rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

http://i.imgur.com/7siqm.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/qeSY7.png

http://i.imgur.com/BWQ2l.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/z6zhx.jpg

gonna be an important thread for future historians i feel

feel like you could shop the open end of that p'zolo onto goatse and no one would notice

wow the p'zolo is huge. truly something to behold.

it's kind of maddening. i mean if pizza hut and these other places would just take all the $$ they are presumably putting into r&d or whatever it's called in the fast food/chain restaurant world and instead put it towards quality ingredients with the aim of making simple (if greazy) good ol' fashioned pizza, then their products would be edible, something like they last were decades ago. the drive for novelty has become increasingly silly to the point where, when i opened this thread i momentarily thought these were just some jokey ideas that dayo or another person had photoshopped. the p'zolo things just look nightmarish. are they using half-starved drug-addled homeless ppl for their test-marketing subjects or what?

even mcdonald's has more dignity

A COOL COLLISION OF SALTY SWEAT

just bought a bacon sundae fyi

did it come with a decorative piece of bacon sticking out?

this is obvious but this is a direct correlation to the emphasis on drawing hits on websites instead of reporting news/doing actual journalism - these food products (see also the pizza with hot dogs in the crust) get the restaurants press coverage, draw in consumers who just want to try the products so they can say they tried them - it's all about boosting numbers

edible memes

consume the thing that consumes you

did it come with a decorative piece of bacon sticking out?

they
give you one big slice and then a bunch of bits

wow, that bacon thing is real?!

how times have changed

I could see the bk burger artist asking his manager on how many slices of bacon to put in the sundae

holding out for a vegan version with tofutti or soy delicious and some of those imitation bacon bits

this is obvious but this is a direct correlation to the emphasis on drawing hits on websites instead of reporting news/doing actual journalism - these food products (see also the pizza with hot dogs in the crust) get the restaurants press coverage, draw in consumers who just want to try the products so they can say they tried them - it's all about boosting numbers

yeah i reckon that's so but it still seems absurdly short-sighted. but whatever. capitalism in the nineties. or whatever decade this is

The p'zolo looks, like, alive.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3355/4574468954_24ecbdb89b.jpg

cant believe the bacon sundae is real

idk ppl have been putting bacon in desserts for a while now, not that crazy that a big fast food restaurant would jump on that

yeah my best bro's fiancee sprinkles bacon in coffee.

full english breakfast smoothie

Thick, Hardwood

^ porn names

and yeah, BK bacon sundae is not super surprising to me. makes sense: further mainstreaming of "yum bacon" meme, sweet + salty has been a food trend for a while. not a bad idea, though i don't trust burger king to do right by it.

http://i.imgur.com/dcnTf.jpg

I've had bacon + ice cream or bacon + chocolate on a few occasions and it's never really been a very successful combination. It's basically just a sweet thing with a few chewy out-of-place bits of bacon floating around.

I saw the P'zolo commercial on TV last night and startled my wife by yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BULLSHIT" at the television

What in the fuck is the purpose of the apostrophe in the P'zone/P'zolo, other than to irritate me? Is there something wrong with "Pizzolo" (the word)? It's not like they're saving any syllables, really,

A made up word can be trademarked.

p'zolo live once thats the motto ni**a zolo

is "pizzone" a word?

http://www.sogoodblog.com/2012/06/08/review-pizza-hut-pzolos/

http://www.sogoodblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/pzolo2.jpg

hahaha "The P'Zolo: Better than a Hot Pocket!"

poo zoos only live once

I have never heard of a poo zoo coming back from the dead so there is that

poo zoo was the first p z combo I thought of, I should've went with the second: pussy zipper

"coprophiliac zoophile" - two words you never want to see together.

pinata zoroaster

Pazuzuzolo

I guess the name was chosen because "p'zolo!" is the sound someone makes when they bite into one and spit it out because it's too hot.

If there was a Klingon Pizza Hut, what would they call these?

pizza vuvuzelas think abt it

so who is gonna be the first one of us to actually eat a p'zolo?

i mean we all know it's gonna be me but i just figured i'd give someone else the opportunity to step up to the plate this time

There is no question that I would eat some of that

prob the wrong thread but i don't know where we put this stuff but here
https://www.deseret.com/entertainment/2021/3/2/22309367/reeses-all-peanut-butter-cup-no-chocolate

Hey! You put your peanut butter inside my ... peanut butter!

Vegan, plz

I tried Taco Bell for the first time a couple of months ago, and... How have any of you made a second visit?

I tried it for the first time at a young relative's birthday party a few years ago. I went back once more and tried the other menu item, the hard shell. That's enough.

yes, it's fucking awful

my brother-in-law really likes it for some reason. he's quite a good cook and a bit of a foody. i find it perplexing

The only acceptable time to eat Taco Bell is when one is very drunk. In 2015, when we were winter caretakers at the hobo museum, some friends had abandoned an old Volvo wagon on the property, and my partner got it working just enough to tool around in the small nearby town, but it was....scary.

Anyway, he was incredibly drunk, we were both incredibly drunk, and everyone on the property was incredibly drunk because we'd been partying for most of the day. But there was a 24-hr Taco Bell at the end of the .75 mile dirt road that led to the property. So he drove it through the drive-thru and purchased $50 worth of bean and cheese burritos and a few other things. In the meantime, one of the local cops pulled up behind us...

And that was the last evening that the Volvo drove! Taco Bell killed it.

Taco bell is great all the time actually, a national treasure

there was a period of about six years between age 16 and 21 where I ate taco bell multiple times a week but i'm pretty sure it's been a few decades since i last partook.

When I was in high school it was not uncommon for groups of my friends to drive 100 miles just to go to the nearest taco bell.

It's not objectively good but I still have a soft spot for it and would still absolutely choose it over the usual suite of US fast food options.

taco bell is drunk food only for me, ie midnight/2am tail end of all-day drinking epic slopfest. it soaks up the booze well. or has, the handful of times i have been in that situation

i cannot eat it sober. it’s gross.

have we discussed the current offerings at TGI Friday's? the front of their "Under the Big Top" themed menu is promoting such things as:

Famous Whiskey-Glazed Skewer: three sliders and six wings, on a stick

Whiskey-Glazed Donut Burger: cheeseburger with onions, bacon and pickles, "served on sweet, soft glazed donuts"

Flaming Donut Chicken Sandwich: same concept but with fried chicken in hot sauce plus jalapeños and Ranch. keeping the bacon too.

and the piece de resistance:

the Ooey Gooey Mozz Stick Melter: "Our famous Mozzarella Sticks, marinara & melted blend of 3 cheeses between two artisan slices of buttery bread. Skewered with two Mozzarella sticks."

you read that right: it's a three-cheese grilled cheese, plus it has mozzarella sticks inside it, and two more mozzarella sticks jammed on the top with a skewer. quarantine must have been tough on the food laboratory technicians.

That last one is less food lab and more thing a very high cook came up with for a shift meal

those all sound pretty good

https://www.culvers.com/curderburger

https://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/madison.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/2/d4/2d4de19f-18bf-57f2-af43-d001b492f3a8/6154a314820b1.image.jpg?resize=1200%2C900

The CurderBurger will be released for one day only, National Cheese Curd Day on October 15. Locations nationwide will have "a limited supply" of the burgers, according to the custard-slinging restaurant's announcement.

Culver's is describing the concoction as a ButterBurger "topped with a crown of golden fried cheese." Often, "crown" in culinary speak means a little on the top. Here, heavy is the head that wears the crown. That's no small amount of cheese on top. The big cheese curd topping is made with Culver's traditional blend of yellow and white cheddar, encased in seasoned bread crumbs.

appropriately, that link pulls up a "403 - Forbidden" when I click it

my local “omg bacon and jalapeños and whatever” burger place has had a nearly identical burger for some time

I may as well share their instagram with all of their burger abominations of the week
https://www.instagram.com/zombieburgerdm/

National Cheese Curd Day on October 15

STOP

xp to the things that make you irrationally angry thread

http://i.imgur.com/lBSOou9.png

augh

oh christ i just realized that motherfucker has a hello kitty human centipede tshirt on

threw up in my mouth a little

that’s actually a nice local businessman/chef (not kidding, haven’t heard anything bad and most restaurant owners are shitheads!) and all the other restaurants in the group are totally normal, if not exemplars of their types

but he thought it’d be fun to cash in on the omg bacon and zombies trend and I salute him

i mean sure, get that money but that shirt is a war crime and the burger is a crime against nature.

who did the bit about how incredibly depressing it is that every chicken nugget you see thrown to the street was an animal walking around, now reduced to useless waste? maybe rick and morty? in any case, that cow gave it's life for the worst reasons.

otm

oh christ i just realized that motherfucker has a hello kitty human centipede tshirt on

dude should be on a register for that, can you imagine his browser history?

Fans of Sonic onion rings will know that they have a particular sweetness -- I found out yesterday it's because they soak the cut onions in their ice cream mix, or at least a variation on it, before breading.

that also explains their peculiarly oniony ice cream

I suspected something like that about Sonic's onion rings! I tried them last summer and thought they were terrible.

that Curderburger thing was fucking huge here. we have 3 Culvers here (a town of about 55k) which open at 10 and apparently they all sold out by 10:30. wonder if they'd ban you for doing the sloppy steaks thing where you just order cheese curds and mash 'em on top

https://www.foodandwine.com/thmb/d_LhgdOauyK9NMh9Txvz74Yyl_g=/750x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Cup-Noodle-Breakfast-Ramen-FT-BLOG0323-d16d656494d34bff9a783d22b1238316.jpg

https://www.foodandwine.com/cup-noodles-releases-breakfast-instant-ramen-flavor-7373277?utm_campaign=foodandwine&utm_content=link&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_term=6425dd2ade7fbf0001510678

My wife has been addicted to these things lately. I've so far refused to try them.

https://www.kroger.com/product/images/large/front/0085001433500

i would try the puffcorn.
the pancake-flavored noodles look like a fascinating travesty

Ramen already is a breakfast dish in Japan anyway.

Boy does my friend who has lived in Japan for 30 years crave pancake breakfasts when stateside.

https://media-cldnry.s-nbcnews.com/image/upload/t_fit-560w,f_auto,q_auto:eco,dpr_2.0/rockcms/2023-06/pizza-hut-pickle-pizza-zz-230606-01-f119bd.jpg

not to be outdone, been inundated with ads for the Papa John's Cool Ranch Doritos Papadia lately... don't worry, in case that's not enough Cool Ranch Doritos for you, it also comes with Doritos Cool Ranch dipping sauce and you can get the meal deal with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos on the side

https://sportshub.cbsistatic.com/i/2023/04/26/b60390e5-d93f-4c6f-8b23-0e940f25dda5/papa-johns-cool-ranch.jpg

need someone from papa john's to sell me a container of the cool ranch seasoning

Not mad at the concept of pickles on pizza

Stop the condiment wars, the undisputed champ is here – Pepsi Colachup. Sweet, salty, and ready to try at select baseball stadiums on July 4th. Hot dogs are #BetterWithPepsi pic.twitter.com/7YQJdoAcTW

— Pepsi (@pepsi) June 27, 2023

why not Ketchepsi?

https://i.postimg.cc/jSq8XTDF/Screenshot-2024-07-09-at-12-23-32-PM.png

SubKrunch

Subway's new SubKrunch is made of seasoned, crispy corn bits

they looks like the busted Fritos at the bottom of the bag

https://people.com/thmb/G5NBNcJF46q-bSSkY9OSvIb-kh8=/750x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(761x218:763x220):format(webp)/Subway-SubKrunch-070924-tout-c1a7a821d56e427ba38dc5a23d895dad.jpg

Subway “innovations” are always so sad, like the box car Homer made for Bart

Who will try, document, and report back?

Says someone who went to a Guy Fieri restaurant and ilx live-blogged about it

everyone's trying the crispy bits on a sandwich thing now

Jimmy John's just introduced a Firecracker potato chip and has a sub/wrap that includes them

I'm willing to check out Subway's SubKrunch, it's just that every other sandwich shop is preferable so I haven't been there in years