Take this Queen's Jubilee and SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE

Fucking sick of it.

We are sorry, but all our arses are serving other customers at this time. Your jubilee is important to us, so please stay on the line and we will shove your jubilee up the first available arse in the order in which it was received.

I am not actually sure I know what a jubilee is, I thought it was a tube line

At least there's no street parties round here. Bit of a scarcity in Scotland except for posh places or maybe bigoted shitholes like Airdrie and Larkie

It's pretty low key here. Basically certain pubs are doing things, but that's about it except for the occasional house with flags in the window. I'm no monarchist, but it's hard to get wound up about the Jubilee and the Royal family when the government regularly wastes far more money on other pointless stuff.

SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING CUNT QUEENIE

Just wanted to get that out of my system somewhere quiet, thanks for listening

I am currently in central London and remain singularly unbothered by it all. I suspect the telly is making more of it than actual people are.

highlight of the jubilee for me has been rihanna s&m blasting out on the speakers at the street party in our road.

http://i45.tinypic.com/34fbp7d.jpg

Spent this afternoon wandering along the south bank. There is bunting EVERYWHERE. and people camping out already... it's going to be a very long weekend.

http://distilleryimage10.instagram.com/f39075b0ace811e1a8761231381b4856_7.jpg

"Two dogs wearing crowns are among those at a street party in Battersea today"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2153362/Diamond-Jubilee-Britain-goes-crazy-Queens-special-party.html

Quality.

effing royalty

north london is oddly... unbusy? either people have all decided to get out of town to avoid this business, or queenie's started her jubilee feast early.

it's going to get worse until tuesday, the actual jubilee date

I've so far not seen much other than ubiquitous Union Jacks and the occasional hint of a hipster Jubilee party. If there was ever a weekend begging for pissing rain it's this one, and it's a happy outcome so far.

My street got closed off for a street party but it was pretty subdued.

There's a great semi-detached house up the road where half of it is decked out in union jacks and the other half someone has hung a giant red anarchy flag out the window.

I've put up fake bunting in my window that spells out "MAGNA CARTA" and "God save the NHS" - the latter has been especially popular with random people standing outside my flat.

thank god this bullshit will be over after this weekend.

SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING CUNT QUEENIE

― A++++++ would deal with again (Matt #2), Saturday, 2 June 2012 19:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh god where is the LIKE button when you need it?

can I just say that I vicariously love this thread

carry on chaps

this caused us a massive amount of ballache at work last week, and we've got coverage going on every day until Thursday

i am being made to go and watch the flotilla. srsly fuck the jubilee & fuck the queen.

fuck the pope too, i'm not bigoted.

Maybe fuck the flotilla, Tailpipe Man style? At least it would give the BBC something to show other than soggy people waving flags.

really wish i could hotwire hms belfast and run amok

hoping for some tribute-to-mountbatten boat fireworks.

I am sitting in the warm, drinking coffee and listening to the mbv eps. Now I have to go and watch some boats. BOATS. Queen on a fucking boat. Why can't my gf be ashamed of being british like normal people?

"we've taken a lot of our inspiration from mad men" - "50s" jubilee cosplay woman on telly

not seen much bunting in bethnal green, though anytime i've been outside i've been absolutely out of my mind from drink so i might not have noticed.

I've seen almost no signs of any Jubilee celebration, which is fine by me - there was a slightly sad string of red, white and blue bunting on the local school gate yesterday morning, but I think it fell off in the wind and rain last night

dunno if this is because I'm not in London, or because I don't watch TV

really wish i could hotwire hms belfast and run amok

― DG, Sunday, 3 June 2012 12:41 (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hoping for some tribute-to-mountbatten boat fireworks.

― woof, Sunday, 3 June 2012 12:46 (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

booming posts

what does bother me is people being all jolly hockeysticks about it in work, like otherwise intelligent people kind of forcing themselves to be excited. between this and the olympics i keep thinking of "the parallel campaign" from "the man without qualities".

seem to remember there's an apposite Slipknot song for this eventuality

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjveFZaGMpw

I work on the Strand and am keeping a mental note of all the business i'm never going to buy from again. Pret have a sign out front saying that they're "keeping the area outside their shop clean for the Queen" which i'm sure will delight anyone who has been tripping over their rubbish for the last nine years.

rainbow bunting in camberwell

Sat in Tate modern restaurant fucking this jubilee with scallops #bestofbothworlds

This thread is a bit like reading the reports from last summer's riots, except with bunting rather than looting.

Re. Algerian Goalkeeper upthread - '77 Silver Jubilee was a pretty big deal in Uddingston (particularly at the Kylepark end). There was a huge procession down Main Street on the Saturday; I hid in the library and read Black Music by LeRoi Jones. Such were my teenage wonder years.

Totally agree with Ronan about the jolly hockeysticks chat at work about this.

always put the radio on when i'm in the kitchen. 2 minutes of Richard Fucking Bacon being all flip and hilarious and some unknown fucking toady explaining the Byzantine rituals of the monarchy in lickspittle awe. then they went over to Ross Kemp. then i punted the radio thru the fucking window.

OMG, Jack Harkness is there! *suspicious*

I am enjoying the extra day off work, which is the real point of this. I remain ambivalent towards the celebratory aspect of the whole thing but nevertheless have been dragged to Bermondsey to look at ships. Drinking beer with friends and having a day off work is good, regardless of the reason for it. Also, not in front of a tv, which helps.

Ten years ago, a feckless young MP writes something about the monarchy:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2002/jun/05/davidcameron.politicalcolumnists

Tory crawls up the Queen's dick shocker

I live in a hamlet of less than 100 souls near the small country town of Chipping Norton. There is no pub, shop, village hall or church. The only time we meet is on the road, usually passing each other in cars courtroom 73 at the RCJ.

had i read that then i could have been hating cameron so much earlier, wasted opportunity.

i don't remember the last jubilee being such a big deal, maybe i had no dealings with the outside world at that point (dark years of late teenhood at work), maybe it's just that i wasn't in london. whatever the case, awa in shite, queenie.

I vaguely recall something about the Conservative party getting a call from Buckingham Palace recommending him for a position in their research department on the day he was meant to be interviewing for the same.

I am not actually sure I know what a jubilee is

"Let out all the prisoners/ 'cos that's a jubilee"

... according to the Stranglers, who are my first port of call in these matters

i can't remember if it's still legally okay to call for her execution on Facebook

You can't even incite a riot on Facebook anymore!

time was you could talk shite about killing people without going to jail.

I've been looking forward to the Olympics for years, as I do with every Olympics, but these flag waving cunts are going to ruin it, aren't they?

yep

the olympics are for wastemen too so

the fitba team of gareth bale, a couple of token olds and a load of token malnourished spides from the provinces is going to be so bad

TEAM GB

Carl Diem devised the idea of the torch relay for the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin that was organized by the Nazis under the guidance of Joseph Goebbels. Krupp armaments company produced the torches in wood and metal, inspired by an olive leaf. The Olympic Flame was lit by a concave mirror in Olympia, Greece and transported over 3,187 kilometres by 3,331 runners in twelve days and eleven nights from Greece to Berlin.

http://i.imgur.com/7MOtD.jpg

who knew the Nazis were into torches?

this jubilee rules guys, keep up the good work

kicks the shit out of the last jubilee IMO

i should probably watch derek jarman's jubilee at some point i guess

The film had many critics in British punk circles. Fashion designer Vivienne Westwood manufactured a T-shirt on which was printed an "open letter" to Jarman denouncing the film and his misrepresentations of punk.[1] Jarman described the project as "a film about punk" during pre-production, but later explained that it had a much broader thematic scope.[citation needed]

The Nazis were definitely into large scale public spectacle and were quite good at it.

you calling this german royal family nazis?

Think Hitler would have demanded something a bit more impressive than Gary Barlow and a few boats in the torrential rain.

at least marching down the Thames

yeah u could create a giant heat pump to get pulis and co to march the olympic flame up the thames estuary to the strains of elvis costello

Kinda bored with people lazily conflating the Olympics and the Jubilee into one orgy of bourgeois indulgence. At least the Olympics involve people with actual talent.

yeah Olympics actual events are great, and highly addictive tv watching...the pomp around it can git tae fuck almost always

Me? Call the royals nazis? Never! I let them speak for themselves.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/Q/k/prince_harry_nazi.jpg

the olympics is either a distractionary nonevent in the major sports like football, tennis, even boxing now tbh, else it's the grim spectacle of unpopular hobbyist sports suddenly becoming a populist cause célebre cuz the participants happen to be british

oh there's athletics which is great for abt 9.6 seconds before david sullivan annexes the venue

it was good when Australia won all the swimming events remember that ;_;

i can happily conflate the jubilee and olympics as things i fucking hate :D

jubilympics

xps '* Asked to give Duke of Edinburgh his uniform back'

All we need is for David Jason to come on as Del Boy and say "lovely Jubilympics"

About 15,700 results (0.22 seconds)

Jubilympics 2012 - Jubilympics 2012 Home
www.jubilympics2012.co.uk/
The Jubilympics 2012 Site. ... uplifting, almost stylish 2-for-1 'Jubilympics' mug! The Jubilympics 2012 Commemorative Mug. The perfect gift for friends, ...

wait are people actually saying Jubilympics? fuck those people!

can't believe dem bourgies would conflate two totally different rituals of participatory meaningfulness, holistic volkism and celebratory obeisance in that way

Del Boy could say it WHILE FALLING THROUGH A FUCKING BAR.
COMEDY GOLD!!!

I would expect that from you DG though. You were the boy in primary school who told all the children santa didnt exist.

i did much worse than that!

AHAHHA WHERE IS YOUR SANTA NOW

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/Q/k/prince_harry_nazi.jpg

Nazi Harry told to see Holocaust film Shoah would've been more to the point.

pretty sure harry has never gone more than a shoah runtime without blapping a debutante or vomitting on something plush

http://www.theonion.com/articles/diamond-jubilee-marred-by-drunken-queen-elizabeth,28422/

lol that got me

I was worried that my village (as it's also a RAF base) would be terrible, as far as flags and bunting etc. - but not a single instance. Perhaps the Scottish factor won the day. There was, however a fete thing on a football pitch today, but I played the dour republican and just got drunk reading books in my local (which was the 'toilets' for the fair - never trust local council or the MOD to arrange anything).

And it's not like this crap is over - the Olympic torch is coming through in a week or so. :(

get out the piano wire yeah :D

Thinking of putting up a banner across the street - can't think of a slogan though. The best (sigh) I've come up with is 'Jobs and Justice, not Jewels and Javelins'. Maybe 'Jubilees and javelins'. But that's rubbish. and long. 'Fuck the Tories' is more concise, but maybe more likely to attract the police's ire.

http://twitpic.com/show/thumb/9s3d5k.png

just tomorrows newspapers to avoid and it should be over

we all are the queen of england, merry jubilee to us all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUyJ5CdqgAE

that woman from Pomplamoose has kinda let herself go

zzzzzzzzzzz

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/05/diamond-jubilee-institution

It's good to be reminded every few years that I live in a nation of servile, craven toadies who will happily traipse halfway across the country to stand in the rain waving plastic flags (made in China) at some sourfaced old bag whose greatest achivement is she hasn't died yet, but wouldn't lift a finger to help one of their fellow Britons because it's "none of their business" and "nothing to do with me". Hooray for us!

Well...

We've gone from a silver jub which 'entertained' dissent in the form of a song called "God save the queen" which was about a youth going to waste and nothing about any jubilee (entertained just as long as you accepted being beaten up by lovers of free speech with caveats and lovers of free expression of thumping people)

.. to , um, etc.

Was there an 'entertainment' of the kind of the last nights 'pop music' jambree? I don't recall one.

So, they've gone from 'out-and-out worship, or nothing' of churchinness and stuff, into a knees up and a bunch of jokes at her expense, no offence marm, lots of 'one' references and 'no stuffiness now'..

(The question was referencing the silver jub, obv).

I think the abiding memory of the golden jubilee show was the 'Brian May' moment, all shudder...

THANK FUCK ITS OVER

THANK FUCK ITS OVER

― it looks like something rupert the bear would wear (Algerian Goalkeeper),

it's not over yet
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/18353275

it's still going [via question time]