Fantasy I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!

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I know I haven't exactly got my finger on the pulse of culture here, and this has probably already been a Radio 5 phone in topic, but it occurred to me in bed last night that the whole marooned celebrity thing chimes exactly with a thought experiment I've often toyed with. Except mine didn't involve people like Darren Day.

I was thinking:

Morrissey
Momus
Stuart Murdoch
George W. Bush
Saddam Hussain
James Anderton

And like, properly stranded on a desert island, for quite a while.

Am I naive, or would this have genuine implications for world history? Which alliances would form?

Who would you like to see?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:13 (twenty-three years ago)

haha they would all end up BARBEQUEING stuart murdoch.

― katie (katie), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know, he's a bit too stringy.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I would add Jarvis Cocker and Laurence from Felt to keep up the weedy element. I'd like to see them trying to rough it, surrounded by snakes and bats and poisonous fruit and CHEESE.

― kate, Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:47 (twenty-three years ago)

No, it would be cruel. I can just imagine poor little Laurence curling into a ball and crying...

Damon Albarn would be fun because I can imagine all of his fake hair coming off and him eventually going all mentalist.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Jarvis is a top choice. Hunter Hearst Helmsley III (Triple H of the WWF). Will Self. Janeane Garofalo. Stephen Wright. Tracey Emin. Big Ron Atkinson. Paul Merton. Daphne & Celeste. Mark E Smith. Madonna. Is that enough?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 September 2002 16:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Would you hope they would get on well or badly, Martin? Who would learn most?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 19 September 2002 16:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd add Melvyn Bragg.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 September 2002 16:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I think they'd all get really devious and capture Ant & Dec and eat them.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 September 2002 17:01 (twenty-three years ago)

No one is taking this seriously.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 19 September 2002 17:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I think some of mine might get on. Daphne & Celeste start as a team, but I see Jarvis, Will Self and Tracey Emin teaming up, and Garofalo and Wright. Big Ron might be a bit bewildered, everyone will hate MES, Triple H won't need any allies. Merton & Madonna are interesting ones.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 September 2002 17:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Triple H will walk around saying "DTA! Don't Trust anyone" and "I am the game, and I am that damn good", Will Self will give him a sneer. The show would be good if commentary is provided by JR and Jerry "the King" Lawler

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 September 2002 17:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Wasn't DTA a Stone Cold Steve Austin line (bar that one classic episode where Triple H revealed that he was behind the hit and run)?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 September 2002 17:54 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, I think so, but I remember Triple H saying it most of all!

Stone Cold should also be on the island as he is not wrestling these days.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 September 2002 17:57 (twenty-three years ago)

There is an "as" in that sentence that I think may need reconsidering, Jel.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 September 2002 18:02 (twenty-three years ago)

bad grammar?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 September 2002 18:08 (twenty-three years ago)

bad logic, I meant.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 September 2002 18:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Will Self, yes! And Martin Amis... I would totally watch Celebrity Island... And maybe add Zadie Smith...

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 19 September 2002 19:02 (twenty-three years ago)

A novelist I was briefly involved with, who had her second novel come out at the same time as White Teeth, found that she (belonging to a very similar demographic) was largely ignored, or they were reviewed together and even when her Orange Laughter got better reviews, she still sold a fraction as many = I still have a prejudice against Zadie.

We could add Paul Gascoigne, to give Big Ron someone to talk to.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 19 September 2002 19:29 (twenty-three years ago)

And Michel Houellebecq so he could walk around nude and try to shag everybody...

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 19 September 2002 19:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Nicky Campbell
Antoine de Caunes
Tom Paulin
Aki Riihilahti
Bonnie Grier
Donna McPhail
Jo Whiley
Miss Dynamite

Which would be interesting.

― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 19 September 2002 19:50 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

John Lydon will be on this show. The apocalypse begins now.

― sym (shmuel), Sunday, 11 January 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

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