Most ridiculous, obviously made-up story you've been told?

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A male friend of mine recently came out. Along with this revelation, he also revealed that he had an identical twin brother who lives in far-away Australia (we're from Ireland, btw), called Tom, who he had met only once. He claimed that Tom now refused to talk to him because he had come out. How terrible, we responded. So far, so believable.

Then, as he revealed more about his twin, holes started appearing in his story. My attention-starved chum said:

"You know when I was out the other night with you in town? That wasn't me, it was my twin brother. I showed him pictures of everyone, and told him who everyone was, and he passed himself off as me."

Hmmm...alarm bells started to ring here. Aside from his lack of an Aussie accent on the night in question, it did not seem likely that such a feat could be pulled off.

Then, he says to my girlfriend and her own twin sister:

"Have you two ever snogged each other?" They reply in the negative.
"Me and my twin have," he responds. This is greeted with stunned silence. A bizarre re-union for 2 long-lost brothers: first one pretends to be the other, then they snog each other. My doubts increased. Then he says...

"My twin brother is a model."

Gah! Lies! At this point I should point out that my friend is both small and (at the risk of sounding mean) very unattractive. My suspicions are confirmed.

He finally admitted defeat yesterday, admitting that Seth did not exist. He wouldn't admit that he made the story up, though, he claimed that he had been taken in by a look-alike, who pretended to be his twin. Hmmm...

Not sure why I decided to share this one with you all, but what the hell. Any ludicrous, made-up stories you'd like to share?

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:13 (twenty-three years ago)

nothing that could possibly top that.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I would Ph34r your friend. He sounds like a right head the ball. Or a nut-nut. You get the idea.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus that one is the most insane story I've ever heard in my life..

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:21 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah. man, that's so amusing. this guy needs help.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Once some boy in my school claimed that this other boy in some other, far away school had had his penis kicked so hard that it had gone inwards with the blow (a concave cock, if you will). "He had to go to the hospital and everything."

There was this other kid I knew who constantly went on and on about how he had the Telebugs at home (note: Telebugs were cartoon robots that had a series running on ITV in the mid eighties). Apparently they could drill a hole in any wall, and their holes could fit anything inside them, except anything holy.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:24 (twenty-three years ago)

i think they are twins and you met seth: that's why his story didn't add up, he'd never met you b4 kilian

he doesn't need help, he just needs a pen and paper

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:25 (twenty-three years ago)

People who socialize with Ptee to thread!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:26 (twenty-three years ago)

we can't, he made us all up

dan, ned and gale are the only ppl he didn't invent: haha the expense of hiring the entire troupe of the Dunedin-Auckland Amateur Strolling Players for two weeks was astounding!!

But worth it obv

― Ptee s (mark s), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:29 (twenty-three years ago)

That's the funniest thing I've read since the Gay Dad article on ILM....

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:32 (twenty-three years ago)

damn you, Chriddof! "concave cock", being the funniest thing i've evah heard, almost got me in trouble at work. had to bite my damn lip to stop a "wasting time on the net" laugh spilling out.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:34 (twenty-three years ago)

That bloody eyeball story. AND I fell for it.

Pete, when younger, had an opperation to correct something to do with his eyes, only with a local anesthetic though. Did you know that the optic nerve stays the same size throughout life? Interesting, esp. as the surgeon opperating on baby Ptee pulled out Pete's eye and turned it round so he could see inside his head, because there was enough slack on the optic nerve to be able to do so.

Bah. I'm not usually this dim, I was a bit drunk.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:39 (twenty-three years ago)

In middle school some girl claimed her belly button had been surgically removed. She actually did lower her pants to "show," but because she was so careful to keep a certain part of her abdomen covered we all assumed she was just making it up.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:46 (twenty-three years ago)

It's the lookalike fraud cover up story that gets me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah me too, I mean why? Some sick bastard pretends to be his brother and then disowns him.....

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:53 (twenty-three years ago)

"He finally admitted defeat yesterday, admitting that Seth did not exist"

For Seth, read Tom. The name he actually used for his twin was Seth, but I just changed it to Tom for the story on ILM. Not sure why...

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:55 (twenty-three years ago)

now you're lying! gaaaarrrrgggghhh!!!!!!!

― michael wells (michael w.), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:58 (twenty-three years ago)

You're as bad as him.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 12:59 (twenty-three years ago)

As Tom/Seth doesn't exist, I can call him whatever I want!

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:16 (twenty-three years ago)

no, stop it! this is truth-is-all-relative-like-a-line-or-something territory. you post about a friend making a story up and then make up part of said story *yourself*! my head hurts.

― michael wells (michael w.), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Gah! The name of the make-believe twin doesn't change the tone of the story! Cease your nit-picking!

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:26 (twenty-three years ago)

i solved it: they're triplets!!

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Dave Clarke and his five grills.

Sewage in Deptford is 20% blood.

There's much much more where this came from.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:30 (twenty-three years ago)

that's pretty fucked up.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:47 (twenty-three years ago)

My sister once told me her friend Mave wrote American Pie.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 13:49 (twenty-three years ago)

When my sister got pregnant in high school and went to the hospital to give birth my parents told me she went get her appendix out (no, the babys name was not Appendix). I couldn't believe they expected me to fall for it.

― lawrence kansas, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 14:03 (twenty-three years ago)

When I was at secondary school there was this kid, Krishnan, who told us that he was going to be in the the film 'The King & I' but Yul Bryner had kept picking on him and in the end his Dad had a fight with him and so he never got to be in it.

"Chinny reckon", we said.

"It's true", he said.

The next day someone brought in a copy of Leonard Maltin's Movie Guide and it says 'King & I, The (1956)' and we were all born in 1970/71 so we challenged him and all he said was: "No, it's true, it must be a printing error. You calling me a liar?".

His Dad was pretty hard by most accounts - Bruce Lee was another of his victims.

― Alfie, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 16:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Title : Suture
Director: Scott McGehee, David Siegel
Plot summary : by Chris Falzon.
Plot Summary Film about a man, Vincent (Michael Harris), stalking his supposedly identical half-brother Clay (Dennis Haysbert). Since no one else knows he has an identical half-brother, he can murder Clay, whose body will be identified as Vincent's. While everyone thinks he is dead, he can then murder his rich father and disappear with his fortune. The twist is that the two do not look at all alike, but everyone in the movie treats them as if they were identical. Sarah Bachelard suggests that the film explores questions of identity, memory and mind-body dualism, and suggests what the world would be like if dualism were true. A central character is a plastic surgeon called Renee Descartes.
Relevant Text R. Descartes: Meditations
Area Early Modern Philosophy
Theme Descartes
KeyScenes
Medium Videotape
Details 1993
Length 96 min

― the hegemon, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 18:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Someone at school once told me that Guy Fe fed acid to a seagull and its head fell off.

― James Larcombe, Thursday, 19 September 2002 13:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Once upon a time there was a talking snake with legs. . .

― DeRayMi, Thursday, 19 September 2002 13:54 (twenty-three years ago)

AAGH! The above movie ("Suture") has the exact same plot as the Nabokov novel "Despair." Does he get credited anywhere?

― Nick A., Thursday, 19 September 2002 13:59 (twenty-three years ago)

that between monday and saturday one week ages ago this bloke with a beard made the world and then had sunday off.

that this other bloke with a beard met a girl on monday, took her out tuesday and then gave her one everyday right the way through up to and including saturday and then had sunday off.

never trust a man with a beard.

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 19 September 2002 14:01 (twenty-three years ago)

hegemon- BBC shhowed the movie last saturday.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 19 September 2002 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

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