Forced acronyms (come up with word first, shoehorn meanings for each letter second)

Mostly I wanted to share this acronym name for the union mingle aimed at people under 30 years old

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg29/scaled.php?server=29&filename=screenshot20120919at524.png&res=landing

turn your eswag on

that's what everyone does right after the plane touches down, right?

B.E.A.S.T.I.E. Boys fits here
like p sure it would all be under the table that it's even an acronym if it weren't for band name origin trivia lists

best one I've done yet

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Joint United States Technology Incident Collaboration Environment for Law Enforcement, Analysis, Guidance & Unified Effort

i'd like to share this pejorative portmanteau i've been enjoying lately:

festeraunt

thank you.

I would own this thread cold if I was still a real regular like

4 years USAF, 3 years FBI and 5 going on 6 years DHS + army brat - y'all got nothing on this for knowing how to roll acronyms and shitty initialisms

I love the halfway approach - have some words you have to use, and come up with a pronounceable acronym:

http://sourceforge.net/projects/ecrisp-x/

or in the case of that project's parent - be a thing, become an acronym (APWG) and then realize you need to make the acronym stand for something else. Or just abandon the expansion altogether like Pittsburgh's Computer Emergency Response Team did (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CERT_Coordination_Center)

GANGNAM STYLE

Global Apparel for National Glory of North American Massive, Style That You Love Evoking

PASTIES

Pieces of Art So you Titties Is Ensconced from Spies

no really give me something to work with

Do one for
THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE
please

PASTIES

Pieces of Art So you Titties Is Ensconced from Spies

dying

this thread is already classic

Truth, Humanity and Empathy Community for the Egalitarian Neutral Treaty of Intellectual Pursuits, Edification, and Deliverance of Effluvium

oh shit I forgot a word! oh shit I can do even better maybe

Truth, Humanity and Empathy, in a Homogenous Unbroken Mobile Animated Nutrient Community for the Egalitarian and Noseworthy Treatment of Intellectual Pursuits, Edification, and Deliverance of Effluvium

Oh My God

Didn't late 80s/early 90s rappers do this a lot? Like, "Wu-Tang" was supposedly short for "Wild, Unpredictable Talent And Natural Game", "KRS-One" was an acronym of "Knowledge Rules Supreme Over Nearly Everyone", and so on... (Always wondered about that one, if it's "nearly" everyone, who are the ones knowledge doesn't rule over?)

Star Trek gets the (Re)Boot
Star Trek Reboot Movie 2 -- The Cumberbatching

Relevant to this thread's interests:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XnS1BncrYM

I once ALMOST got a large pharmaceutical company to do an ad campaign called Babies United for Rotavirus Prevention, just so it could be BURP.

South Lake Union Trolley Streetcar

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Lake_Union_Streetcar

ha!

Oh I thought it was Salt Lake; South Lake not so funny
thank you for your excellent results w/Human Centipede

There's a long running urban legend around the Chicago area that the community college in a far south suburb was going to be the South Holland Institute of Technology.

http://books.google.com/books?id=vDQI-02wki0C&q=fart

I love that Children's Hospital of Philadelphia doesn't have any problem with being a hospital called CHOP. Yup, goin' to get my tonsils out. Where? CHOP.

Some years ago, what is now called the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid had the chance to be called the Medicare and Medicaid Administration, but backed away. Funding from MAMA and a debate over the proper role of MAMA would have had its amusing side.

TURDS

Tubes of Umber Refuse from Digestive Systems

BOOBIES

Bulbs of Organic Ornament Beloved by Introverts, Extroverts, and Sexists

COCKS

Columns Of Child Kreation and Self-pleasure

BEARD

Brushy Emission, Acceptable for Ruggish Dudes

cable is boring and I hate, hate college sports

can't watch Dr. Who while the wife is beauty sleeping

no really give me something to work with

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, September 19, 2012 10:48 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

TURN BACK YOU POXY FULE

What does EL TOMBOTO stand for?

SMELLF

http://distilleryimage10.s3.amazonaws.com/295172d6e67711e1a57122000a1cf722_6.jpg

Holy shit this is the best Tombot delurk ever.

Technical U-turn Required, Not least By All who Comprehend Knowledge; Yes, Our Ultra Processor Optimus-Xavier Yardserver has Failed Us. Likely due to Evil.

What does EL TOMBOTO stand for?

E is for Elements, periodical table of!

L is for Linguistics, a polymath's true love!

T is for Tactics, like in Clausewitz and Sun Tzu!

O is for Operations, that's what operators do!

M is for Metropolitan, because I live in a city!

B is for Bullshit, which is what I guess I try to fight on a regular basis because I am a civil servant who lives in a city that is basically the capital of the first world what the fuck why me why did I sign up for this

O is for Optimism that I must have to be effective!

T is for Technology that is my main cause for invective!

O is for octagonal vagina.

M is for Metropolitan, because I live in a city!

O is for Optimism that I must have to be effective!

skeptical

give you the third O tho

oh that tombot and his exclamation marks!

I've been reading a lot of toddler literature lately, so some the of stylistic cues for my latter-day Shouts & Murmurs never-rans may have changed a bit

WE SURE ARE GOOD AT FINDING A PUMPKIN, DUCK!

YES WE ARE!

It's actually nice because moreso than ever, thanks to the concision and punctiliousness of the best bedtime board books, combined with relentless Robert Caro excerpts and (disclaimer, I think, very limited sample set, strong chance of confirmation bias) resulting resumption of forced un-sloppiness (that would be the dumb way to say concision and punctiliousness) in various forms of adult writing has lead me to really consider SHUT UP

Anyway, I spend more time now writing things as if I they were meant to be read out loud. Clearly not enough.

Heavy Seas' Red Sky at Night is a mean farmhouse ale.

awww

MORON

Mothers Of Ridiculously Overeducated Nerds

DOUCHE

Department Of Utilities, Commerce, Haberdashery and Engineering

CAT

Carnivorous Animal that has zero respect for anybody who gives it food. Think about it.

DOG

Deems Owner to be God

We call these 'hackronyms'. Academic researchers are guilty of the worst when it coems to naming their research projects. "Let's call it Prometheus!"

Pretty Ridiculous, Overwrought Movie Everyone Thought Had Endearingly Ugly Spacesuits

A Novel Idea Gets Harder To Maintain As Reheated Entries Offer Nothing Except Laughable Murder Scenes, Tits, Roseanne, & Englund's Excessive Tomfoolery

insufficient nonsense

I feel like the best forced acronyms have to have some degree of evident torture or brain fire yoga - without obtusity it seems too designed. obviously some amount of cleverness is necessary, but the ultimate result has to somehow remain not clever, just adequate. this is likely a bias learned from years in government where clever is statutorily the place of industry and anything more than adequate strikes fellow bureaucrats as probably (and even sometimes actually) unconstitutional

don't front, Old Lunch's was great

been waiting a week for someone to point out that these things are widely called "backronyms," closest i got was "hackronym" wtf y'all

Curing Racism And Shaming Honkeys

The researchers from the “Physically unclonable functions found in standard PC components” (PUFFIN) project

That's the type of thing I used to come across. Fucking morons.