Glastonbury (the town, not the festival)

It's utter SHITE isn't it?

I had never been before. It's one of those mystical places of yore that I was raised to believe was really amazing. But it somehow manages to take loads of stuff I have a real soft spot/fondness for, mix it up with LOADS OF COMPLETE WOO-ISH TOSS and turn it into a New Age Disney World.

FP of this parish can attest that after walking around for less than an hour I was basically grinding my teeth with ill concealed rrrrrrage. I thought it was going to be my ~spiritual home~ and I just wanted to punch everyone I saw.

What's wrong with me? Or more to the point, what is wrong with Glastonbury?

That said, the little shop down the alleyway that sold pornographic paintings of Herne the Hunter with full on gay cock shots and phallic symbols everywhere, that was pretty cool.

The rest of it, I wanted the Reformation to come and sweep it all into a river.

I think it was the chakra-slanket that sent me over the edge.

Hahaha, is it really that bad? I've only ever driven through on the way to the festival. I guess it doesn't really surprise me that it'd be all Corporate Mysticism.

I was sputtering with rage. I had to leave. I was like "I would rather spend an hour standing round Bristol Temple Meads than spend another minute in this place!"

I probably would have liked it better if we'd skipped the town and gone straight from the Abbey up the Tor instead, but the weather was too inclement.

It's not even that it's Corporate Mysticism, it's just inept mishmash of every rubbish idea thrown in a pot and spun around half digested.

YOGA FOR DISCOVERING YOUR INNER GODDESS ANGEL CHAKRAS ON LEY LINES WITH A CORN DOLLIE DREAM CATCHER.

There was a Goddess conference on there while we were there - which was not bad in and of itself, I've nothing against Goddess worship. But the SODDING POSTERS that were up everywhere showed this skinny blonde supermodel type, pregnant, NAKED, in a field of wheat. Let me tell you, sitting in a field of wheat, especially a recently harvested one, is NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO NAKED. I mean, talk about itching. Goddess or not.

(Also, I have decided that Welsh language road signs are the best thing in the entire world. I WANT them everywhere now.)

Good Abbey, though. Not as nice as Tintern, obviously, but still quite lovely.

Oh it's awful. Even worse (potentially) is Avebury which has two shops - one is the NT one (which is nice but full of overpriced recipe books) and the other is run by somebody who thinks crop circles are caused by aliens and has books only by cerealogists and are actively aggressive to dissenting opinions - I half=heartedly mentione Doug & Dave in there once and was physically thrown out.

Glastonbury is full of charged new age crystals and dream catchers and goddess worship(but only thin ones unless they're made out of stone) and mung beans and organic mud crafted green men. It's the heart of Morrissian mysticism and appeals as such. Did you know Robert Llewellyn's latest novel is based on News From Nowhere? He sponsored it on the book version of Bandcamp (Unbound?) and made more money than he ever has before.

Nah, I didn't mind Avebury that much - mainly because we didn't go in any of the shops, we just walked round the stones (with a proper archeologist to explain what had been changed and altered) and it was fine.

I suppose it threw me into such a rage because there's lots of that Morrissian pagan Britain tat that does really appeal to me. But mixed in with new age crystals and angels and "how many different cultures can we appropriate in one fell swoop?" mysticism it makes me probably more uncomfortable than if I didn't care about any of it.

Avebury (the town) is lovely but the commercial side, when/if you encounter it, is more polarised than the Glastonbury peer.

Absolutely, the worst part for me is that the bits of that cultural package I love just gets muddled up with EVERYTHING else that's vaguely New Age (you must have seen wolfshirts and American Indian imagery there) irrespective of relevance. Like it's all interchangeable and means the same thing. The end result you take away is that to them it must mean nothing if they think it's equal.

That's what kind of winds me up the most, the idea that it's all interchangeable and means the same thing. Like, rainbow fairies with glitter stuck on them, combined with half-digested bits of 2000 year old philosophy from a culture halfway round the world. And not even a post-modern "tear down hierarchies" sort of way but in a "I bet we can sell this tat to tourists - oh but we're not ~commercial~ because we're spiritual hippies, maaaan." It's one thing if you want to mangle up bits of your mythology - but appropriating other people's cultures, and then presenting them as if they are ~exactly the same as~ shit from, like, Lord of the Rings - from a work of *fiction* up against someone else's entire culture. It makes me really angry.

But then in the middle of all that, there will be something really beautiful like the labyrinth.

Really good nut-roast, though FP will be cross if I don't at least point that out.

"I bet we can sell this tat to tourists - oh but we're not ~commercial~ because we're spiritual hippies, maaaan."

This.

And, you know, Asia, America, Europe, Australia... all the same place. Christainity, Bhuddism, all colours of Paganism... all the same thing.

I felt more honest spending my money at English Heritage and CADW, to be honest. They, at least, were honest about "this is a commercial transaction coz we need money to keep our ruins from falling into the ground."

And, you know, Asia, America, Europe, Australia... all the same place. Christainity, Buddhism, all colours of Paganism... all the same thing.

Thing is, on some levels, that whole... "all these religions have shared ideas and common goals" is a really good way of thinking about it. Trying to establish common ground between Christianity and paganism and Buddhism and Islam is a noble and good goal. Just not the way THEY do it, like it's this pick and choose buffet of "let's take all the fun, happy shit, but none of the actual hard work of living your ideals stuff, we just want fluffy feelgood angels here."

But that's not unique to New Age, really.

It IS that bad. Go to Wells instead next time. At least, after most of a day getting annoyed by Glastonbury I finally gave up and arrived at Wells just too late to see the Bishop's Palace and I wish I'd spent the day there instead. (OK, I doubt there's a day's worth of stuff to do in Wells, but I think watching swans ring a bell is 6000x more amusement than I found anywhere in Glastonbury.)

Also say hi to FP from me. Not that I expect you to remember me, FP, but I was wondering what happened to you last time I went through Bristol. Hope you're doing well.

Oh aye, like when you get women telling you Buddhism is the religion they feel the closest to without them bothering to read up on stuff like 'if you're lucky you might get reincarnated as a man next time'. But you're right it's not exclusive. Most people these days only want to pick and choose the bits of things they like.

Passing Spacecadet, I will see if I can summon FP through the power of twitter... (FP and Missus P were both doing fabulously when I left them this afternoon.)

I have no problem with people picking and choosing the bits of religions that are meaningful to them, in order to bring it up to modern concerns and leave behind ancient prejudices, as long as the basic message stays unchanged. But oh... I don't know. I'm gonna try not to be so judgey about stupid hippies.