
And Kerry Dixon - at his prime could finish from anywhere, two footed, good in the air and fast.

Subs : Eddie N (gk), Eddie Newton, Graeme Le Saux, Peter Osgood, David Webb, Dave Speedie and Charlie Cooke.

This team would concede too many goals, but hopefully score lots too.

Chelsea nightmare team :

1. Dave Beasant. Even worse than Perry Digweed!
2. Darren Wood. Played about 150 gamas and never touched the ball.
3. Keith Dublin. Had triangular feet. Neither left footed or indeed, right-footed.
4. Peter Nicholas - once seen in opposition half
5. Frank Lebouef - it's kinda useful for a centre-half to be able to head the ball, you know.
6. Ken Monkou
7. Mario Stanic - WHY?
8. Robert Fleck - somewhere en route to the Bridge from Norwich he has kidnapped and swapped with the Michelin Man. Cue one of The Shed's finest songs - "We all live in a Robert Fleck-mobile"
9. Dave Mitchell - bearded ex-Swedish league and Glasgow Rangers 'striker' appeared from nowhere in the early 90's for a few games. A blind paraplegic would have stood more chance of scoring a goal.
10. Jokanovic.
11. Peter Rhoades-Brown. Useless in blue, but played a blinder for Oxford at The Bridge in the mid 80's, setting John Aldridge up for two goals in a 4-1 away win. Bastard!

No Hudson or Hutchinson, Dr C? And where is Mickey Droy in your nightmare team?

Hey Martin - Hudson IS in the dream team - he comes on at half time for Hazard. Hutch, no.

Droy nearly made it into the dream team actually, I always liked him even though objectively he wasn't much good. Better than Steve Wicks though.

Hey Dr. C do you know "Football Story" by Dominick? It mentions Peter Osgood and Alan Hudson and it's a great record.

No - tell me more.

Er... it's great. Mid '80s, produced by Jammy's, Dominick is a skinny white QPR fan. The LP, "Ready For Dominick" has at least one more very fine track, but I love "Football Story":

"Remember John Toshack and Kevin Keegan
They made Liverpool the pride of England
Won the European Cup in 1977
Keegan get signed up by the West German
Kenny Dalglish come straight from Scotland
Remember Peter Osgood and Alan Hudson..."

There's tons more I could quote but I'll spare you.

Actually, I think I might have a spare copy of the LP lying around if you're interested?

Definitely. Wierdest football track I own is "Supporters Support Us" by The QPR Supporters from, I think, 1967. It's on a psyche/freakbeat comp and has strange backwards guitar and phasing etc. I think it was the b-side of a more conventional football stomp-along about QPR. It's by a brit-psych band in disguise, but I can't remember which one.

Er, no, I meant Keith Hudson, top reggae producer. Or rather, sorry for not reading carefully enough. Droy's only distinction was that he must have been among the heaviest footballers of his era, and least cute.