What's your expertise?

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What subjects/abilities do you think you are #1 in/at out of all ILX posters?

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

soaking chickpeas and making curry with them mmmm curry!

― katie (katie), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(i am only #2 at Pervy Hobbit Fancying)

― katie (katie), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

My work probably makes me the repro/printing king. like that's of any use. dang probably has the edge on drwho cobblers.

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Macinti and analog video systems, sob.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

transformers.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Pokemon! Meerkats! Pervy hobbit fancying! Pervy vampire fancying!

Pervy vampire/hobbit slash fiction fancying, MMMMMMMMM!

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Professional wrestling in the United States, 1997-2001.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

speedball 2 on gameboy advance!

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

We might have to have a curry cookoff competition, someday, Katie...

Good god, though, I don't think I'm best at anything. IL* are a pretty talented bunch of people.

Gah, I feel so inadequate!

― kate, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

fancying DDRBs, kate?

i am best at making my eyes spin in my head in fact i issue a challenge thereto

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

(heh kate it was more the soaking chickpeas bit that i'm good at... though curry FITES are great also mmmm the more curry the better, though nb. mine will be vegan obv!)

― katie (katie), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I can do that mark! I take up your challenge!

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

anyone do anything athletic at all? sprint?

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Er, I dunno. I'm a bit rub at most things. Functional programming maybe? Particle physics? London Underground stuff? Shouting?

Kate and Katie could have a curry cook off and then follow it with A BASS DUEL!

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I am best at bending my right arm backwards.

There you go Alan.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to be able to run long distances fairly quickly but I have ruined my body with booze and lard.

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i am best at making my eyes spin in my head in fact i issue a challenge thereto

this just begs an animated gif

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Lying - especially off the cuff entertaining lies of no value whatsoever.

There's too many people who know more about cinema than me here for me even to go down that road.

Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine history and lyrics. Oh and I reckon I'm probably the best at VAT returns here too.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Fancying DDB's! yes, hooray! I am number one at something!

Vegan curry cook-off, mmmmmm. I think this is an EXCELLENT idea.

And then followed by the Kate & Katie Bass Explosion?

Katie G! You should join The Proper Girls! It's an All-Girl All-Bass arkestra! OK, we've rehearsed exactly once in two years, but you should still join. Five bassists = better than four!

― kate, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

That's fighting talk Ptee.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

athletic ILE?

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I can make my eyeballs shiver.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

You also make the best crazy ass chipmunk face

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Mawkishness? Skiving?

Possibles - distance running ? Darts - tho Cabbage is reputed to chuck a mean arrow? Cricket - outswing or spin bowling.

Definite - Nuclear Magnetic Resonance and Fourier-Transform Infra-Red Imaging Spectroscopies.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yes, Dance Dance Revolution!

RickyT is best at Haskell and scrambled eggZ0r!

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"Do you want a fight Graham"

THAT'S fighting talk. (Lying or Carter lyrics?)

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

oh blimey, college stuff. well the philosophy of mind's prob moved on in the last 10 years, but maybe that, though also is v rusty.

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

No Pete, I don't.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I reckon I'd be good at cricket. But, I've never played it properly (not even at school).

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I post the most of anyone who has never recieved a single solitary e-mail from you lot.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

(???i'm not sure that that's true colin...)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, without a single solitary UNSOLICITED e-mail from you lot.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

the catholic church,sodomy and art history-maybe w. the art history- since suzy,mark s,tom, or any number of other people might be better then me or are better then me.

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

DUDE (ie. KATE!!) i am joining that bass arkestra. oh yes. count me in!!

― katie (katie), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

now jel AS IF you are king of transformers!

― bob zemko (bob), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

also like many i can flick my eyelids inside out BUT i can hold them like that for AGES. my record is like 40mins which i am sure i could surpass. i stopped cos i could feel a layer of dust gathering on my eyes.

― bob zemko (bob), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

not going to the dentist!!

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Alan - I would challenge you for the title of repro king. Over 10 years in printing/publishing as mac-monkey, my IT dept quake when I call. Sorry you'll have to think of something else... You're pretty good at posting pictures of kittens aren't you? ;)
Also I would emphatically kick everyones ass at pinball.
Also -I haven't been to the dentist for nearly 12 years!

― Simeon (Simeon), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

12 yrs is my record too, tho not current (= five i think)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Hah I beat you Mark S. I am now on 15 years without oral examination.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I'm trying to REMEMBER the last time I went to a dentist. Not since I was a teenager, and my parents still had dental insurance, which is quite some time ago. So I'm either pushing 15 or 16 years, which means I BEAT YOU ALL!!!

(I probably shouldn't have admitted to that in public, eh?)

― kate, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

big book of british teeth ahoy

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I am told that I'm a pretty good cook. I used to work for one of those TV celebrity chefs, so I suppose I'd be a tad embarrassed not to be able to throw a half-decent omelette together.

I can wiggle my ears, too.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

My threads die quickly. Or I am an expert at unsolicited self-deprecation that causes others to simply ignore me. One, the other, or both ;-).
(Am I being self-deprecating about being self-deprecating? Fuck!)

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

20th Century Scottish Lit?

― david h (david h), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

colin i would write to you, but it would turn into a complicated, embittered mash note because you ruined my teenage years.

i would have thought comics until that bastard skidmore came along...now i dont know!!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Pete, I'm up for a Carter lyrics FITE, if you like, though only the first two albums. Shall we? maybe not.

Anyone want to organise a badminton tournament? I'm quite good at that.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

HOBBITED DRACKULA BY TIM

frotoe says to sam lets go for a walk up those pretty hills sam. and bring carrots and appels to eat our way theire. sam says maybe wheel see frogs and toads and they want some too. frotoe says that would be fun. they walk up the hills. the hills are green and look pretty good. they stop at the top. sam says i bet this carrot would eat good with peepols blood. sam looks left and writ for a cut stick. and finds it too. sam puts the stick in frotoes neck. the red blood falls out. also frotoe shouts loud. sam sticks the carrot in the red blood and then he bites it good. the carrot eats like a salty carrot. sam says your blood eats good frotoe. frotoe cant say. becos hes been put to killed by the cut stick. sam cries loud and bad. a frog and toad show up and eat the blood too.

― tim@kfc.edu, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I did not visit the dentist between the years 1985 to 2001.

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 48 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

er, speaking catalan? (i guess there's more spanish speaking people here, but catalan...).
oh, and maybe i have the longest moustache. #1 moustache in ILE, sure.

― joan vich (joan vich), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I have pokemon gold and blue! but no link cable! you will beat me! I have Pokemon pinball but I never got the hang of that. That musical is supposed to be next month!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I know loads of unrelated facts about stuff. I'm hoping one day to synthesise all this knowledge, but it isn't happening so far.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

That's maximum length of the nails, Ray. Six are <= 5mm. Obviously the rest of my finger extends well beyond the end of the nail.

I'll challenge Andrew on computer games, though I'll concede on the ones where you make some person or vehicle move or shoot things if he'll concede on Minesweeper, Space Cadet and TextTwist. Those are the only ones I play.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

so next fap = ILXympics?

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

come on it'll be great...you can have all sorts of pub and ILX related challenges!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Does anyone else know Morse code? 'Cause I took the time to learn it but it's pretty useless unless there's someone around to decypher it.

― Miss Laura, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

anna is so rub at high heels she has to take them off and run to the tube in her stockings.

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm fairly sure I'm the only person on ILx with the ability to operate an IMAX projection system and not destroy it. Also I have 25 Shine Sprites in Mario Sunshine.

― adam (adam), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

If I ever get tot the UK I'll challenge you at Pokémong starry!

I bet I apologise more than anyone else here. & I'm pretty good at random late-night (insert product here) runs.

right, who is the best dancer? my vote goes to di (I might be the best b01 dancer tho . . .)

― ABRA I CHOOSE YOU! (esskay), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

ILXympics!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 September 2002 08:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It was only once Anthony. And they were new shoes.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 19 September 2002 08:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Aaargh, I'd forgotten about wee inbetween work (hem hem) computer games. I'm not committed enough to those, which has lead to conversations along the lines of

Me: "Yeah, I've occasionally cleared the stats in Freecell and started again, but I seem to naturally gravitate to 56%"

Them: "You lose games of Freecell?"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 19 September 2002 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

haha I can't play Space Cadet pinball in between work: a game of that needs a whole day off work. The last time, I played for around five hours then had to throw the game away with about thirty balls left because I wanted to go to bed. That's the trouble with some computer games - if you get too good they become almost unplayable. TextTwist is getting that way too - a good game can last two hours or more.

I lose sometimes at Freecell! My best run is 34 wins in a row, but it's not one I've played all that much.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 September 2002 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Space Cadet pinball is grebt! I am ace at it and have beat Toms puny high scores. Actually I dunno if he has beaten me again yet MUST PLAY MORE! I am now addicted to ALCHEMY which is grebter than Text Twist as it is not timed, so you can play it/go off and do some work/have lunch/sleep/play more!

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i am the queen of dope wars at home with a mighty 33 million dollars! aubrey was most unimpressed as i beat him off the top spot hahaha!

― katie (katie), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Alchemy is quite excellent, yes. In fact, I blame Alchemy for my complete non-productivity last summer.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I have special skills in maths and chemistry, but since i didn't persue a PhD in either I suspect that there is someone on this board has more expertise. Although I am a wiz at using the aforementioned NMR. I may be the "mindtrap" boardgame champion.

I have special baking skills, though this is probably just cause I have good recipes and good technique. So I may be the best apple pie maker.

I am a pretty good dancer, but not in a professional dancer way. I may be the best non-style specific freelance dancer.

I can fold origami pretty well, and I have many folds memorized. Sometimes I create new folds. I may be the best origami folder on the board. But I am out of practice.

― marianna, Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

picking winners on the flat.

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

How ace at Space Cadet, Sarah? I've only had the chance to complete two games since the fresh hard drive, and the better just sneaked over 200 million. I am hoping to find someone better at this, Minesweeper (66 seconds) or TextTwist (275k) than me to give me an incentive.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 September 2002 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I am the best at getting bastard headaches in mid-morning that severely distract me from life, even though they are not migraines. I am also the best at random moments of contemplation in between much talking. Beyond that, god knows.

Di is definitely a candidate for best dressed. Every time I saw her she was dressed to the nines.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 September 2002 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

wow, thank you ned, and thanks esskay!

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 21 September 2002 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't think of anything.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Saturday, 21 September 2002 05:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't think of anything.

Radiohead-fancying?

Me: sewing; Afghan Whigs lyrics and trivia; international development.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 22 September 2002 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

who is the ilx chessmaster

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Sunday, 22 September 2002 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Mitch left me off his list, but I can do a decent doodle here and there too. And unless anyone else is a banker/jewelry designer... ?

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 22 September 2002 05:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i am a genius when it comes to the arcade version of moon patrol. i can rock that game so hard. even the super-challenging levels are no match for my fearsome videogame prowess. actually, i can rock most games pre-1984.

― geeta (geeta), Sunday, 22 September 2002 06:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Any of the hockey games from sega through ps2 I can kick ass at. Oh, and being passive aggressive. That may be my one true talent.

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 22 September 2002 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to be pretty good at chess, boxcubed, but I've not played in years and years. How can we measure it? Unless anyone has international ranking points. I have beaten county players, at my youthful peak. I'm guessing that as intelligent a group as this will have better, probably.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 22 September 2002 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

ok in my preparatory 96-theses research i have just discovered that ilxor has 300 pages-worth of discussion (geneva nine-pt, single line space, double between paras, and losing all the repetitive thread furniture obv) on the vexed topic of rockism!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 22 September 2002 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

We need more! Or alternatively, are you saying you can't sum that up in a one-sentence definition?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 22 September 2002 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

well yes i can obv, but it may take me a while!!

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 22 September 2002 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Who was it who apologised for sending a long letter, explaining that they didn't have time to write a short one?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 22 September 2002 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

You could play each other on Yahoo! Games chess. Might even be able to set up an ILX league, I don't know, I don't play chess. There's Boggle, too, if anyone wants to inflict the obvious Beastie Boys lyrics on the thread. (Heh heh, I did enjoy muttering them to myself a while ago where I joined five seconds before the end of a round, got one word in that time and got told "u r fuckn dumb" for only getting one word in the whole round, then proceeded to thrash the other player in the rest of the game. I know there is little glory in winning word games against people who can't spell the second person pronoun or form a present participle, but it felt good at the time.)

And Pictionary. Internet pictionary! Isn't technology wonderful? But that gets tiresome as soon as your opponents realise that there's nothing to stop them just scrawling the word, or when your masterfully sketched biplane or world map is unrecognised, sigh. And there's Mah Jongg, where the character/Wan tiles are only marked with Chinese numerals, so ignorant types like me have no idea whether we're calling with a low-scoring hand or should just chuck the lot out. But the Scrabble's a bit dodgy; the board layout's copyright, so the Yahoo board has really strangely placed bonus squares.

― too much time on my hands (reb), Sunday, 22 September 2002 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

haha my idea of a precis has always been a piece five times longer than the original filling in all the stuff the original obviously forgot to put in!!

so ph34r my single sentence!!

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 22 September 2002 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

can anyone beat 209 kick-ups(with a football)? if not then i am the best here at that.

― michael wells (michael w.), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

at last i have an expertise! ph34r my mighty space cadet score: 378 million. i am better at real pinball than computer pinball though.

― angela (angela), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Sanrio/San-x expert, maybe.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I have no idea. can't think of owt at all, except perhaps the ability to watch footy every day and not get bored of it in the slightest.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I am ashamed to say that despite being a pinball addict for years, I have never even seen Space Cadet. I understand it sucks compared to the pro-pinball series of games. I've got XP does it come with that?

I've said it before, but if you like PC pinball, go and download Visual Pinball. You can play any real table on your PC.

I still maintain that I would own you all in a real life pinball situation. I can get the wizard mode and Grand Champion score on pretty much any table.

(Note to self: Get a f*cking life)

― Simeon (Simeon), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Angela, that is a fantastic space cadet score! How long did it take? I'd have thought that would be, ooh, ten or twelve hours of play, but perhaps you score faster than I do!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

it is fucking impossible to get 378 million on space cadet, maybe you are not carrying the zero properly

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

It's by no means impossible Mitch - I've been beyond 200 million a few times, and I recently abandoned a game not far short of 200m with about 30 balls still to come (it was time for bed and switching off the computer). I can imagine, given the time, maybe getting up to that score myself, so I don't doubt at all that Angela got there. I'm pleased to find someone better than me too: I like the game, but when a good game can take 6 hours or more and you've heard of no one better I found it hard to motivate myself. Angela has given me a new target at which to aim!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

oh the shame. i have a new expertise, public humiliation. mitch is right (except that i was off by even more than he suggested). when i checked on the home computer last night i saw that in fact my high score on space cadet was a puny 3,786,000. i think i was mixing up the scoring on space cadet with that on a friend's twilight zone table (which runs easily into hundreds of millions). that's my sorry excuse. *hangs head in shame*

― angela (angela), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 07:04 (twenty-two years ago)

**can anyone beat 209 kick-ups(with a football)? if not then i am the best here at that**

I saw this yesterday and I had a go last night - I got to 120-odd, so you're still the king, Michael. For now!

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

haha I got 340 as a child, but god knows now I couldn't stand for that long these days. I remember just after it, I was 11 or so, me and my brother played a game where you kicked the ball as high as you humanly could and tried to kick it as it came down. So it went well for a while and we both had a laugh, then I kicked the ball really high and decided to control it just above my knee, the force of it gave me such a dead leg that I fell over. It was agony.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm rubbish at them but console myself with the fact that Uwe Seeler's record was 8!! and I can beat that.

I once did 56 nose hops on my bmx without stopping

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

So my 227 million on Space Cadet stands? I still think the kind of score Angela cited is perfectly possible. Perhaps I should give up my job to try to prove it...

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I once made the score "flip" on Canyon Climber for the TRS-80

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

ronan, you did NOT get 340 as a child! they have to be consecutive, you know? i want proof!

*takes ball home in huff*

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 26 September 2002 07:48 (twenty-two years ago)

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