Tu POLLtus es: the Onion columnist poll

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Rate the recurring columnists of the Onion -- which endlessly repeated schtick has remained the most miraculously unstale?

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Jean Teasdale	8
Jim Anchower	6
Smoove B	4
Jackie Harvey	3
Herbert Kornfeld	0
Roger Dudek	0

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:03 (thirteen years ago)

hola amigos

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/Deadman97/jim_anchower.jpg

it's been a long time since i rapped at ya

― Broney, Pt. 1 (Pillbox), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:08 (thirteen years ago)

jean teasdale 4 evah

― ayonanas (Matt P), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:19 (thirteen years ago)

jackie harvey all the way

― max, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:35 (thirteen years ago)

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/10/10443/3x4/90.jpg

― tropical storm mysac (crüt), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:37 (thirteen years ago)

Gotta be Harvey. Hornblower, Teasdale, Smoove and Kornfeld are all pretty one-note, even when good. I can't even recall Dudek offhand.

― ça GLIS aux pays de merveilles; châteaux de loirs (Michael White), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:40 (thirteen years ago)

if jean is one note it's the saddest funniest note

― ayonanas (Matt P), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:42 (thirteen years ago)

Now that the elections are behind us, can we agree that there's no red states and no blue states? There's just one states: The United ones.

― max, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:42 (thirteen years ago)

anchower is awes but it's between teasdale and harvey for me

― goole, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:47 (thirteen years ago)

this is missing zweibel btw

― max, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:51 (thirteen years ago)

if jean is one note it's the saddest funniest note

^^^

― NR’s resident heavy-metal expert (Nicole), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:56 (thirteen years ago)

and ROGER DUDEK

― max, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:56 (thirteen years ago)

matt p OTM, i am sad that teasdale's twitter hasn't updated lately

― TOP FEMALE LAWYER & CARTOONIST FOR 2011: (donna rouge), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 19:57 (thirteen years ago)

wait a minute, i just realized that jackie harvey and paul ryan look exactly alike, can someone post a side-by-side?

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:28 (thirteen years ago)

dudek and teasdale are just too mean for me -- if you want to know who i voted for your hint is that i folllowed my vote with a glass of the finest champagne

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:29 (thirteen years ago)

harvey
anchower
dudek
teasdale
smoove
kornfeld

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:32 (thirteen years ago)

how is dudek mean?

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:32 (thirteen years ago)

never even heard of dudek

― goole, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:36 (thirteen years ago)

god i've been reading this shit for 15 years now

― goole, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:37 (thirteen years ago)

Car Guys for a new generation.

― Earth, Wind & Fire & Alabama (Eazy), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:46 (thirteen years ago)

Anchower

― chicago rap twitter luminary (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:47 (thirteen years ago)

Teasdale is basically just K-Lo from NRO so if I want that kind of comedy I can just go straight to the source

― chicago rap twitter luminary (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 20:48 (thirteen years ago)

dudek is basically a slightly hackier dave barry, it's pretty funny

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:01 (thirteen years ago)

hes a WAY hackier dave barry

― max, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:03 (thirteen years ago)

sorry

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:11 (thirteen years ago)

but i feel like the whole thing of dudek is that he constantly inadvertently reveals the true misery and bitterness at the core of his being while he's TRYING to be a hackier dave barry -- it is indeed funny but to me it seems cruel

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:35 (thirteen years ago)

I loved Herman T. Zweibel back in the '90s, back when all it took to please me was old-timey hyphenation.

― The Equalizer Busy Equalizing (Crabbits), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:55 (thirteen years ago)

I liked when Anchower had a friend paint a dragon on the hood of his car and his friend painted Elliot from Pete's Dragon.

― The Equalizer Busy Equalizing (Crabbits), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:56 (thirteen years ago)

Harvey and Anchower by the same writer, btw. I guess ex-writer now ...

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 22:39 (thirteen years ago)

harvey was an absolute work of genius

― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 23:26 (thirteen years ago)

'herman t. zweibel' is such a libertarian name

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 01:32 (thirteen years ago)

T. Herman!

― goole, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 02:15 (thirteen years ago)

right!
I was in a German class my sophomore year of high school
and learned Zweibel = Onion
it was the kind of I AM SMART I GET IT thing I lived for at the time

― The Equalizer Busy Equalizing (Crabbits), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 02:53 (thirteen years ago)

I loved Herman T. Zweibel back in the '90s, back when all it took to please me was old-timey hyphenation.

Hyphen-ation.

― itt: i forgot that he yells at a butt (sic), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 02:54 (thirteen years ago)

(oops tags)

― itt: i forgot that he yells at a butt (sic), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 02:56 (thirteen years ago)

has to be Teasdale

― "Pffft" --buddha (silby), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 03:00 (thirteen years ago)

I liked the Teasedale book – bonus points for Mort Drucker cover art!

― The Equalizer Busy Equalizing (Crabbits), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 03:19 (thirteen years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c4/Teasdalejeanbook.jpg

― The Equalizer Busy Equalizing (Crabbits), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 03:20 (thirteen years ago)

look at that unicorn I mean

― The Equalizer Busy Equalizing (Crabbits), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 03:20 (thirteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Thursday, 30 August 2012 00:01 (thirteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Friday, 31 August 2012 00:01 (thirteen years ago)

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