ask dog latin

an egregious vanity thread doomed to meet a prematurely sticky end... ask and ye shall receive ANSWERS!

Why?

how big is your cock?

About a foot and a half tall.

SM - because it's going to be another very slow work week, and this will continue until September, hence why I seem to be on here even more than usual.

seriously.

below average? average? above average? give me a ballpark figure. add a half inch if you need to.

i don't even know what's average these days, about 9"?

no, man. that would be well above average.

circumcised? yoou're british, right?

no. yes.

i'm not answering any more questions about my cock now.

you ever blow a guy before?

before what?

one question at a time, please.

can't say i did.

have you ever looked at child pornography?

no

Are you a dog?

You have tried to insert a duplicate message.

Return to Front Page

Are you moving to Germany and is your current home a large grey stone one like the ones which are common in Bristol?

GG - that link doesn't work.

Refer to the Recently on ILX Dreams thread for explanation.

Aha! Well, the answer is, no, I've just moved to 1ckleford which is a bordering village on the outskirts of my old town of Hitchin. Despite not living with my g/f any more, I still get to see her whenever we like and I quite like living out in the countryside. I'd like to check out Berlin - I only went to Germany once on a school trip but we didn't see any cities.

btw GG - I'm sorry I didn't reply to your FB mail you sent all that time ago. I had meant to, but I was checking my mails on the hoof at the time and then forgot to get round to it - didn't mean to ignore you!

If you had to spend the rest of your life using only one piece of cutlery, which would you choose?

Do you feel old now that you're over 30?

have you ever considered writing a comedy script?

being a village I'd imagine 1ckleford is quite 1ckle.

Is it?

NBS - I went to a medieval banquet once up on Staffordshire where I had to eat a jacket potato using only a knife, which was fun and dangerous. So yes, a knife.

Is there anything more beautiful than an England flag?

Bob Six - I answered this question at length on the What's The Worst Part Of Getting Old thread. Answer in short: no I don't feel old, but a lot of my peers are doing their darndest to make it so.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ickleford - described as "a large village". I can imagine the name stems from the same place as "Icknield Way" which lies near it.

Which of the various apes/monkeys/lemurs etc. at Monkey World (Dorset's finest ape rescue centre) would you be most excited about seeing up close?

Have you ever had serious fun with a laser gun?

Say you order that knife, only there's an administrative error and when it arrives it's several hundred miles long. You get to use it only once, to cut Britain in two. Where do you make the cut, and which side do you stand on?

Was it not until the recent prominent news stories on the deaths of Gore Vidal and Vidal Sassoon that you realised they were, in fact, two different people?

Which of the various apes/monkeys/lemurs etc. at Monkey World (Dorset's finest ape rescue centre) would you be most excited about seeing up close?

― I've been to Suffolk (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 13 August 2012 12:10 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Chimps

Have you ever had serious fun with a laser gun?

― I've been to Suffolk (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 13 August 2012 12:13 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Not since Quasar at Stevenage Leisure Park closed down in the early nineties.

What was your favourite moment of the Olympics?

Would a spork not be more useful? (Though obviously not for cutting the country in two.)

Say you order that knife, only there's an administrative error and when it arrives it's several hundred miles long. You get to use it only once, to cut Britain in two. Where do you make the cut, and which side do you stand on?

― Ismael Klata, Monday, 13 August 2012 12:18 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Good question. Assuming it would be this knife...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9zuSTOE2vk

it should be able to cut anything. Sadly I wouldn't really want to cut Britain in two, and I couldn't give the knife away as a gift as that's bad luck, so I'd have to sell it to someone for a penny and they can make the decision about where this new Danelaw might be.

What was your favourite moment of the Olympics?

― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 13 August 2012 12:24 (50 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Feck!

Is it about time Bruce Forsythe retired from Strictly Come Dancing?

Would a spork not be more useful? (Though obviously not for cutting the country in two.)

― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 13 August 2012 12:25 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Spork is the worst of both worlds.

Is it about time Bruce Forsythe retired from Strictly Come Dancing?

― I've been to Suffolk (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 13 August 2012 12:33 (3 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

IS that what he's doing now? I don't watch a lot of TV... Nah, keep him going. He will die on camera.

What's the ideal height for grass?

lawn grass?

What should I have for tea tonight?

SM - depends if you're in a hardwater area.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

i have no way of telling whether you shall or shall not.

What's the single best moment of When The Levee Breaks?

― Ismael Klata, Tuesday, 14 August 2012 11:57 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I like the bit where the levee actually breaks.

Does the smell of petroleum pervade throughout?

― kmfdotm (ledge), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 11:48 (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

42

What is the funniest thing you have ever said? Please give an honest answer.

What is the funniest thing you have ever said? Please give an honest answer.

― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 14 August 2012 12:17 (24 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

- They're like Green Day but slower

Did you have to be there?

I have an unanswered question

Did you have to be there?

― Ismael Klata, Tuesday, 14 August 2012 12:22 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

To be honest I don't think it's the funniest thing I've said. I think that was a lie.

I have an unanswered question

― I've been to Suffolk (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 12:22 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm getting to you.

In 1981 the first Thatcher-led Tory government was deeply unpopular. The monetarist policy they were pursuing was having catastrophic economic effects, unemployment was rising to unprecedented levels and riots were breaking out all over the country. Meanwhile as the Labour party lurched to the left some split from it and formed the SDP. Polls during that time were notoriously volatile, but Labour was generally ahead of the Conservatives and for a brief period the SDP were the most popular party in the country. In 1982 the Falklands effect saw Thatcher's popularity soar and the Tories gained a landslide victory in 1983. After this they embarked on a massive programme of privitisation, hugely curbed union powers and defeated the NUM in a lengthy and bitter battle, and introduced market-led economic reforms that radically changed the face of Britain. Were the changes that took place in Britain in the 80s and 90s a historical inevitability or would the country be a very different place now if the Falklands War had never happened and either Michael Foot's Labour or David Owen's SDP had won the 1983 election? If the latter, how? (no detailed answers, please, just glib ones)

― I've been to Suffolk (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 12:00 (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

We would all be dyeing our clothes grey and shouting at books.

Will you now accept that your past writings on the Welfare State were, at best, misguided?

Have you ever considered trying to have a novelty hit by covering The Specials' Do The Dog with all of the lyrics translated into Latin?

I've attemped to give you a headstart in this project by translating part of the chorus, but the results (Operor canis ( non donkey )) lead me to suspect the internet translator is defective. Surely there were donkeys in roman times and surely the Latin word for donkey wasn't "donkey"?

ah man I know this

Donkey - Wikipedia, the free en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donkey
The donkey or ass, Equus africanus asinus

Yep, donkey = asinus

tu stultior quam asinus est

Could you quickly rattle off the rest of the song too, just in case he wants to go ahead with this idea?

I am terrible at grammar, but my attempt at the chorus:

Facere in canus, facere in canus
Facere in canus, nolite asinus facere

It's a hit!

Wooo! Statim sera sentio ambulavero in periculo. Si ego me intueris puellam quandam a omnino alienus.

Which was your favourite caramel shop?

it was so long ago and i have visited so many in my time that i don't remember.

downloaded any good albums recently, dog latin?

Nah.

You?

by a band

i heard a band

yeah, the barenboim/boulez recording of the liszt piano concertos, lee gamble's new album, and the new richard pinhas / tatsuya album

i suspect you might like the lee gamble album

i tried a lee gamble compilation once and it kind of sailed over my head. but i read a good interview with him in the Wire later that made me think I ought to give him another go. I have very similar feelings about Kassem Mosse - just waiting for the right time and place.

I Didn't download albums, but I did get this through the post today (as mentioned on the outernational thread). http://www.soulbrother.com/shop/spiritual-jazz-vol-5-2/

Haven't listened to it yet but it look interesting.

I love Soulbrother records, I think I started a thread on that label.

That comp is quite good. Only given it a cursory listen. Might have been expecting a bigger 'world' influence as it's largely impossible to tell which country each track originates from without reading the sleevenotes.

the title / opening post in this thread is excellent, much better than it would have been if you got your code right

Wayne Rooney

(re op) What do people think of a scene from a comedy script I've got in the works? was probably the best ilx ever, how you feeling about it as its 10 year anniversary nears?

Failing to type out Wayne Rooney in all different fonts vs Worst attempt at 'teh funneh' ever...? I'm just proud to have given ILX these gifts.

Kind of want to hear a Wiz Khalifa / Migos style track called Wayne Rooney now.

There were some amazing scripts in there, one day someone needs to make the portmanteau movie. Adam Sandler?

Did you ever manage to afford to travel abroad?

i've been abroad, never went 'travelling'. prob won't get to do any of that till retirement now.

What made you think of love and tears
And birth and death and pain?

Dear DL,

What was the origin and meaning of your Wogan Lenin dn?

(Still number one google result for "wogan lenin"!)

Dear DL,

What was the origin and meaning of your Wogan Lenin dn?

(Still number one google result for "wogan lenin"!)

― a pleasant little psychedelic detour in the elevator (Amory Blaine), Wednesday, January 28, 2015 10:19 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

an in joke. circa 2006 my friends at home decided they wanted a friend called wogan. they chose me to have the name. later we formed a short lived Ramones-styled punk band where everyone had stage names. i was wogan lenin. the guitarist was steve mugabe, the drummer was satan christ and the bassist was ike stalin or something... can't remember.

What made you think of love and tears
And birth and death and pain?

― The inscrutable savantism of (Sanpaku), Wednesday, January 28, 2015 9:32 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not ignoring you, just having difficulty with the question

the short term answer is sanpaku.

okay then!

ask dog latin [Started by sorry for asshole (dog latin) in August 2012, last updated 16 minutes ago by UK Horseshit Cru (dog latin) on I Love Everything] 13 new answers

Just posted that so people think someone other than dog latin contributes to this thread.

But the last update on this thread for a long length of time would be Dog Latin's answer

Has he FPed himself yet?

beg your pardon?!

What age do you expect to retire?

pfffff..... probably die before i reach it, realistically.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcEKtVZ0XX4

Have you ever quoth "Euge! Sophos! Hooray!"?